Chapter 5: Dancing on thin ice.
Chapter 5: Dancing on thin ice.
“Oh, bucker!” Cosmic Odyssey complained, jumping to his hooves and finding a bush to hide in. He had been conscious for less than a minute and already the everfree was up to its usual shenanigans.
A huge storm cloud hung unnaturally low in the sky. Lightning crackled around it like a swarm of angry bees. Then, just as defiantly as it had rolled in, against the prevailing wind, it began to dissipate, revealing a colossal, electric blue zeppelin.
Most ponies would have believed this to be some new R.A.N. warship, and rightly so. Only a few shipyards in Equestria were large enough to build a dreadnaught of this size, and they were all under the R.A.N.'s jurisdiction, but Cosmo knew better. He'd had encounters with this particular vessel several times during his current assignment.
“What is taking so long!” a light blue unicorn mare yelled from the fanciful suspended gondola, holding her pointy wizard hat on her head with a hoof while her star studded cape fluttered in the wind.
“Well, this is definitely the right ship, but what's left of the cargo hold has already been looted. I don’t see it anywhere!” a portly, turquoise stallion called back. “You got anything Snails?” he called to his orange counterpart.
“They said that part of the sun fell off and took the box into a big, shiny, cloud, thing,” the skinny unicorn called back.
“Rats,” the mare cursed. “Do your little friends remember what color it was? The cloud I mean.”
The orange stallion turned back to his assembled bugs and such for a moment before responding. “They said it disappeared.”
“Disappeared? That's not a color.” The blue unicorn scratched her chin in thought. “It must have been the Seltenheit,” she said in annoyance, “Rarity. That still doesn’t explain the 'part of the sun' thing but at least I have some kind of lead.”
“Does that mean I get to be first mate now?” the skinny unicorn asked dumbly.
"Trixie thought she already explained this,” The Great and Powerful Trixie said, glaring at him impatiently and tapping a great and powerful hoof on the deck. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is so much greater and more powerful than any one pony that The Great and Powerful Trixie must be the captain and the first mate of Die Großartige und Mächtige Trixieburg. That is why you and Snips are the second mates," The Great and Powerful Trixie explained snootily. "Hm." The Great and Powerful Trixie turned up The Great and Powerful Trixie's great and powerful muzzle.
“Oh ya, sorry, Trixie.” Snails lowered his head in defeat.
“If you didn't have such a useful talent, Trixie would never have ever hired you in the first place,” The Great and Powerful Trixie said condescendingly.
“Thanks for the sit rep, Trix,” Cosmo muttered to himself, scooting out of the bush and into the forest before dropping his disguise. “The boss is gonna be happy about this.” The shadows of the everfree swallowed his black exoskeleton like water in a pond as he flew west on translucent, blue wings. “Rowan and iron, I'm hungry.”
*******
Rarity strode gracefully through the Seltenheit, though with a small, uncharacteristic catch in one hind leg's action. “Uhg, curse this hip,” she grumbled, rotating the offending limb to loosen the joint while levitating her 'modest' cape out of the way. “What I wouldn't give to have my old legs back.”
“Shall I summon your specialist, ma'am?” the voice of the ship asked with care.
“Thank you, Tom,” Rarity replied, applying weight to the offending leg to test it. “but we shall arrive at our destination soon enough, and I plan to make an appointment with Silver at the first opportunity.”
“Very good, ma'am. Will you be requiring article nine for you trip?” Tom inquired.
“Yes,” Rarity confirmed, resuming her walk, “but I would prefer if it remained a bit of a secret for the moment.”
“Of course, ma'am. It will be in your study.”
Rarity followed the same path her sister had taken not to long ago. Through the cargo bay and up the elevator to the Regenbogen Flitzen, suspended in dry dock.
“Captain Pipsqueak,” she called into the external echo by the door, “may I come aboard?”
“O-of course, ma'am,” Pip replied almost instantaneously, “be right there.”
A very short time later the door opened. Pip stood to one side, breathing heavily and looking incredibly nervous. Rarity stepped through the door, getting her first look inside the ship her sister now crewed on. Simple, but much cleaner than I expected.
“Welcome aboard, ma'am,” Pip said very stiffly.
“Thank you,” Rarity replied, continuing on with grace and poise. “You know, Pip, since you will be marrying my sister, you should really start calling me Rarity instead of ma'am. I suppose you could call me Sister, or Sis as well, but I really would prefer Rarity, at least until after the wedding that is.”
“Oh, um, yes ma'am, um, sis, um, Rarity, uh... yes, of course,” Pip stammered helplessly, trying to suppress his panic.
“Oh, calm down, darling; I won't bite,” much, Rarity laughed. “Sweetie Belle thinks the world of you and, to be honest, I agree with her choice. I dare say you’re the finest suitor she's had yet!” She ventured deeper into the ship, casting him a sly glance.
Pip was stunned. Did he just get complimented by, according to many accounts, the pickiest pony in the world? “Why, thank you, um, Rarity,” he carefully articulated.
“Ooh, is this the fighter of the infamous Baron von Awesome?” Rarity inquired playfully, looking up at Scootaloo's damaged fighter.
“Shore is, Rarity,” Apple Bloom interjected from the other side of the hangar, emerging from her work room to see the new guest. “Ah'm sorry you had to see her in such a state, though. Ah just haven't got round to fixing her up since, well, since she got damaged.”
“Apple Bloom!” Rarity exclaimed in greeting, lifting a foreleg for ladylike emphasis, “it's so nice to see you again. How have you been, Darling?”
“Best and worst time of mah life. You'll forgive me if ah don't' go into details,” Apple Bloom said cryptically. “Hay, Pip, you okay? You look a might nervous,” she teased.
Rarity turned and gave Pip a playful, one might even say flirtatious, glance. “Oh, he is simply worried that I might be unhappy with him being my dear sister's latest suitor.”
“Well don’t that just be it all,” Apple Bloom chuckled. “Hay, Pip, why doncha give your new sister a tour of the ship, eh?” she suggested with a smirk. “Ah reckon it'll be a right good bondin experience.”
Pip twitched.
“Why, that sounds like a fabulous idea, Apple Bloom,” Rarity agreed enthusiastically.
“Wha, but, I.” Pip paused for a moment and took a few breaths to collect himself. “Ahem, sorry. That actually does sound like a good idea. Let's start with the obvious. This is the hangar, obviously. That door over there leads to Apple Bloom's work room, threw there is engineering. If you want a tour of that, ask Apple Bloom; I've gotten lost every time I've ever gone in there.”
Pip led the way up to the mid deck, where the map room, the unused crew quarters, cargo, armory, and bridge were located.
Rarity stopped as they exited the gravity lift. “Why do you have so much unused space, Pip?” she asked, looking into the empty crew quarters.
“Oh, this ship is designed for a crew of twenty four earth ponies,” Pip explained. “But Apple Bloom can manage engineering and cargo by herself, and Sweetie Belle manages the bridge, detection and communication. After that, all we need is navigation and administration, that's me, and an escort, Scootaloo.”
“Quite impressive,” Rarity commented.
“Thank you,” Pip replied, resuming the tour.
They wandered through the mid deck, idly chatting, until they came to the back of cargo hold.
“Where does that door lead?” Rarity asked, pointing to a reinforced door in a back ]]corner by some scattered machine parts.
“Honestly, I don’t know. It's welded shut. There's another one in that corner.” Pip indicated the opposite corner of the bay where most if the cargo was arranged. “Behind the boxes is another door, also welded shut. The best explanation I can come up with is that they lead to some forgotten corner of the supplementary engineering corridors. I've asked Apple Bloom about it but she says everything is in order.”
“Well, isn't that interesting,” Rarity commented, raising an eyebrow. “I wonder if sweet, little Apple Bloom is hiding something back there?”
“Everypony has something to hide,” Pip said, resuming the tour in the direction of the bridge. “I trust her to tell me if she thinks it's important to the ship.”
As they turned back down the hall they saw Sweetie Belle levitating a large cloud of her personal belongings into the gravity lift. Pip blushed brightly and tucked his ears.
Rarity seemed emboldened by Pip's timidness. “Why, wherever are you going with all of that, Sweetie Belle?” she asked in a playful tone.
“Up to Pip's room,” Sweetie replied with similar inflection. “Thanks for the advice by the way,” she added, hopping into the gravity field, “it worked perfectly, just like you said.”
Pip looked at Rarity with epiphany in his eyes. “That's why she was acting so strangely...”
Rarity replied with a grin. “So you do like a more assertive mare I see,” she cooed back at him. “Congratulations, Captain Pipsqueak.”
Pip just stood there, staring forward. The filly of my dreams just appeared out of nowhere and decided were engaged. She just happens to be the little sister of one of the most powerful ponies in the world, who gave me her blessing to marry said sister. I got the prototype I've been hunting, and one of my newest crew members says she will most likely be able to use it. Can life get any better?
Pip's train of thought was derailed by Sweetie Belle yelling from the upper deck. “Hey, Sis, do you have any extra beds?” she called across the gravity lift. “All we have are military bunks!”
“Of course, darling. How many do you need?” Rarity replied, trotting into the gravity lift and leaving pip to try and collect his thoughts, again.
“Well,” Sweetie said once her sister was at a more conversationally conducive distance, “there's me and Pip, that's one. Ditzy will need one. Dinky seems to like the couch she found, but we should ask her if she wants one anyway.” She continued to talk as she resumed moving things from her old room to Pip's. “Apple Bloom sleeps somewhere in engineering, I think she has a pillow collection or something, so she should be fine. Scootaloo sleeps in a hammock but I'd like to ask anyway once we get back to the Flattern Schüchtern. Oh, and there's also Ruby.”
“Sweetie, darling,” Rarity said, stopping her sister, “I've noticed a distinct lack of accessories among you effects. Does Pip not buy you gifts and such on your journeys?” she inquired with concern.
“Oh, we've only been, ahem, 'together' since yesterday,” Sweetie replied with a blush.
Rarity gave her sister a smile. “I'll give you some extra jewelry and makeup as well as the beds. I can't have my dear sister going around looking common can I?” She paused and took a look around Pip's rather spartan living quarters. A small bed, a desk covered in papers and a large bath tub were the only things of note in the unnecessarily large room. “Idea~,” she sang with a worrying glint in her eyes.
She produced a small box from under her cape and a swarm of measuring devices assailed Sweetie Belle. To her credit, Sweetie took it quite well, flinching just a bit. Rarity scribbled down her measurements and hopped into the gravity lift, returning to Pip, who took the assault quite a bit less gracefully. He screamed and flailed for the first few seconds, possibly believing this to be Rarity's belated wrath, then squirmed after Rarity levitated him off the ground.
“Okay!” Rarity chirped, “I'll have your beds and such ready tomorrow afternoon. No, make that tomorrow evening. In the meantime I suggest you prepare for a shopping excursion of your own. We'll be arriving shortly.” She hopped back into the gravity lift and floated down towards the hangar. “I have some things to get in order. I shall meet you on the cargo lift once we arrive. One of my subordinates will show you the way, you've only to ask. Ta ta.”
*******
Down on the cargo bay floor, the crew of the Seltenheit had just finished rotating the crates marked with pink tags to the front and moving the rest aft. They were currently sorting and arraigning them forward of a black and yellow caution strip which ran threw the bay, demarcating one quarter of its length.
Captain Pipsqueak and the crew of the C.M.C. Regenbogen Flitzen trotted across the catwalk, saddlebags slung across their backs, and squeezed into the elevator.
A gruff stallion’s voice echoed from the loudspeakers. “All guests, please assemble at the base of the elevator. Your guide will meet you shortly.”
When they reached the cargo bay floor and exited the elevator they were met by a sprightly, brown, unicorn mare. “Hi, I'm Pretty Officer Quick Fix, and I'll be your guide through the Seltenheit today,” she chirped with an 'I've always wanted to say that' sort of tone.
“Is that really a rank?” Dinky asked, giving Pip an amused look.
Quick Fix giggled and blushed. “Yes, well. On a normal vessel I would be Petty Officer Quick Fix, but Miss Rarity decided that, since I'm so pretty, I should be Pretty Officer Quick Fix instead. Though my pay grade has gone up a couple times since then.”
“Ha ha ha, that's fantastic!” Dinky laughed, almost losing her balance.
“He he, that's my Rarity.” Sweetie Belle's comment was lost under Dinky's uproar.
“Aaanyways,” Quick fix said, turning and trotting toward the cargo bay proper. “Let's get this tour under way.”
She led them out across the bay, pointing out random things and chattering away. “If you look up to your right, you will see the foreman's roost. He's the one you heard earlier informing you where to meet me.” She waved at him; He ignored her. “He is in charge of the cataloging, organization and distribution of all of the cargo on the Seltenheit.”
“Just to the left of that you will see a large wheal. That is one of the four pulleys that raise and lower the cargo lift.” They continued through the middle of the cargo bay. Somehow managing to avoid getting in the way of any of her coworkers. “They each measure one hundred twenty one hooves two inches in diameter and weigh in at just under two hundred thousand pounds, making them the heaviest single components of the Seltenheit.”
When they came to the the yellow and black striped line that marked the edge of the forequarter of the bay Quick Fix stopped. “This line marks the edge of the cargo lift,” she said, gesturing from one side to the other with a sweep of her hoof. “When the red lights come on, make sure to stand clear. That means the floor is about to start moving.”
As if on cue, an orange earth pony trotted over to them carrying a set of saddlebags on his back and another in his mouth. A pair of reinforced goggles hung around his neck and he had thick chaps around his forelegs, both of which were covered in scorch marks and dark stains.
“Howdy, boss,” he slurred around the strap in his mouth.
“Hay, Sprocket,” Quick fix excitedly replied, waving to the new arrival. “This is Sprocket,” she informed her guests. “He's my assistant.”
“Ah got all uh your field tools in the left bag and Cookie's in the right, wound n' ready,” he informed her while he strapped her saddle bags on. “Rarity has me carryin' some special cargo so I'll meet y'all on the lift.” After he finished adjusting Quick Fix's bags he turned to Pip and his crew. “Sorry, I gotta trot. Nice meetn y'all,” he said before hustling off toward the front of the bay.
“Well he seemed awfully nice,” Apple Bloom observed.
Quick Fix blushed a bit and watched him trot off. “Ya, he's a great assistant. Gets a bit stuck in his work sometimes though.”
“Maybe you should build him a giant, heart shaped chocolate dispenser,” Ditzy suggested teasingly.
“Ha ha, maybe I will,” Quick Fix chuckled. “Anyway, back to the tour. Do you have any questions so far?”
“Actually, ah have one,” Apple Bloom replied. “Ah've noticed a lot of mechanical devices round here but not many thaumaturgical. Why's that.”
“I'm glad you asked!” Quick Fix chirped, overflowing with enthusiasm. “While thaumaturgy offers a wide variety of advantages, clockwork and steam powered machinery are much cheaper and, in many cases, stronger,” she continued, ecstatic that her audience was actually interested in her work. “It's also important that anything you have has somepony to maintain it. Mechanics are fairly easy to come by, though any you'll find on this crew are head and withers above the rest. Thaumaturges, on the other hoof, are quite rare. If you can manage to even find one they usually charge a small fortune for their services. We're very fortunate to have no less than two on staff, though I've never had the chance to meet them in pony myself.”
“Quite impressive,” Apple Bloom complimented, then she smirked. “Our crew only has one.”
“You have a thaumaturge on crew?” Quick Fix squealed, completely forgetting about the tour. “Can I meet her?”
“You just did, Miss,” Apple Bloom informed her, puffing up her chest a bit.
“Oh, my, gosh,” Quick Fix said, staring at Apple Bloom with wide eyes. “Can you show me some earth magic? I've never actually seen any before. I mean I've seen glyphs and magitech and stuff, but I've never actually seen a thaumaturge doing it themselves.”
“He he, sure.” Apple Bloom blushed slightly. “Once were on the ground Ah'll show ya somethin.” she gestured in the direction they had been moving. “You were telling us about the lift Ah b'lieve?”
“Oh, yes, of course.” Quick Fix continued the tour, hardly missing a step. “Each of those pulleys supports a cable which attaches to a corner of the lift platform. They’re fourteen inches wide and long enough to lower the lift as far as twenty five fathoms. Each is alchemically reinforced to resist wear and tear, and to make them even stronger. Theoretically we could lift the entire Seltenheit with just six of them, but we've never tested that.”
When they arrived at the middle of the forequarter Quick Fix announced, “This is where ponies assemble while the lift is in motion.” She stopped at the center and turned to face her charges. “Some ponies will be elsewhere making sure nothing falls over, or off, but most of us stay in the middle for safety.”
At that exact moment a number of spinning, red lights came to life and the foreman’s voice boomed from the speakers. “All personnel departing the Seltenheit, assemble on the lift. Ten minutes to decent.”
“That's the foreman,” Quick fix reiterated with her trademark baseless enthusiasm.
Ponies began to filter in from every direction. Pegasus ponies flew in from above, earth and unicorn ponies filtered in between the crates, and a number of unicorns hopped from crate to crate using their magick to finely reposition things and tighten straps for safety before joining the rest.
Rarity chose that moment to appear, dressed in her not so modest finery. She wore a pink cape with sky blue embroidery around the edges and a white feathered collar. She had chosen mostly silver jewelry with sapphires to compliment the cape. She wore no crown this time, allowing her main to bounce freely.
“Good evening, Miss Rarity,” Quick fix said with a bow, prompting everypony else to do the same, except for Sweetie and Pip. “You're supposed to-” She was cut off before she could finish.
“Good evening, everypony,” Rarity called as she approached, prompting the crew to stand. “For those of you who haven't met her yet, I would like to introduce you to my sister.” She gestured with a hoof, “Sweetie Belle.” She moved her hoof to Pip. “And my future brother-in-law, Pipsqueak.”
The ponies present provided proper, if rather over enthusiastic, greetings. Sweetie blushed a bit and shied away from the attention. Pip stepped in to take some of the focus off of her.
Quick Fix's eyes were positively sparkling with surprise and delight. “Best, day, ever,” she squealed under her breath.
“It's a pleasure to meet you all,” Pip announced. “You may call me Pipsqueak or just Pip, I answer to both. In case you were wondering, that is my ship.” He pointed to the Regenbogen Flitzen suspended over the aft portion of the cargo bay.
“And this is my crew.” He gestured to each as he named them. “You've already been introduced to Sweetie Belle, she is my first mate.” There were some muffled whispers and giggles. Pip made a mental note to see if 'first mate' meant something else once he had a some time.
“This is Apple Bloom, chief engineer and chef.” Apple Bloom gave an uncharacteristically girly curtsy.
“Ditzy Doo, our moral officer.” Ditzy gave a polite smile and nod.
“That's Dinky Doo, weapons specialist, point defense system and master marine.” Dinky tried to mimic Apple Bloom's curtsy, and managed to only stumble a little.
“And Ruby...” Ruby was, as usual, nowhere to be seen. “Well, Ruby Pinch is somewhere around here. She handles security, boarding and counter-boarding.”
“Excuse me Pip, but shouldn't we wait for Ruby?” Quick Fix interjected with a concerned look.
Pip grinned mischievously. “You know, you're right. Ruby, can you come over here please?” Pip said in no particular direction.
“I'm right here, Captain,” Ruby whispered, close beside him.
“Okay, she's here,” Pip announced, inciting giggles from his crew and confusion from Rarity's.
“Pipsqueak, I hate to be rude,” Rarity said, ending his fun, “but would you please stop foaling around, we really must be going.”
“Of course,” Pip complied with a snicker. “Ruby, would you reveal yourself please?” he said, addressing the empty space. “I would actually like to get something done today.”
“Okay,” Ruby relented, reluctantly releasing her spell.
The crowd of ponies emitted several gasps and a couple of them took a step back as a shimmering red cloud materialized between Pip and Apple Bloom, coalescing into a slender, reddish purple unicorn.
“I don't know any of these ponies,” Ruby whispered to Pip. “Can I please just stay invisible?”
“Miss Rarity is doing us a huge favor,” Pip quietly reminder her, imposing himself between Ruby and the majority of the Seltenheit's crew. “You don’t want to rude to such a kind and generous pony now do you?”
Ruby was saved from having to respond by the foreman's voice booming over the loudspeakers. “Final check.” The pegasi around the perimeter of the arranged cargo stretched and folded their wings in semaphore, indicating everything was ready and secure. “All cargo secure, decent in thirty seconds.”
Quick Fix diverted Pips attention with a wave of her hoof. “While the lift is moving stand like this,” she instructed, taking a slightly exaggerated 'hooves out, knees bent' stance. “The wind can get kinda strong around here and the lift might start to sway just a bit, so it's best to start low, just in case.”
“Decent in five, four, three, two, one, mark.”
Pip watched closely as the unicorns on the outside of the group lit up their horns, arranging a rainbow of barriers around the rest of the crew. When the lift cleared the hull the magick that held the ship aloft flooded across the platform. It smelled of deep earth and metal, and had the texture of fine sand. Some of the earth ponies made faces and Pips bones began to feel heavy. Apple Bloom's eyes went wide as she began to glow bright orange. Dinky's legs began to shed flecks of gold light, in which both her and Ditzy took great interest.
Finally they passed through the thick magical field and were immediately struck by a strong crosswind. “Sorry about that!” Quick Fix shouted over the howling winds. “I forgot to warn you about the field! No idea what it is, but earth ponies don't seem to like it much!”
“Don't worry about it!” Pip replied. “It wasn't to bad!”
The sun hung low over the western horizon of dusty rolling hills. The border of the eastern everfree was barely visible in the distance. A large, rocky mountain rose beside them, blocking the view of the south. Pip began to notice a distinct rhythm on the wind, which grew as they descended, becoming the sound of drums and metal percussion, then shouts and the ruckus of hundreds of hooves all stomping together, then finally he could hear the unmistakable rumbling murmur of a market bazaar.
The platform hit the ground with a heavy whump. Dust scattered in every direction but was quickly carried away by the wind, flowing over the wall of magick around them. Tents and market stalls sprawled out before him like a city of canvas, extending into a huge cave in the nearby mountain. Music shook the air and ground alike and Pip couldn’t suppress his grin.
“So this is the Everparty,” he muttered, staring toward edge of the platform. “This could be fun.”Expand to full tour of ship
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FIRST AND AWESOME ALTHOUGH I PREFER PIP X LUNA THIS IS JUST AS AWESOME
1477741
CANTERLOCK ROCKS YOUR SOCKS OFF
There should me a metal band called CANTERLOCK, that would be so beautiful.
1477972 ...Celestia (Guitar), Luna (Guitar, lead vocals), Cadence (Keyboard, backup vocals), Chrysalis (Drums) and Discord (Bass) form a band called CANTERLOCK and go on tour around the multyverse. The head line is "CANTERLOCK WILL ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF"
I like this idea...
Make it a story bro. You will be deemed most awesome in my book.
1478131 Its in proses now
1487134 Genius
I saw when youp spelled ccorner you had it as cornier. you also said pleas you left out the E in oh your welcome to.
I also give this
out of 
staches
1920152 So, what you're saying is I only made 3 mistakes? Cool!
1932849 WILL THIS EVER CONTINUE!?!?!?!
2286264 Yes, yes it will. I'm so, so sorry its taking so long. I have an actual job now and, being mildly autistic, it's a very stressful thing.
Again, I apologise for taking so long, life and all that, but I promise there will be more. at the moment I plan on around 25 to 30 chapters and a few world building prequels (specifically some origin stories).
I'm also considering submitting it to eqd to get a little mote interest (at the moment I'm only writing for 18 ponies) but we'll see.
2286863 It's all cool man, it's a really awesome story.