CHS Drama
In a black and red striped sports car, Helios was driving while Sunset sat in the passenger seat while Honey sat in the back. The ride to CHS was going pretty quietly, Honeyglow was playing on her phone while her older siblings drive and just leaned against the window or at least Sunset was doing the latter.
Sunset hadn't spoken since they left the house, she was a bit worried about going back to CHS where everyone hated her and her friends had abandoned her. She felt a bit better going with her brother and sister but still,
she turned to to Helios who was focusing on keeping his eyes on the road. She worried if she could make things difficult for Helios and most importantly. She looked back at her little sister who was enjoying playing on her phone, being a middle school girl in school filled with high school students would be hard enough without a big sister who wasn't very popular. A part of her was afraid that Honey would be picked on for being her little sister or worst tried to be used by someone who wanted some leverage over her. She sighed before the car stopped at red light, she turned to Helios who looked her with reassurance, "I know what your thinking, but don't worry Honey's a tough girl, if those boneheads try to hurt her or you they'll have me to answer to." He promised with a confident smirk, Sunset smiled, glad that she had such a great big brother now.
The light changed green and the car started moving again. Sunset finally started to enjoy the ride but then as she thought about her former friends she remember what her mom had told them before they left.
"Remember Sunray, just because you want to hate those girls for turning their backs on you, don't. Because that would be something the old you would've done. And you should know how important it means to have a second chance."
She thought about that. Not forgiving them, hating them, letting them drown in their own guilt, that was something the old her would've taken great pleasure in. But not the her now, she knew what it was like to want a chance to prove to others that you learned from your mistakes, to prove you change from that one mistake and that you'll never repeat that mistake again. She had ruled the school through fear and hate, made everyone turn against each other, broken the friendship between Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy, tried to destroy them and Twilight. Yet even after that they still gave her a second chance to better, to be their friend. Maybe she should try giving them the chance they gave her. Maybe-
"Hey we're here."
Helios voice snapped her out of her thinking as she realized they had indeed arrived at the school and they had stopped in the student parking lot. As they hopped out the car Sunset seeing the building filled with people who now hated her started getting cold feet but when Helios gripped her shoulder and Honey held, she turned to them and saw both had smile that said, "We're here for you sis." Sunset took a deep breath and smiled as three walked towards the front door.
Once they got there Sunset grabbed the door handle and opened it, "Let me show you around, I know I'm not exactly loved here but I still know the school like the back of hand." She said, looking at the back of her hand to emphasizes her quip. Helios and Honey laughed as the trio walked into the building.
As they walked they noticed that while there were some student but not a lot, whatever they were doing before they stopped and turned to glare at Sunset. As she walked in she her them say.
"Oh look it's Anon-a-Miss."
"Little miss secret stealer."
"Hoped she'd be smart and stayed away."
Sunset gripped her elbows and her eyes grew wet as the whispers and mutters kept coming. She hated it. she Absolutely hated it.
Then suddenly as the some of the students tried to get closer, a strong arm wrapped itself around her, and a pair of small hands grabbed her right hand and held it firmly and gently. She looked up to her left and saw her brother glaring at the students with the protectiveness only a big brother would have causing them all to either stay put or take a step back, seeing that this was a guy who shouldn't be messed with. Then she looked down to her left and saw her sister holding her hand and smiled at her, silently telling her that she was safe. She smiled, closed her eyes and thought 'Having siblings is the best.'
The three continued walking as Helios kept shooting his glare at everybody, practically daring any of them to hurt Sunset. As they were moving towards the principal's office they didn't notice that they were being watched by Sunset's former friends: the Rainbooms.
"Who were the two new kids?" Rainbow asked looking at Helios and Honey.
"More importantly why are they hanging around with that snake?" Applejack spat.
"The poor darlings are new here, so they must not know that they're being accompany by Anon-a-Miss." Rarity reasoned.
"So what should we do girls?" Pinkie asked.
"I say we follow them and warn them about Sunset." Rainbow suggested.
"Agreed, the less people that are around Sunset the less likely she can get their secrets." Rarity agreed.
"Then let's move ya'll." Applejack said as they followed the three students. Fluttershy however who was silent throughout the entire debate hanged back a bit. Unlike the others she saw that Sunset actually looked happy with the new arrivals, she imagined they were probably new friends she hanged out with after they left her. She looked down at the particular thought came to her and she especially remember how she screamed how Sunset wasn't their friend, right in her face no less. When she and her friends went home she finally realized what she had done and the impact it could have on Sunset and cried all night. After that she watched as the chaos of Anon-a-Miss got worse and worse everyday, and she felt very uncomfortable seeing Sunset getting blamed for it. She also began to question if Sunset really was Anon-a-Miss but she was too afraid of what her friends would think and also if Sunset would be willing to hear her out.
"Hey Fluttershy! you coming?" She heard Rainbow calling her, pulling her back to reality. "O-oh yes. Coming." She answered and followed after her friends while thinking, 'Am I really doing the right thing by staying away from Sunset or am I doing the wrong thing? I should probably talk to Sunset myself just to be sure.' she thought as she hurried after her friends without noticing three girl looking very concerned.
Celestia sat in her office drink some fresh hot cocoa while trying to not over stress herself. She and Luna have been working incredible hard to try and keep the heat from all the students fighting caused by Anon-a-Miss to a minimal while trying to figure out who she was. But so far they weren't having much luck with the former as every time someone new got their secrets post they kept getting thrown off the perpetrators tail, but she did know for a fact that it wasn't Sunset. the fact that Anon-a-Miss's profile was a silhouette of Sunset and with her hair colors was just sloppy, she remember when Sunset was bully she always did things discreetly without trying to let anything be traced back to her and she never tried to embarrass anybody like this unless they had fulfilled her demands. 'Besides Sunset is no longer the kind of person who would do this.' she thought as she remembered how much the girl had done so much since her defeat at the Fall Formal and Celestia knew that after the Battle of the Bands Sunset was not them same girl.
But still if Sunset wasn't Anon-a-Miss then who else could it be? After she finished her cocoa she let out a sigh of frustration and pressed her fingers against her temples. Then Luna opened the door and saw her sister with her hands on her head. "Tia? Are you alright?" She asked her big sister.
Celestia looked up at her little sister and gave a reassuring smile, "Oh yes, Luna I'm fine. It's just between the arguments and fighting between our students and this whole mess with Anon-a-Miss," She sighed, "I would really like some good news for a change."
Luna smiled and walked back to the door, "Well if that's what you want," Celestia arched a brow as Luna grabbed the doorknob, "Our new students have arrived." She opened the door as the three Shine siblings walked in Celestia beamed at the sight of the Trio.
"Helios, Honeyglow! and Sunset?"
"Hi Mrs. Celestia. Jinx!" They said in unison.
They all chuckled. Celestia got up from her seat, walked around her desk and held Helios's hands, "Oh Helios. It's so good to have you at CHS." She said with joy. She had always enjoyed her time with the Shine siblings whether it was when she babysitting them or when she visited them and their parents just for fun. "Just look at you, such a handsome young man." Helios blushed at her compliment as the others giggled.
"Hehe, thanks Celestia and it's good to you too." Helios chuckled nervously as he hugged the woman. When they separated, Celestia turned and kneeled to the youngest child, "And is this little Honey? Oh you've gotten so big since I last saw you but still as cute as button." she gushed, Honey's face turned red this time making her look even more adorable as she mumbled, "Thank you."
Celestia finally turned to Sunset, "And hello to you as well Sunset, are you ok?" she asked in concern knowing full well that the rest of the student body was giving her a hard time.
"I'm fine Mrs. Celestia, thanks to these two." She gestured to Helios and Honey.
Celestia smiled but was a little confused, "Well I'm glad but what are the three of you doing here together?" she asked, Three students glanced at each other smiling, "We have lot to catch up on," Helios said, further confusing the two adults.
The three Shine siblings then went on to explain to the two women what they had discovered yesterday, Helios almost crashing into Sunset, her true identity as the long thought dead daughter of Golden Shine and Flame Heart Sunray, how she ended up in Equestria. At the end of the explanation both Celestia and Luna both looked at them with shocked expressions. They never realized that Sunset was the same little girl they babysat along with Helios all those years ago. granted They should've seen the resemblance between Sunset and Sunray when she was first admitted into Canterlot High but it had been a long time since they last saw little Sunray so making out any similarities would be a bit of challenge.
"I must say I wasn't expecting that," Luna said simply, eyes wide.
Celestia just shook her head and turned to Sunset, "I can't believe your actually little Sunray. How did I not see the similarities?" She asked herself before her face turns more guilty, "If only I saw it sooner, if I had known that you were Sunray you would've been-oof!" Celestia was interrupted when Sunset hugged her tightly and tried to bury her face in her shirt.
"No." Sunset simply said as Celestia remained still in shock, "Don't think it's your fault. You couldn't have known I was Sunray, even if you did and you told me when I was still the school bully I'd probably just laugh in your face or use that information to me advantage. What matters is that I'm back with my family and now I remember who my favorite babysitters are." Celestia smiled warmly at that last part and hugged Sunset back. Luna, Helios and Honey just looked on and smiled.
Once Sunset and Celestia separated the principal went over to her desk, opened a draw and pulled out 2 pieces of paper, "Here are your class schedules you two," She said passing the papers to Helios and Honey, "Your first period class start in half an hour, so I suggest you three get going." The three nodded and turned to leave but not before they felt their phones vibrating again.
"Ugh, doesn't this Anon-a-Miss know went to quit?" Helios demanded not even bothering to take out his phone.
"Unfortunately not." Sunset muttered.
"Well if there is a plus side, at least Celestia and I know for sure you aren't Anon-a-Miss." Luna commented as Sunset smiled at that the unexpected turn of good fortune, "And don't you worry, we're doing everything we can to track down the one whose really behind this. If you find anything that may lead back to them bring it to us immediately."
"You got it!" Honey saluted as the older people chuckled. The Shine trio then left the room to begin their school day. Celestia sat down and redrank her cocoa but with a smile on her face, not just for finding further evidence that Sunset wasn't Anon-a-Miss but also that her old friend's daughter had returned. She turned to her Sister who also had a smile on her face, "Luna something tells me that these last few days before the break has just started getting better." She mused as Luna nodded.
"Are ya sure they went this way?" Applejack asked as the 5 girls tried to find out where Sunset and the two new student were. By the time Fluttershy had caught up with them the school started filling up and they lost them in the sea of students but Rainbow already had an idea where they were.
"Of course I am! Every new student has to meet with Principal Celestia to get their school schedules so naturally will find them at her office or leaving from there." Rainbow reasoned as they kept trekking through the halls. Eventually they reach the hall where the principal's office was located. Just as they were about to approach the office, a door opened and Sunset along with the other 2 student walked out but they hadn't noticed the 5 girls hiding behind the lockers, "See? I told ya they be here!" Rainbow whispered to the others.
"Well pat yourself on the back later, we have tell those two what danger their in." Rarity reminded her. Rainbow nodded and Rainbooms moved towards the three. Fluttershy was the only one who didn't move because unlike the others she saw that Sunset was very happy with the boy and little girl and she didn't like the idea of ripping Sunset away from her new friends but she did want a chance to talk to her so she decided to that once her friends had said their piece she ask Sunset if she really was Anon-a-Miss.
Sunset looked at her brother and sister's schedules and turned to them, "Alright looks like your first period classes are right next to mine so..." Sunset trailed off as she looked over her brother shoulder and saw who was coming towards them. "Oh great," She muttered with deadpanned stare.
"Huh?" Helios and Honey turned around and saw five girls walking towards them. Helios looked at them then to Sunset as he saw the pain look on her face he turned to the girls with caution, "And who are you?" He asked.
"My name's Rainbow Dash and this Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie," The rainbow haired girl introduced herself and her friends, "And we're here to tell you and your little friend that your hanging out with someone you don't want to hang around with." She stated as she pointed to Sunset. Helios turned back to his sister, there was a silent conversation between them that told him that these were the ones who betrayed her.
"Well I can assure you, me and my sister know that we do want hang to out with her," Helios said with defensive glare.
"Well trust me when I say sugarcube, you don't want to anywhere near Sunset Shimmer." Applejack retorted.
"And why is that?" He asked raising a brow, though he already knew the answer.
"Because that girl your standing next to is the MyStable user Anon-a-Miss whose been posting everyone's secrets and who betrayed us!" Rarity answered as Fluttershy started twiddle her fingers nervously and uncertainly.
"So you say!" Sunset barged into the conversation, glaring at her former friends, "But I'm telling you the same thing I told the day you all turned your backs on me, I'm not Anon-a-Miss! When is gonna get through your thick skulls."
"Um, actually I'm starting to think-" Fluttershy tried to speak but Rainbow interrupted her.
"Cut the lies Sunset! We know that you had dirt on everyone in the school," Rainbow said getting in Sunset's face. "your the only one who could possibly be Anon-a-Miss!"
"Plus all those photos from our slumber party at Rarity's were taken by you Secret-stealer!" Pinkie said pointing her finger at Sunset.
"And we're not gonna let you try and steal the secrets of these two either!" Applejack added, gesturing to Helios and Honey, the latter hiding behind the former.
"Well have you considered that you may be wrong and that Anon-a-Miss might have hacked into my phone somehow and copied my pictures?" Sunset shot back and started to clench her fist, "And another thing, their names are Helios and Honey and I would never, EVER take their secrets!"
"You stole our secrets, "Rarity argued crossing her arms, "Why they be any different?"
"BECAUSE THEY'RE MY FAMILY!!!" Sunset screamed as the everyone stared silent at her. Sunset calmed down and stared fiercely at them, "That's right, Helios Shine and Honeyglow are my big brother and little sister." Rarity snapped out of her shock when she heard Helios's last name.
"Wait 'Shine'?" She slowly turned to Helios who was casting a disappointed glare at them while not noticing Honey was walking a little bit down the another hall, "Y-you two wouldn't happen to be related to..."
Helios nodded, "Yes, mine and Honey's mother is the famous fashion model Golden Shine." The girls jaws dropped as they turned to their former friend, "And since I'm their sibling that means that their mother is also my mother." Sunset said simply.
Rainbow was the first to snap out the shock and glared at Sunset, "Yeah right! We all know your from Equestria, you're probably just lying to them by pretending to be the Sunset of this world." She said, not buying Sunset's story.
"Actually as it turns out I am the Sunset of this world." She retorted as the girl gasped in shock, "I know, surprised me too."
"B-but how-" Pinkie tried to ask before Helios held up his hand.
"I think we're getting off topic here," Helios said as he approached the girls who only now started to see that this young man looked like someone you wouldn't want to pick a fight with and started to take a few steps back, "While do appreciate your concern for me and my sister, I'd rather listen to my sister than the five who betrayed her, and let me tell if any of you even think about hurting my little sister in anyway, you'll have me to deal with, capishe?" He growled as Fluttershy and Pinkie hid behind Rainbow and Applejack who were to shock to do anything while Rarity had a nervous look on her face and gulped.
"U-uh, yes whatever you say dear." She said hastily as Helios continued to glare at them.
"Good. Now if you'll excuse us we got to get class, come on girls." Helios said as he turned and walked away with Sunset and Honey, the former giving one last glare to her former friends and Honey who was eyeing the hallway she was looking at with suspension. As the 3 Shine siblings walked away, the Rainbooms turned and walked away to their own classes with doubts flowing through their head.
Was Sunset really Anon-a-Miss?
Was it possible that they were wrong?
If so then who could the real Anon-a-Miss be?
They didn't know the answers. All except one. Fluttershy realized that the moment Sunset said she never hurt her brother and sister and how Helios defended her, she knew that Sunset was innocent. And she knew that meant one thing.
'I have to apologize to her.'
As Honey walked after her big brother and sister she started to think back to what she saw in the other hallway,
While the older kids were talking Honey noticed three girls talking down the hall behind them, who had probably heard Sunray's screaming. she walked a little down the hall to here what they were talking about.
"Ya heard her to right?" One of the girls asked, one with red hair and a pink bow in it and had a country accent.
"Yeah I did. But I thought Sunset didn't have family here." Another girl said one with a black jacket and orange skin.
"Maybe she was adopted by them." the third girl with white skin guessed.
"We'll worry about that later, right now we need to talk about our plan." The country girl reminded them. Honey interest was piqued at that 'Plan? What plan?'
"Are you two sure we should keep doing this," the Orange skinned girl asked with doubt, "I know you 2 are doing this to get her away from your sister and I'm doing it for Rainbow but I don't like going behind her back and doing stuff like this."
"I don't like it either Scootaloo but this is the only way we can actually spend time with our sister without Sunset getting in the way," The white skinned girl told the girl called Scootaloo.
"Besides if we tell anyone what we're doing they'll hate us for sure." the country girl added.
"I guess so but I say after the Christmas we just go ahead and delete it, just so we're in the clear." Scootaloo purposed as the other two girls nodded in agreement.
"Well I say we get moving, class starts in a few minutes." The white girl suggested and with that the three walked away without noticing Honey looking at them with suspision 'Plan to keep big sis out of the way? Delete what exactly?' She thought to herself before a realization came to her 'Could they be talking about-'
"Good. Now if you'll excuse us we got to get class, come on girls." Helios's voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she saw her siblings walking away from the other five girls who had fearful expressions on their faces. She looked back down the hall where the three girls were with suspicion and walked after her siblings with one thought on her mind.
'I wonder if they have anything to do with Anon-a-Miss.'
If those girls really were connected to the real Anon-a-Miss then she should probably tell Sunray and Helios about it. She was about to speak up when her sister bumped right into a teenaged boy with blue hair and carrying a guitar on his back and landed on her rear. She and Helios rushed to help her up but the other beat them to it. "Whoa, sorry about that Sunset, apparently bumping into girls is a bit of a bad habit of mine." He said sheepishly as Sunray got back on her feet.
"Hey Flash," She said back to the boy named Flash, "You okay?" she asked in concerned.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Friendships a bit strained with the guy but doing alright," Flash answered before looking at Sunray with concern "But I could ask you the same thing you know with practically everyone thinking your Anon-a-Miss."
Sunray just blinked and nodded, "Yeah I'm fine, don't worry about it." She said sounding a little surprised.
Flash sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Look I know what your thinking but let me assure you I don't believe your Anon-a-Miss." He admitted surprising Sunray, "After I saw how much you changed during the finals of the Battle of the Bands I know you wouldn't do this if it meant losing everyone trust in you. Plus I have admit back when you were a bully you never did something like this. Also I feel a little rotten for what I said during the semifinals." He then looked down a bit guilty.
Helios raised a brow "What DID you say?"
"You don't wanna know." Flash said holding up his hand and turned back to Sunray, "Look I guess what I'm trying to say is I believe you Sunset and if need some help just give me a call."
Sunray looked at the boy in shock before forming a grateful smile and surprised him by giving a hug, "Thank you Flash, I really needed to hear that." She said softly as Flash smiled and hugged her back. As Honey watched it she had a feeling that Sunray really liked this Flash guy. After they separated Flash looked at her and Helios, "So you gonna introduce me to your new friends here?" he asked gesturing to the two as Sunray nodded and walked over to the two.
"This is Helios Shine my big brother and this Honeyglow my little sister." She said holding Helios shoulder and giving Honey a side hug.
Flash's eyes widened, "Wait brother and sister?! But I thought you said-" He tried to say but Sunray held up her hand.
"It's a long story Flash, see you at lunch? I'll explain it to you there." She purposed. Flash nodded, "Sounds good. Anyway I gotta go to music class now I'll you three later." with that Flash left the hall to the music room.
Helios smiled, "Well he seemed pretty nice."
"Yeah, Flash always was great guy." Sunray said with a smile as well. Honey looked at her big sister and asked curiously, "Is he your boyfriend?"
Sunray's face turned beet red as she whipped to her little sister, "WHAT?! NO! I mean we did date a while back but-"
"Wait," Helios said with a wicked smirk, "You actually dated that guy?! Haha! Oh man, mom and dad are definitely gonna want to hear this when we get home." He declared as walked to his classroom.
Sunray turned her blushing face towards her brother as her face started to turn even more red with rage and embarrassment and chased after her big brother, "Oh you are doing no such thing! The last thing I need is mom nosing around my lovelife, do you hear me Helios Shine?!" She shouted as Honey followed her older siblings giggling along. She still wanted to tell Sunray about her theory about Anon-a-miss but now didn't seem like a good time, she decided to wait until tonight to tell her.
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XD Hell yeah!
I like how you've kept violence out of your Anon-A-Miss story, it helps your story stick out from the other stories. I do hope Sunset accepts Fluttershy's apology as it will help heal Sunset's heart and lift away negative emotions.
Also I can already see Sunset being absolutely furious at the revelation of Applebloom and her friends being the ones behind the demeaning blog that has destroyed all her hard earned work of showing that she has changed.
I've been working on ideas for my own take on the Anon-A-Miss storyline as it will be a video game crossover with Ratchet and Clank.
All I can say is, I hope you follow through with this.
Im lovin it, though i kinda hope we dont get a mane 6-7 make up too quick. Too many have sunset forgive too fast she was betrayed by her closest friends, not wanting to be friends even after the mess would be not only what sounds right but also what sounds closer to a sane and stable friend. Group they showed what they would trust more and fucked and fuckups dont just dissapear when the liar is gone.
Extra note: Seeing as shy is kindess and more importantly shy and afraid to go against the group commonly if its told as she was scared of the group then sunset would make sense for quick forgiveness to shy
I'm telling you, little kids are way smarter and more perceptive than adults give them credit for.
Ok, how numbskulled can those Rainbooms (minus Fluttershy) be when Celestia, Luna, and Flash can tell Sunset's innocent.
I appreciate that Fluttershy is the first to doubt not only because she's my fav but it fits her character.
Though my question is, Does our fire-haired girl go by Sunset or Sunray now? I mean, one is her birth name but the other, she's used for most of her life. Seems comparable to Madagascar 2 where Alex is known as Alex to the New Yorkers, but Alekay to the Africans, yet he's still Alex for the most part.
I would think, to those who knew her pre-Equestria she'd be Sunray, and to those at CHS post-Equestria, she'd be Sunset. But Celestia and Luna Know her as both, Sunray as a child, and Sunset as a teen.
Y'know what? I'm just gonna call her Sunny, best of both worlds.
Also, Helios, let it be known that whatever Flash said, was done under the influence of the Siren's song. Flash is a nice guy.
And I can't wait to hear back from Twi about meeting Sunny's pony counterpart.
I can't help but feel that the delivery in Chapter 4 of the family news to Celestia could have been played out a bit more before the off-camera info-dump. The following line is good.
But what we got after was:
We could have had a little more fun with this part. For instance,
Or maybe,
I'm still enjoying the story though, and look forward to future chapters.
FLASH SUNET THING AAAAWWW COME ON! great the story si ruined for me now.
I'm starting to REALLY like Sunset siblings.
nice work.
Very entertaining chapter I like the fact that the brother and sister are willing to jump into immediately for the Love of their sister Sunset. I'm kind of wondering if she's going to go and change her name now because her real name should be Sunray and all the records should match that I do look forward to what happens with her and Fluttershy. Look forward to the next chapter.
10578559
agreed.
HarryBuilder bro would you mind placing me in the story as either Sunset/Sunray's BF or platonic best friend?.
10578180
Family always looks out for each other and have each other's backs.
As sabretooth/Victor Creed from X Men Origins would've put it,
"We're brothers, Jimmy, ya realize that?, brothers protect each other, we stick together no matter what".
"We have to be hard now, hard that so nothing can ever touch us, and we take care of anyone who gets in our way".
10579122
Well, will have to see.
10579124
interesting
10579169
i'm a marvel and wolverine fan.
The idea was interesting but I just can't keep going. Future flashset stuff aside.
Helios just feels... he's too much. Like. Everyone doesn't want to mess with him, he's rich and shit. I dunno. He feels like a self insert.
Honey found anon a miss REALLY fast. Like. Super fast.
Like someone else mentioned, off camera info dumps. I was looking forward to Sunset telling Tia what happened but instead of her learning that the mess of a life sunset lived and feeling bad she never helped "Sunray" and then being happy she's back and remembers the past and shit. But instead it's brushed over in one sentence.
Overall it just feels like someone read the Anon-A-Miss issue, felt really bad for Sunset and wrote this so their self insert could protect her.
IDK. I really don't wanna shit on ya but I just can't keep reading.
im likeing this so far and am interested to see more
Awesome story! Really enjoying it. Added to my read list.
10579138
I feel like the more oc are added that have at least know sunset when she was 4 or 3 years old might be a good idea heck give her older brother a best friend who wears a face mask for fun, like Rindo from the upcoming NEO: The World Ends With You, heck add an oc that looks like Rindo but is friends with Helios.
fingers crossed sunshines mom ruins rarity in the fashion world.
10 internet cookies that the family Twilight and the Princesses are visiting in Ariba is that worlds sunny and her family.
I like the concept lots.
But...
I couldn't read past a few sentences. You have not capitalized words you should. You have capitalized words that you shouldn't. Signs like that cause me to skip a fic. Sorry.
10578948
Yeah, but records of a dead girl? That's gonna be questionable in Sunset/Sunray's father's police force as well as the hospitals and even the higher ups, even possibly Principal Cinch.
It would raise some red flags.
Ever heard of the phrase, 'Dead Man Walking' my friend?
Yeah, it's gonna be like that.
People seeing a claimed dead girl who had gone missing and was kidnapped who years later would have her case ended as victim and missing person deceased if not found. But also found and deceased.
Seeing her alive would spark conspiracy theories from theorists as well as lawyers and other people.
It would be like, "The Disappearance of Madeleine Mccann" case. In a sense. I do hope poor Maddie is found. I still have the hope that she's alive and somewhere safe, there's always hope, you just gotta believe in it.
The concept is pretty good, Sunsets always seemed more human than pony, but it feels like your rushing the progression with Honey finding anon-a-miss so fast and while Helios's aggressive nature could be fear of losing her again I think you need to work on the connection between Sunset and her family since they've been separated 12 years... Also work on your grammar I like stories like this and their aren't many using this concept so ill be adding this to my read list and keeping up with it. Oh and this is just personal opinion but I've always thought that Flash and Sunset kinda clash... honestly I think Sunset meshes with characters like Wallflower, Twilight or Fluttershy better, y'know the shy type what with her overpowering presence... She's that girl you can't help but notice.
10611344
He'll think of something.
10611756
But still!, imagine the shock of seeing a claimed deceased woman walking around alive.
It's questionable.
10611764
Well in the real world that would be the case but this story isn't in the real world now is it?
10611808
I know, and agreed. But it's still the same situation.
10611917
It's not really questionable when the only reason she was declared deceased is due to missing persons protocols instead of actual proof/evidence.
10613127
Exactly, but if she's found alive, the government and press as well as the police force will want to know where she was taken and by whom.
Sorry for going too deep into this, I'm training to get into the police force in my state(CA)
10613375
It's alright but could you please stop? all this police and law is making my brain hurt and preventing me from continuing?
Her dad Flame Heart is a cop right? That could mean big trouble for Anon-A-Miss.
10614230
well they are Minors so arrest really isn't an option.
10614263
If arrest were an option it would be the least of their troubles.
Come on you have to finish the story.
Nice story, I think you can forgive them but not be your friend, that should be earned with effort and time. On the other hand, it would be nice to see how Twilight and Celestia react to the Sunset / Sunray in their world.
Wow this story is very interesting! Can't wait for more chapters to come so that I can continue reading it!
Why the heck is it alway the great ones that has stopped updating PLEASE 😭🙏 PLEASE CONTINUE THIS!
... more?
10614263
Haven't you heard about a Youth Detection Center?
10654234
Well I don't really want my story to go that far.
10654301
Oh! Well, I seen other Anon-A-Miss Stories already punished the CMC with Jail Time. Because, Cyber Bullying is terrible, and illegal. Plus, don't get started with the nasty suicides. 😓
10578788
I like that middle choice best. Even more fun if Sunset starts using her birth name exclusively to the confusion of everyone else.
10611344
That's not how missing person cases work. They never assume the person is dead without some strong evidence to suggest that it's a possibility. All her father has to do is notify the appropriate authorities that his daughter has been found. The downside is that people are going to want to interview her.
Loving the story.
Also, it wouldn't hurt to have someone do proofreading for you.
Then again, it's such a nice story I don't care. Hope you are doing alright.