• Member Since 25th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday


"You are not alone!" is the greatest lie you can hear.


Getting back from a business trip, Twilight Velvet decides to stop by Ponyville to finally tour Twilight's castle and maybe nag her about having a foal again. Family secrets, sexual innuendos, and Twilight murdering someone were not on her list...


Cover based on the images from:

Proofread by Ginger and Grammarly :duck:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

God I love these stories. James is just so much fun!

James is would probably trademark the "totally worth it" phase with his fun.

This story was crazy, nutty, funny, and crazy. I like it!



Glad you all liked it. Too bad it's not getting as much traction as I hoped it would... :unsuresweetie:

I blame the title for catching my interest, but I read it through anyways so I'll pad your stats.

This was a wild ride from start to finish and I don't want to get off!



I get you didn't like it, then :unsuresweetie:?


Glad somebody enjoyed the damn thing :twilightsmile:

This is going on my Gut Busters shelf! Made me laugh so hard I almost dropped my French Silk pie!

Well this was retarded.

I love these so much, your sense of humor just hits me.
Your version of the characters is so hard to remove from my head canon :rainbowlaugh:



Had to Google how French Silk pie looks like... and now I want one :raritycry: Glad you enjoyed it, though :twilightsmile:


In a good or bad way :unsuresweetie:?


My goal is to corrupt as many people as possible, glad to know it's working :pinkiecrazy: Although, judging by the fact that all my other stories just earned a unified downvote over the last hour, someone certainly doesn't like my humor. Hrmph, rude :duck:

I didn't dislike it if that means anything, it was well written, funny, and has a catchy title that lured me in. Its just not something I'm used to reading on the regular, so all in all you did a great job. I didn't mean to sound negative in my previous comment.



No problem, I understand, I was just a bit confused, that's all :twilightsmile:

I only got one word for you...

HILARIOUS :rainbowlaugh:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what have I read-:raritycry:curse my no longer innocent eyes

“If your stallion is getting a little droopy lately, I can give you some pills with mycoxafloppin to sharpen his woody.” Velvet rolled her eyes. “Hey, I’m serious! Those pills do wonders! Just ask Twilight.”

Did you seriously just make ED into a fucking pun?
I can't stop laughing.



Always happy to make someone happy :twilightsmile:


Good, good! That's the lewd side talking. Let it flow through you :pinkiecrazy:


... ke :rainbowhuh:?


No :ajbemused:! ... I turned ED med into a pun - completely different :ajsmug: Not that it changes the fact that after helping 'write' all these books, poor Night Light probably needs a little 'pick me up' :rainbowdetermined2:



I'm afraid that after reading that story, the seed of lewdness is already planted - the corruption has begun! Enjoy being normal, while you can, because it won't last :trollestia:

... seriously though. I'm getting paid for each corrupted head, so get corrupted... pretty please :unsuresweetie:?

What the hell did I just read..? :rainbowlaugh:

Can James shoot one of the alicorns.

This was golden. I love the allusion to the comic, btw.

Holy Flank I'm dying, thanks for the realization.

Oh and Huk? Bonus question: Has Night Light read Saucy Saddles' works?



Hopefully, a story that made your day a litter brighter :twilightsmile: (and corrupted your soul with lewd thoughts, but let's not dwell on such minutia).


Can he? If the plot needs it, sure! But what purpose would it serve (aside from asking for a very brutal suicide) :unsuresweetie:?


This was golden. I love the allusion to the comic, btw.

Um... where :rainbowderp:? I don't think I put any on purpose (then again, that story has been on my drive for months, so maybe I did and just don't remember).

Oh and Huk? Bonus question: Has Night Light read Saucy Saddles' works?

Oh, I'm sure he's reading them to tuck Velvet to sleep... if you know what I mean :trollestia:

Jokes aside, a day or two after I wrote this, I envisioned a scene - for a more serious story - with James asking Night Light about it. Night Light would admit he's not really into that stuff and only do it to make Velvet happy (not that he's complaining DURING the... procedure :rainbowdetermined2:). James would be quite shocked by his commandment (and for the fact that a guy could actually not want to f*ck in public like a wild animal).

Judging by how they portrayed them both in 'Once Upon a Zeppelin' - Velvet as a wild, and Night Light as a more calm person, I think that's pretty likely. The sacrifices the poor station have to make :unsuresweetie:

Well it certainly gave me a good few chuckles, that's for sure!

As for that whole corruption thing... Oh, you sweet summer child. I've been writing erotica for more than a decade by now. A bit of saucy comedy like this does nothing to the state of my soul :pinkiecrazy:

I liked this one :)


Just then, Velvet’s saddlebag connected with James’ chin once again, lunching him to the air.


“Really?!” Velvet said, high as a kite. “Could I pick the coat, eyes, mane color, and exact specie? I always wanted a nice fluffy azure pegasus!”


“And the... almost getting cough part?”


then glowing-hot energy blasts struct James


Velvet chuckled yet again–calmly, coolly, totally unphased by James’ comment.


This story is just... this is fucking bullshit.

I love it :pinkiecrazy:

This is probably the first time I've read a story that made me grin from start to finish. The amount of bullshittery in here is FUCKING AWESOME :pinkiecrazy:

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