Chapter 15: Throw Away Your Mask
Mist stared blankly at the Dream Weaver the doctors had called in to assess her once she woke up. She had been moved to a small office for the conversation and she adjusted to sit more comfortably in her chair.
"...You want me to talk to someone about the dream?" she asked, skeptical as the unicorn mare garbed in blue and silver robes nodded.
"The damage to both your leylines and mana wellspring are minimal, but dream magic can often have lingering effects on one's mental state," the mare replied. "The doctors also picked up traces of despairium in your system, and truth be told, you are baffling."
"The despairium is perfectly stable." Mist said curtly.
"And therein lies the confusion, despairium is normally toxic to ponies, yet your body seemed to have adapted to it," the dream magic specialist said. "Which is why I want you to find someone to confide in, even experienced dream walkers need a way to process what they see while under the waters of the lake. Be it by telling a trusted confidant, writing it down in a journal, some even take up painting. Ignoring it will only come back to bite you."
She was irritated, Mist felt like scoffing and proclaiming that she wasn't an idiot, she knew that. But her instinct was to ignore, to run and never look back. Always looking for a distraction, the next thing to focus on. She ran a hoof through her mane and sighed.
"I'll see what I can do."
"And that is all I ask," the dream weaver replied with a smile. "If anything else comes up, please don't hesitate to seek assistance."
"Yeah..." Mist said and left the office.
She walked out to find Right waiting for her in the hallway, her jacket draped over his arm. She fell in step beside him.
"Reg went ahead with the changeling girl, asked me to make sure you got back to airship in one piece," he clarified. She grunted and he looked at her, concerned. "What's the verdict?"
"Physically I'm fine, I just need to ease up on magic use for the next week or so to give my leylines and wellspring time to fully recover," She explained, launching into a longer explanation once Right motioned to continue. "Leylines, simply put are like the circulatory system, but with magic. They carry magic to key areas of the body, which varies based on species. A wellspring is a magical race's natural source of magic that is connected to the leylines. In pegasi, leylines are in the chest, back and wings and the wellspring is near the esophagus in the middle of the chest above the stomach."
"I also need to process the dream, apparently," Mist added with an eyeroll. "Dunno what to do about that really, It's not like anyone is interested in my bullshit."
Right was quiet, thoughtful as they walked. The silence was a blessing, it allowed Mist to think, to let her mind wander. Irritation still itched away at her and the longer she ruminated on it, the more stressed she became. She didn't do feelings and the fact she had adapted to magic born from suffering, from hopelessness, went to show just much she was used to running from her problems. A small part of her, one that she thought had all but died while she was in the all-consuming grip of monochrome syndrome, wanted to. She wanted to share her thoughts, her feelings, with someone.
She wanted to find someone she could she trust without a doubt, someone that she knew it was okay to be vulnerable and emotional around. But there was still that instinct, that innate reaction to the thought that made her want to shove the idea back into the depths and never address it again.
She didn't notice Right watching her, too lost in her own thoughts as they exited the palace and headed to where their carriage waited for them. He brushed up against her and she looked over to her left to look at him, pulled out of her thoughts.
"What's up?" she asked.
"What happened in the dream?" he asked. "Seems like it's a big deal to you."
"It's nothing-"
"That's a load of bull an' you know it."
The conversation halted as they clambered into the same carriage that bought them to city. Right taking a seat next to her on her left, knowing she was more used to looking over in that direction to compensate for her blind eye. He raised a brow at her.
Her words were caught in her throat. She frowned, struggling to find a way to voice her thoughts as her best friend waited patiently. She'd never had this problem with him before as they would talk about everything and anything when the mood struck them. They could spend hours swapping stories, talking about the goings-on around the ship, about how worried both of them were about Reginald's tendency to overwork himself. They could just as easily spend hours in companionable silence as they did their own thing and pursued their own interests.
It was why she valued her friendship with him so much.
She was getting frustrated with herself. It lit a spiteful flame within her as she stared the interior of the carriage, not really seeing it and rather just using the opportunity as something to look at as her attention was focused inward.
She began to explain as she tried to keep a lid on her emotions. "The little things are easy to talk about. The big things? I don't want to... get in trouble..." she said reluctantly said. "I know, I'm a grown arse mare and I'm worried I'm going to get told off or yelled at or something if I so much as get too angry or excited or upset. Especially if I get upset."
It was like a damn had broken. Right listened as patient as ever as the stream of words continued. "I'm a merc, I don't- I can't be weak like that! No one wants to hear it so I should keep to myself because everyone has enough on their plate and doesn't want to hear about my problems."
"You should jus' sit down, shut up, an' do your job yeah?" Right spoke up softly.
Mist blinked at him. "Yeah..." she wilted, her ears dropped and it was harder and harder to push aside the stress and the pounding headache that was quickly taking shape. Her eyes stung, her throat constricted, and she stiffened as Right carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"It's okay," he said reassuringly. "Everything's goin' to be alright."
He spoke as if it were fact, his gesture of affection a unspoken invitation and Mist wrestled with the alien concept of being the one to receive comfort as opposed to giving it. A second of apprehension melted into acceptance as for the first time in a very long time....
Lillian Meadows was a mare that had been through far too much for one so young, and finally let it show as she became an ugly, sobbing mess. Her wings clenched at her sides as tears ran down her cheeks and she leaned into her friend's side, his presence the only grounding force amidst the sorrow.
Once she had calmed down they sat silently for a time, Mist too drained to do much else but lean into Right's side and Right content to let her do so. As the silence stretched on Right looked at her.
"I told you how I joined the clan yeah?" he asked and she nodded, blinking up at him. He hummed. "...After Reg's parents passed away, Reg an' I were shuffled around different divisions of the clan. He went to the airship division an' I was put to work in security."
"The only reason I got as high a rank there as I was so I could get back to Reg, an' Terrence, the piece of shit he was, 'ad a very different idea of what a Toppat Enforcer should be," He continued. "We were all jus' dumb muscle to 'im, expendable bullet sponges. Half the clan followed his example in the hopes of stayin' on his good side... the rest were too scared to do anything."
"So...you're not the only one that has trouble with... feelings," Right finished, looking away in embarrassment. "I'm not approachable like Reg is, an' bein' a people person isn't my nature but... I'm here if you ever want to talk 'bout anythin'."
Mist's voice was quiet and filled with gratitude when she spoke. "Thanks..." uncertainty flickered across her features. "...I'm not sure where to start."
She exhaled through her nose, sagging slightly before she composed herself. "A little over a year ago, I had just got done retrieving a relic that had been stolen from the pony tribe native to the Tenochtitlan Basin in the Forbidden Jungle. The Guardian Creature, the I guess you could say the lord of the area, offered me a reward for my years of service to the people..."
She smiled ruefully. "He was going to give me one of their Sacred Treasures, me... It all went to shit later that night. I had a really painful bout of acid reflux on the way back from claiming the treasure, it got so bad I couldn't move, and that's when an intrepid explorer found me." Mist's face twisted into a frown, her voice harsh. "We'd crossed paths before, she'd seen the big ceremony Ahuizotl put on earlier that day and that, that insensitive prick stole my treasure from me, and left me there!"
"And the kicker is she thinks she's in the right! She doesn't care that she's disturbing millennia of history, never mind the fact that there are people who still live there! She waltzes in, robs a temple or tomb, usually wrecks the places in the process and wanders off like it's a good thing!" Mist ranted. "If we run into her, I'm kicking her arse!"
"Will you now?" Right drawled. He was admittedly impressed by the way she got progressively more animated and lively the more she expressed her disdain towards this explorer. He would, under no circumstances, ever admit that he found it cute.
His comment seemed to ground her. She deflated, her anger leaving her. "Okay, well no... but I'd yell at her an' call her dumb an' stuff..." Mist fiddled with a loose strand of her mane that fell in front of her face. "I couldn't work after that, lost a scary amount of weight, moved out to Florenway to have easier access to the meds I needed, and that was it... I was rutting useless, and sometimes I still feel like that, that I'm nothing but a burden on you, on Reg an' the rest of the clan."
Right raised a brow at her. "We wouldn't be where we are now without you."
"I know, I just can't help it, ya know?" she asked and he nodded. "There's stuff I wanna talk about but I never do 'cause I feel like I'm just being a bother, or no one wants to hear it..."
Right gestured for her to continue and watched as she faltered.
"I'm not sure how to word it..." she admitted. "But, I wanna get the word out there, about being demi. I want to share what that means to me, educate others on the topic, and maybe find others who can relate."
"Could probably teach the crew a thing or two." Right suggested with a smirk.
"Maybe... I'm not an expert though, the most I could do is parrot what I learned, and try to explain the little things I've realized since then. It's not much but it's all can do. It's not like I have any experience with relationships and whatnot," Mist said and shrugged. "Something to worry about later, I guess."
Their conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride back.
Reginald observed Right and Mist as they trudged into the bridge. The Toppat Chief stood by the pilots seat and noted that though they looked exhausted, there was a sense of calm around the two of them. Of course, he knew Right hadn't taken a proper break in years, always ready to spring into action, and Mist would run herself into the ground if he let her. And now Reginald had the perfect opportunity to get his two most stubborn clanmates to get some much needed rest.
"You two have the next three days off," he stated and smirked at the identical looks his Right Hand and First Pony gave him. He was rather pleased with himself. "You two are still recovering, and given that it will take a week to reach out next target, I want to ensure the two of you are well rested and back in shape for the next mission."
"But Sir? What about Ocellus?" Mist asked. "I should be helping her settle, introduce her to the crew-"
"Already taken care of, Ocellus is now a Junior Toppat under Slice's supervision. I do expect you to brief the crew on what you know about changelings once you have fully recovered, and not a moment sooner." Reginald said with a knowing look at the pegasus.
"We headed to the jungle then?" Right asked and The Chief nodded.
"You two will take a small entourage with you to negotiate with the locals, we need a ground base if we're to truly make any headway beyond jewelry store robberies."
"An' who's going to make sure you don' overwork yourself while we're off work?" Right drawled, raising a brow at him. "Three days is a long time for me to be sittin' around doin' fuck all Reg..."
Reginald sighed. "I'm not going anywhere Right, I'm not the one who was injured... Surely you can handle three days of free time?"
He saw Mist nudge Right. "Hey, we could work on the thing I told you about, that's not work."
Right considered it and nodded. "Suppose so."
"A pet project?" Reginald asked, intrigued.
"Kinda?" Mist replied, uncertain. "Just a thing I feel is important..."
Reginald dismissed them not long after, wishing them luck, and reminding them to actually focus on rest and recovery during their time off. He moved over to his chair and sunk into with a relieved sigh. He'd been worried sick about them. He was aware he had no room to talk when it came to his own work ethic, but he worked as hard as he did to ensure the clan ran smoothly, that his clanmates, his family, would want for nothing and would never have to live in fear again.
It was what he'd sworn to do the moment he became Chief, bring the clan back from the dark age Terrence had thrown it into, and reinstate the ideals from the clan's glory days. And Right had been by his side through it all, he couldn't ask for a better friend.
He adjusted his hats as he deactivated the airship's autopilot with the press of a button. He had a long flight ahead of him.
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And now I wanna hug mist and reg and probably be the crazy guy to break onto the airship for the sole reason hugging random members for fun
10669600
Same.
10669615
Well that’s upto you if ya ever want to do a filler fluff chapter
10669677
I have a sort of filler chapter already in mind, more along the lines of slice-of-life airship stuff (see the most recent blog linked in the authors notes of Chapter 15)
10669690
I saw tbh I got no idea what I’d ask and I’d probably make a bad pun joke on if she was a god would she be a demigod
10669693
lol.
10669698
Thank you I try
10669698
Also if I didn’t suck at art I’d so offer to draw mist hugging reg and right
10669712
Art is still art. If I had more confidence, I'd draw a human/stick version of Mist.
10669721
That would be cute
...
That "intrepid explorer" was Daring Do, wasn't it?
10669886
Yes.
10669773
?
10669904 Thought so. Although I imagine Daring Do would tell the story of the encounter a lot differently.
10670442
Yup, but that's the fun part about this, in any other story, Mist and the Toppats would be the antagonists.
A Henry....Stickman crossover...... never expected to see this..... Faved, liked, and watched you got all my attention
10695738
Thank you!
huzzah i have re found you i forgot the original name of the story so i'm gonna re read this story because i really liked it