• Member Since 24th Oct, 2019
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago


I am but a simple brony who loves everything My little pony FIM

Comments ( 24 )

And as Alternate, alternate Ending... Shining take Flurry Heart to the room who using her baby cuteness powers manage to identify the real one and because the baby is there they are forced to change plans

Ooh boy! Those content warnings are promising~!

Nice but kinda meh... :duck:
To cheesey solution, still very MLP :raritywink:

This story was far too painful to finish reading. The grammar is atrocious to the point of hurting to read.

Eh. Even with a better ending, the premise still infuriates me. I was hoping there'd be some sort of callout related to that, but eh.
It was a nice ending, and I enjoyed the antics, but it feels a little unpolished.

I'll do my best to do better next time.

This is my second time writing, and I can see I have a lot to improve on with my writing and story telling.

You'll see in the next chapter:raritywink:

Absolutely terrible grammar, constant spelling mistakes, bungled execution. Just a real chore to slog through: You have a lot of work ahead if you want to start making anything decent. Start with a spellchecker, a grammatical crash-course, and somebody (who isn't your friend) to read things over in advance and point out your mistakes.


You do, but that doesn't make it hopeless.
Start with "a lot".
It's two words. Spell it as two words.

Thanks for the feedback. I needed to hear that.

This was...Painful to read.

*squints* Where have i seen this artstyle before

It's KanashiiPanda. One of the best MLP artists out there.

I was super weirded out when I found they did porn art. A lot of artists do porn art but there’s feels weird to me.

I do agree that they have great art.

Instead of doing an alternate ending you could continue the punishment of shining, but hey, good alternate ending UwU

I do have plans to do something with that.


You need to get a proofreader.

Is the story supposed to be finished?

At first, yes, but I want to do 2 more chapters.

One showing Shining Punishment for guessing wrong in the original.

Another showing his reward for guessing right here.

I guess there is not enough inspiration?

I just been busy working on other stories.

But I am trying to figure out how to go about with his punishment.

Well, I wish you luck

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