• Member Since 24th Oct, 2019
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago

Mpony1


I am but a simple brony who loves everything My little pony FIM

Comments ( 25 )

And as Alternate, alternate Ending... Shining take Flurry Heart to the room who using her baby cuteness powers manage to identify the real one and because the baby is there they are forced to change plans

Ooh boy! Those content warnings are promising~!

Nice but kinda meh... :duck:
To cheesey solution, still very MLP :raritywink:

This story was far too painful to finish reading. The grammar is atrocious to the point of hurting to read.

Eh. Even with a better ending, the premise still infuriates me. I was hoping there'd be some sort of callout related to that, but eh.
It was a nice ending, and I enjoyed the antics, but it feels a little unpolished.

10551890
I'll do my best to do better next time.

10552253
This is my second time writing, and I can see I have a lot to improve on with my writing and story telling.

10552086
You'll see in the next chapter:raritywink:

Absolutely terrible grammar, constant spelling mistakes, bungled execution. Just a real chore to slog through: You have a lot of work ahead if you want to start making anything decent. Start with a spellchecker, a grammatical crash-course, and somebody (who isn't your friend) to read things over in advance and point out your mistakes.

10552260

You do, but that doesn't make it hopeless.
Start with "a lot".
It's two words. Spell it as two words.

10552297
Thanks for the feedback. I needed to hear that.

This was...Painful to read.

*squints* Where have i seen this artstyle before

10553111
It's KanashiiPanda. One of the best MLP artists out there.

10555098
I was super weirded out when I found they did porn art. A lot of artists do porn art but there’s feels weird to me.

I do agree that they have great art.

Comment posted by Hariester deleted April 24th

You've got a ways to go, but keep trying to improve.

Your grammar needs a lot of work, please focus on this because bad grammar can make an otherwise good story turn into a complete slog to read through and parse.

Instead of doing an alternate ending you could continue the punishment of shining, but hey, good alternate ending UwU

10676280
I do have plans to do something with that.

ok, I'll wait for you to make them known then

Comment posted by Mathias_Soul deleted February 14th
MOW

10552375
You need to get a proofreader.

Wow! Shining Armor will need a medical exam after this, banging three mares in one week, std might kick in..........maybe redheart can check him out😉

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