• Member Since 20th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Azure Drache


Now with Patreon Also I have a Discord Server: https://discord.gg/rSkrqZgz

Comments ( 18 )

Intersting dream and a way to start a story.

10528456
Thank you:twilightsmile:

Normally I am not so fond of starting a story with a dream, it is very tricky and if the reader finds out too fast, it bores them. Though, it seemed the only natural way to let this story start with an adventure scene which fits for Fiery's POV.:derpytongue2:

10528462
You're welcome, fair enough.

A recurring dream... Hmmm, that is very interesting. And where does one get an army of Kirins? :trixieshiftleft:

The dragon family dynamics was interesting as well! Like that Fiery was having to protect her Bat Pony lover from her father and brother.

Looking forward to seeing how this pans out.

And the call has come... the dice are rolling. Does Fortune and Glory await our favorite Kirin? Or does disaster loom ahead? :rainbowdetermined2:

Stay tuned, same Kirin time, same Kirin channel!

:moustache:
On a more serious note, I did find it slightly hard to keep track of character during the dialogue there. Rushed in a lot of them entering? Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this chapter. Good stuff.

10645448
Not even the gods know how this will end:derpytongue2:

*

I am happy you enjoyed the chapter, though, can you point out which dialogs you found confusing maybe? I am sure my editor and I can fix that spots then:raritywink:

10645650
When Oma and Opa came in, just a whole of characters started talking at once and I had trouble keeping track of who was who until I remembered from the last story. Sorry I can't be more descriptive than that.

10648487
Updated the chapter, I hope the scene you found confusing is fine now:twilightsmile:

Also thanks again for your feedback! Only with it, I am able to improve my stories! :pinkiehappy:

10651372
Flowed a bit better from my perspective, a quick introduction of each character as they started speaking helped me keep track of who was who. Good stuff. :moustache:

10651491
Glad to hear that:twilightsmile: If you notice any other problem in the future, or think something can be improved, please let me know:twistnerd:

Well, this was a very interesting chapter... and raises some horrifying morality questions of how much power Fiery has over other Kirins. Geeze... Autumn was throwing herself at her to be a slave!

I enjoyed this chapter though, though the plot is a bit slow to advance at the moment. :moustache:

10796796
Thank you very much for your feedback again!:pinkiehappy:

Yeah, that is part of her story, how does she deal with this power? And how will this affect her interaction with other kirins in the future, exspecial, azure kirins? I hope to make that stuff interesting for you:twilightsmile:

And yes I am aware it develops a bit slow, thats one of the reasons it took me so long to write this, there is a loit fo lore and backgroud stuff to establish, not to mention that a lot of characters are involved right from the start. I never had planned to be 3 chapters alone in the lair:rainbowlaugh: I do my best to increase the speed the plot devlops with:eeyup:

Brilliant new chapter

The Adventure of Fiery

The adventures of fiery what?

Well well well, isn't this an interesting development? I always found the Greek Pantheon's habits of fucking with mortals very entertaining.

And this talk of rules they have to follow... Curious. And the picture, they are all Kirin themselves? Very interesting.

Plus what Ares said about the power of the Kirin Empire!

Very good chapter for developing the story and adding more intrigue.

10865601
Thank you very much again, I am glad you like it:pinkiehappy:

Also, as a little sneak peek, I was able to sneak a few informations about The Roof Of The World in the next chapter so far. :raritywink:

Login or register to comment