Decaf
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... Well, that was a thing. All I got from Twilight's rambling was Celestia vanished, and literally, nopony knows why or where to. And that Twilight found it 300 years after Sunbutt vanished (oh and that Luna is being a bitch to her, for some reason).
Or maybe I missed something. Rambling tends to do that.
Huh. That was... Y'know, I'm not really sure how to describe this.
I mean, I really liked it, but I can't shake the feeling I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. Perhaps that was by design, but either way, this story left me with a disconcerting sense of incompleteness — an unease exacerbated by the mysterious natures of Celestia's disappearance and Twilight's vague catastrophe. There's something here I feel you expected me to get, and yet I'm just not getting it.
That being said, by this point I'm just rambling. At the end of the day, my compliments must go to the author. You've certainly given me something worth pondering, that's for sure.
:)
I liked this story a lot.
It's different from most of the fimfics I see around here.
The Relatively Trivial Comments
Now you have me wondering if this is true, and if you've ever read about such studies.
classified.
plane.
Something Nontrivial
You done good. I don't know how many people will ever know it.
Of course, next week I might change my mind. I can only speak for my own self, right here, right now. That's the way life is, isn't it?
That was lovely. Thank you for it.
I liked this story - there's a number of macguffins, but they're there in my mind so that they don't distract from the theme of the story - that rulership is hard.
This is incredible. Thank you very much.
That is all I have to say.
I love the vibe of this. I can't explain it but maybe I'll understand in the future.
Wonderful little story! Love the concept!
Any thoughts on what, exactly, the Very Bad Thing that Twilight did was? I know you're trying to keep it mysterious, but you definitely piques my curiosity.
10517784
If I may: it appears that Twilight has just done something heinously evil, though she only hints at the event itself (which, she says, is why Luna is being b!tchy to her). Reading Celestia's book has helped her to make peace with the guilt, etc., that she feels, because she realizes that Celestia has felt that same way, too (after her banishment of Luna).
and weather she regrets them => and whether she regrets them.
Fascinating. I've said more than once that some one-shots read like the first or last chapter of the larger story. Here, we actually have the last portion of a larger story that still feels complete in itself. You say quite a lot through hints, excerpts, and subtext, and the overall effect is brilliant. Twilight is only somewhat more coherent than Celestia, sorting through her thoughts and regrets and presenting the conclusions only after thinking back on her mentor doing the same. Great work.
Also, "The sun hung in the sky like a sack of peanuts" has no right being as powerful as it is.
10518611
Consider how Celestia's living memory is contained entirely in Twilight and Luna at the time of writing. Then consider who's missing from that list.
It may not have anything to do with Twilight's atrocity, but it makes you wonder...
That was really interesting, and it only hit me after Twilight said about her having done something terrible (which I really wanna know about but not know at the same time). It’s a mood that only a very specific person could understand. I could hear Twilight’s voice in every work, and it hit hard in all the right places
Very nice work, well done
Interesting, it left me wanting to know more about what was going on when it was being written both for Celestia and Twilight. It is the sort of text I would expect to find in an open-world video game when trying to work out what happened in the past.
10518892
So we have an.... Afterword?
I noticed that too.
All good books (all good things written in words) deserve a second reading.
This is my second time reading through this story, the first time was this mourning, and this wont be my last time; perhaps not my last time this week.
Oh, to use words and touch the soul of another human.
10518611
Yeah, as far as I can tell there are no clues about what she did except for "worse then sending your sister to the moon." Maybe the author doesn't even know. Either way, as readers we can only speculate. There is not much that is worse then sending someone to the moon. Death comes to mind. And there is one character I can see still being around that might propose a threat big enough to warrant this. Although you'd expect Twilight to be a lot more heartbroken about it.
Of course it could be many things. Legislation for example.
That final paragraph though... Celestia has done something she always regretted. Even though that has been resolved, she now disappeared. Celestia has disappeared. What is the burden Twilight is mentioning? Just the question of what to do with this book? That makes sense for Twilight and whomever finds the book after her. But I feel it makes less sense for Celestia. the reason why its so difficult is that Twilight can't ask Celestia if she would be ok with publishing or not. Same would go for whomever find the book next. But Celestia obviously doesn't have that problem.
If the burden is referring to Celestia banning her sister and whatever Twilight did, is moving forward referring to Celestia disappearing? That would mean Twilight is also planning to disappear. And she expect her student to at one point be in the same boat and tells her student she has no doubt she can do it too? That raises a whole bunch of other questions.
Probably thinking to hard about this, but meh.
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Thank you for pointing out those errors. I have just fixed them.
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Thanks for catching this.
Thank you all for reading, and a special thanks to everyone who left a comment. I enjoyed hearing what you all had to say. This story is much more successful than I ever thought it would be, and I want you to know that I don't take a single view for granted. I cannot overstate how grateful I am to everyone who chose to spend their time reading this. It means a lot to me.
Laughably out of character.
Really glad I gave this a chance, it's a superb think piece.
10517814
I feel like everything you described is exactly what the author meant, for I feel identically.
Man this is difficult to digest. I feel for Twilight... A kind of depressive existential dread that has no possibility of a happy ending for her, Luna, Celestia, or Twilight's successor.
I do not know what this is, yet I feel compelled to upvote.
This little excerpt is a roller coaster form start to finish.
The fact that this is the equivalent of a random page torn out of a book, I have never been more enthralled to decipher more about the story around it from the very little details given. Truly, my head is spinning from all the subtle hints and assumptions that are made in the passage that I, as the reader, should know and understand.
The fact that Twilight apparently does some unspeakable evil, that Celestia is missing/gone away, that maybe Twilight has now joined Celestia and you have stumbled upon this book of meandering thoughts. Wouldn't it be cool to get some answers to those questions? Nah, who needs answers after a book of only questions is given?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Overall, I feel this story is very similar to writing a scary story with only two sentences. Short but it leaves me wondering for days.
10/10 would read again.
There's almost a faint undercurrent of light horror to this. Beautiful way of making the story feel like it's speaking from the dust.
You can has review!
Hello, a review to your story has been posted. I hope you find it helpful.
I loved this so much. I will also say that...it interests me that none in the refelection's of the text. (Twilight) thought say...raise the sun automatically. And are the star's real stars? So bring them out to automatically.
This not in actually knock on what I read. But More so about the greater imagining of the character(s). Alicornship only sells martyred and belief and commitment that ponies can not lead themselves. (They can be fine folk's indvidually)
This at the root of the woe that is alicorn fates ruling over these silly goober's. But I would say that folk's just in real life can get their eventually. So I suppose having it never brought up at all read's to me to think it is a unquestioned system. And they equally so lack a imagination to break out of the cycle of rulership and ruled.
Or is just allowed that one can do get great evil and get away with it? Or do all just assume it is tactical evil but whos to...this is truly evil?
I think story is also about first impression's and if you say hated celestia or loved her. This would be interesting not just as a narratively amazing story. Then their comes how folk's see Twilight?
Both what she did with the book and what she did? Is not what you based just as what you can imagine as what you are willing to allow yourself to imagine? Especially as someone who likes the character?
ooh, this is a good categorization system, much like Celestia, and feels vaguely Borgesian
a very cool line
i swear, i've seen a scene-setting opening like this a million times before, and it's ripe for a subversion by the in-story Celestia. and somehow it summarizes the feeling of the paragraphs following it in just one sentence, given what the reader knows and assumes about Celestia at this point of her life. very interesting!
this brings to mine something interesting i heard on a podcast about "hyperrealistic" autobiographical memoirs (analogizing from hyperrealistic paintings, not Baudrillard). that it seems relatively "straightforward" to write about extremely mundane events in one's life in excruciating detail. but to get to the level of detail where it feels that thoroughly realistic and mundane would require invention, because one cannot actually remember any particular scene or event without losing such details along the way. and so, what is the distinction between fiction and biography?
there's also the idea from the field of historical criticism that "history" is conjectures about the past that can be backed up by evidence. it' sa fascinating interaction
and Twilight does not see the metafictional beauty in Celestia portraying the act of finding a simile for an aspect of the world she does not care for, without much care? this is true art, and it pains me to see you depict her as such a fillystine. very out of character, literally unreadable (actually fairly in-character much to my chagrin)
ah Twilight, why can't a diary be written according to the conventions of prose? especially when one is trying to be all poetic and art about it like Celestia clearly is
haha, i love this paragraph! Celestia is a very fun writer, i like her style
aww, a telling sign that Twilight is imposing her own previously existing interpretation of Celestia onto the text instead of letting it speak for itself. what is she, [INSERT COMMENTER YOU WANT TO JUST DUNK ON RIGHT NOW]?
same
dangit now i really want to read the sentence! and also the book!
aww, and i am sure that she will in due time
ooh, from context i don't think Twilight is this long into her reign so this seems to be more a statement that only a few ponies from the modern era ever really got to know her behind the throne
and the fact that it was replaced with the stained glass windows of various royalty-relevant events, this makes said window into a self-reflective symbol of the monarchy that closes it back onto itself instead of serving as a point of connection between the inside of the Palace and the outside world. great symbolism, very nice!
ah, so i guess i was wrong about earlier! that is quite a bit of time to pass for Twilight's own long experience with the burden of readership, the loss the mortal ponies she knew, and the ennui to not color her own interpretation of Celestia's works
in a way it is a blend of all three of the categories that the story starts by delineating, not meant to be "useful" to those who do not bear the burden of being the immortal Sovereign of Equestria
and her having been the sister who was sent to the moon speaks a lot about the gravity of this undescribed event
so very Twilight Sparkle, and i am the same way about such moments
a beautiful way to think of the act of reading another's creation, and a feeling that i agree with myself as a writer. both i and the site are still quite active, but one day it won't be thus, and the same could be said of any piece of writing, up to and including the classics of literature on a long enough timescale. and in this age we have access to so many dead words a million lifetimes of reading is not enough to give them the momentary spark of life that would honor their creators
it's funny that the story begins with Twilight expressing frustration that Celestia's work lacks a narration or consistent style or overall discernible purpose, and ends with Twilight imposing a distinct purpose onto it, and re-enacting said purpose in her own direct message to her successor. and that actually fits the contrast in personalities between Celestia and Twilight perfectly!
in any case, excellent work. very Literature, which is something i always want to see more of