Rick, a very enthusiastic human, meets Twilight, a curious pony who wants to know his name.
Rick isn't having any of it.
A shitpost written in a hour. Will be updated semi-regularly to springboard me into writing actively. Criticism appreciated, except from Mike White, because he's above this story.
Edited and inspired by FamousLastWords.
Now with an audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio! (Currently CH1 & First part of CH2)
no habla español
Like this comment if you don't support racism.
☞︎◆︎♍︎🙵 ⍓︎□︎◆︎📪︎ 👍︎◆︎❒︎●︎⍓︎ ☞︎❒︎⍓︎
10511851
i.gyazo.com/8c0bc4a4bb318b87e4086b3283ef7921.png
It's in light mode, chief. I cannot do a disservice to the master of light mode writing. Wait a minute, you said white mode you fucker.
10511856
✌︎☹︎☼︎☜︎✌︎👎︎✡︎ 👎︎✋︎👎︎ 💦💦💦
10511858
ok that is good i have pove you are in lightmode so i can read sotry. pls give me a dad or two before i can provide a prooper response
10511861
Shit, uh
This story is why my father died. I think I'm ready to forgive him now...
10511859
ok that is good i have pove you are in lightmode so i can read sotry. pls give me a dad or two before i can provide a prooper response
10511862
Nice job.
10511859
☝︎□︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♒︎□︎❒︎■︎⍓︎ 🙰♋︎♓︎●︎
I only need one wingding for this story
🖕
10511861
Hey man, don't make fun of other people's lack of intelligence by mocking them.
10511870
I know you're racist, but that doesn't give you a right to exist.
10511872
I love you, too, broski.
10511861
Wow, that's just so fucking mean to do to Mike. Unbelievable. Lowest point I've seen you at, Mugg.
10511878
Muggonny is bullying me for my lack of grammar, so I'm bullying him for his knowledge of grammar.
10511878
Tell him, bro! There's no place for people like that on this site!
Check my selfie, btw:
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/011/869/internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg
10511880
Mike, I'm getting mixed signals here.
10511880
He has knowledge of grammar?
Anyway, to the story.
Stopped reading right there.
10511886
You have a reason to live?
10511878
The fact that you consider this my lowest after I did all those drugs says everything about how much you care about me.
10511888
Project Rita gave me one.
10511867
media.discordapp.net/attachments/772687851820548097/772687939100606524/Horny_Jail_meme.jpg?width=519&height=351
10511893
10511892
DAMN son, did you apply that HURT ointment firmly?
10511895
i.imgur.com/CwCUz7A.jpg
I... uh...
...
Fuck it, I'll track.
10511908
Thank you.
I found the soundtrack to this fic:
Will you check my balls for me, to make sure I'm alive?
I have a better question. Why are hands part of the Pony alphabet?
10512198
memegenerator.net/img/instances/69506890.jpg
*Paging Dr. Feghoot.*
10512198
Already on the case for that, don't you worry! Next chapter will offer some insight as to why.
10512088
It's a picture of your weiner! Ohhhh ohhh whoa!
We really love misheard lyrics, don't we?
10511887
Understandable, have a good day.
i.imgur.com/dTcAHZc.jpg
Reject alphabet, embrace hieroglyphs.
10512302
Or, y'know, wingdings
Nice read!
It's not often that the comments section is as entertaining as the story itself. Following for both.
Broski this story is s good it makes me wanna 👀🔫 myself to show how much I it!
10512426
As opposed to being more entertaining than the story? Because the alternative is that you haven't been on the site long enough to see any of the truly great shitstorms.
To be fair, astrophysics is probably easier when ponies are the ones who make a good number of the functions of nature actually work, or when stars are just things one of the ponies sticks in the sky at night.
I said, ''Do you speak my language?''
She just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich!
read blonde moments
10512198
Probably because of a pony named Lyra.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/215389f2-33a9-42fa-bffc-a013919fbd33/d6gezpq-c7cdf121-53e3-45f2-b9f9-ca5d8dfa32f2.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMjE1Mzg5ZjItMzNhOS00MmZhLWJmZmMtYTAxMzkxOWZiZDMzXC9kNmdlenBxLWM3Y2RmMTIxLTUzZTMtNDVmMi1iOWY5LWNhNWQ4ZGZhMzJmMi5wbmcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.D3ojuFAjTAJyWUNSaxmdWVsz2dK5pZRvScNtFJ7IxNQ
10512561
"and he said, I come from an land down under"
She just looked at him, confused "I thought you said you weren't a hairless diamond dog"?
10512302
Zoomers and their emojis.
Maybe we should get them working on deciphering ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.
✌︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎❍︎♋︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎
❄︎❒︎◆︎♏︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎◆︎⧫︎♒︎ ♌︎❒︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎
✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♋︎🙵♏︎ □︎■︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♐︎⧫︎
✡︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ❒︎♓︎♎︎♏︎📪︎ ♌︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎❒︎♓︎◻︎
✌︎●︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎⬧︎ ✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎
✡︎□︎◆︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♋︎⧫︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ⬧︎♒︎□︎⬥︎
🕈︎♋︎⧫︎♍︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎📪︎ ⬥︎♋︎♓︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎
👍︎□︎❍︎❍︎♓︎⬧︎♏︎❒︎♋︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☹︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎📪︎ ♍︎□︎❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
🕈︎□︎❒︎🙵 ⬧︎◆︎♍︎🙵⬧︎📪︎ ✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎
💧︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♏︎♐︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ❒︎□︎⬧︎♏︎⬧︎ ♌︎⍓︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♋︎♓︎❒︎⬧︎
💧︎◆︎❒︎◻︎❒︎♓︎⬧︎♏︎⬧︎ ●︎♏︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ ⬧︎♒︎♏︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎⬧︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
😐︎♏︎♏︎◻︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♓︎●︎●︎📪︎ ✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎❒︎♓︎●︎●︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎📪︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ●︎♓︎⧫︎⧫︎●︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎■︎♎︎❍︎♓︎●︎●︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
😐︎♏︎♏︎◻︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♓︎●︎●︎📪︎ ✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎❒︎♓︎●︎●︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
💣︎⍓︎ ●︎♓︎⧫︎⧫︎●︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎■︎♎︎❍︎♓︎●︎●︎
10512603
I can't believe this was posted lmao.
10512609
When you're a normal, everyday pony but you also fought in the Viet-ding war...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2020/9/15/2445914.jpg
10512302
Yes. That's the move!
10512404
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
10512426
This is how my story comments usually go. Some of my friends really like making sure my comment section sounds like one of the best comedy skits on the site. Thank you for the compliment, and I appreciate the follow!
10512508
B R U H 👀👀👀
10512582
I was waiting for someone to decode the message in the comments!
10512585
Tempted to use this not going to lie.