• Published 2nd Nov 2020
  • 7,862 Views, 295 Comments

Why Do You Speak My Language?! - Soaring



A human meets a horse. They both speak English... sort of.

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A Cold Heart Covered in Gold

Author's Note:

Hello again. Sorry in advance for all the wingdings lmao.

For the readers, I have put together translations for all the wingdings. For mobile users, these are going to show up as boxes, and I need to discuss with admins on how I can make this more legilable for you folks.

Anyway, translations in spoilers, numbered by when they appear.

1. Full of Rainbows
2. I︎ a︎m︎ s︎o︎r︎r︎y︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ t︎o︎ d︎e︎a︎l︎ w︎i︎t︎h︎ m︎e︎. I︎'︎m︎ u︎s︎u︎a︎l︎l︎y︎ n︎o︎t︎ l︎i︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎, b︎u︎t︎ t︎o︎d︎a︎y︎ w︎a︎s︎ t︎h︎e︎ w︎o︎r︎s︎t︎. I︎ f︎e︎l︎t︎ l︎i︎ke︎ I︎ w︎a︎s︎n︎'︎t︎ m︎e︎. I︎ w︎a︎s︎n︎'︎t︎ i︎m︎p︎o︎r︎t︎a︎n︎t︎. I︎t︎ w︎a︎s︎ a︎l︎l︎ a︎b︎o︎u︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎. I︎'︎m︎ s︎o︎r︎r︎y︎ I︎'︎m︎ je︎a︎l︎o︎u︎s︎. I︎ c︎a︎n︎'︎t︎ h︎e︎l︎p︎ i︎t︎ t︎h︎o︎u︎g︎h︎. Y︎o︎u︎ d︎o︎n︎'︎t︎ kn︎o︎w︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎, s︎o︎ I︎'︎m︎ s︎o︎r︎r︎y︎. Y︎o︎u︎'︎r︎e︎ a︎w︎e︎s︎o︎m︎e︎.
3. W︎h︎y︎ d︎o︎e︎s︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ a︎l︎w︎a︎y︎s︎ h︎a︎p︎p︎e︎n︎ t︎o︎ m︎e︎... I︎ d︎o︎n︎'︎t︎ w︎a︎n︎t︎ h︎i︎m︎ t︎o︎ h︎a︎t︎e︎ m︎e︎. P︎o︎n︎i︎e︎s︎ a︎l︎r︎e︎a︎d︎y︎ d︎o︎.
4. I︎ m︎e︎s︎s︎e︎d︎ u︎p︎ a︎g︎a︎i︎n︎.
5. The name's R︎a︎i︎n︎b︎o︎w︎ D︎a︎s︎h︎, or R︎D︎ f︎o︎r︎ s︎h︎o︎r︎t︎.
6. M︎y︎ f︎r︎i︎e︎n︎d︎s︎ a︎n︎d︎ I︎ a︎r︎e︎ E︎l︎e︎m︎e︎n︎t︎s︎ o︎f︎ H︎a︎r︎m︎o︎n︎y︎. W︎e︎ h︎e︎l︎p︎ o︎t︎h︎e︎r︎ p︎o︎n︎i︎e︎s︎
7. S︎h︎e︎'︎s︎ the P︎r︎i︎n︎c︎e︎s︎s︎ o︎f︎ F︎r︎i︎e︎n︎d︎s︎h︎i︎p︎. A︎n︎d︎ s︎h︎e︎ u︎s︎u︎a︎l︎l︎y︎ asks us to save t︎h︎e︎ r︎e︎s︎t︎ o︎f︎ E︎q︎u︎e︎s︎t︎r︎i︎a︎.
8. A︎p︎p︎l︎e︎ja︎c︎k m︎a︎ke︎s︎ m︎e︎ h︎a︎p︎p︎y︎, a︎n︎d︎ I︎ h︎o︎p︎e︎ I︎ c︎a︎n︎ m︎a︎ke︎ h︎e︎r︎ h︎a︎p︎p︎y︎ f︎o︎r︎ t︎h︎e︎ r︎e︎s︎t︎ o︎f︎ m︎y︎ l︎i︎f︎e︎.
9. t︎h︎e︎ b︎e︎s︎t︎ t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎'︎s︎ e︎v︎e︎r︎ h︎a︎p︎p︎e︎n︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ m︎e︎.
10. P︎i︎n︎ki︎e︎ P︎i︎e︎ h︎a︎s︎ h︎e︎l︎p︎e︎d︎ m︎e︎ b︎e︎c︎o︎m︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ m︎a︎r︎e︎ I︎ w︎a︎n︎t︎ t︎o︎ b︎e︎. S︎h︎e︎'︎s︎ g︎i︎v︎e︎n︎ m︎e︎ a︎d︎v︎i︎c︎e︎ o︎n︎ h︎o︎w︎ I︎ s︎h︎o︎u︎l︎d︎ h︎a︎n︎d︎l︎e︎ A︎p︎p︎l︎e︎ja︎c︎k, w︎h︎i︎l︎e︎ a︎l︎s︎o︎ b︎e︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎h︎e︎ b︎e︎s︎t︎ f︎r︎i︎e︎n︎d︎ I︎ n︎e︎e︎d︎e︎d︎ i︎n︎ l︎i︎f︎e︎. I︎'︎m︎ s︎o︎ g︎r︎a︎t︎e︎f︎u︎l︎ f︎o︎r︎ h︎e︎r︎, a︎s︎ w︎i︎t︎h︎o︎u︎t︎ h︎e︎r︎, I︎ w︎o︎u︎l︎d︎n︎'︎t︎ b︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ m︎a︎r︎e︎ I︎ a︎m︎ t︎o︎d︎a︎y︎.
11. F︎l︎u︎t︎t︎e︎r︎s︎h︎y︎ i︎s︎ t︎h︎e︎ o︎n︎l︎y︎ o︎n︎e︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ c︎o︎u︎l︎d︎ r︎e︎l︎a︎t︎e︎ t︎o︎ m︎e︎. S︎h︎e︎'︎s︎ h︎a︎d︎ m︎y︎ b︎a︎c︎k s︎i︎n︎c︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ b︎e︎g︎i︎n︎n︎i︎n︎g︎. O︎n︎e︎ o︎f︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎t︎r︎o︎n︎g︎e︎s︎t︎ p︎o︎n︎i︎e︎s︎ I︎ kn︎o︎w︎. N︎o︎ o︎n︎e︎ i︎s︎ c︎o︎o︎l︎e︎r︎ t︎h︎a︎n︎ h︎e︎r︎. W︎e︎l︎l︎, e︎x︎c︎e︎p︎t︎ A︎J︎. I︎f︎ I︎ d︎i︎d︎n︎'︎t︎ s︎a︎y︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎, s︎h︎e︎'︎d︎ p︎r︎o︎b︎a︎b︎l︎y︎ m︎a︎ke︎ m︎e︎ s︎l︎e︎e︎p︎ o︎u︎t︎s︎i︎d︎e︎ f︎o︎r︎ t︎h︎e︎ r︎e︎s︎t︎ o︎f︎ t︎h︎e︎ y︎e︎a︎r︎.
12. M︎y︎ f︎r︎i︎e︎n︎d︎ R︎a︎r︎i︎t︎y︎ w︎a︎s︎ s︎o︎m︎e︎o︎n︎e︎ w︎h︎o︎ I︎ h︎a︎d︎ t︎o︎ g︎e︎t︎ u︎s︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎. W︎h︎e︎n︎ I︎ r︎e︎a︎l︎i︎z︎e︎d︎ s︎h︎e︎ w︎a︎s︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎o︎ l︎e︎n︎d︎ o︎u︎t︎ a︎ h︎o︎o︎f︎ a︎n︎d︎ a︎ h︎o︎r︎n︎ ju︎s︎t︎ t︎o︎ h︎e︎l︎p︎ s︎o︎m︎e︎o︎n︎e︎ i︎n︎ n︎e︎e︎d︎, t︎h︎a︎t︎ w︎a︎s︎ a︎l︎l︎ I︎ n︎e︎e︎d︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ l︎o︎o︎k u︎p︎ t︎o︎ h︎e︎r︎. S︎h︎e︎ l︎o︎v︎e︎s︎ m︎a︎ki︎n︎g︎ d︎r︎e︎s︎s︎e︎s︎ f︎o︎r︎ e︎v︎e︎r︎y︎o︎n︎e︎ t︎o︎ t︎h︎e︎ p︎o︎i︎n︎t︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ s︎h︎e︎ t︎r︎i︎e︎s︎ t︎o︎ m︎a︎ke︎ m︎e︎ w︎e︎a︎r︎ t︎h︎e︎m︎. T︎h︎e︎y︎’︎r︎e︎ c︎o︎o︎l︎ s︎o︎m︎e︎t︎i︎m︎e︎s︎, b︎u︎t︎ t︎h︎e︎y︎ m︎a︎ke︎ m︎y︎ w︎i︎n︎g︎s︎ i︎t︎c︎h︎.
13. R︎i︎c︎k, c︎a︎n︎ y︎o︎u︎ h︎e︎a︎r︎ m︎e︎?
14. O︎h︎ C︎e︎l︎e︎s︎t︎i︎a︎, h︎e︎ can't hear m︎e︎! W︎h︎a︎t︎ d︎o︎ I︎ d︎o︎?!
15. I︎ n︎e︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ g︎o︎ g︎e︎t︎ T︎w︎i︎l︎i︎g︎h︎t︎! H︎e︎'︎s︎ l︎o︎o︎ki︎n︎g︎ r︎e︎a︎l︎l︎y︎ r︎e︎a︎l︎l︎y︎ p︎a︎l︎e︎. I︎ d︎o︎n︎'︎t︎ r︎e︎m︎e︎m︎b︎e︎r︎ h︎i︎m︎ l︎o︎o︎ki︎n︎g︎ l︎i︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎!

With this finally being put together, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Really appreciate all the feedback thus far!

-Soaring

“Your hint is ☞︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☼︎✌︎✋︎☠︎👌︎⚐︎🕈︎💧︎!”

Part of me wanted to really understand this, but another part of me wanted to relax, and take heed of the amount of unexplainable gurgles and grunts that Starlight made while trying to say whatever the hell she said. They played back in my head without me even pressing the play button, and my mind only drifted with it living rent free in 120 decibels. I don’t know how a horse could make such sounds, but yet again, they weren’t normal ones. They could speak my language, while also speaking their own ‘dialects’. Magic-influenced or not, this was my new reality.

I opened my eyes. Some time had passed, if the clock chiming as fast as rabbits multiplying had anything to say about it. I felt groggy, my eyes lazily resting half-open, while my arms laid limp by my sides. There was no pain present, only remnants of what was once pain, a slight dull one that remained until just recently. I wouldn’t even call it a true dull pain, just a light bit of pressure on my skull, and it has stayed behind to just annoy me while I was resting my eyes. A solid two on the scale at best.

I moved my right arm. It was numb. Probably because I laid on it again after rolling over like a moron. Ergo, guess I’m waiting another five to ten minutes just to let my arm come back to life.

I slowly brought myself off the bed and sighed. I adjusted myself then and there, making sure I didn’t drool all over my chin and whatever else. After making sure my shirt was aligned and the wrinkles weren’t too abundant, I turned and made sure the bed didn’t look like it was completely torn to shreds.

Once I was done with all that, I readied myself for the end of days and—

I stopped myself. A distant sound of clicking and clacking was right outside my door. Could they be hoofsteps? Was this her? Or was this Starlight or Twilight checking in on me again?

I did my best to try and not look like a shocked still-image of the Mona Lisa, but my legs were not cooperating and my mind was racing with the thought of there still being a possible drool trail on the right side of my mouth. Gross.

Luckily, my train of thought was derailed by a few swift knocks to the door.

“Rick?”

A new voice greeted me. She sounded completely different than the rest. Very scratchy, like sandpaper, but more enjoyable than sandpaper.

“Yes? WhO iS iT?

I tried to replicate that stupid sing-a-long version of the question, but my voice went off-key, sounding like I couldn’t hit those notes in Never Gonna Give You Up.

I could hear her cringe behind the door, and she groaned. “It’s Rainbow Dash. Could I come in or are you still ‘resting your eyes’ or whatever?”

I cleared my throat. “Yep, just make sure you shut the door on your way in.”

I kept my eyes glued to the door and watched as it swung open. The mare of the day walked in, her eyes latching onto mine, and I couldn’t help but watch as she walked in. Her confidence was radiating radioactive waste to the point that I mistook her for a nuclear warhead.

I blinked. The door was closed, the clock stopped speaking, and my mind was wiped like a 24-man alliance raid that had no understanding of basic mechanics.

She looked at me, her muzzle scrunched a tad, and her head was tilted enough that I jolted back to reality.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I nodded dumbly. “Yeah. Sorry, you shocked me.”

“Shocked you? I mean I do that to everypony, but you looked like you saw a ghost.”

I chuckled at that one. They’re afraid of ghosts here when they have magic to defend themselves? “No worries. I was just lost in my head after seeing you walk in.”

I wasn’t even lying. That mane was an eye-grabber. Rainbow colored. Not sure how she crawled out of that gene pool, but whatever. It was just like her name. It was a wild doo, but I wasn’t going to complain. Her tail matched that mane, while the rest of her was a light blue. And those eyes…

I took a gulp of fresh air. “So, I’m glad I’m finally able to meet you.”

She perked up at that. “Thanks, I’m glad we’re finally able to talk. Fluttershy was gushing so much about you that I was about to lose my mind.”

“Gushing?” I said with a raised brow.

“Yeah, she couldn’t stop telling me how you completely shattered her expectations. The complete opposite of what she was thinking. Such a ‘wonderful human’ and she hoped that ‘you could fit right in’ with us. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she still ‘eepd’ a few times during the conversation as usual, but I’d say her overall impression was pretty good.”

I paused, and collected my thoughts. That’s way too much for someone like me. Like, how did I get such a raving review while being treated for being a ticking time bomb? So, I decided to prod Rainbow Dash for more, hoping to see if she had anything to say about me. “And what do you think?”

She squinted her eyes at me, and snorted. “Not much. You are tall though, I’ll give you that. And does your kind normally have hair on your face?”

I rubbed my chin. I didn’t have facial hair. Why is she asking…

I felt hairs on my chin. What the fuck?

“Really depends on the p-person,” I tumbled out, still in shock that I felt actual hair on my face. “Also, thanks. Normally I’m considered too short by others. We can sometimes reach the top of that door you walked through.”

Her eyes widened at that. “Huh… that’s pretty awesome actually,” she said with a certain dryness that rivaled the deserts of Arizona. Then, she yawned, which made her slightly blush. “Sorry, I'm a little tired after my workout. Twilight had to make sure I got to see you. Something about doing this experiment to make sure you weren’t going to turn into a grape or something. I assume you guys don’t normally turn into fruit, but you never know.”

She had leaned in just a bit, as if her body language was telling me to respond right this second. I was happy to oblige.

“Luckily for you, I’m not going to turn into a grape, at least, I hope I don’t turn into one. And yeah, I think they wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to be absorbing all your magic or something.”

“Absorb my magic?” Her voice went another octave higher, which made her stumble in her words. She quietly cleared her throat while making herself at home. She plopped herself on the ground, which made me follow suit, choosing to prop myself up against the wall for good measure. “How could you do that? I mean, not that I need magic to be awesome, but you can’t take any chances.”

I shrugged. “Not sure. I’m not a scientist like them.”

To my surprise, she smirked and let out a brief neigh. “Yeah, you don’t look like a full-on egghead. Just wanted to hear what you think, since I’m not one either. The genius types go waayyy over my head half of the time. I’m fine with that though, as long as I don’t get caught in the crossfire. I know how that goes first hoof.”

I died on the inside at that last part. They have their own equivalents… “Well, at least you know now.”

“Yeah,” she said lamely, and once again, she yawned. Her head rested on her forehooves. “Sorry, let me get myself fixed up here and—”

Her voice stopped sounding normal. It sounded demonic. It sounded like hell opened up. Her eyes turned red. So did her mane. Her tail flicked on fire.

Her wing had moved. It had moved to the point of changing her entire form.

She mumbled something and then looked at me with the wrath of the supernatural. Her voice shook my body as she spoke,

✋︎ ♋︎❍︎ ⬧︎□︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♎︎♏︎♋︎●︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎ ❍︎♏︎. ✋︎🕯︎❍︎ ◆︎⬧︎◆︎♋︎●︎●︎⍓︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎, ♌︎◆︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎♎︎♋︎⍓︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬥︎□︎❒︎⬧︎⧫︎. ✋︎ ♐︎♏︎●︎⧫︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎. ✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ♓︎❍︎◻︎□︎❒︎⧫︎♋︎■︎⧫︎. ✋︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♋︎●︎●︎ ♋︎♌︎□︎◆︎⧫︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎. ✋︎🕯︎❍︎ ⬧︎□︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ✋︎🕯︎❍︎ 🙰♏︎♋︎●︎□︎◆︎⬧︎. ✋︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ♒︎♏︎●︎◻︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎♑︎♒︎. ✡︎□︎◆︎ ♎︎□︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎, ⬧︎□︎ ✋︎🕯︎❍︎ ⬧︎□︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎. ✡︎□︎◆︎🕯︎❒︎♏︎ ♋︎⬥︎♏︎⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎.

The demon spoke to me in hymns. It didn’t sound pleasant. Just angry. Angry at me.

I hugged the wall for dear life, which caused the demon to move closer. It was still inquisitive like the mare that was there before, but it kept growling at me, like it was trying to intimidate me, all while her form made the room about twenty-five percent more like temperatures of hell.

“Rainbow Dash, don’t get closer!”

Suddenly the demon jumped back, it’s burning red eyes widening. She must’ve gotten the picture as she no longer felt present. The room felt cooler, and I no longer felt like I was on a tightrope that was going to give way at any moment.

“F-Fuck,” I let out, and I opened my eyes.

The demon-thing was gone. Rainbow Dash was back, and her eyes were wider than dinner plates.

“I-I’m sorry, Rick. What did I just do to you?”

I gasped and realized this was my only chance to explain while everything was still ‘normal’. “You moved your wing and it caused you to look like Satan’s hellspawn.”

“Satan? What’s that?”

I sighed. “What’s the worst place you could think of in this land?”

“What, Equestria?” she asked. I just nodded, which made her continue her thought, “Uh… probably Tartarus. Place always brings trouble with it.”

“Satan would be the worst creature in that, but you were all red and on fire.”

“Oh.”

“And you spoke like you were going to kill me at any moment.”

“🕈︎♒︎⍓︎ ♎︎□︎♏︎⬧︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♋︎●︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎⬧︎ ♒︎♋︎◻︎◻︎♏︎■︎ ⧫︎□︎ ❍︎♏︎... ✋︎ ♎︎□︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ♒︎♓︎❍︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♒︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎ ❍︎♏︎. 🏱︎□︎■︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎ ♋︎●︎❒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎⍓︎ ♎︎□︎. I’m sorry, Rick!”

I blinked. She wrapped me in her hooves, being extra careful to not open her wings. I just reciprocated as best as I could, taking comfort in something that looked like it was going to kill me moments ago.

She couldn’t hurt a fly, right? She was a pony, not a chainsaw.

“It’s all good. Maybe I have to be more careful around you. Weird magic-y side-effects and all that.”

She let out a tired chuckle. “You better. I’ll fly laps around you if you blink.”

“Heh, sounds good.”

We just stayed there in silence momentarily, before she moved her wing—

I gasped. Her form transferred once again. The demon was not back, however she felt cold to the touch. In my arms was her though, not changed into whatever the heck it was before.

Rainbow Dash blinked and then gasped. She scooted back to make sure she maintained her distance.

“A-Are you okay? ✋︎ ❍︎♏︎⬧︎⬧︎♏︎♎︎ ◆︎◻︎ ♋︎♑︎♋︎♓︎■︎.”

“I guess. At least you’re not on fire this time, or sounding like a demon.”

She blinked, but she maintained her distance. “I’m glad, because if I was the reason you would be dead or something, Twilight would kill me.”

I nodded. I didn’t have anything witty to say, as my tongue was tied and my nerves were on end.

So, she continued saying some stuff. Stuff that made me freeze in place.

“So I know all about you. Everyone talks about you. Not about me. I’ll tell you who I am. That way you talk about me more than them. Besides, that’s all you need to know, really.”

I could only watch as her words raced into my mind.

“❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♋︎❍︎♏︎🕯︎⬧︎ ☼︎︎♋︎︎♓︎︎■︎︎♌︎︎□︎︎⬥︎︎ 👎︎︎♋︎︎⬧︎︎♒︎︎📪︎ □︎❒︎ ☼︎︎👎︎︎ ♐︎︎□︎︎❒︎︎ ⬧︎︎♒︎︎□︎︎❒︎︎⧫︎︎. Don’t wear my name out, as that’s all you’re going to be hearing. 💣︎⍓︎ ♐︎❒︎♓︎♏︎■︎♎︎⬧︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ✋︎ ♋︎❒︎♏︎ ☜︎●︎♏︎❍︎♏︎■︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎ ☟︎♋︎❒︎❍︎□︎■︎⍓︎. 🕈︎♏︎ ♒︎♏︎●︎◻︎ □︎⧫︎♒︎♏︎❒︎ ◻︎□︎■︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎, and get all the credit for it. It’s pretty cool to be seen by others as the coolest ever, but that’s normal for me. For them, not so much. Anyway, I usually call the shots since Twilight is too busy being a princess. Weird I know, but it’s how the world works now.”

She smirked. “💧︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎🕯︎︎⬧︎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ 🏱︎︎❒︎︎♓︎︎■︎︎♍︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⬧︎︎ □︎︎♐︎︎ ☞︎︎❒︎︎♓︎︎♏︎︎■︎︎♎︎︎⬧︎︎♒︎︎♓︎︎◻︎︎. ✌︎︎■︎︎♎︎︎ ⬧︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎ ◆︎︎⬧︎︎◆︎︎♋︎︎●︎︎●︎︎⍓︎︎ ♋︎⬧︎🙵⬧︎ ◆︎⬧︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎ ❒︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⧫︎︎ □︎︎♐︎︎ ☜︎︎❑︎︎◆︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⧫︎︎❒︎︎♓︎︎♋︎︎.”

Rainbow Dash sucked in a deep breath before she continued, “Applejack is probably the worst out of all of them. She’s just a show thing for me. Our relationship has been that way ever since she asked me out. She’s eye candy, which makes me look better. ✌︎◻︎◻︎●︎♏︎🙰♋︎♍︎🙵 ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎⬧︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎♋︎◻︎◻︎⍓︎, ♋︎■︎♎︎ ✋︎ ♒︎□︎◻︎♏︎ ✋︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎ ♒︎♋︎◻︎◻︎⍓︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ❒︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ □︎♐︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ●︎♓︎♐︎♏︎.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was sounding like a complete and utter bitch. What caused this? Is this the magic changing what I’m hearing?

I have to say something. Applejack doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.

“Rainbow Dash, why are you saying that Applejack is ‘eye candy’ that makes you ‘look better’? That’s pretty harsh, isn’t it?”

Suddenly for a moment, she looked like she saw a ghost. Her jaw was hanging wide open, and her head tilt was more exaggerated than ever.

“W-What did I say? I said she was ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎🕯︎⬧︎ ♏︎❖︎♏︎❒︎ ♒︎♋︎◻︎◻︎♏︎■︎♏︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ❍︎♏︎.”

I frowned. “I can’t understand you. You keep sounding like you’re gargling peanut butter or something.”

Her eyes flickered and suddenly the fire in them before lit aflame once again. “Sorry, let me say it again for you. Applejack’s stronger than most. She can take it. Besides, it’s not heartless for me to say. She already knows what I think of her and she accepts it without thinking twice about it. It’s not like she can think for herself, anyway.”

My heart sank further into my chest. Maybe if I let this play out I could ask Twilight about it or something later. All I feel is pain for Applejack, and a searing headache serating my brain.

Rainbow Dash used my silence as an excuse to continue, “My other friends are a bit easier to deal with. Pinkie Pie especially. I just think she’s a mixed bag of emotions, an unappealing one at best. If only she realized this and woke up to reality, she would be so much better. She is funny, after all. 🏱︎♓︎■︎🙵♓︎♏︎ 🏱︎♓︎♏︎ ♒︎♋︎⬧︎ ♒︎♏︎●︎◻︎♏︎♎︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♍︎□︎❍︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ❍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♌︎♏︎. 💧︎♒︎♏︎🕯︎⬧︎ ♑︎♓︎❖︎♏︎■︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♋︎♎︎❖︎♓︎♍︎♏︎ □︎■︎ ♒︎□︎⬥︎ ✋︎ ⬧︎♒︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎ ♒︎♋︎■︎♎︎●︎♏︎ ✌︎◻︎◻︎●︎♏︎🙰♋︎♍︎🙵, ⬥︎♒︎♓︎●︎♏︎ ♋︎●︎⬧︎□︎ ♌︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ♐︎❒︎♓︎♏︎■︎♎︎ ✋︎ ■︎♏︎♏︎♎︎♏︎♎︎ ♓︎■︎ ●︎♓︎♐︎♏︎. ✋︎🕯︎❍︎ ⬧︎□︎ ♑︎❒︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎♐︎◆︎●︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎, ♋︎⬧︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎⧫︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎, ✋︎ ⬥︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ❍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎ ✋︎ ♋︎❍︎ ⧫︎□︎♎︎♋︎⍓︎. I’m surprised I’m still friends with her. Lame at best, am I right?”

I stay silent as she lets out all her snark.

“Anyway, Fluttershy is wonderful. A great pony. She’s the one that helps guide me to be the best I can be, yet she’s super weak. She can’t even handle herself without me around to protect her. It’s kinda tiring you know, just being the best for all of my friends. Have to be, otherwise I won’t be seen as the best. ☞︎●︎◆︎⧫︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎⬧︎♒︎⍓︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ □︎■︎●︎⍓︎ □︎■︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♍︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎ ❒︎♏︎●︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ❍︎♏︎. 💧︎♒︎♏︎🕯︎⬧︎ ♒︎♋︎♎︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ♌︎♋︎♍︎🙵 ⬧︎♓︎■︎♍︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♑︎♓︎■︎■︎♓︎■︎♑︎. ⚐︎■︎♏︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎⧫︎❒︎□︎■︎♑︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ◻︎□︎■︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎ ✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎. ☠︎□︎ □︎■︎♏︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♍︎□︎□︎●︎♏︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎■︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎. 🕈︎♏︎●︎●︎, ♏︎⌧︎♍︎♏︎◻︎⧫︎ ✌︎☺︎. ✋︎♐︎ ✋︎ ♎︎♓︎♎︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎♋︎⍓︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎, ⬧︎♒︎♏︎🕯︎♎︎ ◻︎❒︎□︎♌︎♋︎♌︎●︎⍓︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎ ❍︎♏︎ ⬧︎●︎♏︎♏︎◻︎ □︎◆︎⧫︎⬧︎♓︎♎︎♏︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ❒︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⍓︎♏︎♋︎❒︎. I hope she knows her place.”

“And then there’s Rarity. By Celestia if she wasn’t as straight as an arrow, I would’ve hitched with her instead of AJ. She makes me so jealous! I wish I could be more like Rarity, but I can only do what she does by flying. Making dresses, wearing them, applying makeup—all that froo-froo doesn’t fit my style. It would only slow me down, and besides, I don’t need to wear all that nonsense to look cool.”

“💣︎⍓︎ ♐︎❒︎♓︎♏︎■︎♎︎ ☼︎♋︎❒︎♓︎⧫︎⍓︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎□︎■︎♏︎ ⬥︎♒︎□︎ ✋︎ ♒︎♋︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♑︎♏︎⧫︎ ◆︎⬧︎♏︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎. 🕈︎♒︎♏︎■︎ ✋︎ ❒︎♏︎♋︎●︎♓︎⌘︎♏︎♎︎ ⬧︎♒︎♏︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎□︎ ●︎♏︎■︎♎︎ □︎◆︎⧫︎ ♋︎ ♒︎□︎□︎♐︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ♋︎ ♒︎□︎❒︎■︎ 🙰◆︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♒︎♏︎●︎◻︎ ⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎□︎■︎♏︎ ♓︎■︎ ■︎♏︎♏︎♎︎, ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♋︎●︎●︎ ✋︎ ■︎♏︎♏︎♎︎♏︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ●︎□︎□︎🙵 ◆︎◻︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎. 💧︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎□︎❖︎♏︎⬧︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♓︎■︎♑︎ ♎︎❒︎♏︎⬧︎⬧︎♏︎⬧︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ♏︎❖︎♏︎❒︎⍓︎□︎■︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎□︎♓︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⬧︎♒︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎ ⧫︎□︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎ ❍︎♏︎ ⬥︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❍︎. ❄︎♒︎♏︎⍓︎❼︎❒︎♏︎ ♍︎□︎□︎●︎ ⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎⬧︎, ♌︎◆︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎⍓︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ⬥︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎ ♓︎⧫︎♍︎♒︎.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The noises were par for the course, which made my ears bleed, but everything just felt so… manufactured almost. I barely knew the pony, but I could tell these things she was saying just weren’t real. I… need to talk to someone about this after. I can’t let this behavior sit without taking mental notes to voice my opinion later.

I hope this is just the magic acting up. If not… I hope this is some kind of awful joke.

“Anyway, sorry about my rambling. I know you want to know more about me. ☼︎♓︎♍︎🙵, ♍︎♋︎■︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ❍︎♏︎? So, let me tell you about the Wonderbolts. They’re this flying team that I’m a part of, and I’ve been recently promoted as Captain. Everyone looks up to me for advice. They all want to learn from me. You don’t know how awesome that is. I feel like I’m on top of the world when I’m there! ⚐︎︎♒︎︎ 👍︎︎♏︎︎●︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⧫︎︎♓︎︎♋︎︎, ♒︎︎♏︎︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ❍︎︎♏︎︎! 🕈︎︎♒︎︎♋︎︎⧫︎︎ ♎︎︎□︎︎ ✋︎︎ ♎︎︎□︎︎?!”

I interject here to make sure she knows I’m listening. “That’s cool. What were you before you were Captain?”

A dastardly smirk warped onto the mare’s face. “Oh, one of the best flyers on the team, that’s what! I had a wingpony that was super giddy to be under my wing. I think that’s when Spitfire saw my potential. I was teaching everyone who was close to me how to really fly. Everyone around me became better because of Rainbow Dash. ✋︎ ■︎♏︎♏︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♑︎□︎ ♑︎♏︎⧫︎ ❄︎⬥︎♓︎●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎! ☟︎♏︎🕯︎⬧︎ ●︎□︎□︎🙵♓︎■︎♑︎ ❒︎♏︎♋︎●︎●︎⍓︎ ❒︎♏︎♋︎●︎●︎⍓︎ ◻︎♋︎●︎♏︎. ✋︎ ♎︎□︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ❒︎♏︎❍︎♏︎❍︎♌︎♏︎❒︎ ♒︎♓︎❍︎ ●︎□︎□︎🙵♓︎■︎♑︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎!”

For a second, I saw a brief shadow race toward the door. Then, it disappeared under the door, leaving me to stare at Rainbow Dash with a slight head tilt.

“Did you see anything just now?”

The mare shook her head instantly. “Nah. Are you okay, Rick?”

I blinked. That was the first time she acknowledged me in quite a while. “I guess. Carry on.”

The room shrunk around me. It felt smaller, like the walls were creeping in on us. I could feel Rainbow Dash move closer, and the wall on my back pushing me toward her. I couldn’t do anything about it though. My legs weren’t working. I couldn’t move them. I couldn’t move my arms. Nothing was mine anymore. They were all Rainbow Dash’s.

I looked up. Maybe this is the end. The magic got me. I couldn’t tell Twilight in time that something was wrong…

I sighed as I took in my final breath and—

“RICK!”

I gasped and coughed at the sudden inhale. My body was being jolted by Twilight, who still had her ring on her head. Behind her was Starlight, who was without her ring, trying to fight the magic in the room with her own. Eventually, all of it dispelled, letting me see the extremely teary-eyed Rainbow Dash huddling behind Starlight.

Did I cause this? Was this my fault?

“What happ—” I began to say, only for a hoof to cover my lips.

“Don’t say anything, we’re going to take you into the infirmary. We need to get whatever magic you absorbed out of you and fast. Can you stand for me?”

I tried to stand but my legs were like swiss cheese. They were numb. Everything was numb. “I-I can’t. What is wrong with me?”

“Magic overload, I think,” Twilight said, before turning to Starlight. “I think that’s enough, Starlight. Can you help me lift him on the gurney?”

Starlight nodded. The two grunted in lifting my corpse on it. “Where is Redheart?”

“They’re waiting in the infirmary, Starlight.”

“And why would you tell them not to come with us?”

Twilight blinked. “Didn’t want them to add to the exposure. Us three is enough for Rick to go into shock.”

I sighed. I feel really tired right now. Maybe if I close my eyes…

“You can’t rest right now, Rick. Stay with me!” Starlight shouted.

Sorry, Starlight. I’m way too tired to hear anything else.

I close my eyes again. Maybe going home will be faster this way.