• Member Since 19th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Dan_s Comments


Story teller at heart. I like to examine the unusual. I spend too much time being 'reasonable'. I write to play, and hope others enjoy the results.

Comments ( 18 )

So how many of those captured in Ponyville were brutally murdered? Did they just turn them all to stone, or just atomize them? Did any of them get sent home? Honestly after the humans in the forest got slaughtered the survivors have every reason to believe the ponies are twisted and evil. Hell, Celestia is exactly that if she's keeping someone prisoner for helping people. Plus them all not taking an appropriate reaction to finding out the humans are all innocent victims makes them look as bad as Discord. Like, they were outright murdered. Or very very close to murder, given none of them were the slightest bit hostile.

Edit: actually yeah, that would be murder.

10513029 None. None or none. All.
All part of Discord's plan, after all if you can't make your greatest foe betray their most strongly held values and become the monster, what kind of villain are you?
Innocent victims? The Nineteen perhaps. the 150 wouldn't consider themselves such, until they were brought to heel. Let us just say the 150 did nothing to encourage anything but loathing among the ponies. As Celestia and Luna said, Discord primed then well, then let them loose on the Nineteen, the only innocent victims.

I love your story telling style and content. It is always a treat. Thank you for another story :)

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10513116

The Ponies are just Xenophobic Assholes! 😡 🤦


It won't be surprising that if they all die, they burn in Hell/Tartarus for the mistreatment against Humanity! 😈 :pinkiecrazy:

10513116
That seems a bit of a stretch. If the first group inspired such an impression the ponies would kill without mercy then them not killing any of the first group when they got the chance doesn't make sense. Instead that says they weren't "primed" or whatever, which is worse. It says that they deliberately murdered people who weren't fighting back when it became apparent that they xould easily be killed. I take back what I said before, they're WORSE than Discord.

I love a good Wargames reference.

Discord's last stroke against us: a swarm of monsters to train us on, and a brief handful as fragile as Breezies

An enemy of ours summoned two groups of you. One rampaged through our town, terrorizing the populace, the second, your group, retreated into the forest. The first group were reinforced to such a degree that only the strongest blows and spells would phase them. Your group was left unreinforced, so when we encountered you, the use of our practiced method had tragic results.

10513574 If Kryptonians on Earth are such assholes you have to develop anti-Kryptonian weaponry, then you use it on some human the Kryptonians dressed in Kryptonian uniform, you'll destroy them. Same situation here.

I hope this is not one of those stories where ponies commit horrific murders and get away with a slap on the wrist. Like, you can't defend ponies bashing in heads of people who lay on the ground and cry "I surrender!". They are straight up evil and survivors have every right to kill them on sight. "We're sorry" and a few nightmares is not nearly enough.

10513847
Exaxtly Its elijah mccain. Really. The lack of physical desceiption also throws the tone off. Added to have a sex god psyocriatrist doing ponys after people were murdered. Screaming I surrender?

I liked parts. Disliked a lot of it really beacuse so much brushes aside profound human suffering in blasay way. You do acknowledge it but a rather leveraged way that is not hay. They murdered people. Like genuine people that screamed surrender?

Pinkie didnt realize that a woman who watched her friends even random people be murdered let alone her friend robert be sent into coma?

So pony can be both profoundly ignorant, lacking in a social graces. Because who doesnt want to see the face of a murderergiving you cake?

So everyone is really not feeling the affects of this. Which comes back to the lack of desceiption. Of the senses which really addes to the feeling of disconnect further flesh out with jumping ship to so many povs? I dont get a feel for emotions just philosophy. Ponys being stupid. And since this really is about ponys. This lacks the realness of your other works.

Usually the sassy tone of your other characters could hold this up. It just actually feels weird. I would try reading it over with added showing. Which done to great affect would aid your story.

Celestia normally didn't delve into dreams, she lacked the skills to be as good as Luna, and she was always worried she'd break somepony. She made an exception for the humans. While their bodies were incredibly fragile, as was their morale, their minds seemed well able to deal with the vagaries of dream walking.

Oh just fuck off and die.

10513749
Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Even if that were true it still doesn't excuse them, which is what you seem to be implying, which kinda looks bad for the story and says its going to be running on flawed logic or warped morals. Basically that despite the ponies doing something terrible they were justified and should feel no guilt, which makes no damn sense.

"Nopony blames anypony for being out of sorts," Luna said, "She did provide that they are called humans, rather than hoomuns." Luna sighed. "I pummeled that human as did the guards, his only action was to protect his head," she said and bowed her head, "And cry out 'I surrender', little good it did him, it simply extended his dying if his internal injuries cannot be repaired." She accepted Celestia's hug and returned it as she dealt with her own guilt. "So you are not the only pony trained by Discord, I and every guard expected to suffer from some horrible deception, as we had so often with the others."

Excuse me bitch what the fuck

only the strongest blows and spells would phase them

faze

Standby for downvotes. If you give Celestia any character or imperfections, too many will take offence. Makes me wonder what writers are for.

10514431
I like a flawed Celestia, if the work had better descriptions. And took its time with the story other then jumping around?

Basically as I read it reads almost as a bad dream then something happening in a reality.

This for affects the enjoyment let alone. The fact that some characters suffer from guilt others still that commited heinous acts of violence and suffer no ill effects?


Pinkie pie murdering someones friends then helping the survivers? Where is the consistent tone?

Otherwise its interesting, and if edited properly a flawed Celestia with a disgrunted ponyville? A flawed everyone really? Who woudnt read that?

Have you read after the end, or a new end? Its not too similar at least it is a interesting take on Celestia, even more on point Sunset Reset handles a fantastic charactisition of Celestia.

I always imagine a Celestia too Flawed wouldnt be just flawed anymore. She would be a actively bad ruler on a good day. On bad day eshh.

Unless is tyrant version?

Im glad the author wrote this. As a author myself if I at least cursively paying attention to criticism at very least that I deem noteable. How else will we as writers improve? If not by listening to readers? That actively take the time to write about it let alone about the simple craft of it.

Though this can be taken too far of course.

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Don't get me wrong, I love playing with Celestia too. There's so much room for allegory there. But it offends canon purists if you let her be anything but the perfect (boring) mother goddess.

10515306
I know right like so the thousand year old maybe goddess?

Doesnt have any stories to tell?

This story is fragmented, sense it does not make, bullshit it is quite.

....so, this ever getting updated or what?

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