• Member Since 7th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 20th, 2016

Radiogenicpony


1: Scootaloo 2: Rumble 3: Sweetie Belle 4: Apple Bloom 5: Fluttershy

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As Scootaloo completes her flight training, Questions rage still in her mind. She seeks knowledge from Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Inspired by Family Ways (Cover) by Forest Rain

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 10 )

Hi buddy :


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You need to work on beefing up your descriptions, descriptions are the meat of a good story while what you have is the skin and bones. Put some meat on those bones and make this story, which is just ok, and make it a truely good story.

You should also consider proofreading and editting to add gaps between paragraphs to make the story easier to follow and, through that, improve the overall reading experiance.

I will be adding this story to a Group, but only because I'm expecting you to follow my advice and pump this story up to what it could be.

That was completely random. That is all. :ajbemused:

Another good one. Nice work.

1258336

It was meant to answer questions people may have about the dream Rainbow Dash (as well as create knew ones that may or may not be answered in 'Magic of the Filly' or 'Strength of an Apple'.

:scootangel::applecry::unsuresweetie: :facehoof:

1258112

Pre-reader here; sorry about that. This was edited in Word, so I didn't catch anything to do with streamlining the formatting for the site. I'll study up on that so I can be of more help in that regard.

Radiogenic, I agree with the above poster about always continuing work on fleshing out your descriptions. They're your best opportunity to be unique in the way you describe and phrase things rather than just telling the events in order. One way to think of it is like this: writing a story is, in a lot of ways, similar to painting. You have to use just the right shade of words to drive home the point you're trying to make. Just like there are hundreds of shades of red, there are hundreds of ways to describe the same event, but the impression the reader gets can be very different based on HOW you tell it.

Loving all the work so far, and looking forward to working on the next saga.

I'm not one for writing long and captivating comments of descriptive approval, based on ones ability to write wonderful stories based on my most favorite and cherished characters.

More. :heart:

1261921
It may not be long and captivating on its own, but it is eye catching due to a lesser used emoticon, and it it direct.

no more best pony (Scootaloo) stories, but Sweetie Belle stories are coming soon. (definition of soon may vary, as being back in school may change my rate of writing)

:scootangel::applecry::unsuresweetie: :facehoof:

1262054 By all means. Your time is your own, and you are more than generous for using it to share these with us. I hope to see your stories a tad bit longer in the future.:twilightblush:

There's a lot Equestria has to offer, and I know there's a vast reservoir of imagination in that head of yours to help you scratch the surface.

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