• Member Since 29th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Sunday

mrmidnight


I am retired if you wanna fine my work follow the link. https://www.patreon.com/Mrmidnightwolf https://discord.gg/AeZBhyR

Comments ( 94 )

Okay, You have my attention.

Fluttershy being guy crazy and wants to get laid most of the time, that's new because I expect something like that from Rarity or Rainbow Dash.

Also are the other rest of the Main 6 in here and also super- hero's....plus why does this story reminds me of that movie, My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Congratz, you got featured. However, I would highly suggest you try and look at your grammar more closely. Too many of your sentences run on and on with no pause, as well.

10493137
i have the same feeling too

awesome chapter my friend it reminds me of my super ex-girlfriend movie keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Plot twist spike is a retired villain and kills Delt

I can really see Applejack as Power Girl, even though I've seen her as SuperMare with Appl Bloom as Superfilly. Definitely getting to see more of this and I will stay tuned!!:raritystarry::ajsmug::pinkiehappy:

Edit: I have to believe that after describing Fluttershy/Iron Maiden, I'm not the only viewer that wants for Spike to meet her like he met Delta/Applejack, just without trashing his hotel room...

This reminds me of that movie... THE SUPER EX... right away... Oo
uhmm also - is that... uh... wait ... Powergirl???? Am i right? My knowledge is fairly...

10493285
Yes it's powergirl heh I couldn't find a great superman version the site would take
10493137
Heh yeah I figured it would be funny for Fluttershy to be like that and it was so spired by the movie

10493254

10493225
This was slightly inspired by the movie yeah lol

im very much liking this

lewd handholding

You filthy degenerate :pinkiegasp::pinkiesick:

“I mean she’s great, though my pal Discord, He is obsessed with her- I mean not in a creepy way- Though mainly just a wanting to fuc-“ He stopped covering his mouth as Spike realized what he was saying and looked away before he made an ass out of himself.

Discord is Spike's pal? OK, I did not see that one coming.

Is it wrong I want to see Spike have powers like him having the ability to turn into a giant dragon. Because I'm usually very tired of fanfics making Spike the powerless one and giving the girls super powers. Help the ability form. Turn into a dragon could start out from him witnessing her getting attacked by someone using Kryptonite but instead of being able to bounce back like most could it's actually stabbed into part of her body maybe an arm and Spike's extremely protective instincts kick in scale start covering his arms, he starts sprouting some horns, grows a tail, and gain increased strength. I'm mostly throwing this ideal out there because I like it.

10493465
Lol yeah they are was originally going to be flash sentry but when I made Fluttershy iron maiden I was like fuck it I want to have discord

10493471
Nothing wrong with that heh I mean I was planning the story be an idea of an ordinary guy finding himself in the wild situation of dating his world's Superman . Though it depends on how long I make the story it was originally ment to be more of a short story 10,000 words maybe 15,000 but this thing is getting very popular

10493577
Good for you. I would personally vote Discord over Flash any day of the week.

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!! I can't wait to see how this story goes. Hope we get to the sex scene soon. But a little of having the characters get used to each other is fine too. 😁👍

Interesting concept, with all due respect. You need an editor.

Well, it might not be much, but…” Delta reached over towards her purse as she pulled out a blank check and handed it over. Lee looked towards it, examining the check. “What's this?” Spike asked, looking over it. The check was blanket with not much to it but a signature on the bottom. Delta blushed some as she answered.

1. Who is Lee? Replace that with he.


2. You don’t need to say reached over towards her purse, just reached into her purse.


3. Spike can examine the check without looking towards it first. Sometimes being direct is the best route to go. No need to pad anything out.


4. The check was blank. I understand this could be spell check. Still have a second or even third look before you publish the chapter.

Cause I’m the good guy, I can’t be using my powers for my own game

Because, I’m the hero. I can’t use my powers for personal gain.

Game = a game.

Gain = getting something out of it.

These are just a few examples that you need to improve on. Look up the group looking for editors and post this story in said group. I would offer to edit myself however I work all day.

It’s good don’t get me wrong and I can understand it. Some other people might struggle with it a bit more and be turned off from reading it in the first place. Basically put, it’s good. But it could be better.

10493701
Yeah I'm going to be nice here thank you for pointing out the Lee part. But as for the editor I'm going to give you the same spew I give every person who says I need an editor donate to my patreon. I do this for fun mostly these projects are me having fun I do not have money what money i do have goes to feeding my family. Editors need money to work. Before you say go to a blog here we have editors. The people who would do it for free. Will ether get tired of my fuck ups and quit or get bored. The people who will stay with this to the end will need money which I don't have so i mainly do this myself and stuff gets by me.

So again this is on my time. But I don't mind the criticism but telling me I need an editor pisses me off cause I know but it's not always simple. I also predict you'll say get Grammarly I have that no worries. Thanks for the flaw pointing out I'll fix that when I get home at 1 am

10493725
You can get a free editor here. I'd offer to do it myself, but I don't proofread porn.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group

Members list
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group/members

Comments on your proofreader
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdmXDJpA0zKp-_tPSXJppfdtpOqSUKcBfWpedT7C1KSSwEgOw/viewform

The rules say "You can offer but they can't demand $". They insist on being paid, report them & they'll get kicked out.

10493725
I don’t care what your personal life is or what you do or don’t do. I don’t care whether it’s for fun or not. I was just trying to offer advice from one writer to another. Your personal hookups are your personal hookups.

10493168
That, and the randomcapitalization?
I think this is an awesome story, otherwise!

Why does this remind me of My Super Ex-Girlfriend?

10493739
As I said I had used a couple and all the results bi got was ether they would stop half way. Stopped speaking or at one point one guy I offered and did pay started to get so busy with other stuff I gave up. I do think there might be some on the links you gave me but, if I'm going to get an editor I want to make sure it works out. Why I'm saving up money in hopes of one of my books to get professionally edited

10493809
Cause it was a inspired a bit by it

10493813
Nice. Hopefully the "Ex" part never shows up.

Also is it bad I want to see her letting him dominate her? It kinda sounds hot.

10493823
As far as I know and nothing wrong with wanting that lol though gotta see what happens plus with patreob you can influence the story a bit

10493797 Indeed.


10493725

10493747
Easy, you two. Let's not start a fight that needn't be started. And to be honest, Midnight? I'd be fully willing to edit for you, no charge, no catch, no nothing. I can't promise I'll be 100% ready to edit 100% of the time with my own busy schedule being ever present, but nothing says the idea is impossible. However, if you do not wish to talk about the subject of editors for personal reasons, then I apologize. My offer stand nonetheless, though. Your story has potential, as does the rest of your work.

I'd be honored to help edit your stories, if you'd have me. :twilightsmile:

10493835
I pmed you my answer

10493811
As I said, by that site's rules, you are allowed to offer $, but they are not allowed to ask.
Also, you can use the third link to comment on those who abandoned you. I would.

This is interesting because there are so few female superhero that hook up with normal men. I will follow this story with great interest.

spike is one of them freaks who likes a well done steak. for shame

Is this story anthro

I like where this is going and I can't wait to read the rest.

Quite an interesting start.

Most excellent.

Will this story have more super heroines then just Fluttershy and Applejack?

His hand was fumbling through, grabbing the remote as his shaggy hair got in the way of his vision as he pushed it away.

I’m having trouble picturing that.

This- who was a feminine figure tall, almost amazon like a woman.

Amazon woman?

She was wearing a skin-tight outfit red with D.D emblazed on her chest.

Does that mean the two D’s were red or the suit?

It was clear she was hamming it up the white smile on her face.

What does that mean?

“No problem but come over so I can get that date of your ready, and you can get your payment for the boy toy.” Fluttershy teased as she gave a wink. Applejack only groaned in annoyance as she wanted to scream. Sometimes she wondered what she did to deserve a friend like Iron Maiden.

Payment?

“Well, I mean you kind of Look like Applejack Lane, the reporter that does stories on you all the time,” Spike said as Delta’s eyes widened some, and shook her head,

Is Applejack Kay and Applejack Lane the same person?

10495109
To ANswer one thing yes Applejack Lane, and Kay are the same person, it's meant as a bit of a joke on SUperman, and Lois lane relationship along with Superman and Clark kent looking alike

Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by mrmidnight deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by mrmidnight deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by mrmidnight deleted Oct 23rd, 2020
Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Oct 23rd, 2020

awesome chapter my friend like my super exgirlfriend reference cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

you can do a story an alraune trying to find love


Alraune

Whoa baby!
Spike is gonna need a new bed and a pelvis cast

Power Girl AJ. Yeah baby!

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