• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 21 minutes ago

Deep


"A world without friendship is a lonely world indeed."

T

All Applejack wants is a kind, good-natured, simple stallion to settle down with. Only problem is, the stallion she's fallen for is anything but that.

No matter how hard she tries, she can't stop herself from falling in love with a villain. A criminal. And she doesn't know why.

But she's determined to figure out the reason, even if it means accepting a shameful truth about herself.


Sex is discussed and reflected on, but not shown.

Part of the How We Lost It series, inspired by Fluttershy's Night Out

Proofread by Schattendrache


Other Stories in the How We Lost It series:
Twilight: Running Away from Destiny
Rarity: What is a Worthy Man?
Rainbow Dash: Deathbed Thoughts
Pinkie Pie: What is a Smile Worth?
Fluttershy: Coming soon!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

Oh boy....

what's the issue with a grown stallion liking dolls made for fillies?

I'm sensing a parallel here...

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors helping Authors

Name of Story: A Simple Pony

Grammar score: 7

Pros: Details and depth is pretty good. The character feeling is remarkable. A bit of a well done backstory on side characters.

Cons:

only one thing I noticed is punctuations.

Example:

So when she told her friends that she was ready to settle down, everypony rightfully assumed that it would be with a pony like her.
this is in paragraph 1

So, when she told her friends that she was ready to settle down, every pony rightfully assumed that it would be with a pony like her.

Every time you use so in beginning of a sentence must have a comma. everypony it could be an error not sure but you must separate them for two words instead of one.

In total score In my opinion this is a 7.5/10 for me.

Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story: Clown Mare.

There's something charming about a lawless rogue and a lawful farm girl getting together that sounds fascinating.

An interesting choice. I can't say I think it's the right choice, but it was her decision nonetheless. Hopefully she understands and can accept the potential consequences of her actions. Nice story!

10502943

Thanks!

Hope you enjoy the other stories in this series too (once they're all out). All six pretty much involve the Mane 6 making "controversial" decisions, for lack of a better word.

The writing was quite good! Very reflective and I liked the oc - he had an interesting personality.
Thanks for sharin’.:pinkiesmile:

10503260

Thanks! Hope you like the other stories in this series too :twilightsmile:

10502873

Yep, the good ol' opposites attract is always fun. Originally this story was going to be about Applebloom, but then I thought that AJ would make it more fun since she's a lot more stubborn and stuck in her ways than her sister.

10503304
Yeah, Apple Bloom does have a bit rebellious streak after all. And I feel like there aren't enough straight AJ fics (not that I have a problem with the yuri fics). I also never liked the whole "married to work" headcanon. It seems like because Applejack didn't show interest in Trenderhooves, people think she's asexual (dang it TV tropes with the Chaste Hero trope ascribed to her!) even though she had no reason to be attracted to him at all. To me AJ is simply waiting for the right stallion at the right time, something Rarity being filled with more passion than reason, still needs to learn.

Sorry for my long rambling😅. Anyways this was a great fanfiction. I always loved the scoundrel being shipped with AJ too.

10503315

To me AJ is simply waiting for the right stallion at the right time

Which is exactly what I always thought too. She has no issue waiting for the right kind of family man to enter her life. And if he doesn't, then she'll ask her extended family for recommendations.

Sorry for my long rambling😅. Anyways this was a great fanfiction. I always loved the scoundrel being shipped with AJ too.

I love comments, so keep rambling haha! AJ being shipped with a bad boy always just felt so natural to me too.

Hope you enjoy the other stories in this series! The Twilight one is already up.

So applejack had one of those alpha chads, but when they get away, she resign herself for the beta provider, if applejack encounters the villain again, she may go for another round, or not, if anything, she had her fun, and hopefully is a one time thing.

My previous comments were me skimming the fanfic and not really knowing what it was about.

Dang this is taking honesty to its extreme. It's a little sad how they won't get together. I am kinda sappy for the thief reforming and marrying Applejack (probably why I like the Flim x Applejack), but you know what?

They both held on to what they believed in. I'll admit I don't think I would agree to not having any compromise if it means you'll be a better and happier person, but this isn't about making best choice. It's about staying true. And that's something I admire. It's bittersweet. But I respect this fanfic. A great fanfiction!

BTW I loved Applejack secretly is a ballerina. Nothin like a cowgirl ballerina!

10506187

Thanks! :twilightsmile:

To be honest, all six stories in this series are meant to tragically sad and take the six Elements to their extremes (which is what causes the issue). Glad you were able to figure out what this series is truly about :raritywink:

"That's why it's a secret. Besides, what's the issue with a grown stallion liking dolls made for fillies?"

good God he's self-aware! The timelines have merged! Call in Tenet!

It was quite a nice read. It also contained a lot more of immature nonsence from our 'villain' and AJ than I expected. :ajbemused:

the Royal Guards returned to the training center, allowing the robber to escape.

Useless, as usual. :facehoof:

what's the issue with a grown stallion liking dolls made for fillies?

:ajsmug: :eeyup: Nothing wrong with that, actually.

I ain't want either of us to have to compromise

So I'll make a compromise with myself by sleeping with you and then dating and marrying some other guy I'm not into! Sound logic! :applejackconfused: :pinkiesick:

At least tell me your name, why don't ya

Perfect timing! :applejackconfused: :raritydespair:

Just call me the villain

I guess it's 'Edgelord McHoofinson' or something like that.

He accepted her apology

That just sounds great. "I forgive you for running after the bank robber, getting the money back and leaving home soon aftewards. I'm such a calm and understanding type that I'll gladly treat you to another boring date." I think that this stallion's lack of voice hurts the story somewhat.

how that led him to wanting a large number of children.

Great topic to discuss on a second date, especially if the first one went rough. Not awkward at all. :ajsleepy:

He may not have been the man she wanted, but he was the husband she needed

Er... So, one night with a bad boy suddenly makes AJ less bored with her 'Mr. Right, but not really'? I don't buy it. This will probably end in tears (unless one of them comes to their senses and backs off in time). Don't go for a relationship just to be in a relationship. It isn't smart, and it isn't honest either.

P.S. Sorry for being harsh, but AJ is one of my favorites. In my opinion, one of her defining traits is her maturity (considering the show she's in) and common sense. It's certainly interesting to see her in a situation in which she would act irrationally, but the ending to this particular story felt very off.

10516096

I always find it interesting seeing how my interpretation of the characters differs from the interpretation other fans have.

I felt that AJ having her one special night of lust was the mature choice, since it'd allow her to move on to the next stage of her life. If she hadn't slept with the villain, then she would've always wondered "what if?" However, now that she's gotten it out of her system, she can move on.

Login or register to comment