The two trippin' mares
I'm sorry, but you can't blame me. You both look and act so much alike.
I’m just saying. You’re both purple ponies with purple hair. You both have Cutie Marks with sparkly things.
Spike, can you please tell these two I'm right? They look very similar.
Sitting on her crystal throne in her castle, Twilight Sparkle blew a disheartened sigh. Her forehooves were pressed against her cheeks. Beside the alicorn stood Starlight Glimmer with her head down, anxiously scraping the cold crystal floor with a forehoof. Both ponies had been silent for the last half-minute.
As if she had grown bored of the uncharacteristic silence, Twilight moved her hooves off her face and asked, “Hey, Starlight?”
Starlight ceased scraping the floor and lifted her head, looking into the eyes of her mentor. “Yeah?”
“Did Ember have a point? Do we really look and act alike?”
“Oh, you’re thinking about what Ember said about us yesterday too?”
“Yes, but it’s ridiculous...right?” Twilight asked, but finished in an uncertain voice.
“Right...I think.”
Twilight cocked her head to the side. “You think?”
“I guess my coat, mane, and tail are close to the same color as yours, save for the little streaks in our mane and tail being a different color.” Starlight pointed to the side of her neck covered by her mane. “This part of our mane is in a similar shape too, even if mine is a bit longer and ends in a curl." She directed her pointing hoof toward her Cutie Mark. "Even with the 'sparkly' or 'glimmery' things, our Cutie Marks are different, but it's not like others take close looks at them first when they see us.”
“Fair enough, and it would feel weird if they did. Still, there is another big difference between us: one of us have wings!” Twilight spread out both of her mighty, majestic wings. “Are they that hard to see when I’m not using them?”
“They are to Ember, I guess.” Starlight leaned toward one of Twilight’s still out-stretched wings. ”And, from the right angles, they can be easy to miss when you have them folded. I hate to admit it, but...*sigh*...we were both thinking about what she said, as if...we’re alike.”
Twilight closed her wings and groaned. The truth she fought to deny finally celebrated in victory. “Great. She was right. So much for individuality.”
“Yeah. You’re my former teacher, but I don’t want to be a Twilight Sparkle 2.0.” Starlight pointed at her back and smiled slyly. “Though, I am still waiting for those wi–”
“And you’re going to keep waiting. Even if I have the power to do it, I’m not turning you into an alicorn,” Twilight said with a smile. Her voice contained a peculiar combo of both playfulness and seriousness.
“Fine,” Starlight said with a disappointed frown, but shook her head to straighten her mind. She and Twilight had a worse dilemma than a lack of alicorn transformations. “Well, whether you give me wings or not, if we really do resemble each other too much, maybe we should do something to stand out from each other.”
“That could work, but how?”
The two tapped their chins with a hoof, their pupils rolling upward. How could they rid themselves of their similarities?
An idea rushed into Twilight’s mind and made her grin. Her eyes momentarily sparkled, living up to her name of Twilight Sparkle. “I know! We could re-style our manes and wear clothes we’ve never worn before.”
Starlight’s face lit up with a grin of her own. Fitting of her name, her eyes glimmered. “Good idea! If we act differently too, we will never get mixed up again!”
“Glad you like the idea.” Twilight hopped off her throne. “Rarity won’t be back in Ponyville for another two days, so after I tell Spike I’m leaving, I’m going to Manehattan and pick out some clothes. Their stores have the most extensive selection.”
“I’ll come too. I don’t go to Manehattan much.”
After they told Spike about their upcoming trip to Manehattan, but not why, Twilight and Starlight galloped out of the castle and boarded the Friendship Express. When they had visited the human world where Sunset Shimmer lives, the pair witnessed some humans wear styles of clothes that (most) ponies found unusual, making them perfect for their plan. Luckily, similar outfits also existed in Equestria in one of Manehattan’s shops, tailor-made for ponies.
They also wanted to surprise each other when they wear the clothes, so Twilight and Starlight shopped separately and kept what they bought a secret from each other.
On the next day, they each visited the human world (independently) for a few hours to carefully study more on how some humans spoke.
Two days after Ember’s visit to Ponyville, at Applejack’s farm...
It was time for yet another competition for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The forementioned pair faced each other, both with deep, confident smiles. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike were standing by watching. Rarity wore a glittering pink dress she had made earlier and wished to show off to her friends – she does that.
“Are you ready?” Rainbow asked.
Applejack nodded. “Yep. Whoever wins is the champion, forever.”
“I still say this is pointless,” Rarity said with a shake of her head. “You two have already held three ‘champion forever’ staring contests, so you will just be having another one later.”
The oinking pigs in the nearby pig den shook their heads at the two eternal competitors.
“Not this time, Rarity,” Applejack said in a voice tone showing she knew this would be different.
“Huh, that’s what you said last time,” Spike commented.
“I know Applejack and I had trouble, but this time–”
“H-h-hey there my peeps! Twilight Double ‘O’ Sparkle is here!” A voice from behind called out.
The friends spun around. Twilight strode to them with a smug, yet unnatural smirk. Her mane, now blue, was balled into an afro shape and she wore shades. She was adorned with an open black jacket, decorated with designs of her Cutie Mark, and a white shirt underneath the jacket that bore the word “pimp”. To top it off, a shiny gold chain rested around her neck.
The friends gawked at Twilight with huge, uneasy grins. Each blinked twice.
“Wow, what’s the deal-o with y’all mugs? Am I really such a stunner today?” Twilight straightened her shades; a glare of sunlight reflected off them as she did.
“Uh...Twilight? Is that you?” Spike finally asked, pointing a claw at Twilight.
Twilight twirled her body once and spread out her forelegs in an “it’s me” manner. “Of course, Spike-o-mac! Who else would I be? Anyhoo, what’s shakin’?”
Applejack rubbed the back of her neck. “Twilight, what’s the deal with that silly new...manestyle, and...the rest of what yer wearin'?”
“Silly?” She huffed dismissively. “My ‘fo and new duds ain’t silly, they're, uh, the bomb!”
“Um, 'duds'? ‘bomb’?” Fluttershy asked with a puzzled tilt of her neck. “Where did you hear those expressions, or are they?”
“It was when I was chilling in the human world, but I never used them.” Twilight pointed at her gold chain. “What do you think of my banging new chain? Don’t worry: it’s on...the up and up.”
The friends blinked twice again. Rarity moaned, but summoned all of her willpower to not faint.
Rainbow asked, “Okay, did you hit your head today?”
“Nope, and I’ve never felt better.” Twilight strutted toward Rarity and circled her, gazing at her dress. “Oh, Rarity, that is a, uh, dope dress!”
“Um...thank you?” Rarity rubbed the top of her head confusingly. “I think? Was that even a compliment?”
Spike stepped toward Twilight, eyes oozing worry. “Twi? Maybe you should lie down.”
“Yeah, Ah think yer princess duties have taken a...toll,” Applejack commented, but unlike Spike, she stayed in place.
Twilight groaned, grumpily shaking her head. “This is wack. Y’all trippin’ like I’m not myself or something, but whatever.” She strode to the Apples’ barn and sat down, laying her back against the barn.
♪ They call me the Princess of Friendship, ‘cause I can mend any relationship. ♪
♪ I fight villains after eating breakfast, but still whip them in time to play violins at lunch. ♪
♪ I can dish out spells to leave Starswirl the Bearded impressed, and I can bust dance moves to make top dancers depressed. ♪
♪ If you mess with my books, I will wreck your looks! ♪
Twilight continued to rap (kinda) to herself as her friends stared at her, feeling both concern and fear. The pigs in the pig pin all inched toward the side of their den that was the furthest from Twilight, keeping their eyes on her. Those are the smartest pigs this underpaid narrator has ever seen.
Twilight had occasionally suffered moments that she’d rather forget, but THIS was on an unprecedented level. This was a crisis far beyond the young alicorn merely stressing out for the 527th time.
Applejack laid a hoof under her chin. “Guys, it happened. She still has a good singing voice, but Twilight really lost her marbles this time.”
“Maybe something happened to her when she went to Manehattan?” Rarity mused. "No, that can't be it. I didn't see her much yesterday, but she seemed fine when I did."
“Twilight wouldn’t try to hurt us in that...state, right?” Rainbow slapped her cheek. “No, of course not! She wouldn’t hurt us, even if she finally snapped!”
“If she does, I will deserve the pain the most. Why didn’t Shining Armor and I drag her to therapy when we had the chance? She might be too far gone now! I’m the worst #1 assistant ever!”
“What are we going to do?” Fluttershy motioned a hoof to the still-rapping Twilight. “Even if she’s ‘too far gone’, we can’t let Twilight stay like that for the rest of her life! She’s our friend and a princess of Equestria!”
Spike said, “Maybe I could send a letter to Princess Cele–”
“Yo, what’s up holmes? It’s your filly, Glimmy-Mimmy!” a new voice called out.
The gang swung their heads to the voice. Swagging closer to them was a smugly smiling Starlight. Her mane, now in green, was curled into numerous thin braids. She wore a gold necklace around her neck, a blue jacket, and underneath the jacket, a white shirt with the words “Haters gonna hate”.
Starlight pointed at Twilight. “Twi-money! So that’s what you got! You chose some, uh, smoking threads.”
Rarity, Applejack, Spike, Rainbow, and Fluttershy all facehoofed/facepalmed.
“Oh no,” Fluttershy mumbled. “Not her too.”
Twilight jumped to her hooves, dashed around her bewildered friends and in front of Starlight, and said, “Back at you, Glimmy-Mimmy, and I dig your dreads.“
Twilight and Starlight stood on their hind legs. They repeatedly slapped one of their forehooves while clicking their tongues, as if performing some kind of secret hoofshake.
Rainbow commented, “You know, I think I liked them better when Twilight was a loner and Starlight still stole Cutie Marks.”
Applejack took a good, deep breath. “Okay, uh, ‘holmes’? Did one of yer spells backfire or somethin’?”
Starlight and Twilight lowered back down on all fours and Twilight answered, “Uh, nope. We didn’t even throw down any jank spells today.”
“‘Jank’? Why are you talking like that?” Spike asked. “Same question to you, Starlight.”
Starlight let out a disgruntled groan. “Twi-money? What’s up with them?”
Twilight shrugged her shoulders. “Beats me. They were trippin’ when I...rolled in here.”
Pinkie Pie emerged from under a rock on the ground, her beaming face wearing a cheerful smile. “Hey guys, what’s go–” Pinkie's smile weaned into a frown and she stared at Twilight and Starlight. “Uh, hello?”
Starlight waved a greeting hoof. “Pink-dawg! Glad to see you! Maybe you can tell our buds that everything is a-okay.”
“Yeah. Help them trust that Glimmy-Mimmy and I are legit.”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped to the ground. She yanked a pair of glasses from her mane and put them on. Twilight and Starlight remained in their unusual outfits, so Pinkie pushed her glasses back in her mane. “Okay, that lazy writer that REALLY needs a girlfriend won’t like it, but I’m going out-of-character to ask ‘What?’ and ‘The f**k?!’”
“Ya know, Ah’m not even gonna ask who that ‘lazy writer’ is, Pinkie.”
“Or where you learned that...last word,” Rarity said that ended with a grimace.
Starlight disapprovingly shook her head at Pinkie. “Wherever you picked it up, you shouldn’t dish out such fresh language, Pink-dawg.”
“She’s right. That word was NOT minty fresh!” Twilight agreed as she sharply waved a hoof dismissively.
Rarity growled and shouted, “That is quite enough you two! Seriously, what is the matter?!”
Rainbow asked, “Why are you trying so hard to act...like that?”
“Forget us!” Twilight pointed at her normal-acting friends. “What’s y’all beef today? My filly and I are just trying to look and act a little different from each other.”
Spike crossed his arms. “Well, I hate to say it, but you failed.”
Twilight and Starlight gasped. They both asked in unison, “What?! How?! Look at us!”
“It’s because you are both looking and acting ridiculous!” Spike answered.
“We don’t look ridiculous!” the pair protested simultaneously. “We’re fine!”
“Oh, come on!” Rainbow yelled, then let out an exasperated groan. “Look at yourselves! That ain’t you!”
Twilight and Starlight turned their heads to each other. They intently eyed the other’s jacket, necklace/chain, mane, and shirt. As they did, their mouths widened in realization.
“Do I look as absurd as you right now?” Twilight asked.
“If by ‘very absurd’, then yes. Now that I think of it, how we were talking did sound...weirder than it did than when those, uh, humans talked that way.”
“That must be why Sunset always uses more...normal human language.” Twilight facehoofed. “Oh, Starlight, what in Celestia’s name were we thinking?” She stared down at herself and winced. “Worse, what was I thinking wearing this shirt? ‘Pimp’? Really?”
“That’s what we’re wondering! What’s wrong guys?” Spike asked.
“Yes, talk to us,” Fluttershy pleaded in a soft, sympathetic voice.
Twilight’s ears woefully drooped and she rubbed the ground with a hoof. “Well...Starlight and I were thinking about how Ember said we look and act alike, so we wanted to stand out from each other more.”
“But even when trying to be different, Twilight and I couldn’t stop being the same.” Starlight sighed sadly, her ears flopping to unfortunately match Twilight’s. “I guess I am nothing more than a Twilight Sparkle 2.0. after all, not Starlight Glimmer 1.0.”
Pinkie pointed out cheerfully, “Oh, that’s silly!”
Twilight’s and Starlight’s frown deepened, now filled with hurt.
“Gee, you didn’t have to rub it in, Pinkie,” Twilight said.
“We feel bad enough as it–”
“Oh, no no no. I meant that it’s silly because of course you two aren’t the same.”
“We’re not?” Twilight and Starlight asked, both cocking their heads in opposite directions.
“No! I mean, sure you two are similar, but also different.”
“How?”
Pinkie bounced in place and answered, “Well, besides having a slightly different fur color, one of you has wings, is the Princess of Friendship, loves books, and has been there for us ever since we met. The other is wingless, is a pony that went from stealing our Cutie Marks to becoming a good friend, likes kites, and even saved us from Queen Chrysalis. I wouldn’t want either of you to try to change, because I love you the way you are!”
Rainbow nodded in agreement. “She’s right guys.”
“Yep, and Ah don’t care who says otherwise. You two are each one-of-a-kind,” Applejack said, her voice in a reassuring tone.
Rarity walked to the two unique friends with a smile. “So, if not for yourselves, can you two be the Twilight and Starlight we all know and love, for us?”
“Pretty please?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight and Starlight giggled, with Twilight’s giggle being in a slightly deeper tone than Starlight’s.
“Okay, we’ll be Twilight Sparkle 1.0. and Starlight Glimmer 1.0. again. Sorry about how we acted.” Twilight’s horn illuminated in a magenta color and her jacket, shirt, shades, and necklace floated off her and to the ground. "Besides, Shining Armor would have laughed for months if he saw me talking and dressed like...that."
Starlight’s horn glowed turquoise as her clothes, shades, and necklace levitated off her and was laid beside Twilight’s former attire. ”Yeah, let’s leave how we were acting to those that normally talk and dress that way without it being...weird.”
Twilight smiled warmly to Pinkie. “You might be...random sometimes, Pinkie, but you are a great friend.”
“Eh, I try.”
“Before we put this silliness behind us, I am curious about something. Twilight, what did the ‘O’ in ‘Twilight double 'O' Sparkle’ stand for?” Rarity asked.
“Nothing really. I just thought it sounded cool,” Twilight answered with a giggle. “Though, ‘Twi-money’ sounded good too.”
If Tara Strong & Kelly Sheridan would agree to say Twilight's and Starlight's lines, respectively, of one of my stories, THIS would be the story I'd pick for them! If one or both of you are reading this, please?
Also, don't believe what Pinkie said about me. I don't need a girlfriend! I'm happy being a free man!
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Oh lord, that was hilarious.
This reminds me of the inner-city Hogwarts parody.
This is absurd almost to the point of unbelievability, but
ghettourban Twilight and Starlight is just too good to not like.Now that is some quality content right there :) Really nice and lovely to read!
10512566
Glad to hear you think so!
10512583
Believe it or not, it was a little closer to the unbelievable during most of editing. A late tweak made it a little more believable that it could happen in canon. Either way, gotta love urban Twilight and Starlight
10512625
All right, glad to see you enjoyed it!
I'm surprised Rarity didn't snap and murder them.
I like it already just for the premise alone. Damn it Ember, look what you've done. Although, maybe we should be thanking her for this chain of events.
10513815
Thanks and glad to see you enjoyed it!
10513880
If they had kept it up, Rarity might have laid down some smacks on Twilight and Starlight, if to try to snap them out of it.
10514197
That's a good point. We should both thank and blame Ember for this!
I'M DYING! this was hilarious!!!
10514379
Glad to hear you thought it was hilarious! Not about the dying part, of course
This comment is a W.I.P.
omfg
My thoughts exactly.
I don't pay you to make jokes about your employment, get back to work! Jk, jk...
Not on purpose, but remember the time she went crazy about cleaning everything and made you guys slip and bathe?
10518743
That would depend on if that's a callback to my "Twilight's Bookless Week (Celestia Help Us!!)" story or not. if so, Rainbow wouldn't remember it, since this isn't part of my Eric Reedverse continuity.
Though, if he were there, Eric's reaction would probably be something like "Twilight, how bad did you lose it this time? You're purple, not black!"
10518918
Ah, i see. Yes, it was a callback to that lol.
The rest of my comment:
How did you let Pinkie Pie onto you? I'm docking you a weeks pay for this... Again, jk! Sorry...
"If by that you mean 'very absurd'..." Sorry, I'm an editor, pls don't kill me
10519098
This time, it wasn't one of those errors I let slip through editing. I've seen that type of phase sometimes spoken that way, so it was done on purpose. If it was in narration, I would have had it be more grammatically accurate.
Both that whiny narrator and I know Pinkie Pie does what she feels like, so we don't even try to stop her if she wants to go out-of-character
10519195
Ah, I see.
Lmao
Was that a dragon ball abridged reference I just saw????
10546218
Not a direct reference, but it was inspired by one of Vegeta's lines in part 2 of DBZA episode 60.