Welcome to Recruitment
Contrary to what some would assume, not every part of the E.U.P. Guard is made up of guards for the Equestrian monarchy, despite its nickname of “Royal Guard” being so ubiquitous that many ponies treat it as the official name of Equestria’s force. There must be ponies who handle the paperwork, the administrative work at different levels, including recruiting in ponies to the Guard.
Working behind the desk at the E.U.P. Recruitment Office in the city of Canterlot is one such recruiter, Round-Up. The Light Tangelo Unicorn Stallion was sitting alone at his desk, his two rear hooves resting on it as he sat back, reading the days copy of the Canterlot Times. He was midway through reading a story about the latest local political story, as the sound of an opening door and steps approaching the opposite end of his desk.
“Uh, hello? Excuse me?” a voice called out to him. It was somewhat deep, bit nasally and young, a familiar voice of a young adult lad that Round-Up had already heard variations of ten or more times earlier that morning.
Although he was not a fan of the routine of handing out, collecting and processing forms of ponies wishing for a role more exciting than his own, he was fortunate in how unusually popular the E.U.P. still was even after Princess Twilight Sparkle took over as the new ruler.
“I’m here to apply to the Royal Guard Academy, please” The teenaged voice requested politely. It was not as common of a request, but no less expected if Round Up’s assumptions were correct.
The E.U.P. Royal Guard Academy, its official name, is a prestigious Guard ran University just outside of the city. Pretty much anypony that wants to work as an officer, captain, major, or general, would have to Graduate from there. Not as many ponies apply because of the high entry requirement, but that does not stop the more aspirational or privileged youngsters from signing up.
Round-Up was still fixed on the story in his newspaper, much to the dismay of the youngster on the other side of the desk. “Hey! I want to apply to the Royal Guard Academy, are you gonna give me a form or what?” he asked, a lot more forcefully this time. Whoever this youngster was, he wasn’t as patient or polite as Canterlot folk usually are.
As he sighed and rolled his eyes, shielded only by his newspaper, he turned his desk around to observe the series of drawers. Too lazy to get off his chair, he used his Unicorn magic to zone in on the set of drawers designated to brand new forms. Each drawer would open, and a single sheet from the top of each pile would float towards his field of view, before floating back into the drawer, until he found the correct form: Candidate Questionnaire for the E.U.P. Royal Guard Academy of Equestria.
“Here’s your form, be sure all information is accurate and you meet the general qualifications before filling it out,” said Round-Up, talking as if reciting a script with no character or emotion in his tone as his face remained focused on his newspaper, the form floating onto the surface of his desk. “Come back and hand it in when it’s done, we’ll check it over and if all is good, we’ll send you the paperwork for the next stages.”
All Round-Up could hear was a humph and the paper sliding off the desk, before the sounds of footsteps and the door that signalled the youngster’s departure. Now the office was back in silence, meaning he could read his paper for a moment without interruption.
His eyes focused in on a story of a stallion with a name that felt familiar to him, Spearhead. He recalled how he was in the same Bootcamp as a stallion named Spearhead in his early days, although while Spearhead managed to excel in training and work as a palace guard, Round-Up ended up in infantry before being discharged due to injury and getting a job as a recruiter instead.
Reading the article further, it looks like Spearhead left the Royal Guard to pursue a career as an artist and is about to have his own exhibit at the Canterlot Modern Art Museum. “Hmm… good for him, I guess,” he remarked bitterly. Round-Up couldn’t help but feel that way when some other ponies that went the same path as he ended up with more fun.
As he continued reading, the sound of the doors opening and footsteps could be heard once again. “Here,” said the sound of the youngster from earlier, followed by the sound of paper being smacked onto the wooden surface of the desk.
Round-Up took a glance down at his desk to discover that the Candidate Questionnaire that he had previously passed over was indeed filled in. This raised one of the unicorn’s eyebrows, it was still the afternoon and any other candidate would usually spend a day to make sure that it was filled in properly. He could feel that something was up.
“Alright, let me have a look.”
He used his magic to lift the form off the desk and make it float towards his line of sight to read it. The Candidate Questionnaire has plenty of sections to fill on both sides, mostly to give the Academy a basic idea of some pony's background, as well as their education and any previous military experience.
Sure enough, all the sections that were filled in were nothing out of the usual: the date of birth puts him as being around seventeen, a student at Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship with current residence in Ponyville, current grades good enough for him to pass the first stage of the application, no prior military experience, checked that he intends to also apply for the Foalbright Scholarship.
Although Round-Up had skimmed through the form, he was willing to accept it and let the youngster go away, until he noticed one section had remained empty: Kind of Pony. It was one of the easiest forms to fill, a simple tick underneath Earth, Unicorn or Pegasus, which made it all the stranger why there wasn’t a single tick under any of them.
He had to point it out. “You are aware that you haven’t specified what kind of pony you are, right?”
The youngster was quick but hesitant with his response, “Uh yeah, I don’t know what I should put down for that…”
The recruiter snorted at the absurdity of the answer, an admission he had never heard in his years of being a recruiter. “Seriously?” he muttered to himself, unable to stop himself from feeling smug at the thought. “Look, unless you’re one of the rare Alicorns in the world, I hate to tell you that your chances of getting anywhere near the Royal Guard are pretty slim if you don’t know what kind of po-“
His voice drew out a long trail until he could speak no more as he finally laid eyes on the youngster he was talking to: a creature with bright blue features, across his head, body and wings with a cream underbelly, a bright amber beak in front of his face, front legs having amber talons like an eagle and both hind legs and tail giving his rear the appearance of a blue lion. Round-Up’s eyes remained wide as he discovered that who he was talking to was definitely not a pony.
As he remained stunned, he tried to process why on Equestria this creature was sitting in front of him, his mind debating on whether this was some prank sent by one of his colleagues or a random test given by one of his higher-ups. The former sounded possible, he was sure some other recruiters would get some really strange pony making a visit to freak them out, or at least he would be if he could think of one.
The latter sounded just as plausible though, he was always warned that things might change when you least expect it once Princess Twilight Sparkle becomes the ruler. Who else but his superior would send someone to test some never before seen scenario like a non-pony wanting to join the Royal Guard Academy?
Whatever it was, he had to act quick as the blue feathered youngster was slowly looking more jaded towards him, probably not happy at the smug attitude that was slapped out of him from looking at him. In a desperate attempt to save face, he recalled his training and gave a nervous smile as he tried to form an upright and professional composure.
"W-well as you may be aware, uh…” he quickly glanced down at the application form to find the name of who he was talking to. “…Gallus, the E.U.P. Guard is made up of three… branches… that work together to form Equestria’s force.” He was frantic to find the correct words to replace in his attempt to appear inclusive and helpful, despite his nerves. “Each branch is for a kind of… creature… whose attributes and abilities suit them for both combat and non-combative roles within their branch. As such, it’s a good idea for us to find the right one to avoid any… prob- I mean confusions down the line.”
“Okay…?” Gallus responded, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head at the jittery recruiter in front of him.
Round-Up continued. “Right so… Earth is for ground-based work, these are the kind of guards that do a lot of heavy lifting and moving and are expected to have a lot of stamina and endurance for long distanced travel.” He looked at Gallus’ arms and legs, Earth ponies are bigger than most ponies and show their strength through defined muscles, but this creature didn’t look like he had that much on him. “Would you say you are a heavy lifter?” he was compelled to ask but had a bit of relief when Gallus shook his head.
Then it was the next category: “Unicorn is for magic, these guards are expected to be able to levitate to a strong and stable degree, and good laser projectiles are welcomed although not always necessary. Can you do magic?” Gallus once again shook his head, although Round-Up already assumed that was a more obvious one given the lack of a horn.
“Well, it’s always worth checking… Finally, there’s Pegasus, which is for flying. These guards are expected to be able to fly in any condition, for various kinds of airborne support. Can you fly?”
This time Gallus raised his eyebrow again at what felt like the most obvious answer, but instead of shaking his head, he slowly spread out his dark blue wings, revealing his large wingspan.
It was another obvious one to assume, but the display was enough confirmation Round-Up needed. “Perfect! I’ll put you down as Pegasus.” He grabbed a pen with his Unicorn magic and ticked the box that sat underneath the Pegasus segment of the section, completing the questionnaire. “Well then, we’ll get this processed and if all goes well, you’ll receive all the paperwork needed for the next stage of the application. Welcome to the Royal Guard!” he exclaimed, giving an upright salute as he nervously held his smile.
“Uh, thank you,” Gallus responded, as he slowly turned around and made his way through the door. Once the door shut, and the Recruitment Office was quiet and almost empty once more, Round-Up could finally relax and breath a sigh of relief. He paused for thought at whether the application that was in front of him was real or not.
“Well, I did my job, this is for the Royal Guard Academy to figure out.” He told himself with a shrug. But before he placed the Candidate Questionnaire in with the rest of outgoing applications, he took the pen once more to append the name at the top of the page, where it now reads: Gallus (Griffon)
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Hehey I loved it! Good job.
Yup so gallus wants to become the royal guard and he did he's going to be an awesome guard nice story
I bet once Twilight finds out she will have all the forms updated. Imagine a former changeling applying.
Oh yeah, you go Gallus!
Congratulations on taking the first step, Gallus.
10482041
how does that work?
*former* changeling?
10482101
Post reformation Changeling then? I always saw them as two different species after they went and got all colorful.
Not bad. I always wondered how Gallus took that first step into the world of the Royal Guards.
10482123
Yeah, that's clearer
10482123
10482101
I did actually think about this when writing the story, my headcanon is that after Gallus became an Officer, the Royal Guard opened up to all creatures and replaced assigning "based on kind of pony" to "based on their physical attributes". While Changelings can fly, I figured they'd be more likely assigned to magic because the Royal Guards determined it was their strongest attribute (because of shapeshifting and levitation).
10482214
Or they may still be asked about their attributes. My headcanon is that changelings aren't that good at magic beyond shapeshifting and maybe levitation (I say maybe because the only changelings shown levitating things were Chrysalis and s6e25's fake Twilight. Not even Thorax was shown levitating things), but I'm allowing for a possibility that there could be a spectrum of magical ability similar how it is with ponies. So, for example, Coxa could be a better flier and Elytra could be a better magician.
Edit: changelings would also be the perfect candidates for a Special Operations branch of the Royal guard, assuming there is one
Knowing Gallus, he undoubtedly was reading this recruiter almost like an open book and knew pretty much all throughout that him being a griffon caught him unprepared and by surprise, so much so I'm actually kind of surprised Gallus didn't sass him for it at any point throughout...but then maybe he was trying to restrain himself so to give an adequate first impression and all, considering circumstances.
But I can still just picture all those looks of restrained annoyance Gallus was probably giving him all throughout. I know I would be if I were him.
I'm mildly disappointed the story stopped where it did, but only a little. Were it me writing it, I would've kept going at least a little further so that the recruiter got something more out of the whole situation than "okay, I did my job, it's everybody else's problem now." Maybe something to motivate him to be not caught so off-guard in the future, perhaps, or at least a little more proactive about his job? I dunno. It's a little thing, though--besides that one detail this was a decent enough of a read.
10482321
I was going to say - Changelings are pretty much perfect for intelligence operations of any sort.
Hah! When I've read it first, I've already knew this is gonna get featured!
Well done again!
I knew Equestria was speciesist
I would not mind seeing a continuation of this.
They should update the form by adding something like this:
Other question:
Where would they put an changeling?
Unicorn (they have horns and can do magic) or Pegasus (they have wings and can fly)?
Or what about dragons?
Earth Pony (strong and stamina) or Pegasus (wings)?
I bet after this even the E.U.P. will change name. Either fully embrace the Royal Guard nickname, or take on a generic, all emcompassing name like the Creature Guard or the Friendship Guard. My money is on the latter.
Times change faster than paperwork.
It's a bit of a stretch that he talked to Gallus that long without looking at him. Also, nothing really... happened in this fic. Like, we saw Gallus sign up for the Guard, yeah, but there was no real tension of conflict. Even in a comedy, something has to be at stake, even if it's some dumb sitcom trope of having to have two dates on the same night. Round Up didn't question him as to why a griffon wanted to join the Guard, he didn't try to say a griffon couldn't join the Guard, didn't try and make Gallus prove he was worthy, nothing. It was just, "Oh, a griffon. Bit odd, but whatever."
This also means the title of the story is misleading. It's called "Strange Day At The Recruitment Office," but the day only really became "Strange" in the last 1/3 or so. Everything up until the reveal—which as I said, is put off to almost the point of silliness—was just... A day. Round Up was bored as Hell for most of the fic, which means this day was pretty typical. In universe, most Round Up's day was pretty average. So, in a way, you ended the story right before it could get interesting.
It's a bit of a shame because a lot could have been explored even in a story as short as this. We could have gotten insight as to why Gallus wants to join the military, maybe show off a bit of unintentional racism from Round Up, or really do anything to add some meat to the story. Hell, since this is a comedy, we could have a stinger where right as Round Up goes back to his paper, a friggin' minotaur walks in asking to join!
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, and I hope I don't come across as snide or arrogant, but this story just felt... hollow, for lack of a better term. I walked away almost feeling like I wasted my time. Yeah, the story gave exactly what is says on the tin, Gallus tries to join the Guard, but it was all gristle and no meat. Sorry.
10483111
Actually if they continue to have three branches of the military (like we have the army, air forces, navy, marines, space force) then there isn't a problem with the form as it is. Gallus is signing up for the Pegasus corps. Having the species name in parenthesis after the name also works well. As for a changeling, while intelligence might be a better place for them than any of the standard three branches of the EUP, they might choose any of the three corps depending upon their individual abilities.
NOTE: This would also work for ponies. I mean if Bulk Biceps wanted to join the EUP -- he might choose the earth pony corps.
10482123
I'm currently reading an interesting fanfiction where the bright colorful changelings are the same thing as the black buggy type, the difference is in how well-fed they are.
Anyways, this was a fun little jaunt of a story, and I wouldn't mind seeing a longer bit on how Gallus got through the various hoops.
Now this is creative comedy at its finest! It just has everything a reader could ever ask for, it's perfect! I hope ya didn't mind, but I made a little reading of this beauty of yours!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/KyBoc8ctzXQ
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
10483111
I mentioned this in an earlier comment, my headcanon is that after Gallus became an Officer, the Royal Guard opened up to all creatures and replaced assigning "based on kind of pony" to "based on their physical attributes".
I largely agree with what silvadel said about how creatures could choose which branch to go to if they end up fitting in more than one, so you may have creatures that could only fit into a single branch (i.e. Unicorn for Kirin and Earth for Yak), but others that could fit into multiple. It's much better than my initial thought of changeling going to Unicorn and Dragon into Pegasus.
10482395
10483187
I'll be honest, I didn't expect this story to get as much attention as it's getting. I just wanted to play out a funny scene I had my head, so I accept criticism that the story is too short, simple, or didn't have enough. I do have an idea for a much longer and larger story of Gallus' journey into the Royal Guard but I'm not sure if I'm ready to take on something beyond a short story.
10483492
Understandable. Lately I've been passing by a lot of possible fic ideas myself simply because I don't feel prepared to tackle something of that scope currently, so I hear where you're coming from.
10483292
I love how you names the flippin’ Space Force and not the Coast Guard.
Because no one cares about the Coast Guard.
Interesting little slice of life here. One point of criticism I'd like to mention would be the strange unnecessary capitalization of various words. You only capitalize the first letter of a word if it's the start of a sentence or if it is the name of a character.
10483518
I dunno man, they're pretty fucking cool.
What a lovely light hearted comedy. I had a great time reading this story, the whole thing had me
smirkingsmiling the whole time.10483090
I have to agree, I would love to see a sequel. (But only if your heart is in it Hammerhead.)
This was a good prolouge to how Gallus become a royal guard in the new Equestria under Twilight's rule.
10483009
Points at ponyville before apple bloom went to zecoras at neighsay a clear racsict in charge of education the term everypony need I go on about how racist ponies are
10522826
Just check what happened when a Griffon appeared in Ponyville (Gilda) or a Minotaur (Iron Will), in the end they had problems in Ponyville
10522996
Damn I missed 2 things though Gilda kinda called that on her self
10523128
She was a little angry and sure she made Fluttershy cry, but she was pranked too much by one of her best friends after visiting and in the end her friendship was over
10523273
True that’s just lazy plot writing having her the only pranked one I mean you’d think dash or pinkie woulda grabbed a few pranks to save her from them or give a heads up like.
Yo G I’ve pranked the party avoid this and this
10523280
Instead her friend knowing her for years decide to just throw her away even knowing how she is and what happened.
10523383
so another point ponies are racist which they had to retcon seasons later when a simple letter after they cooled down woulda worked
10523273
10523395
Gilda was mean to more than just Fluttershy (she was also mean to Pinkie who only wanted to spend time with her and Dash for example), Rainbow Dash explicitly said that not all of the pranks were meant for her, and despite knowing Rainbow Dash for years she blamed Pinkie for the pranks and was insulting everyone else.
Rainbow Dash was right to call Gilda out for being a bad friend because she was being mean to all of Rainbow Dash's other friends, and was also right to give Gilda the ultimatum of "be nice to my other friends, or leave".
I don't see that episode as ponies being racist to griffons, none of the ponies showed dislike or fear of her until AFTER Gilda was being mean to them. That episode was about Gilda being a jerk and a bad friend.
10523678
and you killed the joke there but you made good points but alot of other thibgs poibt towards it i fully agree gilda had it coming
10523696
I mean if you want ponies being REALLY racist towards other creatures, look no further than Chancellor Neighsay.
10523702
one of my first examples a clear racist in charge of education meaning kids are taught to be racist the term everypony ponyville before ab went to zecoras
10523678
Don't worry, is just that I like Bashing and Defend the Devil, I know it, but I like to blow it out of proportion, also even Gilda can have a bad idea, if you check how Griffons live, Rainbow Dash should know that Gilda sometimes can be very angry but she was still her friend, a friend who wanted to have some time alone and was interrupted almost every time.
Sure, Gilda was not very respectful to Pinkie Pie, but imagine you have a good friend that you did not see in a year or two, you decide to visit only to find that your friend have new friends, okay no problem, but even so, one of their friends interrupt you everytime you try to be alone with your friend and when you go to a party with your friend after a bad day and you get pranked as Gilda, well... She exploded
10523395
Talking about racism, how many non-ponies you see around Canterlot or Ponyville? What about guards?
And in Princess Twilight friendship school, that is supposed to be friend with others...
Where are the Diamond Dogs, Abyssinians (Cat people), Zebras, Minotaurs or Griffons? Maybe Goats or Centaurs like Tirek? Surely Tirek was not the only of his species, right?
Sure, they have a Yaks, a Hyppogrif and a Dragon but there is more and they are mainly nobility or related not simple 'peasants'
I’m gonna have to echo what 10483187 said. This was an interesting idea. It could have very easily gone to some very fun worldbuildy places or had some really fun comedic twists, but it’s just... a thing. A series of events with no real tension or clearly identifiable purpose. There’s a lot of meat left on the cutting room floor here. So much so that it feels a bit disappointing.
I encourage you to revisit this at some point! There’s a lot you can do on this premise, and I can tell by the quality of what’s written here that you definitely have the chops to pull it off :)
10577317
You have no idea how much the idea has been on my mind since I put this one out...
this is going to be a good story line.
Gallus: "What? Are you waiting for me to chirp?"
I liked it. I like that Gallus is trying his best to not just work himself above the (sadly well-earned) reputation of Griffons in general, but also being an orphan who had one break in his life when Grandpa Gruff sent him to Princess Twilight's school.
Also, I find it ironic how people accuse ponies of being racist because only some non-pony students went to the Friendship School when it was shown they were either allowed to or outright forced by their respective species' ruler. Twilight asked, some said yes—others not saying yes isn't Twilight's fault. That's just silly. What is she supposed to do, abduct a bunch of Diamond Dog pups?
Short sweet and simple. I liked it.
Gonna go read "blue bird" next!
Either use the red and green suggestions...or the yellow one. Nice chapter otherwise.
This was great; I could 'watch' this in my head and loved Gallus' attitude and the pony's befuddled state as they stood there and talked. Nice launch!
10951165
Append is the correct word.