WARNING - THIS STORY(AND DESCRIPTION) CONTAINS SPOILERS PERTAINING TO THE GAME "DARK SOULS" AND ITS DLC "ARTORIAS OF THE ABYSS."
Karen, the Undead warrior named the Chosen Undead by the Primordial Serpent Kingseeker Frampt, successfully passed through time in order to spare Oolacile's Princess Dusk from the Abyss.
But at the moment of his defeat, the Father of the Abyss unleashes one last terrible sorcery - corrupting an entirely new world, in hopes of spreading his Abyss.
The Everfree forest, once dark and foreboding, is now dangerous and evil, teeming with corrupted creatures and Undead spilling out of a rift in the Abyss.
Karen, transported by Manus' final terrible spell, must find her way through Everfree in order to contain the Abyss one final time - and return to Lordran to link the Flame before it's too late.
Woo. Dark Souls and Ponies. My two favorite things evar.
1184029
Could not agree more. I'm going to read this, and damnit I'm going to love it. I'll notify you of errors I find, if any.
Put on my read later list but on another note, does anyone have trouble with blight town because it has made me cry
1206809
5fpstown makes everypony cry the first time around.
Surprisingly, I don't notice a drop in FPS on my PC(any more than normal - you get used to the slight framerate drop through the entire game, it's slightly worse than console)
1206809
Just skip Blighttown? Back entrance FTW!
"what had to be" <- Not sure if that's wrong, but it's definitely weird.
“No!” She shouted <- that "she" shouldn't be capitalized.
Well, damn. An author who knows the difference between "it's" and "its". It's kind of sad that I'm so surprised by this, but I digress. You've got yourself a loyal reader.
1206826
Hay no. If you've never done the entirety of the Depths and Blighttown before, you're missing out on the true Dark Souls experience!
Of course, that means you never have to do it again.
NEVER.
1206886
Hey now, I didn't use the shortcut the first few times. After the fifth character or so, though, Blighttown wasn't any longer worth the effort it expends. So, now, I'll just farm people in Dark Anor Londo to make up for the souls I lose by skipping pretty much half of the game.
1206901
lol
Karen scooped it up with one hoof(heavy thought it was) <- You missed a space there, and it's supposed to be "heavy though it was." I make that typo all the time, as well.
You missed a closing tag for italics. Again, something I've done in the past. Twice, even.
(soon as it fell off of that hollow in Darkroot she’d taken a liking to it) <- The rest of your writing is so... near-flawless that you're making me doubt that the space before brackets is even necessary. Nevertheless, if I'm not sure, I'll tell you.
Shining armor <- Armor is a part of his name as well, you know.
ashes(fire!) <- Think you missed something when revising.
so he sat a moment by it, relishing in the feeling. <- This just needs a completely rephrasing.
It oriented on him, <- ?
walked this new direction <- Should be obvious.
That is all, for now.
1206961
Thank ya kindly, sir.
By oriented I mean that it turned towards him. That is an accepted use of the word, but thank you nonetheless!
1206998
Upon posting the comment, I noticed that it could actually work. Still, if it bothered me, it might bother others. Sometimes, you just have to look further than whether or not a phrase is technically POSSIBLE.
1207006
Actually, it's quite commonly used among the things I read, but I didn't want to accidentally insult you by saying it was "common" (I really don't want to sound all high-nosed, I'm so sorry if it comes across like that)
And if someone is going to turn down my writing because of a single phrase, I don't think I care about whether or not that person likes my writing.
1207019
Eh, you're not insulting me by saying it's common. If I'm wrong, I've learned something new. If you're wrong, the story improves. Win-win, no? Recognizing something as "common" would require me to do a lot of reading on this site, though, which is something I definitely don't do. I'm going to go ahead and stop bothering you with replies now, but only so you can hurry up and write the next chapter.
1207032
Don't worry about "bothering me" - I'm reading a book right now. I also enjoy discourse like this with my readers.
My writing comes and goes with my inspiration - I think I'll probably write later, but no more chapters for any of my stories tonight.
Wait, Spoilers? Dark Souls has a story? Would explain why I am just randomly walking places for the hell of it. Why would someone go to Blighttown exactly?
Wait, YOU ALREADY BEAT THE DLC :O
HOW
just saying, i would love to see shining armor fight ornstein and smough and to see someone INVADE shining armor, i would love it.
1208157
I may do some side chapters if my mind wills it, but I hadn't planned on bringing them here. This character has done everything in Dark Souls except defeat Gwyn.
1207416
Time. I did my usual DEX/END/FTH build and worked my way through. Beat the DLC at level 72. It sucked. I recommend going in at no lower than 90 if you want a nice time of it.
1208331 I mean because Dark Souls hasn't been on PC THAT long. You must do late nighters. Still, I was massivly held back by the fucking bell gargoyles, those guys are complete assholes, and the hardest boss for a long time. With me at Blighttown now, no boss has been nearly as hard, except for the bridge dragon, which I chose to just skip. Especcially the fucking gaping dragon (AKA the vagina demon) which I beat on my 2nd try (first try I went in with half curse health and no estus flasks, and I almost won, second time I was on full cursed health and 3 estus flasks, so easy fight) and the Moonlight Butterfly (Butterfree) was nothing for a decent player.
1208404
Actually, I was only about thirty hours in when I beat the DLC. I've done a lot of playthroughs, so I know the little shortcuts and little things that make the game easier. I hopped through the Parish pretty easy (Hint - always use a 100% physical block shield, it makes the gargoyles a cinch, not to mention summoning Solaire) and skipped the Depths after rescuing Laurentius and getting the ember.(I've only ever fought the Gaping Dragon twice in my many playthroughs) and ran though 5fpstown pretty easily after summoning a Sunbro and Maneater Mildred.
It's all a matter of knowing what to do. You need help somewhere, just PM me.
1208489 I couldn't summon solaire, despite having talked to him all the way through and being human, and I DO have a shield that prevents all physical damage, the real trouble was fighting the gargoyles while the other essentially protects the other with a wall of fire. I had to level my short sword up to 5+ so I could kill the first gargoyle before the second could arrive. Those gargoyles set me back 7 hours to beat. With all other areas combined adding up to 6 hours.
BTW, why is the longsword such a useless piece of shit even when upgraded, short sword is better in every respect, including damage and speed.
EDIT: wtf is 5fps town? I heard Blighttown has the worst FPS, and I'm getting 20 fps at the worst on it.
On the console, Blighttown often falls to incredibly low FPS when you look at the busiest part of it. A common name for it is "5fpstown" because it drops SO MUCH.
I've noticed that they fixed it on the PC version.
You want to continue this convo, please do it in messages
. What's your build?
Cool. Managed to write more. Sleep nao, bye.
Found no errors or oddities this time. Also, it's nice to see that NEITHER of them have a clue of where they are. Here's eagerly awaiting chapter 3!
I saw this and thought no way someone actually did this. I read it and so far liking it, hope to see more....fav
Prepare for Ponies gets a much-needed and well-overdue update. This is going to be sparsely updated people, and I'm going to try to be better about it, but I make no promises. Hard to get inspiration for it.
You mistakenly capitalized a few dialogue tags with speaking verbs in them. I haven't read the whole thing yet because I'm in class with about four minutes to go now, but will pick up where I left off in about half an hour-an hour. Most common instances of this mistake occur at "She/He said".
Other than that, great as always. I love how you're sticking to Dark Souls lore.
Ah Kalameet! The boss that can ever give Artorias a run for his money. Looking forward to see more!
1504196
Ugh. I beat Artorias the first time I fought him - Kalameet took me seven tries.
1504395
About the same here, getting the tail proved challenging, but doable as well. Manus... why didn't they tell me the tail wasn't cuttable! I died so many times trying.
1184029 You are my HERO
!!! I'm surprised you didn't go with Sif but this is good to 
This looks interesting... Not really, but hey, it is the prologue.
I've been trying to think of what they are when they lose their humanity. I mean, everyone says "Well you aren't hollow" and you are still undead when you have humanity. Are you only hollow if you are insane?
Wow, either that is incredibly stupid, or a very bad idea. fighting blind,,,
And then he was stuck in that room with the snake, dying until our friend finally found him.
14 weeks since this update? Oh the irony, I found this when I looked for another Dark Souls crossover, I was wondering what had happened to it, or if I had unfavored it.
Will this be updated?
2063010
When you're hollowed, look at your face. You don't have eyes.
Sometime. Honestly, of the four stories I've got going, it's lowest on the list.
2150162
You would
Sweeeeeeeeeeet this is good. Tracking/favourited!
I was ify about this story, but i think that if you get some great pre-readers, update more often "but i see why it takes you a while like you said its hard for you to find inspiration " and thats were asking for help comes in. in all honesty though really great story i can see this going far. So good luck with your story.
hmmmm...
Shining got Havels armor and Havels ring, yet she uses Favor and protection and hawk ring. Not to mention Orenstiens. I ditched boss armor before four kings, and went Black Iron and farmed the shit out of clams for twinkling titanite for a full +5 black iron set. working on paladins set(not including sanctus.) and i ditched favor about a quarter through the game. now I use critical ring, Havels, and I also use zweihander and silv knight strt. sword with sunlight shield.
Also, its Artorias of the Abyss
Finally
I know exactly how you feel. I also have trouble writing fighting scenes. I'm also doing a dark souls crossover, and I would appreciate it if you could stop by and give it a try. "When will it end?"
I was hoping this was good, but then I saw the Dark Souls going pony thing... Fuck this. Don't know why, I just hate that. Humans are above equines, sentient or not. It's like a downgrade in life itself. I mean, how the hell is a giant dad going to wield his damn lightning zweihander +5 with hooves huh? How? The legend never dies. If this happens, it it now officially dead. THAT CAN'T HAPPEN! IT'S A PARADOX! I'm okay with the pony in Dark Souls thing, because it's their original form. You don't just take that from someone. I shall read on only because I can't wait to see Shining fucking die for the first time. It'll be like Kenny accept he'll actually care.
I was wrong. This is an okay story. It better fucking have Siegmeyer. Siegmeyer is awesome and I cried when he died. His battle cry sent shivers down my spine. He is definitely an honorable knight of mention, even though he solved his problems through waiting.
It's actually Chaos Zweihandler now.
I can't guarantee you'll like Siegmeyer being in this.
I'd Prefer it if we have a phantom appearance of Black Iron Tarkus so we can all shout "TARKUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" at the top of our lungs as he rapes everything in a half mile radius.
2958162Well the reason why he hollows is actually interesting. See he goes their confident in himself and thus is able to resist the hollowing effects with his confidence in his prowess and his adventurous spirit. Then this random guy comes along and then the big gate opens up so he goes through it. Then he gets stopped by a trap (aka the boulder thing in sens fortress). Then the same random guy comes along and removes that obstacle for him. Then as he undoubtedly dies and comes back multiple times which would normally erode ones sanity and humanity. Seig is able to keep going but then he meets the same undead in anor londo who defeats his enemies for him and shows him up. This removing his confidence. Next He goes on one final adventure without his confidence in himself but still retaining his adventurous spirit. Then he realizes he did not prepare and he has to rely on the SAME guy to cure him of his poison thus sparing his life. Next he goes to lost izalith and he sees a room full of dangerous enemies and this is where he meets the undead for the last time. He owes this undead a GREAT debt and so to reclaim his confidence in himself he valiantly sacrifices himself for the undead to repay his debts. Now if he dies, he dies with confidence in himself and content, but if you save him then you have just tore asunder all of the things keeping him from going hollow. and equally as worst, destroyed his adventurous soul because he now realizes he is in a place where he needs to rely on somebody, and he is not fit to fight their either. So he loses himself to the madness and his daughter kills him for the last time. It is even mentioned by his daughter that they have met and that she had to kill him once which means that he was already losing his sanity. You helping him and removing his obstacles and saving his life was the final straw.