• Published 18th Oct 2020
  • 284 Views, 6 Comments

But I Really Do Have Feelings - Clearnote



When Wind Whistler flew to Ponyville, she thought that she would be accepted.

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Chapter 3

I woke up feeling numb, like my nerves were dead. Then I felt it.

The pain surged through me and I screamed in agony. An alicorn stared into my eyes, looking worried.

Twilight.

I couldn't help but keep screaming from all the pain. When I used all of my strength to lift my head a little, I saw it all.

The blood.

I was bleeding from many wounds, especially my right forehoof's. I was practically as red as Moondancer's mane and tail! This was so bad, that even the other ponies would not laugh at me. No one could laugh at this.

Twilight carried me with her magic, talking. A lot of talking.

"I'm taking you to the hospital. They can fix you, I think. No, no, no, not think, I know. You did crash through my floor though, and it's a wonder you survived at all. Don't worry, don't worry...''

------☯------

I woke up, feeling sore and exhausted. There were large casts around most parts of my body, and my legs were all in the air, hung by strings attached to the casts. I could barely move. A pony walked in. He was a unicorn, with a light amber coat and a brown mane and tail.

"My name is Doctor Horse. And you must be Wind Whistler," he said. I couldn't nod. I was too tired. So I just stared.

"You've been getting better since your little fall, though you have lost a lot of blood."

I rolled my eyes, but only in my imagination. I was so tired.

"You will live," he said. "But you will have to wear bandages on your leg forever; it isn't getting better. If you don't like that, we can amputate it."

My eyes widened. What?!

I barely listened to the rest of what Dr. Horse had to say, but it was along the lines of 'you will limp forever'. This day just keeps getting better and better. That's when I see the calendar hanging up by the window.

It's been 16 days.

I passed out 16 days ago and only just woke up?

All hope of ever going home leaves me. For all I know, there might be no way to send me back now. I look around for Twilight, but she is nowhere to be found. When Doctor Horse leaves my room, I feel more alone than I ever have.

More than when I'm being teased. I'd rather be teased by the ponies back home than be permanently bandaged and limp forever. I usually don't fly as much as the other pegasi, who are usually almost always in the air. Even if I go home, they will see my injuries, my limp.

They'd cast me out.

So much I would give to have none of this ever happen! I would be home, not injured, and being teased. Being teased is better than this though. I'd never thought that I would ever say something like that.

I break into quiet sobs.

------☯------

I wake to the sound of birds chirping. My eyes flutter open. I'm still in the hospital bed, alone. Oh, well. I feel better than yesterday, I must be healing. That's a good thing.

A purple alicorn walks in. Twilight! She gallops over once she sees that I'm awake.

"You're awake!" she cries. "They said you were up a week ago, but when I came, you were asleep! And now you're up!"

I was asleep for another full week?!

I hold back my tears and force a smile.

"I'm so glad that you're here," I manage to get out. It's hoarse and shaky. As if it was dying.

"Oh? Why's that?" she asks me. It isn't angry or shocked. It's kind and peaceful. She gets a little closer to me. Her presence is very gentle, even though she had once asked me a question so demanding that it scared me.

I tell her about my situation. When I get to the part about seeing her for the first time, I even begin to cry. She is sympathetic.

"We'll get you home," she says. I want to feel happy, but for some reason, I don't.

------☯------

One month later.

I've been out of the hospital for a week now. During my stay at the hospital, we made somewhat of a plan. When I got out, I apologized to Sassaflash and Sprinkle Medley. They didn't mind. They gave me hugs, and that made me feel a little better. Soon I would leave if Twilight's spell worked. I am excited, and am oddly fast, though I would be faster if not for this dragging limp.

As I walk through town, overjoyed, everypony starts looking at me.

One pony calls, "Hey feelingless pony! Trying to see what it's like to have emotions?"

Everypony else, except for Sassaflash and Medley, who are following me, laugh. My spirits plummet. My friends are trying to cheer me up, but their voices are drowned out by the laughter.

"P-please... cease you tri-trills..." I manage to crack out.

That only makes the names come out.

"Feelingless!" "Emotion-Hater!" "Nerd!" are shouted from all around. Tears roll down my face. More and more. They never stop. All of my good feelings are gone. I lower my head and trudge along the path. My hooves feel heavy, like they are made of stones.

I don't care where I'm headed. I really don't care anymore. One step after another. When I look up, I see that I'm not in Ponyville anymore. The laughing is gone. I sit down and just sob. Sassaflash and Medley see me, but they know that it'd be best if they left me alone, so they do.

It's a cool day. There's a slight breeze, ruffling the leaves on the trees. I hear a bird chirp, but it's far away. It reminds me of the day I was brought here. My crying is reduced to sniffles. When I look around me, all I see is this world. This weird, odd, illogical world.

This world that is not for me.