• Published 13th Oct 2020
  • 6,000 Views, 38 Comments

Starlight is Being Weird - EdBoii



Starlight devises a new method of transportation. Twilight is having none of it.

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Celeeestiaaa Starlight is being weeeird

Twilight Sparkle stared at her former pupil and headmare of the School of Friendship in disbelief. Out of all the things Starlight had done—and it was a long, eccentric list—this one had to be the weirdest by far. She didn't know what to say. Heck, she didn't know how to even begin to process the sight before her eyes.

"So what do you think, Twilight?" Starlight said, cradled in the arms of some weird, tall alien. "You know you can always be honest with me."

The princess of friendship blinked twice. She rubbed her eyes. Blinked again.

Nope, it was still there.

"Starlight," she began, and very soon found that she just didn't know what in pony heck to say. Starlight Glimmer shifted a little in the arms of the creature—green all over with a question mark for a face—and raised her eyebrow.

"Yes?"

Twilight made an effort to say something, anything, but it was all she could do not to banish the thing on the spot. Starlight had sent a letter to her just that morning telling her of a revolutionary new transportation method she had discovered, sure, but she could never have imagined that it would be something so... weird.

"Darling if I may," Rarity ventured, seated on her chair around the cutie map. They all were. "Just what is that... creature?"

"Well, I'm glad you ask!" Starlight said, and produced a scroll. The creature immediately held it open for her. "This is my newest discovery. A revolutionary new way to not only travel, but also relax, socialize, and de-stress after a long day of work.

"Allow me to demonstrate!" She nodded to the creature and it began to scratch behind her ears with its long, strong fingers. Starlight giggled. Twilight's eye twitched.

"I hate it," she said.

"Hold on just a moment there," Applejack said. "What do you mean 'de-stressing'?"

Starlight beamed, leaning into the scratches. "According to my testing, utilizing my discovery is guaranteed to lower work-related stress levels by a minimum of 55% on the average pony! In just the first week!"

"You've tested this on other ponies?" Twilight gritted her teeth. "What even is that thing?!"

Applejack rubbed her chin. "55, huh? Those are some mighty impressive figures you got there."

"Yes!" Starlight nodded. "It's also super relaxing."

Rarity cocked her head to the side. "Relaxing you say? Why, I could certainly do with some relaxation. The amount of work I've been dealing with lately is absolutely overwhelming at times!"

"What." Twilight turned to look at her friends. "Neither of you can be serious right now. You're not. This isn't happening. What the heck is that thing?! Why is it green? Why the suit? Celestia's liquid mane, what in pony heck is going on here?!"

"Aaaand it's great for napping!" Starlight's creature was rubbing her back. She had her head cupped on his hand and was looking straight at Rainbow Dash.

The pegasus made a face. "I dunno. My clouds look a heck of a lot more comfy than those," she said, pointing to the fingers. In response, the creature booped Starlight's nose.

"But it's napping on the move!" she said. "You can keep going about your day without having to slow down at all, and still have time to nap. It's like, 20% more nap-to-activity-ratio efficient!"

"Huh." Rainbow hovered over to the creature and poked its bald, green head. "You sure?"

"Totally!"

Rainbow shrugged. "I'm sold."

Twilight stared, mouth agape, as Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack and the others all converged around Starlight's monster. The world had gone nuts.

"This is getting out of hand, Spike," she said. "We need to call in some reinforcements."

Spike groaned. This was supposed to be his day off.


Princess Luna entered the map room some thirty minutes later.

"Thou hast summoned me, Princess Twilight?" she asked, as the doors parted to reveal a most unusual sight.

In the map room were seated seven ponies. Six of them were being cradled by tall, bipedal creatures in dark business suits. Green, expressionless faces with nothing but a black question mark on them turned to face her.

"What in pony heck is going on here," Luna said.

Twilight rushed over to her side, eyes wide, hyperventilating.

"Princess Luna, thank Cele- uh, thank you, you're here. Hehe." She cleared her throat. "We have a problem."

"I can... see that." Luna looked from one pony to the next. Rainbow Dash was fast asleep in the arms of her creature as it ran a comb through her mane. Rarity and Fluttershy both waved at her from between the arms of their respective humans. Applejack offered a hearty 'Howdy!' as her green being alternated between caressing her cheek and rubbing her back. Pinkie Pie was sitting on the head of her creature, beaming widely, talking non-stop. Thankfully, the princess had learned long ago how to tune her out. Mostly.

Then there was Starlight Glimmer, looking on proudly at what Luna could only presume was her doing.

"Starlight is being weird, princess!" Twilight was shaking. Starlight was smiling. Luna felt very weird.

"Starlight Glimmer," the princess of the night began. "Would you mind telling me what these are?"

Starlight shrugged. "I can tell you what they're not," she said. "They're not dull company while working night shifts. And they come in size large."

Luna looked at Twilight. Twilight looked at Luna, a pleading, desperate look in her eyes. Luna looked at Starlight.

"Size large, you say?"


Twilight Sparkle wrote furiously. Celestia would help. She had to.

Dear Princess Celestia,

HELP. Green creatures in suits. Starlight is being weird. Everypony is doing it now. Please help. They're EVERYWHERE.

Love,

Princess Twilight Sparkle.

PS: HURRY please.


Twilight rushed down the castle stairs as soon as she saw Celestia's chariot arrive. If there was anypony out there who could stop this madness, it was her. She had to. Racing past her converted friends and a beaming Starlight, Twilight entered the castle throne room and made for the exit. Luna was there, cradled in the arms of one of the creatures—much bigger than the others, so he could hold the alicorn easily in his arms. She felt sick to her stomach.

She slammed the castle doors open and gasped in horror.

"Hello, Twilight," Celestia said, held up by two of the green creatures in a litter. A third one was brushing her hair, while a fourth offered her a slice of cake. "Have you seen Starlight? I wanted to thank her for this wonderful idea she pitched me the other day!"

Twilight's howl of agony was heard throughout Equestria.

Comments ( 38 )

kkkkkkk

so starlight created anon?

This pleases me immensely.

10480331
Your comment is received with gratitude, brother. The Emperor Protects!

Thank you for this short, joyful fic! Starlight is the best :D
And I loved all the reactions of them.
Poor Twilight xD

10480389
Thank you for taking the time to read it! :3

Just a small critique on the description, i think you meant devises, because devices are "a thing made or adapted for a particular purpose, especially a piece of mechanical or electronic equipment". I pulled that from google definitions, think you meant devises, which means to plan or invent. Great short story, though!

10480443
Many thanks! Today I have learned a thing. :rainbowkiss:

Really, considering Twilight's exposure to the EqG world, it makes sense that being surrounded by color swaps of The Question would creep her out!

Normally I am just not that into the whole Anon thing, but....this. This is a hilarious exception to said Rule!

There's several major plot holes here. One, if Starlight is Headmare for the School of Friendship, then Celestia and Luna are no longer princesses. Only Twilight is. Unless this is her being too stupid to remember that.

Then there's the green elephant in the room. Twilight KNOWS what a human is. She's been one the longest of anypony living in Equestria. How is she missing this? Lay as fuck green rippoffs are still human last I checked.

10480669
Very wise and true observations! I must strive to more thoroughly check myself before I Shrek myself in future endeavors. Thank you!

Well then... I’ll just be over here... contemplating what I just read

10480582
I vote that we should have an "Anon" story tag, and if a writer names the human "Anon," then they have to use that tag and cannot use the "Human" tag.

Starlight is being weird... I've actually never read any stories involving the "Anon" character, so this was definitely interesting. I wonder how Starlight was able to create so many of them. *shudders*
Nice little story, though. :)

No but seriously why the business suit?

:trollestia:

10480669
Humans have eyes, not question marks.

Also this story could take place in the (admittedly narrow) gap in Season 9 between Starlight being Headmare (episode 20) and Twilight being named princess of the land (episode 24/25).

Also it’s probably just not the sort of story where you should be worried about such things.

"I hate it," she said.

This is so retarded, but kinda funny.

And thus was humanity enslaved to mind-control spells.

Perfectly random, perfectly adorable, perfectly written, and perfectly amazing! Every aspect of this short story is so cute and super flippin' enjoyable to read! I hope ya didn't mind, but I made a lil' reading on this fic of yours!

Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/uVSslbuBeps

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

10481790
This is so cool! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. :rainbowkiss:

10481024
It is a mystery we may never solve!

10481017
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :3

Huk
Huk #23 · Oct 14th, 2020 · · ·

In the sequel, Twilight will be running for her life, trying to get away from the clutches of the greenish creature... But in the end, she'll fail, getting boops and scratches... EVERYWHERE :rainbowwild:

May God have mercy on her soul... because the writer sure won't :trollestia:

A mobster gets his hooves on this, and we have Slenderman.

The anons are invading. This is how they will subjugate Equestria.

Happened to stumble across this story at complete random. I adored the silliness of it and Twilight’s grip on her sanity slowly slipping away with each passing scene. Soon she’ll be back to what she was near the end of Lesson Zero :rainbowlaugh:

This is a hilarious parody of the anon trope

Pfft. So Starlight rescued a ton of Anons from different timelines and brought them here so they could snuggle with ponies. Cute.

10481031
Too bad for people who say that, I'm not the kind of person to ignore the obvious plot hole (or even just the one if this is before Twilight takes over from Celestia and Luna).

Question marks for eyes doesn't take away from the rest which is human. Twilight should know that. Starlight should know that. They know what it's like being one.

"Allow me to demonstrate!" She nodded to the creature and it began to scratch behind her ears with its long, strong fingers. Starlight giggled.

Spike could do that. Applejack knows he can.

10484050

It's also child labor in Spike's case, plus the whole claws things.

Anons are much better at it anyway. And given AJ's reaction to Spike, that's something.

"Size large, you say?"

Haha +1

I have so many questions yet so little words to form them...

"Casually adds to Nice Stories folder"

10505186
It's supposed to make you feel... well, I would say something but really I have no idea what this is I'm feeling.

Well, this was fun. Starlight being weird, Twilight being Twilight. Can't ask for more than that.

Great story! Pretty funny, but basic at the same time. It's perfect; I love it!
:twilightsmile:

Well now that's just great!:rainbowlaugh:
We have endless Anon's to pamper the Ponies...wait a minute, YESSS
Actually, LOL NO, but seriously Twilight is going nuts because she is afraid of something that Starlight has done which is 100% unknown aka US HUMANS. GG this is quality!

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