Sunset was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking around the small room that had become her home over the past two weeks. She was excited to go home and finally regain some sense of normalcy, but deep down she knew she'd miss this place. Despite the grim realities that had put her here, she had enjoyed her time in the hospital. Doctor Frosted Heart was much kinder than her name suggested, but she didn't sugar coat or coddle the way other doctors might have. Sunset appreciated that. The few nurses she'd gotten to know were less personal with her, but that was understandable.
Her bags were packed of the few personal belongings she had here, mostly clothes and books her old friends had brought. At the thought of... them, Sunset sighed. Her mood immediately soured. Almost as if sensing the change in her emotions, the door swung open. She didn't have to turn to know who it was. The harsh clip of her hard bottomed shoes was enough to identify Doctor Frosted Heart. Sunset smiled to herself, thinking about how similar her footsteps were to the clip clop of pony hooves before turning to the guest.
"Doctor," she acknowledged with a polite bow of her head. Frosted Heart snorted and lightly nudged Sunset's shoulder.
"How many times have I told you, just Frosted Heart is fine." she scolded, face looking serious but twinkling eyes betrayed her mirth. Sunset let out the most dramatic sigh she could muster and flopped back against the thin mattress as Frosted Heart took her usual seat beside the bed.
"And how many times have I told you..." Sunset pointed an accusing finger at the doctor. "that if you worked hard enough and managed to earn the title of doctor, you should use it!" she puffed out her cheeks slightly, a glare creasing her brow. Frosted Heart merely shrugged and chuckled. Sunset sighed and covered her eyes with a forearm as her doctor flipped through a few sheets of paper.
"It seems like everything is in order for you to go home, we just need you to sign a few documents up at the front and make sure you get your prescribed medications..." the pale woman gazed at the papers for a few more moments before looking back to Sunset. "Your friends are here to see you again..." she started gently.
"No." Sunset's voice cut through the room like a blade, harsh and final. Frosted Heart sighed lightly, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers.
"I just don't understand, Sunset. You seemed fine hearing them out and even hugging them when you wo-"
"I was also so hopped up on pain meds that I could barely think." Sunset cut her off again, sitting up and facing away from her caretaker. After a moment's silence, a cool hand pressed against Sunset's shoulder.
"You already know what I think. Your refusal to talk to them is just your was of hiding from facing your attempted suicide." Blunt as always, but also painfully accurate. Sunset knew she couldn't win this argument, so she just stayed silent. Finally, she heard Frosted Heart stand. "Alright, well it's about time for you to go home. I'll walk you to the front and get you your meds. However, I'm afraid I won't be able to protect you from your friends when you're off hospital grounds." she pointed out with a wry smile as Sunset gathered her bags. Sunset swallowed thickly, anxiety curling hot in the pit of her stomach. She'd known that of course, but the reality was much more frightening. As if sensing the girls distress, she felt the doctors hand lay itself comfortingly on her shoulder. Sunset closed her eyes and brought a hand to her chest as she inhaled deeply, moving it out as she blew the air and anxiety away. It was an old, comforting motion Celestia had taught her. The thought of sunny days spent learning with her old mentor brought a smile to her face. Turning to Frosted Heart, her grin widened into one of confidence.
"I'm ready."
~~~~~~~~~~
After a few signatures and one last hug to Dr. Frosted Heart, Sunset strolled out the hospital’s front doors. Her suitcase rolled beside her and a bottle of pills meant to help balance her emotions rattled against her silenced phone in her pocket. She blinked once in the blinding sunlight, holding up a hand to deflect the light. Her eyes anxiously wandered the parking lot and her heart got caught in her throat. Across the lot in a small patch of grass sat five girls, and they had spotted her. SUnset froze like a deer in the spotlights, unsure if she should try to run or finally face the girls. Before she could decide, Fluttershy stood from the pink blanket they were sat on and smoothed out her long skirt before making her way to Sunset.
A gentle smile on her face, she held her hands out to Sunset. The normally bold girl now trembled, her hands stuck half way between laying at her sides and taking Fluttershy's grip.
"Please," Fluttershy murmured under her breath. Two pairs of teal eyes met and in that moment, deep in her heart, Sunset knew she'd never be able to stay angry at her kind hearted friend. Choking back a sob, Sunset flung her arms around the frail girl who gripped her back with equal determination.
Sunset clung to her desperately, hands gripping the fabric of her soft sweater. She sobbed into the familiar silken pink curls, relishing in the feeling of letting go of even just a small bit of her resentment. Fluttershy stroked a hand down Sunset's back, comforting her with small words of encouragement.
'It's ok,'
'Just let it out'
'I'm here for you'
Those words alone did wonders for Sunset, who quickly pulled herself together and wiped at her eyes and nose with a sleeve.
"Of all the times for me not to have a tissue, this might be the worst." Fluttershy giggled, a small hand coming up to hide her mouth. Sunset laughed with her and although it was small, it was the first genuine laugh she'd had in weeks. Reaching out and pulling Fluttershy's hand away from her mouth, Sunset gripped it in both of hers. A light flush rose up her neck as she spoke.
"Thank you, Flutters." she said genuinely, looking into the soft eyes of her friend. Pink rose to Fluttershy's cheeks and she smiled back, lightly gesturing back to the group in a silent question. Gripping her suitcase, Sunset nodded and allowed herself to be led by the hand to the other four girls.
They all watched as she approached and sat, taking a seat next to Fluttershy, who kept a comforting hand over Sunset's. Pinkie smiled slightly as she sat, holding out a plate to her. On it sat a small cake, expertly decorated to resemble a sunrise painted sky. On the top in red icing were the words, 'We Love You, Sunset!'. Staring at the cake, Sunset sighed long and low. After a moment, she finally spoke.
"I can't forgive you all." she said bluntly. The tension in the air deflated, but not in the way they'd wanted. "At least, not yet. I'm so-" she cut herself off, stopping herself from apologizing. She clenched her hands into fists as all of her words and emotions she'd kept bottled up got caught in her throat. Fluttershy soothingly squeezed her hand and Sunset took another deep breath. "I'm hurt, and I'm so... so angry that sometimes I don't know what to do. For weeks I sat alone and thought, 'was it all just an act? Were they just pretending to like you?'"
Rainbow Dash sat forward, brows furrowed and mouth open, but Rarity placed a hand on her leg and shook her head, stopping her before she could cut Sunset off. Sunset waited until Rainbow had settled before continuing. "This just grew worse and worse. What if everyone hated you? Were their smiles fake? I became paranoid every day. Everyone I saw on the streets, I thought 'they know, they have to know! They hate you', and I had no one to talk these fears out with. Back across the portal, in the other world, in Equestria, I never had... real friends. I had never experienced friendship before you five, and when everything happened, I had no idea how to deal with it. And then I just spent days laying in bed with these voices getting louder and louder and it just... well, you guys know what happened." she finished with a weak humorless chuckle. It was a few seconds before anyone spoke up.
"We're sorry, Sugarcube," Applejack started, unsure of what else to say. She cringed when Sunset laughed, a bit of anger seeping into her demeanor.
"Oh wow, great! You're sorry. No, you say 'I'm sorry' when you bump into someone on the street. You say 'I'm sorry' when you accidentally break someone's lamp. You don't say 'I'm sorry' when you push your friend to attempt suicide!" she finished with an almost snarl. Rainbow Dash quickly came to her friends defense.
"Hey, that's not fair!" she started. "You can't just not let her apologize!" Sunset stared at her, mouth slightly agape but eyes squinted. Anger rose in Sunset Shimmer and she stood up abruptly, sending a few nearby birds scattering. She leaned down slightly, a finger pointed at Rainbow Dash who stared stubbornly back at her.
"You," she hissed through clenched teeth. "You have lost the right to ever tell me what I can or cannot do." Her anger rolled off of her in waves. Rainbow, ever the stubborn one, stood up as well despite the other girl's shouts of protest.
"And what gives you the right to talk down to me like that!?" she shouted back at Sunset. The other four quickly stood as Applejack and Rarity each took one of Rainbow's shoulders and Pinkie and Fluttershy moved almost protectively in front of Sunset. Sunset just crossed her arms, glaring coldly at her former friend.
"You did." she said, voice chilled and emotionless. "The moment you showed your true colors and threw one of your friends out into the snow with no evidence against her and told her to never come back." Rainbow deflated slightly, but the last blow was a final, scathing comment made over Sunset's shoulder as she turned to leave.
"What a great show of Loyalty that was."
You go Sunset, they deserve to be put into place for what they did and made you end yourself.
When was she in a hotel?
No, don’t hold her back.
Ok, I know Sunset going through a moment, but she would have to fight me. On top of that I would have said some hurtful sh*t back.
Burned.
Ahh... Good girl Sunset. Now turn into a demon AND BURN THEM INTO OBLIVION.
10509657
Thank you for pointing that out! It’s meant to say hospital lol
Boom goes the cannon.
Is was suppose to be way?
Also really loving the chapter and the realism of it.
(sigh) Rainbow Dash, why must you always be so stupid AND stubborn? I mean Sunset has every right to feel that way towards you and the others!
Really hope they stay unforgiven!
You accidentally capitalized the u in Sunset. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it deer in headlights?
Great chapter! I was worried she was just going to forgive them for a second there, but thankfully, this story didn't go that route.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sHoGzFYfyw
Now we just need a BITCH SLAP from shy.
You want some ointment for that burn, Dashie?
Well played, Sunset. Well played indeed.
Welp. Im probably gonna catch some flak for this.
Sunset's choice was made by her and her alone. They did not make her attempt suicide. That is a choice she made on her own.
This does not excuse the actions of the five in the slightest. What they said was unwarranted, baseless, and overall cruel. They do not deserve sympathy for Sunsets completely justified rejection. However, the only person who can control her actions is herself. I think this is an important distinction, because if Sunset can't hold herself accountable for her own actions then she will only get worse in the long run.
10519743
Thank you for bringing that up! I'm planning for a main plot point to be Sunset learning to hold herself accountable for what she's done!
Good work! Enjoying the rewrite.
10520961
You better have the other hold themselves accountable for being failures of friends.
i don't agree with what was explained earlier.
but that my thoughts, they still hurt her and hurt her good, they shown they they never truly forgave her.
that they lied to themselves.
10519743
that's...kinda cold and tactless.
think about it, if Anon-A-Miss event never happened, Sunset would never have any reason to commit suicide.
But the event did happen, the Crusaders, Rainbooms, and everyone who accused her of being Anon-A-Miss drove her to the edge. While it's true Sunset did choose to kill herself, but all it takes is a REASON to do so.
the Crusaders and Rainbooms ARE that reason.
10588156
Cold? To be honest yea it kinda is. The sad truth of life is that the people you trust are going to hurt you at some point. We are all flawed and that means we come into conflict with each other for reasons we may or may not consider justified. What other people do doesn't matter so much as your reaction to it.
If everyone who was hurt as Sunset has in this story was to react in such a manner, we would lose a lot of good people. Heck a lot of people already do. But if you can take that pain and move forward you will be a much better person for it. It's not an easy thing to do, I know what its like to lose the trust of those close to you. But in the end,
You are who you chose to be.
Updates?
10639620
Working on the new chapter now. Sorry for the random hiatus!
10588188
Your spitting facts right now and I appreciate that some people understand that no matter how much someone hurts you it’s YOUR choice if you commit or attempt to commit suicide.
They may have driven you to it but your the one who stepped off the cliff in the end.
to be fair, rd is more of a muscle head than loyalty.