What began with an off-beat idea to make dildos from beans, after a journey spanning years, has led our heroines here, to a pivotal confrontation at a simple house party. This gathering is cut short in the last way Sunset Shimmer would have expected: with the mighty Beanos rising at last, her dread machinations plunging the world into turmoil. As an army of beandroids descend upon Canterlot City, sowing the seeds of despair as well as the seeds of actual bean plants, Sunset can no longer stand idle. Once more united under a common cause with her old friends, and some old enemies, the final battle for Twilight Sparkle’s soul is nigh.
The conclusion to the timeless tale of the Beanis, in the only way that makes sense: with giant anime robots. A Gurren Lagann pastiche, no prior knowledge of the show is required. So, no, the title is not a typo.
Aw shit
Here we fucking gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I mean, trying to apply sense to the Beanisverse is clearly a lost cause, but going full TTGL is the inevitable end result of such things so...
Sparkle had to get it from somewhere.
That's Spike in a nutshell, really. He's the solution to virtually all Twilight-based problems, but people rarely if ever think to use him.
Naturally. Some things are required.
Okay, but why though?
Loving this thus far, especially the TTGL elements. Looking forward to the BCU's endgame.
*Deep breath, exhale* Shit, we're starting off strong. The bean-ginning of the end, as it were.
heheh, benis
In case anyone is curious... beanos:
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/avu8-1602343587-479814-full
10475208
So majestic!
So, calling this now: They win when Dash f*s the crazy out of Twilight, because her dong apparently runs on Spiral energy, so of course that's how it'll go.
How hegemonic.
Hey, at least Tempest wasn't the one good thing that happened to Wallflower in, say, fifty years of endless struggle. That would've really sucked.
In any case, outstanding conclusion to the saga. Thank you for an exquisite capstone to this fever dream of an AU.
And let's say it one more time: God dammit, Syeekoh.
Megas XLR reference! Noice!
*Snort*
Special Beam Cannon. Hah!
Goddammit, I'm getting teary-eyed. Knew I would.
I'm so very glad to have been a part of this madness.
10480308
Haha, thanks, friend. Seeing your glowing comments here especially is much appreciated. Most of the people still interested in Beanis were the other authors in the Discord server, and they'd basically already seen most of the story when prereading it. I probably put more time into editing this than any other fic I've posted.
And so it finally comes to an end. A crack fic that became a crack AU that actually became a pretty darn respectable story in its own right. Now there is nothing more to do than get so drunk I can't remember anything so that one day in the future I may stumble upon this once again, and once again ask the question that started me on this journey.
"But why beans?"
That was a better ending than I could’ve written for this story.
Well met.
10496520
High praise, that.
And now that I'm reading it...
Somanambula should probably chime in at this point. Seriously, even if someone does end up getting killed that's no reason for them to stop contributing to the fight.
Yeah, giant robots are one of those you need a reason not to do. The usual one is the laws of physics, but that's why these are magic giant robots.
10480353
Special Bean Cannon, which would have been enough to singlehandedly earn that entire localization the right to exist if Team Four Star hadn't already. (The original Japanese is something more along the lines of "Devil Drill Beam" which is obviously way better but doesn't work as well for the pun)
Yeah, Fire against Grass. Beanos' only chance was to stop it from getting that far, and arrogance ensured that she wouldn't.
About time she got the Simulation Hypothesis kicked out of her.
I'm speechless, perfect end to the series
11059990
Damn, thank you!