Chapter 1
Sunset Shimmer rang the doorbell once, then took a step back, her expression almost as bright as the midday sun overhead. It had been ages since she’d last set foot in Twilight’s parents’ place, not since Twilight herself had moved out, to be precise. The familiar location, with all the associated happy memories of time spent tinkering and studying advanced subjects, brought a comfortable nostalgia forth in her mind.
After a few moments, a pair of middle-aged faces answered the door, recognition in the eyes. “Why hello there, Sunset, dear,” greeted Twilight Velvet. According to Rainbow Dash, she was the biggest MILF among their parents, but Sunset wouldn’t know. Still, Night Light, standing by her side, seemed satisfied enough with life.
“Thanks for hosting, Ms. Velvet. I would’ve offered, but my place isn’t that big,” Sunset said with a smirk.
“Oh, it was no trouble,” Velvet insisted, waving off her praise. “I’m just glad I have the opportunity to see my daughter again. It’s been ages since she last came home to visit.”
Night Light, for his part, rolled his eyes, draping an arm around Velvet’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the only reason. She’s been meaning to thank Twilight over how much her products have improved our sex life.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Velvet gushed. “Even the regular model, with Nightie’s expert guidance, is amazing. I’m practically putty in his hands, now! Why, just yesterday, he—”
“Okay, dial it back a bit,” Sunset insisted, cutting her off. “Too much information. Way too much.”
Velvet at least had the courtesy to blush. “Whoopsie. Of course, Sunset.”
Sunset sighed, at this point very used to it. Unfortunately. “It’s fine.”
“Anyway, I’ll show you to the den,” Night Light said, getting back to the matter of the party, to Sunset’s relief.
As Velvet waved, Sunset followed him down the hall into a large - and occupied - space, before he left her be with a “Have fun!”
The Sparkle clan den was an example of incongruous tastes mashed together, featuring a mishmash of modern and classical furnishings. Hardwood bookshelves and a brick fireplace - currently unused - contrasted with the bright tile floor, stainless steel bar, and modern art on the walls.
Everybody had arrived before her, it looked like. This included most of the Beanis Inc inner circle. Wallflower and Tempest chatted by the hor d'oeuvres table, all smiles. Rarity was busy regaling Flash with some overdramatic tale of her exploits in espionage while mixing drinks. Rainbow and Applejack leaned casually against the far wall with their own drinks, savoring the moment. Fluttershy likely stayed home to take care of Little T.
The group’s newest addition, the slightly older Gloriosa Daisy, seemed to be both amused and confused by Spike, who let out verbal utterances of appreciation as she gave him a belly rub from the confines of a lounge chair. It had been ages since Sunset had gotten to spend time with the little dog, so much so that she actually felt a tad guilty.
This downturn in emotion within her escalated as Sunset’s gaze landed on the last two people in the room. Twilight sat next to Pinkie, both of them eying the large television from seats on the wide sofa. It was displaying a line graph on the bottom and a large numerical counter on the top. The number currently read at over nine hundred and ninety nine million, and increased as Sunset watched. Neither even had refreshments.
Seeing both of them being so antisocial put a damper on Sunset’s mood. She still hadn’t managed to pry forth the truth behind Pinkie’s drastic change in behavior, let alone Twilight’s continued obsession with beans.
It was Applejack who spotted her first. “Sunset, hey there!”
“Hi, AJ, everyone,” Sunset replied, stepping into the den.
Faces turned at the sound of her voice. “Hello, darling!” Rarity exclaimed. “Taking my advice on being fashionably late, I see.” Across from her, Flash Sentry nodded politely.
“We’ve got chips over here,” Wallflower pointed out, helpfully. “Just cheese dip and salsa, though. Even I’m getting a bit tired of guzzling beans.” Tempest cracked a smile at that.
“Chips? Pfft, come on, girl, let’s get hammered!” insisted Rainbow Dash, who raised her bottle triumphantly.
“Don’t get too carried away,” Gloriosa instructed. “It’s barely even noon.” Spike wagged his tail excitedly, clearly intent on the opposite.
Well, everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves. Maybe she could loosen up for once, too, Sunset mused. However, underneath the cheer, she couldn’t help but notice that a certain pair hadn’t even looked her way. Pursing her lips, she made her way around the sofa, facing Twilight and Pinkie. “Hey. Having fun?”
“Yeah, totally,” Twilight uttered in a distracted monotone. “Can you please move? You’re blocking the screen.”
Sunset crossed her arms, an eyebrow creeping upwards. “Aren’t you going to at least try and enjoy the party? You’ve been working on Beanis projects almost 24/7 these days.”
“Well, yeah, I’m the CEO of a major corporation. That’s to be expected, Sunset.”
“If you would recall, the purpose of this gathering is to acknowledge a milestone in our sales numbers,” Pinkie explained, not a trace of joy in her voice as she straightened her suit jacket. “Not to have fun at a frivolous social event.”
Sunset could hardly believe what she was hearing. Working her jaw, she glanced around at everybody in shock. “Did you guys hear that? Pinkie Pie just said that the party isn’t supposed to be fun.”
“That, uh, is a bit off, now that you mention it,” voiced Flash as he scratched his chin.
Rainbow Dash’s brows furrowed. “Okay, yeah, that’s pretty fishy. Is she good?”
She didn’t want to believe it, but this was simply the last straw for Sunset. None of this added up, and now was the ideal time to pull back the curtain and confront Twilight. She wished she didn’t have to, that the Twilight today wasn’t so far gone from the girl she once knew to do what she’d suspected, but at this point, she had no choice but to accept it. An intervention was overdue. Corrupting the world’s morals with sex and legumes was one thing, but replacing her friends was another.
Taking a deep breath, burying the sadness in her chest for later, Sunset pointed a single finger dramatically at Pinkie, with all the flourish of a fictional attorney. “That’s not Pinkie Pie! You’ve supplanted her with a bean-based duplicate, Twilight!”
Rarity let out a huge gasp, holding a hand to her face.
“What,” uttered Gloriosa, uncomprehending.
Tempest blinked, tensing. “Is that even possible?”
“It is possible, and all the evidence points to that conclusion,” Sunset continued. “The drastic changes in personality, the mysterious green substance I found staining the corridors at HQ when she was injured by those assassins, Twilight’s unusually long hours spent in secret... It all adds up.”
“I-Is all that true, Twilight?” asked a thoroughly floored Flash.
“She has been acting quite differently of late,” Rarity noted, stroking her chin, having recovered and entered PI mode. “Including the questionable methods she uses to ensure market dominance. And, more concerningly, a lack of interest in you, Sunset.”
After glancing at Tempest in concern, Wallflower fidgeted, looking to Twilight and Pinkie fearfully. “I’ve had my suspicions. What with Tempest’s memory and everything…”
Spike, though, hopped off of Gloriosa, blinking in astonishment. “Wait, you girls all actually thought that talking houseplant was Pinkie? It smells literally nothing like her.”
There was a weighty silence throughout the room, everyone slowly shifting their stares from Spike to Pinkie and Twilight.
And then Twilight began to laugh.
Slowly at first, merely a chuckle. This, however, slowly built into a full-blown belly laugh. Sunset’s eyes - and everyone else’s - widened in shock as licks of teal flame began to form around Twilight’s own eyes.
“It seems we’ve been found out at last,” Twilight said, a malicious grin splitting her cheeks. “But you’re much too late. The girl you once knew is almost totally dead and buried.”
“It’s Midnight Sparkle!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, bristling. Sunset was paralyzed, hating that she’d been proven right.
The person which had once been Twilight shook her head, rising to her feet. “Not quite. My plans are on the cusp of their final stage. CYAMITES, the ritual, all are coming to fruition. The barrier will be breached in full within moments, the point of no return crossed. And Beanis Inc will take on its true role at last.”
Applejack stepped forwards, cracking her knuckles. “Not if we stop you first!”
Calmly, Pinkie Pie, or whatever thing was posing as her, followed suit. “You will fail,” she stated, matter-of-factly.
However, they didn’t even get the opportunity to muster their old magic and put that to the test. For the television, the one they’d been watching earlier, let out a congratulatory jingle. The counter had reached its target: one billion beanises sold.
There was a tremendous flash of light as Midnight’s magic flared in a way unlike anything Sunset had ever seen. She was forced to shield her eyes from the intense light, and when the glare dissipated, beans were beginning to flood the room, erupting from all over Midnight’s glowing body in multiple streams. Everyone was blasted backwards as they were buffeted by hard, uncooked beans, from lima and kidney to black and string.
Only when Sunset was knee-deep in protein did the glow fade, and her breath caught in her throat at what she saw. Twilight looked almost nothing like her former self, hovering near the ceiling. Her eyes and hair were surrounded by an aura of coppery magic, the color of barbeque sauce. Her outfit had been replaced by a bright green tube dress that left little to the imagination, including a substantially enlarged bust. Wings shaped like bean pods extended from her back, and her chin had practically tripled in size. Topping it all off was a regal crown of golden beans that did little to keep her magically billowing hair in check. Inset in the crown were five bean-shaped gemstones of different shapes and colors, each glowing with unearthly light.
“I... am... Beanos!” she declared, making a fist that throbbed with power. “And it is time at last for the beans to conquer this world of apes!”
Before Sunset, or anybody else, could even cry out, Beanos snapped her fingers. She and the fake Pinkie vanished with the telltale pop-flash of teleportation magic just before a geode-fueled Rainbow flew through the space she’d just occupied, crash landing into the sea of beans. Spike breached the surface, coughing, as the others were all rendered immobile from disbelief.
Moments later, Rainbow pulled herself up, shaking the beans out of her clothes, and glared at everybody else. “What are you ladies all just standing around for? We have to go after her!”
Dash had a point. Despite how shaken she seemed to be, Sunset took a long, deep breath, and did what she’d been trying to do for years: take control of the situation, recreate order from chaos. Addressing the room, she filled her voice with what confidence she could. “First, we need to regroup! Call Fluttershy, Princess Twilight, Starlight, whoever you think would help us out with this! We’ll meet them at the portal by CHS!”
After a beat, all present understood, all responding with some variation of “Right!”
With Rainbow zooming into the lead, Sunset and the others weren’t far behind, and they waded through the layer of beans and out of the den, all notion of partying abandoned. They elbowed past a baffled Velvet and Night Light without wasting time answering their questions, instead bursting out the door.
They all filed into their respective choice modes of transportation, from Applejack’s truck to Rarity’s luxury sedan, except Dash, who opted for her magically assisted, hyper fast running speed. Gloriosa and Wallflower, in passenger’s seats, whipped out their phones, calling and texting with all the speed they could muster. Sunset, for her part, straddled her trusty motorcycle, gunning the engine. One after the other, with the screech of burning rubber, they blazed out of the driveway, and then the cul-de-sac, heedless of traffic safety laws.
As Sunset rode, merging onto a wide thoroughfare and zig-zagging through traffic, what had been temporarily suppressed rose back to the surface of her mind on a tide of urgency. It had all happened so fast… Sunset could hardly believe it. In one fell swoop, Twilight was gone, and in her place, one of the most terrible villains she had ever encountered. Part of her, deep in her chest, ached terribly. No amount of beans was worth sacrificing all your friends.
Sunset had no clue exactly what exactly Twilight had planned, but there was no way it was anything good, with how her magic had felt. It had been an unnatural thing, even more perverse than dark magic, as if it wasn’t even from Equestria at all, but some incomprehensible realm far beyond. And Sunset dreaded that she’d need something surpassing the power of friendship to fight back. Though she couldn’t imagine herself being able to reach that level anytime soon, even when pushed to her limits.
While she and the others drove, a determined procession, Sunset’s thoughts continued to spiral into greater and greater anguish. Only when they were about halfway to CHS did something change, snapping Sunset back to the present. It was a chime, pleasant but loud enough to be heard over the roar of her bike’s engine. The chime echoed all around, and all the televisions visible through the window of an electronics store up ahead suddenly had their channels change. All of them now displayed the smiling face of Twi— of Beanos. Seeing the twisted mockery of her friend, Sunset braked hard, pulling over, the others doing the same.
Sunset looked on with bated breath as Beanos began to speak, her tone just as ‘soothing’ as the chime had been. “Hello, people of Earth. This is Beanos, the unchained founder of Beanis Inc. Our company is now undertaking a revolutionary new initiative to improve your quality of life in all areas not previously enhanced by our products.”
How was she even doing this? Had she somehow hacked every device on the planet? Reaching into her pocket, Sunset’s dread redoubled when she confirmed that even her custom-encrypted phone was showing the visage of Beanos.
“To do this,” she continued, “we are employing various new means of conveying beans into your hearts and minds, such as the beanships which will soon be descending upon your homes. Please do not resist; you’ll thank me later. Try anyway, and you will be met with force. Just let my elite teams of beandroids do their jobs. As they are not human, they cannot be reasoned with.”
Here, Beanos’ smile widened. “I know you will all be just as satisfied with our new service as you have been by all our other past wares. Enjoy your bean new world!” Then the message cut out, all the screens returning to normal.
Sunset reeled. Beandroids? Is that what the fake-Pinkie was? An android, built from legumes? She had no clue what a beanship was, but she’d bet her jacket they weren’t harmless.
“I take it everyone saw that?”
That was Rarity, leaning out her open driver’s side window. In the next lane over, Tempest Shadow, from the backseat of AJ’s truck, replied bluntly. “Yes. I have a bad feeling about this. Really bad.”
Knowing others shared her sentiments was little comfort for Sunset. But wallowing in doubt would accomplish nothing. “Then let’s keep moving,” Sunset confirmed, revving her engine once more. “The sooner we group up, the better.”
Their group was not the only one reacting with urgency to the message. Zipping through the streets, an ominous wind tugging at what hair remained exposed under her helmet, other citizens of Canterlot City were beginning to panic. While still in the minority, most pedestrians either confused or indifferent, they were nevertheless present. Some packed their belongings, ushering loved ones indoors, or fled in their own cars. Sunset ached to reassure them, but the most pressing issue needed to be addressed first.
Eventually, they all made it to CHS, the high school campus nearly deserted, as it was a weekend. Peeling into the lot, Sunset, Wallflower, Tempest, Flash, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike all converged on the statue portal. Rainbow was already there, her shoes smoking slightly as she shared an embrace with Fluttershy.
Sunset caught the tail end of Rainbow’s latest sentence. “— get Little T somewhere safe?”
Fluttershy nodded, worry in her eyes. “I left her with Chrysalis. She’s a decent sitter, actually.”
“Good,” Rainbow sighed with relief. “Now I can focus on pounding Beanos’ traitorous ass. And not in the fun way.”
Floating in the air next to them was the translucent form of the company specter, ancient anugyptian garb and all. All three turned to face Sunset and the other arrivals upon hearing their rushing steps. “What took you so long?” Somnambula quipped.
“We can’t all just appear wherever we want, babe,” Flash sighed. “Still, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Wait, just Fluttershy and Somnambula showed up? Where’s everybody else?” asked Gloriosa.
“I’m still worried about Pinkie Pie,” added Rainbow, pulling away from her baby mama. “How long has it been since she was replaced? On top of dealing with whatever Beanos is up to, we have to find the real Pinkie, too!”
Shit, Sunset hadn’t even thought of that. She bit her lip. This was a tall order, but at least there were more than seven girls on the job this time.
Then, as if on cue, the portal rippled with motion, and Starlight Glimmer stepped through, no longer wobbly from the transition due to practice.
“Hey, it’s Starlight,” Tempest noted audibly.
“Glad I could make it,” Starlight began, looking this way and that for signs of havoc. “I got the message about Beanos; this all seems pretty dire. Probably the final stage of the game, would be my guess.”
“This isn’t a joke, Starlight! People could get seriously hurt!” Fluttershy exclaimed.
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Simulation-Shy. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Sunset said, placatingly. “Starlight will be a huge help. I hope. We still don’t know what we’re up against.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty convenient to the narrative that Beanos’ army hasn’t shown up yet.”
Everyone’s heads whipped around to face the familiar new voice. It was Pinkie, totally naked for some reason and skipping towards the group. There was a collective gasp.
“Pinkie Pie! Darling, are we happy to see you!” Rarity exclaimed. “But, it would probably be best if you put some clothes on.” Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a set of racy, crimson lingerie and handed it to Pinkie, who put it on in a flash.
Flash himself ceased averting his eyes, tossing the still scantily-clad girl his sweatshirt, which she donned in one smooth motion. “I wasn’t about to complain, but thanks!” Pinkie exclaimed.
However, Pinkie wasn’t the only fresh arrival, four other women had been following behind her, and now that they were within recognition distance, Sunset and company’s surprise only increased; it was the Dazzlings and Trixie.
“Oh, joy, these guys again,” deadpanned Wallflower.
Adagio Dazzle sauntered up with a hand on her hips and a condescending smirk. “If it isn’t the old song-and-dance team, back at their former stomping grounds like the naive, stupid children they are.”
Before anybody could rebuke Adagio, Aria spoke up. “Hey, Princess,” she said with a grin, waving once Rarity’s way. Sonata, meanwhile, just seemed satisfied to be included.
“The Beanslayers are here to help clean up your mess!” Trixie declared, with a swish of her cape. No, she had not grown out of it, or stopped wearing it regularly, much to Sunset’s bafflement.
Really noticing her for the first time, Starlight’s face lit up. “Oh, hey, it’s Trixie! Awesome!”
The woman in question blinked at Starlight. “Do I know you?”
“No, but I know you. And damn, this reality did a good job. You’re just as cute and sexy as mare Trixie.” Then, Starlight leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth. With tongue.
This led to a Totally Stunned and Slightly Aroused Trixie. She spared a glance towards her ex, Wallflower, before smiling in approval at Starlight, drinking her in. “You know what? Trixie can work with this.”
“Anyway,” coughed Sunset, desperate to change the subject, “What are you four even doing here?”
“Oh, we were all going to go spy on your operation some more, but the Beanis building was totally gone!” Sonata exclaimed. “There’s nothing but a humongous, empty crater, now. Pinkie Pie was just sorta lying there, unconscious and exposed. Good thing nobody unsavory found her first, right?”
“When we woke her up, the crazy broad immediately led us here with no explanation as to how or why,” finished Aria. “So, typical Pinkie, from what I understand.”
“Is that even the actual Pinkie?” asked Applejack. “I don’t rightly know what to believe anymore.”
“She’s real,” chimed in Spike, who was busy running around their ankles. “Everybody here is. Side note: I could really go for some beef jerky right about now.”
Ignoring his second comment, Somnambula chimed in with “Even me, probably!”
“That’s a relief,” Fluttershy exhaled.
Was this how today was going to be? One inane yet somehow still dangerous turn after the next? Sunset agreed with Fluttershy, in that Pinkie being fine was a huge load off (not that kind, god no), but she still had Beanos to worry about. She sighed, hoping Adagio and her sisters wouldn’t make things worse, disclaimers aside. This cruel monster possessing her friend was going to pose a nigh impossible challenge regardless.
“Wait, Aria, darling, didn’t you have a falling-out with your sisters a while back?” Rarity asked, sharing Sunset’s concerns. “What are you doing with them?”
“I bumped into them after trying to convince Juniper to help. She passed on the second life-or-death adventure. As for my bitch family…” Glancing over her shoulder at Adagio and Sonata, neither of whom seemed to mind the insult, Aria rolled her eyes. “Eh, we got over it. That wasn’t the first time we beat eachother to a bloody pulp, or even the worst. We sent a couple of polynesian island nations to war for that once. Water under the bridge.”
Adagio nodded. “There are others desperately in need of a good spanking, now.”
“And we couldn’t reach the rest of the Beanslayers in all this chaos,” Sonata added. “Those guys were weird anyway.”
Before Sunset could process this, however, an ominous whirring noise cut through the air like a knife. Sunset spun to face the source of the noise, and she nearly choked. Impossible may have been the correct assessment. For all the lights in the sky were beans.
High above the towers of the city, descending like angels of death from on high, were multiple huge, bright green, bean-shaped aircraft. Or possibly even spacecraft, because those rear-facing jet engines were quite wide. Either way, the nature of these machines’ construction - these beanships - was as inscrutable as their terrifying, solar backlit silhouettes.
Only one was close enough for her to make out further details, as it came to halt above the next block over. Alongside the cockpit on the front, there were multiple heavy weapons emplacements with a variety of gun barrel sizes, such things only serving one purpose: eliminate. Rooted to the spot, Sunset gawked as a large hatch unfolded from the concave underside into a long ramp.
Down the ramp emerged row after row of soldiers, clad in blocky white body armor from head to toe, matching rifles in their hands. Their helmets were almost perfect cubes, save a pair of menacing black slits for their eyes.
It was Tempest who reacted first. “Take cover!” she ordered.
About half of the impromptu team was already doing that, and the others quickly followed suit, diving behind the statue, the cars, or some nearby benches. Sunset snapped herself back to the present and followed suit.
“Okay, now what in the name of all that is holy are those things?” asked Gloriosa, pointing at the soldiers.
“Beandroids. Wherever Twilight was keeping me locked up had a bunch. Though with all their gear, they look more like knockoff stormtroopers than robots to me,” said Pinkie.
“We should totally call ‘em Curd Grunts,” Dash insisted. “Because they look like their heads are made of tofu. And curd rhymes with turd.”
“It doesn’t matter what they’re called if they kill us,” pointed out Flash. “I, for one, would like to not die today!”
Sunset shared that sentiment, electing to wait and see what they were going to do before making a plan of attack. As they continued to march inexorably forwards as a unit, off to the side, across the road, people began to scream and run from the approaching force. Well, save for one incredibly suspicious woman wearing what could only be described as a cultist’s cloak. Checking beneath her hood, Sunset’s eyes widened; she looked exactly like Starlight, but with a different hairstyle.
Her steps dragging with hopelessness, she dropped to her knees and wept, arms sagging at her sides. “It’s all over. We failed. ‘When the planet overflows with a billion beanises, the founder shall become hell’s messenger, and the world as we know it will be destroyed.’ The prophecy... is fulfilled at last.”
“Oh, there’s Glimmer,” went Trixie, following Sunset’s gaze. “Eh, I like the new one better anyway.”
Once the beandroids were within range, they raised their weapons and opened fire on the other Starlight, cutting her ravings off. But instead of unleashing a spray of blood on contact like normal bullets, these seed-shaped ones, once they struck her, sprouted into a small network of twitching stems and vines, which quickly wrapped around and up towards her head before growing into her skull. Sunset could only watch as cultist-Starlight screamed in agony. Moments later, her pained shouts faded, along with the gleam of sentience behind her eyes. Slowly, she stood, moaning. “Beans… beans… beans…”
Oh sweet Celestia, they were going to brainwash the whole city, Sunset realized with dread. No, Beanos really was trying to overtake the whole planet. Free will would be erased, subsumed by the fell voices of the beans. Truly, a fate worse than death.
Overhead, the beanships began to fire wide sprays of seed bullets down on anybody caught out in the open, converting large numbers of innocent bystanders into servants of Beanos in the same way as the Curd Grunts’ weapons did. The indiscriminate carnage brought back bad memories for Sunset, and made her sick to her stomach.
However, behind the bed of the truck, Tempest was having an even worse reaction. Her normally stoic eyes darted about frantically, her mouth open slightly in shock as she trembled. “I-I remember now. I remember everything. This… this is the same. Exactly what I was sent back to the past to prevent. And I completely failed. Beanos fucking supressed my memories.”
Not sure what to say to comfort her, Wallflower settled on simply holding Tempest’s hand as the sounds of gunfire, rocket engines, and sheer hysteria raging around them.
Adagio, though, had a very different reaction. “I hate to say this,” she began, in a tone which very much implied the opposite, “but I fucking told you so.”
“You can gloat all you want about Twilight’s choices later! First, we fight them off!” Rainbow Dash cried out.
“How? They have guns. And it’s not like I’ll be able to talk the nearby critters into helping,” Fluttershy said. “The poor things are surely scared shitless.”
“Most people would be losing their minds right about now,” Sunset intoned. “But we’re made of sterner stuff. Or just numb. Probably the latter, honestly.”
Rarity, meanwhile, brainstormed aloud. “If push comes to shove, I can deploy my shields. I’m unsure if they’re bulletproof, but one must be willing to take risks to come out ahead.”
“Test it with Sonata first,” quipped Adagio.
“Hey!” Sonata protested. “You know I mostly don’t want to die anymore!”
“Well, somebody do something,” Pinkie insisted. “Dashie over there looks just about ready to bolt!”
Suddenly, the squealing of tires on asphalt heralded another set of vehicles, this time a small fleet of black SUVs with tinted windows. They spun into the enemy lines like wrecking balls, greenish ooze seeping from the battered beandroids that got run over. With war cries, men and women burst out of the SUVs, brandishing all manner of weapons, from sawed-off shotguns and old revolvers to tomahawks and military surplus bandoliers of hand grenades. The only common thread between them were the bandannas wrapped around their heads: yellow in color, with a pattern of triangles.
Using zeal and teamwork, the mystery militia began to trade fire with the beandroids, keeping them pinned down. Simultaneously, a second set of SUVs rolled up directly to Sunset and crew, nearly crashing into the statue in the process, and more fighters got out.
The one in front’s window rolled down, revealing a stern-looking woman bearing an uncanny resemblance to Twilight, save for her coloration. She wore a large, golden triangle around her neck. “I’ll cut to the chase: the only way we win against Beanos is if you people get in,” she declared.
“Huh? Who the hell is this!?” questioned Gloriosa.
“Moondancer,” she replied, narrowing her eyes. “AKA: your last hope.”
“Ooh, how dramatic,” Sonata intoned. “Typical Moondancer. I’ll go! Nothing quite as fun as being dragged off by a suspicious individual, I say!” In fact, she was already moving.
“Like you’re not suspicious,” deadpanned Trixie.
“For once, I agree with Sonata,” said Aria. “Past conflicts aside, what have we got to lose? We don’t have much of a choice if we want to avoid being brainwashed. And as somebody who used to be able to do that: being on the receiving end isn’t pleasant.”
Starlight actually beamed. “This is clearly an event prompt! You definitely go along for the ride on these; the results are always cool.”
“Sunset? What do you think?” Applejack asked, used to Sunset serving as the voice of reason in a sea of insanity.
Sunset brushed her bangs out of her face, mind spinning with pros and cons. Without much time to deliberate, the crisis more than urgent, she fell back on the evidence she could see: that Moondancer’s people seemed more prepared for Beanos than they had been. Plus, Sunset had a gut feeling that this new mirror of Twilight would prove her undoing, somehow. “I say we do what she tells us and go with her.”
“If you say so,” went Flash, already moving. Rainbow grumbled under her breath, but followed Flash anyway, Fluttershy trailing after her.
“Awesome, a car ride with a new lady!” Spike exclaimed, bounding along too. “Let’s keep moving forward!”
Adagio, meanwhile, snorted. “Well, if Sunset’s going, then I’m staying. My vocal chords could use the workout,” she added, cackling.
Rarity’s hand on her shoulder pulled away an exasperated Aria as they got ready to go. With everything decided, Sunset herself slid into a seat, along with Flash, Gloriosa, and Somnambula. Starlight dragged Trixie along, and Wallflower led Tempest, having finished consoling her.
Sunset tugged her jacket collar into shape. This was going to be a long day, packed with more hardship than ever before. But with friendship - and maybe a bit of firepower - she’d help blaze a trail to victory, fix everything. No matter what happened in the past, from high school adventures to corporate supremacy, their only path now was to build on that and continue forward.
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Aw shit
Here we fucking gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I mean, trying to apply sense to the Beanisverse is clearly a lost cause, but going full TTGL is the inevitable end result of such things so...
Sparkle had to get it from somewhere.
That's Spike in a nutshell, really. He's the solution to virtually all Twilight-based problems, but people rarely if ever think to use him.
Naturally. Some things are required.
Okay, but why though?
Loving this thus far, especially the TTGL elements. Looking forward to the BCU's endgame.
*Deep breath, exhale* Shit, we're starting off strong. The bean-ginning of the end, as it were.
heheh, benis
In case anyone is curious... beanos:
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/avu8-1602343587-479814-full
And now that I'm reading it...
Somanambula should probably chime in at this point. Seriously, even if someone does end up getting killed that's no reason for them to stop contributing to the fight.