Niro wasn't always the happiest pony, though far from sad.
So, when scientists found that color could be used a source of fuel, it was very popular....
until it started to go away.
The entirety of Equestria ignored it, until it was too late..
Nearly a year later, Niro begins to think about all the opportunities he missed... especially when it came to the mare he wanted to love....
If only he could remember her name.
This story was inspired by Colorless by The DJ Rainbow Dash.
I suggest you go check that story out, it's amazing!
So I'm rebooting this.
...
Lmao
Also, cover art by me.
Chapters (3)
Very dark! I like it!!
10467950
Thanks...
Been sorta working on the second chapter.
Alright, I found this story by chance, and so far, I’m rather liking it. The wording is rather simple, but I think it fits and somewhat compliments this surreal apocalyptic world this is set in. (I definitely have to check out Colourless!) There were a few rough spots that stood out to me, notably some missing words, shifts between past and present tense, and some grammatically rough sentences. Also, there’s no need for the extra spaces in dialogue next to quotation marks. I believe that fixing all this should be really easy, and it should immensely contribute to the story’s quality
10474918
Thanks, I'll make sure to fix it!
10475230
You’re welcome! Let me know if you ever need anything.
Plot's good, but could do with some editing biggest problems seem to be missing periods and random shifts in tense.
For example...
Of course, he wasn't dreaming about anything. He had lost the ability to dream about anything months back.
Suddenly, he snaps out of his sleep, head shooting upward weakly.
Six mares wield these Elements; Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie."
You forgot Rarity
10487593
Oh, FUCK!
Jesus, I was wondering who I was forgetting!
Hold on...
10487593
Fixed.
Err... can you remove your story from No Name's group? You kind of broke the pattern I'm doing currently. ^^;
10493237
....
Sure :(
10493258
Wait until I complete my pattern. Then you can insert it back in.
10493264
...
i.imgflip.com/1x2ke8.jpg
10493268
Okie =3