Chapter 9: Jumping the Shark
When Hailey stepped through the door, into the Leaky Cauldron, she was nervous. It was perhaps the first time in her life that she was wearing clothes that actually fit- but here, she was entering the completely unknown. This was where magic was commonplace. Where people used wands, and where something that looked innocent was probably nothing of the sort.
It didn’t exactly help that she had a good amount of distrust for just about anyone, let alone the kinds of people she’d meet in a dingy little pub like this. After all, everyone except Hermione, from classmates to babysitters to teachers to whatever else, always kept a tally of every little thing she did wrong- and came to collect every once in a while. Sometimes it was simply a telling off- it was always a relief when it was that simple. Sometimes it was detention, which the Dursleys always followed with a weekend locked in her cupboard. Sometimes it was even worse.
And sometimes, like that one time she’d encountered that one questionable-looking man in a back alley last year, it was a lot worse. He’d had a knife hidden in his coat- and she still had no idea how she had survived bringing fists to a knife fight. She’d gone home that day all covered in blood- most of which was her own. He’d limped away, having apparently given up on killing her- even though he’d clearly had the upper hand through the entire fight.
It was this kind of person she was worried about encountering here, in this dingy little pub. This was the kind of place where weak little girls got hurt, or had things stolen from them.
She gripped the shoulder strap for her purse tightly, scanning the pub.
Petunia had mentioned something about the back door, and needing a wand.
She would have to take her chances with someone in here… or flee back to the muggle world, where she would then be on her own in the city while she called the Dursleys to have them pick her up.
They’d also be disappointed that she’d given up.
After all, Petunia had told her to avoid anything that looked shady… except the Leaky Cauldron, because in this place, it was supposed to be a front to help keep any unwitting ‘muggles’ out.
Considering that, judging by her aunt and uncle, the muggles couldn’t find the place when they were looking for it, let alone when they weren’t, it seemed a bit overkill to her.
Then, some motion drew her attention. Nobody in the pub had looked at her when she entered- until, as near as she could tell, one of the place’s staff started towards her. It was a friendly-looking woman, but Hailey wasn’t sure how much of that was real.
The woman stopped a few feet away, and crouched down to be on a level with her. “Hello, I’m Becky. What’s your name?”
Hailey waited a couple seconds for the other shoe to drop, before answering slowly. “... Hailey.”
“Ahh, well, it’s nice to meet you, Hailey. Um…” She looked up at the door Hailey had come through, and took a deep breath. “Did… Did something happen?”
“What do you mean?”
Becky winced. “Um…” She glanced back at the bartender, who gave her an encouraging nod, and took a deep breath. “Er…” Another breath. “I… Did your parents just…?” She trailed off, and winced. “... That didn’t come out right.”
“Did they just what?” Hailey asked, fighting to keep her nervousness from entering her voice.
“Um- er- I mean-!” Becky anxiously rubbed the side of her head. “They- are they coming with you, or…?”
“Uh, no,” Hailey stated plainly. It was fairly obvious, wasn’t it? The Dursleys hadn’t entered the building with her, after all.
Becky flinched. “Uhh… They… Er…” She looked back at the bartender.
There was a moment of silence as the bald bartender put down his cloth and walked around his bar to approach them.
Becky spoke up as he got close. “How badly did I botch it?”
“Well, it’s been over a minute and she’s not screaming in terror, so you’re doing better than I did on my first time,” he answered cheerfully.
Hailey briefly debated screaming in terror, but decided against it. She wasn’t that scared. Yet.
Then the bartender scowled. “Though breaking off in the middle to ask me how you’re doing is botching it pretty bad. C’mon back to the bar, she’s probably afraid of us now, on top of whatever else might’ve happened.”
Then, he headed back to the bar. Becky gave Hailey an uneasy smile, then hurried after him.
Hailey took a deep breath, and let it out again. What in the world were they talking about? And why were they talking about her like she was… like she was an objective of some sort?
She took a quick look around the room. There wasn’t anything to indicate where she would find Diagon Alley… or anyone willing to help her reach the Alley.
She did spot an empty table that she could sit at, to rest her legs and at least look like she belonged while she phoned the Dursleys.
“H- Hailey?” Hermione asked, staring wide-eyed at the girl that had just entered hers and Harry’s little hideout on schedule. She sure looked like Hailey- better, even.
The girl smiled. “Yep, it’s me. Good to see you’re…” She paused. “... You’ve got muscles.”
Hermione grinned. “So I do.” She glanced down. “I’d hug you, but even though it happened a week ago- strange vision and everything- I still don’t know what my limits are.”
“Oh, it can’t be that bad,” Hailey chuckled, sitting next to her.
“Are you sure? I mean, I accidentally ripped the door off the car. Dad said it was fun to explain it to the insurance.”
“Some guy thought he’d punch my lights out in London last week,” Hailey shrugged. “He made three blocks before he landed.”
“... Oh.” She looked down at her hands. “So… I… Um…” She took a deep breath. “It turns out there’s a school for magic. And… they invited me.”
Silence held for a couple of seconds, before Hailey spoke.
“... Is it called Hogwarts?”
Hermione’s head snapped up, and she looked at Hailey. “How did you know?”
Hailey shrugged. “They invited me too.” She looked out of the hideout, in the direction of Privet Drive. “Speaking of which, we said yes, but seem to have missed how I’m supposed to get my stuff for school.”
“You…?” Hermione trailed off for a second. “You mean someone didn’t come to your door to take you to Diagon Alley?”
“Uh… I think someone did, but I wasn’t home. And they didn’t come back.”
“... Oh. Well, Professor McGonagall showed me around Diagon Alley a week ago, so I might be able to fix that.”
Hailey rubbed her chin. “Hmm… According to Petunia, neither of our families will be able to enter the Leaky Cauldron with us until we turn twelve, so…”
Hermione shrugged. “I can casually rip car doors off, you can throw people three blocks. We don’t have anything to worry about.” Then she blinked. “Wait, Petunia? You mean Petunia Dursley told you stuff about magic!?”
Hailey smiled, and nodded. “Turns out ‘Harry Potter’ is famous in the wizarding world, and that was what they were so afraid of: Me being famous in their home. Since the wizarding world hasn’t a clue about Hailey Potter, I’m suddenly a welcome daughter.” She sighed. “Dudley flees whenever I get within about ten feet of him, though. It was satisfying the first dozen times, but it’s gotten old.”
“... Ahh. And yes, you were famous. I got a few extra books for background reading, and you’re in a few of ‘em.”
“Really? Which ones?”
She recited a few book titles.
“... Huh. I guess Voldemort was a pretty big deal, wasn’t he?”
“Voldemort? Who’s that?”
“The guy that killed my parents. Petunia described him as a wizarding terrorist.”
“... Huh. All my books describe him as ‘he who must not be named’, and never mention his name.”
“Strange. I mean, he is named, isn’t he?”
She shrugged. “Yeah. Must not be common knowledge or something. I wonder where Petunia got it…?”
“A letter from Dumbledore, apparently. Arrived on the doorstep at the same time as I did.”
“Interesting. So, shall we see if we can go Diagon Alley hunting tomorrow? I’ll bring my wand for the gate.”
“How would we get there, though?”
She shrugged. “Mom doesn’t work tomorrow; I can ask if she’ll take us.”
Hailey grinned. “Go for it, I guess. I’ll check with the Dursleys tonight.”
“We have a problem.”
Professor Dumbledore nodded calmly to Professor McGonagall, who had entered his office, looking very disturbed. “Noted.” He knew today was the day the Castle would have given up on magical delivery, and dished the letter out for staff delivery tomorrow- which, he knew, Hagrid was planning on delivering at the stroke of midnight tonight, when Harry turned eleven.
“The Castle didn’t give us Harry’s letter,” McGonagall continued. “And I haven’t seen any acceptance letters from him, either.”
Dumbledore sighed, and looked up at a few monitoring trinkets on one shelf. They hadn’t changed in years- and for as much as the information they relayed was comforting, the constancy wasn’t. He hadn’t yet gotten confirmation that they actually worked, though the few times he’d visited to check on things, their constant output was entirely accurate. “I suppose the next step would be to send him a letter ourselves,” he muttered, reaching into his desk to extract a piece of parchment. “If we ask him to send his response with the same owl, and don’t see a response in a couple days, we visit.”
“What broke?” Dumbledore asked, as Professor McGonagall stepped into his office. It was hardly twenty minutes after she’d left earlier.
She silently stepped up to his desk, and dropped a sealed envelope on it. He recognized it at once as the letter she’d taken to the Owlry, destined for Mr. Potter.
He also immediately recognized the bright red stamp that had been magically applied to the front of it at the wizarding post office in Hogsmeade. There were two lines of text inside the border. The first line showed ‘Undeliverable’- and the second, ‘Recipient Deceased’.
He stared at it for about a second, before rising to his feet. “Looks like I need to make a housecall,” he informed McGonagall. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Last week,” Petunia answered Dumbledore. He’d shown up to ask about Harry, rather than Hailey, so she was using the cover story she, Vernon, and Hailey had come up with. “We were enjoying ourselves on the beach. Harry was out swimming in the surf; there were life guards on duty, so we didn’t think much of it.
“Then the shark appeared, and just… ate Harry. We still have his glasses- he didn’t have those in the water- but that’s about it.”
“Harry what!?” McGonagall barked, when Dumbledore returned.
“He got eaten by a shark,” Dumbledore repeated. “Last week.” He sighed. “And we’ll have to tell the world, lest society wrongly shunt Hailey into Harry’s role. It’d be far too dangerous for her- she doesn’t have any of the protections Harry had.”
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Well this is one what of jumping the shark I guess
Aaaaaand... you lost me.
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comment appears on newest chapter As in, confused you, or made you want to go elsewhere?
10549484
The way the description is written (and correct me if I'm wrong) makes it sound like this is a "Harry is transgender" story, and I don't particularly like reading TG stories. It might be written well, but that's just a genre I don't really enjoy.
So we got She Hulk and Mystique attending Hogwarts? Sounds more like Marvel crossover than MLP at this point. Unless the author has plan to involve ponies or the spirit of the deceased Princesses in the future. So far, the idea is very interesting. Guess I will have to wait and see.
Never have thought you would use 'jump the shark' quite literally. Colored me surprise Dumbledore bought it. Even more amazing Dumbledore didn't realize Hailey's address was the exact same one as Harry's.
Well talk about literally jumping the shark. Nice chapter.
It was really awkward, who are you again?
10549490
Yes, that is exactly what this story is. I normally wouldn’t expect people turned away by the genre to comment on it, though...
10549499
Perhaps he and McGonagall should compare notes, eh?
I find it odd that Dumbeldor just took their story at face value. I wonder how long it will take everyone else to get the real story figured out? Then again the castle’s magic had an interesting reaction.
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10549499
they're Wizards. Logic and Common sense don't exist for them.
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I bet there's at least one- at least now- for which they both mean quite a lot... Unfortunately, she's not very old, either.
Great new chapter! Really though Petunia, you could've made the cover story a bit more believable. Or maybe let Hailey do it (or, y'know, tell the truth and hope Dumbledore will take her off your hands)
I've seen lots of "Harry disappeared" stories, but never have I seen "Harry died through spectacular but unverifiable means". I laughed out loud. Though if anyone were to consult a newspaper the story would fall apart like a wet paper bag, but since when do wizards ever have any sense?
Ah yes, random shark attack. lol. Gotta love how dumb wizards are sometimes when it comes to the non-magical world
I forgot the chapter title until the comments mentioned it; the story about the shark got a good snort out of me, though. I suppose this is one of the literal cases of "jumping the shark" wherein the shark won... allegedly.
10549484
Comments made on no chapter (ie. the story's main description/chapter select) always appear on what was the newest chapter at that time.
10550098
I am aware. It's actually something I find moderately annoying, whenever I respond to a comment on a previous chapter... and the site sees fit to show them my response on the main page instead of on the chapter in question.
10550115
Then navigate to the chapter in question before responding.
10550116
So when their response to my answer on Chap. 3 appears on Chap. 5... It'd only exaggerate the problem if I forced my response to their response to appear on Chap. 3 again.
10550314
As soon as one response is front paged, then stick to that. Until then, try to stick to the original chapter.
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You act like that's not what I'm already doing.
10550944
You're right. I read the comment thread I initially replied to, and took something you said as having an implication that was never really there. Call it poor reader comprehension on my part.
I am not really one for TG because reasons... But considering the reasons given, yeah, I'm giving things a go, though there was mention of a Ron scene a few chapters back... I didn't see any Ron scene, so I'm wondering if I missed something.
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The Ron scene was very brief, in the middle of Chap. 4, between Ginny and Draco/Silver. Not a big scene, but it could end up being a fairly important part of his character, once I finally decide what effect it has on his personality and write the next scene he’s a part of...
Sorry, dog tired right now, been spending too much time working Hailey’s character development. Good night!
Huh... That's amusingly final. Nice excuse, though.
A shark? Really? You know what, screw it, why not
At least I know how I’m going to fake my death if I ever need to
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Don’t they’ll see it coming now. I’d give better ideas but then they’ll see those coming to.
“You see we were at the beach...”
“And he drowned??”
“No a shark ate him...most tragic.”
Yes, we went to the Caribbean, Albus. Not the English Channel, just so you know.
- Petunia Dursley, a postscript on the matter of Harry Potter's untimely demise