Started writing still a long road to my first finished masterpiece
Ethan was supposed to be just an average 17 year old but do to certain circumstances is now attempting to come to terms with an unimaginable power as well as a species change that no-being expected... not even the one that sent him there
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good luck!
Welcome new author! A Gary Stu story as a first could be challenging so I wish you luck! If it doesn’t work for some reason, I hope you will continue to write other stories!
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srry i havent responded sooner but thx. i have alot of ideas and i now see how one story could fall to the wayside by other authors lol its difficult trying to stay on target with one when three more pop up in ur mind im goin to try to finish this one first to see if i can be a good writer before picking up my other ideas tho
Well for a first, I think it's not bad, you seem to have a good writing base, but the pacing of the story feels very frantic, which can be mostly explained by two of your major issues in your writing, which could help slow it down a bit. Fist is that you just seem to have punctuation issues which it could really use a lot, it's more of a lack of experience your part but a text to speech program could help you with telling when you need to put a comma, I like to use Balabolka, it's a free text to speech program that helps me in my own writing even when I do art. As for the second you characters feel some what stilted, with the dialoged, and what it would need a is a little descriptor on how it is said or explain the rational behind it as well as their actions; here is a quick example:
I hope it helps a little good luck also if you are ever interested here is some of my art work.
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I appreciate the idea of text to speech and have used those in the past but my problem with that is I fumble over words so much and even thinking of using that type of program fills me with a dread that has not been seen since the time and tale of Davy Jones lol. and as for the punctuation I, was never really good at knowing where they belong but I hope that doesn't detract from the story too much.
yes that comma is there on purpose as a little humor on my part enjoy