• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)


Missions are dangerous, and sometimes the Bearers get hurt. But this time, treating Pinkie's injuries only took about an hour. No sealant to constantly reapply and lingering deep aches from the wound: just a simple, magical regrowing of her left forehoof's keratin. Really, it's a pity the procedure isn't available to the public yet.

And because it isn't available to the public yet, there's just one little thing which the inventing company's representative wants Pinkie to do. One little thing that leads into a full swarm of not-so-little things.

It's okay. It's for science!

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 77 )

Ha! I was gonna swear it was Flim-Flam, but nope! Red herringed!

The pains of medical procedure... You understand them much more than I do.

...I now have this hilarious image of Chrystalis and the Flim-Flam Brothers getting together to try something and it fails.




On the scale of even Twilight Sparkle going, "I'm pretty sure I never did anything that stupid. And I tried to enchant my childhood doll."

When the Bearer of Laughter is angry enough to flying-kick you full-force in the face, the only question is what to do with the leftovers.

She was still examining her hoof. "The color's a little different where the split filled in." More quickly, "Not that I'm complaining! At all! It's wonderful , Doctor. I just feel --" The curly tail gently swayed. "-- so good ..."

Ohmygosh, Pinkie is high. Know fear.

"I would pull the emergency brakes, then hit the rail switch with just enough force to move it halfway . That way, the train is going really really slowly, and it sort of nudges to a stop because there isn't enough rail connection to let it go down either track. How did the one pony get her hoof under a trestle? They're really really flush against the ground --"

Pinkie Pie remains Best Pony.

She curled up in the warmth of that personal darkness, and basked in the most wonderful feeling there was. The instant when she knew that the pain was truly gone, and could never, ever come back. And then she opened her eyes.

Right up until the next time she got hurt.

"No," the physician quickly said. "It's in the last stage of pre-release. All of the tests are coming out the same way: the patient sleeps for an hour because their body is devoting all of its energy to regrowth, they wake up, and the crack is sealed. We're expecting to have it available for the general public in about four moons. It's mostly just a matter of clearing the paperwork. But the palace has a way of vaulting bureaucracy --"

Possibly you mean "valuing"?

Hah, Changeling hijinks and Chrysalis shoddy planning. Always good for a laugh.

"I would pull the emergency brakes, then hit the rail switch with just enough force to move it halfway. That way, the train is going really really slowly, and it sort of nudges to a stop because there isn't enough rail connection to let it go down either track."

That's always been my answer as well.

Pinkie shook her head. "Do you remember that one pony we met during the trip? The pretty pale blue one, with the mechanical leg?"

Well now, Kerfuffle's here!

So to speak...

We're rather out of order then, no?

I knew Pinkie couldn’t keep up with it but man did Chrysislis make the wrong choice. I hope this means that she will not be able to be around when Discord grabs his try at friendship lessons.

I've added this story to The Triptych Continuum Rebooted in the "non canon" folder

Hoofboot to the head!

This was a Wonderful little story, and very fun to read! I love the world you've created here!

Just a quick question, though... Pinkie mentioned a character named "Allie." Who's that? She sounds kinda imprortant...

Ah, the wonders of medical devices without foresight.

The bracelet (before the plot twist) probably would work just fine if the sparks could be stored inside and released when convenient. Incidentally, that is exactly how the rectum works.

No, "vaulting" as in "avoiding".

It wasn't quite the usual chaos when she reached the bakery. The usual chaos was probably at the cottage, still trying to get every last mission detail out of Fluttershy.

I dunno why but I found this to be just amazing.

BTW, did you know you have a spine?

Chrysalis? You're just...too dumb.

Pinkie tried, because she wasn't all that good at holding her breath and giving it more than a minute would mean applying the bracelet onto a hoof which was guaranteed to remain still. As it was, most of her body kept trying to twitch backwards. There was something almost familiar about that stench -- but her memory worked best for what she'd seen and heard.

It's changeling goop, isn't it? It'd probably make a great medical adhesive.

Shifting colors into a more sickly green? Sounds like changelings.

"And it just smells ," Pinkie sighed. There was something distressingly familiar about that smell.

Called it.


Nice continuity with (or at least nod to) "Pinkie Pie Has Infiltrated The Changelings' Secret Base!"

I have to admit, I kind of guessed the direction things were going when you mentioned what color the adhesive was and the list of threats currently facing Equestria.

I will say, I was surprised that the rogue hive was run by Chrystalis... and that the bracelet was solely to let her know where Pinkie was. Personally, I thought it was to quietly drain our happy, loving pink pony of her positive emotions over a long period of time. Even more so if you also had a few other trial ponies wearing the bracelets as well. An attempt to develop a brand new method of gathering food in a more subtle, less dangerous way.

CCC #19 · Sep 25th, 2020 · · ·


The Bearers wouldn't even need to be involved. Both parties would stab each other in the back simultaneously, and the entire plot would simply collapse there and then.

This is absolutely fascinating and while I saw the twist coming a bit aways from where it was revealed... this was a delightful story. Made my night. Thank you very much for cheering me up today.



Vaulting - jumping over. Bypassing.

On the most technical level, that desire would fail.

So, Pinkie metaphorically kicked somepony in the face? Theoretically? Philosophically? Symbolically?:pinkiecrazy:

On the most technical level, she didn't wind up kicking somepony in the face at all.


Oooh, that's pretty damn clever!

The big boss buggo is getting better at this sneaky stuff!

Nah, it's vaulting. As in jumping past the bureaucracy.

The stallion blinked, and they both watched the last remnants of the daydream dissipate.

Pinkie being Pinkie, I shouldn't be surprised she could see the daydream for herself.

A small, rather sensible portion noticed the presence of multiple audible capitals and bunkered down for the long haul.

A warning sign on par with multiple exclamation points.

Especially as the planet is... so tumultuous at the moment

That does at least acknowledge one question. Namely, "Why does this set of Bearers have to do so much more for the crown than so many others?" Of course, it then leads into another: "Why are they living in such interesting times?" I suppose some of it can be pinned on Luna cannonballing her way into global politics, but that doesn't explain the monster attacks...

I do appreciate how Scootaloo has become both an adjective and a verb.

All she had to do was send the instructions to a different section and watch them come out the same way!

Ah, the Starfleet method. Divert power to rear actuators! We'll access the controls from the replicator in Ensign Ricky's quarters.

I was not expecting a reference to Kerfuffle of all ponies. Nice touch. The talk of renegade changelings has some interesting implications as well.

I knew who was behind it when the colors flickered, but the details eluded me until the big reveal. Brilliant stuff. And given the circumstances that inspired this story, it's no wonder you used one of your most consistently stupid villains. Thank you for a lovely bit of catharsis; I hope it helped.

Allie Way, A fairly tall cream-coated unicorn who hangs out at the bowling alley frequently. Locally, she has an on-again, off-again relationship with the fairly short stallion who helps Rachette, among other things, fabricate her Telekinesis-replacement rig. I can't remember his name off the top of my head.

I do so love the way you write Pinkie Pie. It's... really saying something that she's honestly probably the least insane of the Six Bearers, if only because she's fully aware of the ways in which she is insane and takes appropriate steps to deal with it. A glorious inversion of what you'd expect on the surface.

Chrysalis, though, is always a delight to read in the Triptych-Verse for another reason entirely. I kept trying to place it in my head, who she sounds like to me -- vain, stuck up, arrogant, all of the things we might expect, but with a streak of immaturity a mile wide, and then it hit me.

She's the supervillain bug-horse version of Angelica Pickles from Rugrats.

And I love that.


Oh, gotcha. I've always known the character as Pinny Lane.

For what it's worth, the only other meaning of the name that I could come up with was "Allie Corn," which made me think that she was someone's nextgen Princess OC.

Thanks for the clarification!

Both parties would attempt to stab each other in the back, before realizing they stabbed themselves in the abdomen and begin to bleed out.

I think they would be so aware that they would stab each other in the back. but that they need each other until the time they don't.

And, like all villains, they get the timing wrong, they commit one of the classic "evil bad-guy" screwup in that case-"you're so busy trying not to get stabbed in the back that you don't expect to be stabbed in the front."

Odd glue was give away for me :rainbowwild:

Chrysalis deserved a bap with giant newspaper roll

"charcoal unicorn mare"
"emerald corona"
"You seldom got unicorns that tall"
"Her tail was just sort of... hanging there"
"bare fur seemed to ripple oddly along her sides"
...Hmmmmm... :)

"She had take the monitoring process"
"She had to take the monitoring process"?

""Medically," the third time decided, "is freezing the"
""Medical," the third time decided, "is freezing the"?

"her hind hoof trapped under a trestle"
"How did the one pony get her hoof under a trestle? They're really really flush against the ground"
When you say "trestle", there, do you mean "tie"?

"somepony from the distance survey team and"
"somepony from the distant survey team and"?

"potentially be warped: from"
"potentially be warped, from"?

"force them look in the"
"force them to look in the"?

Thank you for writing, and I hope it helped. :)

"Vaulting" is correct, here. Bureaucracy is the obstacle is this metaphor; the palace chooses at times to leap over it.


Chronic pain sufferers know the blessed Nirvana that is a total absence of pain.

(Given, in my case that takes prescription level opiates for that, so not happening often.)



The short one's name is Stile. As a reference to the "Apprentice Adept" series.

If only Chryssi had managed to tune out her need for sadism just long enough to make the bracelet and its enchantment something innocuous. Something you forget you're even wearing.

Or make that the actual effect of the enchantment, to cause them to forget they're wearing it. We already know she's good enough at mind magic to make a net positive off of ensorcelling Shining Armor, after all.

Well, it seems the weight of public opinion is greatly against me. However,

A man convinced against his will
Is of the same opinion still

Rumors of a renegade changeling hive continue to spread

I like changeling-related stories. I'd like to see Pinkie make friends with a normal changeling.

edit: oh, "renegade hive"? that implies official hives...

It wasn't quite the usual chaos when she reached the bakery. The usual chaos was probably at the cottage, still trying to get every last mission detail out of Fluttershy. (The caretaker would be holding back as much as she could, because she didn't want to give him anything he could blame .)

oh, "the usual chaos" is Discord. :pinkiehappy:

oh, there's a scene in one of my favorites, "shifting melodies" where an older changeling ACTUALLY spanks her with a newspaper!
and...his nickname is Massive Balls! Celestia falls off her throne laughing when he says that!

So Luna was using the magical equivalent of this?

Another delightful confection. I would have expected Pinkie to make some use of her reality-bending powers for a workaround, but perhaps it only works when it's for parties or funny, and it's funnier when the FAIL is uninterrupted.

I thought it was a circular saw blade.

Changelings are always fun to see. Thoroughly cathartic ending.

...It's not "opinion", it's just a fact, you were wrong.

Fairly similar to my experience with a wrist brace where it has a metal rod running the length of it. Jackets wouldn’t fit over it, all manner of tasks became not impossible but at least way too difficult, and best of all was the ongoing knowledge that I was going to be wearing if for a staggeringly long bit of time.

Honestly its actually a good plan. It was just the fact that its operation required a constant stream of updates. It had to be always online. It might have worked if the updates only went out a few times a day and wasnt a constant annoyance.

Same here. I expected her to actually his question at the end of the daydream.

Ooo, I missed that reference because the term would be an appropriate equine-related term anyhow.


I don't think you can dig tunnels with one of those?

Ordinarily, no. On the other hand, magic. It's not clear what it is.

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