Cara's Collection of Curious Curios

by Esalen

Pot and the City (Contest)

Author's Note:

Prompt was 'High Society' with a focus on unicorns. Yes, I wrote about weed purely for the pun.

Scootaloo took a pull off the joint, inhaling through the rolled tube, then releasing it in a steady stream of smoke. Silently, she hoofed it off to the white unicorn laying next to her.

“Scoots?”

“Wassup,” the pegasus lazily let her head roll to the side so she was looking at her partner.

“How do I do this?”

Scootaloo reached out and took the joint back.

“Watch,” she put it to her lips. “Inhale, pause and take another breath, then let it out.” The smoke drifted up from her lips, dissipating into the cool night air. Sweetie took the joint back, sucking her cheeks in as she inhaled.

“F-fuck,” she coughed, sitting up.

“You get used to it.” Apple Bloom reached out with her hoof. Sweetie gave her the joint, and laid back down, staring up into the stars.

“Hey, babe?” Scootaloo rasped.

“Yeah?” Both Sweetie and Apple Bloom turned their heads to look at their third.

“Sweetie, you’re a unicorn.” Scootaloo flailed a hoof in the air. “Why are all the Canterlots... Cankerlopians…”

“You mean Canterlotians?” Apple Bloom took a pull and hoofed the joint back to Sweetie, who took a cautious hit, grimacing as her eyes watered. Thankfully she didn’t cough this time, but she eagerly passed the clover to her pegasine partner.

“Yeah, the Camperlokians. Why are they all such snobs?”

“Uh,” Sweetie drew in a breath, then released it. “I don’t know. Probably something to do with the foundation of Equestria. Ask the history buff.” She nudged Apple Bloom with her elbow.

“Huh? What’d you say?”

Sweetie blinked slowly. Had she asked a question? “Did I say something?”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Someone’s high.”

“Am I?” Sweetie watched the silvery smoke of the joint spiral into the stars distractedly.

“Eeyup,” Apple Bloom shifted, rolling closer to the unicorn. “You’re feeling lighter, ain’tcha.”

Sweetie paused, taking stock of her body. Her thoughts, while less frantic, were shrouded in a haze as she tried to recollect them. Her body did feel lighter, and she could feel her pulse resonating throughout herself.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Scoots was asking you about Canterlot. Why the unicorns there are so stuck up.”

“Comes from the founding days,” Apple Bloom waved a hoof before letting it fall onto the grass with a dull thump. “Princess Platinum had a superiority complex.”

“A what?” Scootaloo asked.

“Superiority complex. Means they think they’re better than everyone else. You would know if you paid attention in school.”

“I pay attention!”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a deadpan stare.

“Y’know, to things I’m interested in.”

Bloom shook her head. “And you wonder why your grades are low.”

“Shut!” Scootaloo flailed, nearly hitting Sweetie in the face. “But if Platinum had a susperiory complex, why didn’t the rest of the founders, y’know, like stop it.”

“Wasn’t it because of Clover or something?” Sweetie dimly recalled something about the mage from one of their past history lessons. “She was like, uber powerful or something? Could wipe out the other tribes?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Apple Bloom sat up and rummaged around in her sack. “Anyone hungry?”

“You’d better have packed something other than apples.” Scootaloo rolled over towards the pack. Sweetie giggled, then poked Apple Bloom with her hoof.

“So, like, it’s all Platinum’s fault?”

“Pretty much,” the earth pony replied through a mouthful of apple.

“But why are the nobles so snobby today?” Scootaloo rolled back, a juice box between her front legs.

“You know how they are, gotta be trendy.”

Sweetie took another hit. “So, they’re all jerks because Platinum was a jerk? That’s dumb.”

Apple Bloom setted against the unicorn’s side. “Eeyup. Nopony ever said them nobles were smart.”

“So it’s like tradition to be a jerk?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s dumb.” Scootaloo took a slurp from her juice.

“I just said that!” Sweetie poked the pegasus in the side.

“Well, I said it too, so nyeh!” Scootaloo stuck her tongue out. Sweetie stuck her hoof out to poke the pegasus again, but promptly forgot about it as another thought came to the forefront of her mind.

“What if Platinum hadn’t had a stick up her flank?”

Scootaloo took a pull. “They’d probably all be like Twilight.”

“Nerdy shut ins?” Apple Bloom smirked.

“Naw,” Scootaloo waved a hoof. “Y’know, chill.”

The three sat in silence for a couple minutes before Sweetie spoke up.

“I’m so glad we live here instead of in Canterlot.”

“Eeyup.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.”