Summary
It's the day of Matilda and Cranky's wedding, and Bon Bon is finally able to admit to Lyra her secret past as Agent Sweetie Drops. Then later that night, her other secret: that she has been in love with her for years. But Lyra has a secret of her own to tell. Something that disturbs her.
She heads north, to the Crystal Empire, to consult with the Princess of Love.
Spoiler Summary
A religious fundamentalist visits a demi-goddess of her religion to ask her to put her allosexual marefriend through conversion therapy to turn her demisexual. Said demi-goddess, who is somehow a very tired atheist academic sexual ethicist, helps her get over her allophobia instead.
Content
Sex: Nothing is depicted, but this is a story that takes the "Lyra has a human fetish" thing seriously, and treats it as something for her potential partner to come to terms with, particularly how it intersects with the parts of Lyra's sexuality that are stigmatized in this version of Equestria. Thus, sexuality and the Equestrian perception of its ethical bounds are discussed heavily in Part 2. This includes hinting at (but not naming or describing) some unpleasant things and the unleashing of the rage of a demi-goddess over it.
Author's Note
Thanks to Gay For Gadot for feedback on the first draft!
This is my attempt at not only taking the whole "Lyra has a human fetish" idea seriously, but also taking very seriously the canon depiction of sex (that is, it is never mentioned or even implied, because it is a show for children).
I've had this very canon-deviant headcanon for Princess Cadance for a long time, given her nation's isolation from the rest of Equestria and the whole "Princess of Love" thing being a little too on-the-nose for my liking, going by straight canon. I had a lot of fun writing her interactions with my version of Bon Bon, who is the Equestrian version of a religious fundamentalist.
I like the implication that the Bearers were somehow responsible for the bugbear showing up. I'm mystified by it, but amused as well.
In any case, you paint a fascinating and compellingly different society. One sculpted by Celestia for a millennium will logically have some differences compared to the ones we know, especially in term of religion. I can only imagine what Twilight went through during her post-ascension adjustment period, assuming Ponyville has a strong fundamentalist contingent. (On the one hand, they're right next to Canterlot. On the other, that means many have actually interacted with Celestia, which can deaden the awe a little.)
Cadence is equally fascinating, and almost terrifying in her own right. The bureaucracy of love, complete with tax brackets, is one of the most disturbing ideas I've encountered in a while. Still, it definitely works to keep the cold out. At the end of the day, Bonbon's blind faith is even more worrisome. I can only imagine how Celestia deals with that lot.
Excellent stuff from start to finish. You do conceive of incredibly interesting Equestrias.
...The heck is a 'pariah' society?! What do they do that's so bad they receive that label?
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Is this a SciShimmer reference or whatever that ship is called? I haven't watched EqG stuff past Forgotten Friendship.
Thank you! There are actually almost no such ponies living in Canterlot/Ponyville/Cloudsdale by design, and Bon Bon was only able to grow up in such a household because she comes from far-away Bronclyn. One of Celestia's overarching goals for Her reign was to transform the medieval society that existed at the beginning to the one we recognize today: pluralist, secular, and liberal. Transferring power to Twilight and essentially re-founding Equestria was the culmination of that plan. This also explains why the regal-ness of Celestia noticeably diminishes over the series run: She is deliberately trying to diminish Her role so as to make the transition easier. And yes, Twilight certainly has a LOT to adjust to, and a LOT of really big decisions to make straight out of the gate.
It's how I imagine the internal state of Princesses to be. They are burdened with all of the secrets and decision-making responsibilities of a continent-spanning nation, but not only that, they are biologically stronger and longer-lived and distinct from their subjects. How can they not be frightening?
The concept of legibility is one of my favorites, and a well I return to a lot for my worldbuilding. The more important a resource is to a state, the more legible its generation and taxation must be, so this seemed to be the only logical way for the Crystal Empire to function. Cadance's personality proceeded from that more than anything.
Also, there is a really fun irony that Chrysalis wasn't bad because she drained love from ponies. She was bad because she did not do it sustainably and equitably under an implied voluntary social contract with a legitimate government.
It's a very interesting tension. On the one hoof, such ponies are kept deliberately marginalized and away from positions of actual power, since power in the hands of true believers in anything other than power itself is unpredictable and dangerous. On the other hoof, their devotion makes them excellent intelligence service agents.
Thank you! I do try. The canon society being so different from our own and having to reconcile that really does help with the creativity.
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The exact details are deliberately left vague, both for Bon Bon's sake and the reader's!
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Yes, but the support in canon isn't as much as I'd like. Don't mind me, just crowbarring in my OTP
No one expects the Royal Inquisition!
As always, an excellent little story! Thanks for writing.
So this is Equestria's equivalent to finding out someone is a furry.
I find the idea of government-managed love to be amusing. Nothing like arranged marriages or anything, but putting single adults into higher-paying tax brackets than other Crystal Empire citizens. Like, you either contribute to the safety of the community by keeping the Heart charged, or you can't afford luxuries. I imagine mixers and such would be quite popular in this version of the Crystal Empire.
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Think of anything sex related you'd get arrested for. The sort that scars victims for the rest of their lives. Those things.
r/skinny_irl
This took me to a fascinating place, made me think of things I hadn't previously considered. Asking some basic questions about setting can result in some truly remarkable interpretations of how it works. This was really weird. I loved it.
Well, wise of her. It isn't biologically impossible for ponies to do bad stuff either, it just seems so due to a well developed revulsion to the very notion, and the society at large.
Its better to label the society and not its people.
Nuking these places from orbit like Cadence asked would kill the victims.
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There are very clear implications. Remember how type 1s where described and remember Pariah societies (and species for some fucking reason) are labeled for engaging in them.
Chapter 1:
"Ponyville’s legitimate government"
...Well, that phrasing naturally has me wondering exactly why she felt a need to specify that middle word there...
"But Lyra laid there for a long time"
"But Lyra lay there for a long time"?
"They were bipedal, which reminded her of dragons or griffons"
Griffons? Interesting. Dragons too somewhat, though at least some of them seem to be primarily bipedal for at least some significant portions of their lives.
And not minotaurs, also interesting.
Oh, thought looking at the next paragraph, maybe that wasn't actually supposed to be about bipedalism, but having hands? Not sure why it's phrased the way it is, if so, though, and it still leaves out minotaurs... though more understandably, then, at least if minotaurs and things designed for/by minotaurs aren't very prominent in this world.
"The range was actually pretty similar to that of what pony skin looked like under those colorful coats."
Hm, interesting.
[looks at clock]
Thoooough I think I may need to try and clamp down on comments, sorry. I was originally hoping to be getting up around four and a half hours ago, then at least to be going to bed around three hours ago, and, ah, well, here I am. And I have more I still very much want to get done before bed after this, so much has kept coming up today... So, yes, better try to get through this more quickly, I think.
Chapter 4:
"Cozy Glow and her minions"
Phrasing that I'm sure Tirek and Chrysalis would be thrilled by.
...
Argh, no, nearly made it to the end without commenting, come on, a bunch more words to process elsewhere even came in since your previous text here!
"She had nothing to actually worry about because humans weren’t real, and one would never, ever, ever, ever show up in their lives."
And depending on which Equestria she lives in, that may even be true. :D
Well, the second part. The first part, given what Cadance thought, might involved some hair-splitting around the definition of "human" and this comment is getting longer again argh.
So! Yes, thank you for writing, and I enjoyed the story. I did take enough time to enjoy the text, I think, even if I didn't take as much time to think and write about it as I might have otherwise. And also I'm tired and my coherence may be suffering a bit, sorry about that too.
But yes, interesting story, with many interesting details, and enjoyable!
Not unexpectedly. :)
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Consider that this is pretty clearly an Equestria that's coping with rampant specieism that Celestia is trying to work out, and that this is a world with Changelings.
A society, and species at this pre-Thorax point in time, basically exists through multiple forms of rape. And sees nothing wrong with that.
I can see where they'd consider labelling an entire species like that right along with their society perfectly logical. Possibly even a simple matter of self-defense.
kek, it's like trying to slowly explain all the pony merch in the room, and then also trying to explain the horse dildo
Hmm.
Well, I do see where this version was changed/improved upon over that first draft that I looked at a while back. You certainly present a vastly different picture of Equestria than in my own headcanon, especially your characterization of Cadance. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, necessarily, as it was intriguing enough to keep me reading. "Weary bureaucrat Cadance" is something I think that is unique to you and this story, along with things like canon demisexuality and the designation of different pariah species/levels of deviancy.
Bon Bon as a religious fundamentalist was another unique take on the character, but I think you made it work. Her and Cadance's conversation flowed well as a fundamentalist challenged and compromised by the contradictory nature/lifestyle of someone they care about deeply; despite the idiosyncrasies of that conversation, I think you made it work well in this version.
Had a good laugh at the rubber hands. Cadance may not want to be known as the love/sex guru, but talk about a really... hands-on gift...
Nothing I'm gonna directly point out in this one, both because I feel like everything is so connected within the story and your larger headcanon that pointing out little bits here and there loses the context, and because I gave enough feedback on the first draft that I don't have much to point out here. A very creative take on an Equestria that very much belongs to you.
Cue the jams
Have a review, courtesy of the Reviewer's Mansion!
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Thank you so much! I will work up the courage to read it
I adore. most of all I like how Cadence avoids mistakes