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With school in full force, you are just waiting for something, anything to happen to make this year different and more exciting than the previous year of high school. What you didn't expect to happen was turn into a miniature horse from your dreams in the middle of school...help?
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Criticism is appreciated as I am a new writer and still learning.
Also this is not a 5s/4 fic or any other already existing universe.
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I will admit how he transformed is pretty confusing because it came off as some random cosmic even or perhaps he is just unlucky. Not impossible to fix later.
Story has potential but needs more chapters to really shine. You set the foundations so what you do from here will decide a lot in the future.
Not entirely true, but whatever.
Your title made me think of this.
(I'm not sorry.)
I'm ehh About It so far but that could change with time
I rushed the first two chapters but I intend on going back and fixing them up. It could definitely be better.
Just one thing. Please remember to put punctuation.
I am absolutely loving this story!
Welcome to the transformation realm, =3
As you know, I have years of experience in being transformed a lot, ever since September of 2016 for me in fact. X3
To quote Bugs Bunny, "I'll be scared later; Right noiw I'm too mad."
Wrong~!
You don't know the half of it.
Tracked
Oh this is gonna get good!
Just don’t let him be caught.
Keep up the chapter work!
'thy', perhaps? Also, that looks like a statement rather than a question.
Thanks for pointing that out. It's now fixed.
This might just be me but should anyone ever feel embarrassed by natural bodily noises that don't do anything? This has happened across so many other fics. Am I just missing a cultural thing?
~lines
"Alright, so there-" You start but are cut short by an all to familiar sound
*Grumble*
"Heh, could we talk about this over breakfast?" You trying to hide your embarrassment.
Also should this have an added "about"?
"Well, how "about" something I know, like cereal with milk?" He asks while resuming his walk to the kitchen.
That 5 score joke just made this chapter xD
great chapter! keep it up!
Oh god yes. More ponies!!
Keep it up!
Nice one.
My sentiments exactly. Also,
Considering the possible implications, their children's situation might soon be the least of their worries.
The ponies intensify!
Oh snappers, literally different to what I usually read. Keep it up
Don't jinx it.
DAMN IT DISCORD YOU SWITCHED THIER DAMN GENDERS
This is actually really good for a newbie, I’m impressed. I’m liking it so far.
That’s perfect😂😂😂
I can’t believe I just got Rick Rolled
That was fucking perfect!
Also, I can’t wait for when u come of hiatus, this is a wonderful story.
hay why stop the story? continue it
10645736
I'm rewriting it. Just check out my stories page
10645945
can you put a link to the new one?
10646446
Here is the link to the new story
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/486293/so-yea-now-im-a-pony
Horses can, and do, eat some meats like fish. But don't worry; it's a really common misconception, and I've gotten used to it.
Why'd Preston have to use a key to unlock his own door from the inside?
10575712
Thankfully, it played an ad, so I was able to back out before it actually started.
oi continue it
Very well written for a beginner. Really good work. It seems to me that not only members of this community should see it. Have you thought about posting this work in any publication? I think the world should see it. It is even possible to translate it into other languages. If you decide to do it, I have one good site where you can choose a translation service for yourself . You can learn here the info about such services. This site is good because in addition to the list of companies here you can find customer reviews of these companies and many other information that is useful when choosing such a bureau.