• Member Since 11th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 26 minutes ago

TheEighthDayofNight


"What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also." -Julius Caesar.

T

With her and her sister’s retirement, Luna was left with but two things; her night sky, and her love for her sister. It was when her sister moved back to Canterlot to stay with Twilight Sparkle that she realized that a sister’s love wasn’t enough; she wanted more. So, saying her goodbyes, the lunar alicorn set off on a long march across Equestria. Decades pass, and when she exhausts Equestria, Luna begins traveling through dimensions.

My entry to the A Most Delightful Ponidox contest
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Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 6 )

Luna felt a slight touch of mirth at the thought of the more mature Discord. Due to the nature of chaos magic, he couldn’t reliably extend his life, and while he had made his chosen love into a draconequus, both he and Lady Fluttershy were beginning to age. Perhaps in another century or two he would be bearable to be around, perhaps even pleasant.

someone's seeking a slapping

Well. This was certainly a thing.

I say I enjoyed the story. The only thing I can even halfway complain about us I wish we'd have gotten some sort of reunion with sunny. Not the romantic kind but like a joyful nostalgic reunion. Other than that it was a really enjoyable story.

10489577
Unfortunately because of word count restraints, I had to cut some ideas I had. What you see is what I could do to stay within 15k (cause implementing any other additions made it too wordy).
Thanks though, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Equestria would be dust, as would whatever planet her sister and the other alicorns created, by the time she perished.

The nation, yes. The planet, not necessarily. Now we're getting into billions of years, assuming Celestia's sun behaves like this universe's naturally occurring fusion reactors. Which is admittedly a pretty big assumption.

“True, but where is the challenge in that? Have you never wanted to put your skills to the test Moony? Have you never wanted to see if your mind was sharper than your body?”

I'm lukewarm towards Gamer Luna, but I can appreciate her telling Nightmare Moon to git gud.

How dare you abandon your ponies? How dare you run from your failure and cower here where I have created a paradise?”

So wait, Nightmare was just fine with thinking that Luna had been sole ruler of her world but gets angry when it turns out that there were other capable rulers to govern in her stead? I get it, she has issues with Celestia, but surely what she thought earlier is even more irresponsible.

What had truly surprised her when she had stumbled upon the tall white alicorn serving hot chocolate, was that so were the ponies.

Okay, but if they're entirely magicless, how and why do some have horns, feathered wings, or both? Indeed, how does a completely mundane horse, sapient or not, prepare a cup of hot chocolate? That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

Moon Moon giggled and managed to build up enough flight power to lift herself onto Luna’s head.

Oh. I see. When you say "no magic," you just mean nonfunctional horns, because winged ponies spitting in the face of aerodynamics are clearly not at all supernatural. :ajbemused:

Luna stuck gold when she found program targeted directly at special ponies; namely alicorns.

But if ponies aren't magical, why are alicorn special on a marketable, desirable level rather than just being a novel mutation?
Ah. Ominous, sinister, and above all else nonspecific reasons. Of course. Luna could perform some more complex spells to demonstrate she's not what Sunny thinks she is... but that would require a level of trust she accidentally destroyed. Yeah, that much checks out.

Luna closed her eyes and placed her muzzle in Nightmare’s starry mane, nuzzling her angel soft hair.

Given that she lived alone in the woods and was twisted by dark magic, the angels in question were those flaming wheels covered in eyes, but still.

Nightmare reached a hoof out and gently prodded the lightbulb. As soon as her hoof tip touch it, it sputtered out.

Another nudge might have reconnected the loose wire, but that would undercut the symbolism at work.

... and the first sunrise in over a decade painted Equestria orange.

Wait, earlier she demanded to know who had slipped knowledge of the sun to pony-Bethesda. Did she really expect all knowledge of the thing to die out in less than twenty years?

Okay, I do like the kintsugi at the end. Always a good way to symbolize acknowledging faults and learning from them without trying to bury or ignore them. All told, there's a good story here, but the setting rarely holds up to scrutiny and your sense of time feels skewed at times. Not bad, but it could've used an outside perspective to poke at the holes before I could. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

I'm not a big fan of the video games making their way into the story, mostly because they are entirely unexplained? I know Gamer Luna is a thing, but isn't what I'd expect by default. The dimension-hopping could do with some more context, too. The world with humans and space travel definitely threw me off, and I only partially recovered. The final meeting with Nightmare was generally more enjoyable, at least.

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