Hell - Fimfiction

Hell

Mistakes happen, even to the great Discord. A mix of paperwork and a dash of chaos put Discord in the one place he was sure was for other ponies.

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Comments ( 7 )

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Ghosted Note

Ghosted Note #1 · Aug 28th, 2012 · · ·

An amusing tale.

PrelateZ

PrelateZ #2 · Aug 28th, 2012 · · ·

Hmm, yes, quite. I rather enjoyed this. A like and watch for you, author.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
*Enters Editor Mode*
“Dissycord. Gets it right.” Paul whacked Roots with one of his singed wings, a feeling of superiority washing over him as the pony cringed. “It’s Discord, you idiot. Did you get whacked too hard?” A wicked smile crossed his face. Paul opened his beak, but the only thing that came out was a scream of horror as Roots sent him flying into the black walls of the amphitheater. Roots fell back laughing, rolling in the black sand and squealing in delight. “Yous see that Mister Dissycord? Paul went a’flying! Take that prissy griffon.”
You can't have more than one speaker in the same paragraph. Beside that, I think there are a couple minor errors to look over, but it's often hard to tell with the way Roots and Paul speak. The rest is fine.

Oh, and this: "Discord resisted the urge to ask what they had done once they passed the Room of Eternal Toe Stubbing." Out of everything in this fic, this one sentence had me laugh aloud for a moment. Thanks for that.

Deceased