• Member Since 15th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Nova_Blast


It's not getting from A to B. It's not the beginning or the destination that counts. It's the ride in between that matters

T

In the time before time, the Great Spirit descended from the sky, carrying we, the ones called the Matoran, to this island paradise. We were separate and without purpose, so the Great Spirit blessed us with the three virtues: unity, duty, and destiny. We embraced these gifts and, in gratitude, we named our island home Mata Nui, after the Great Spirit himself.

Our happiness didn’t last forever. Mata Nui’s brother, Makuta, was jealous of the glory and betrayed him. He cursed Mata Nui, who fell into a deep slumber. Makuta’s power dominated the land, as fields withered away, sunlight grew cold, and ancient values were forgotten.

Still, all hope was not lost. Legends told of six mighty heroes, the Toa, who would arrive to save Mata Nui. Time would reveal that these were not simply myths – for the Toa did appear on the shore of the island. They arrived with no memory, no knowledge of one another – but they pledged to defend Mata Nui and its people against the darkness. Tahu, Toa of Fire, Onua, Toa of Earth, Gali, Toa of Water, Lewa, Toa of Air, Pohatu, Toa of Stone and Kopaka, Toa of Ice. Great warriors with great power, drawn from the very elements themselves. Together, they were six heroes with one duty: to defeat Makuta and save Mata Nui

To many this story is a familiar one, but what if things didn't quite go according to the legend? what if through mishap and badluck a certain six heroes ended up getting drawn into the events that unfold.

this is that story


a crossover with Lego's Bionicle series during the first generation, inserting the mane 6 into the start of the 2001 storyline and working them into the plot. the timeline for the mane six is some point before the finale of season 9, perhaps in the interlude between seasons 8 and 9, though I'm leaving it deliberately ambiguous beyond being set late in the series timeline.

Admittedly this whole idea was inspired by binge reading the MCU crossover series by JDPrime22, and revolves around very much the same concept, though I can guarantee this will be its own thing.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 10 )

Looks good so far, but it is hard to judge a story on only one chapter
Great work and excited for more
You have my full support for this idea

First off, two major corrections need to be made. First, in the main description, the three virtues are supposed to be Unity, Duty, and Destiny. I don't know why you chose to replace Destiny with something that's essentially the same thing as Duty, but I really don't like seeing such a serious divergence from the official content. :facehoof: Second, in this first chapter, you identified both Rainbow Dash and Applejack as the Element of Loyalty. Applejack is supposed to be the Element of Honesty, and I can't tell you how much I despise some of the oldest stories on this site where some writers deliberately chose to swap Rainbow Dash's and Applejack's elements just because they felt it was somehow more "accurate". :twilightangry2:

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly looking forward to what you have in mind for this story. I just don't like seeing such a significant alteration to the basic framework of both worlds. I'll track this story, but I'm not yet confident enough to mark this as among my favorites.

This is a good story so far, watching this story.

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I completely missed the messed up three virties, blame that on the fact it was copied from the translation of the Hungarian version to Tale of the Toa (this is greatly expanded compared to the other language releases, if tyou go to Biomedia project you can read it and compare it to the version used for the rest of the world) and it slipped by, certainly, it wasn't deliberate.

likewise the mess up with Applejack is a typo, nothing deliberate. This is exactly why I call for comments of critique, so I thank you for catching these so quickly and I've also thumbed up your comment to show I actually support such criticism

As a huge bionicle fan, I’m already in love and can’t wait to see where this goes. I’m already guessing where each pony ends up (applejack in one Koro, pinkie in le Koro, rainbow in ta Koro) and it’s now my head cannon that fluttershy befriends all the rahi and is the sole reason Makuta switch’s to machine only minions

Although I'm relieved it was all just errors, I'm afraid the first one still isn't corrected, because now I see the word "Duty" listed twice, rather than the last one replaced with "Destiny". And since you're asking for us to point out any other errors, I suppose I should also mention that I keep seeing sentences where the first word is not capitalized, though I won't bother pointing out any in particular as there's just too many of them.

My advice for you would be that you could avoid a lot of these typos and errors if you simply read through the completed chapter before posting it. Every time I write a new chapter for one of my stories, I always carefully read through the whole thing twice, one before copying it into the editing page, and once again after copying it into the editing page but before hitting the publish button. I know it can be rather time consuming (I often spend an entire afternoon rechecking my latest chapter before actually posting it for all to see), but trust me, it'll really help you catch and correct a lot of possible errors so you won't have to rely on others to point them out to you.

Ok, I am going to love this story I can tell. I also love the design choice of making the bionicle beings a mix of robotic and organic, certainly adds to the universe in a great way!

At least you didn't seem to make quite as many errors as previously, I'll tell you that much. Aside from the occasional uncapitalized words at the start of some sentences and missing bits of punctuation at the end of other sentences, the only significant error I really noticed was that you misspelled boulder as "baulder" in the early part of the chapter.

The story's already starting to look more interesting, though I'll probably wait until after a few more chapters before I can consider whether or not to add this to may favorites list.

Ahh tree-speak, I remember the days I spent teaching myself the fine language.

Still seeing some occasional misuse of punctuation, but at this point, at least it's infrequent enough that I'm sure most readers might not mind, especially with how this story has been progressing so far.

So it looks like you've decided to have Rainbow Dash in the region of fire and Pinkie Pie in the region of air, both of which I agree are the best matches for those two. I'm sure you've already planned the rest, but here's what I personally think would fit best for the other four. Twilight should go with the region of ice, since many Ko-Matoran tend to be more of the scholarly type like her. Fluttershy should go with the region of water, since her compassion for all things in nature fits in with Gali and the Ga-Matoran. The last two I honestly had some difficulty trying to decide, but I ultimately settled with Rarity for the region of earth (due to her experience with finding gems in caves), and Applejack for the region of stone (because her strength and athleticism would fit well with the village famous for the sport of Koli/Kolhii). Like I said, these are just my preferences that I'll end up using once I eventually get around to writing my own Bionicle crossover, so I guess we'll soon see how many of them turn out to be an agreement between us.

While I'm still not yet ready to add this story to my favorites list, I will add it to the Bionicle section of the Lego stories group.

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