Cutie Mark Crusaders Fantasian City-State Historians, YAY!!!!!!

by Dragonborne Fox

Sixth Day, Morning Part II—Boorish Banishment

The Crusaders could tell there was a chill in the air, and it certainly did not come from their undead chaperone. Indeed, she seemed to sense it too, and turned her head to scan the room and listen in on the hushed clamor. The mood had shifted; now the soldiers were quiet, with wings buzzing, all looking around and wondering what had happened. The Sunnytowners and villagers of Greenwood took heed, and accordingly hushed themselves up. The gryphons' feathers rustled, and some puffed out their tails.

Lance seemed to notice the change in the air as well. His wings rustled. "What on Fantasia is happening?" he muttered, looking around to find anything off.

Pinkie came over to the table, frowning—with a very twitchy tail. Spike wilted, eyes widening as he beheld it. "Uh-oh… should we get the sand bunkers?" he asked worriedly.

Pinkie sighed. "I'm not sure we'll need that, but it couldn't hurt to be extra-extra sure," she answered. "After all, I don't know what's gonna fall this time."

Katie sank into her seat. "If it does fall here, can I have a helmet on my head?" she asked. "I don't want any concussions." Pinkie nodded, reached into her mane, dug around for a bit while going cross-eyed, and pulled her hoof back out to produce a hardhat that she plunked on the wraithling's head.

"I'm still wondering how she does that…" Anna muttered, just loud enough to be heard across the mess hall.

"Trust me, I've tried studying it," Twilight replied, also loud enough to be heard across the mess hall. "I wasn't able to get anywhere with my attempt."

"Is… is it a doozy?" Scootaloo asked, frowning.

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, it's a doozy. A big one," she answered.

Flash Sentry frowned. "Should I be concerned…?" he asked warily.

The Crusaders nodded. "You should be. Very, very concerned," Scootaloo answered firmly. Natalie promptly pulled a helmet of her own from the ether, and plonked it on her head just in case it started raining trees or something.

"Don't worry; I always pack extra extra helmets in case of helmet emergencies," Pinkie said, reaching into her mane once more to produce a whole stack of them. The Crusaders, Zecora, and Flash got extra helmets on their heads, and the last one of the stack went to Pinkie's head as well. Flash's didn't quite fit on his normal guard helmet, but hey, it was the thought that counted.

"Last time we heard she sensed things falling, Matt decided to be an idiot…" Natalie grumbled under her breath.

The other soldiers took the cue from Pinkie, and all proceeded to plunk helmets on their heads. The higher-ups at the tallest booth followed suit, and somewhere in the throng, Twilight procured more helmets for the rest of her group. Shining trotted to the table in full Guard Captain armor, complete with a helmet on his helmet and a frown on his face. "The last time I sensed this sort of chill was before the Void came over Greenwood…" he muttered, looking around for any signs of foul play.

Yet, nothing happened otherwise. Was the doozy Pinkie sensed holding its breath, perhaps? He and everyone else could tell something was amiss, yet nobody could figure out what it was.

"If the doozy isn't here, then it wouldn't happen to be near?" Zecora offered, garnering a shake of the head from Pinkie.

"Nope, though it might actually come here…" Pinkie frowned contemplatively. "This is a smaller doozy than the one six days ago, when Lance told me about the party poopers who messed him up." She shrugged, tail still twitching. "Like… slightly smaller. Couldn't tell ya how, though."

Great. The Crusaders now had cause to duck under the table in case things went awry, even as they considered the thought that whatever would fall just might break the table upon landing. Already they could see some soldiers conjuring blasters out of the ether, their trigger hooves twitching. Katie started tapping a hoof against the table, in a steady, fast-paced beat that might have been meant to calm her nerves.

"Daddy? Why's everyone twitching?" Maria asked. "And what's with the funny hats?"

"In case whatever falls lands on you, and tries to hit your head," Lance answered. "It protects your skull."

Well, at least the military was heeding the Pinkie Sense. It wouldn't have been a wise decision if they hadn't. Then again, maybe they had seen weirder, since it seemed to rain giant swords every other incident. The trio traded looks with one another. "What if it's just like a vase falling in the factory and knocking down those computer things?" Sweetie asked.

Apple Bloom shook her head. "The soldiers would've taken care of that already," she replied. "Might've glued the whole lot of 'em in place to keep 'em from moving too much."

"True…" Sweetie conceded. "And they would've repaired the screens by now."

"Exactly, so it can't be the factory," Apple Bloom said, eyes sparkling with clear-etched confusion.

"And it can't be the hangars, or our gear since we secured it…" Scootaloo put a pencil eraser to her chin. "I mean, how can airships fall? That wouldn't happen unless they were shot out of the sky by the ION Cannon or something like it."

"I don't feel the ground shaking… so it can't be an earthquake…" Apple Bloom added, a hoof on her temples.

Flash Sentry crossed his forelegs. "I still don't get it…" he muttered, gears turning in his head as his mental gerbils threatened to melt the plastic of their working wheels. "I mean… I can't help but think back to when Blueblood's father yelled my ears off… something isn't right…"

"What else would stick out to you, besides his evident racism?" Natalie asked.

"Well… he said that homeless vagrants should be punished, made to serve their betters, and can't even understand the concept of love in his rant… and he blew his gasket again the night of the riot…" Flash muttered, shaking his head.

Natalie slammed a hoof on the table. "He said we couldn't—how dense is he?!" she demanded.

Flash shrugged. "Trust me, I'm still trying to figure that one out," he admitted.

"It's like learning I was the only one left speaking in Swarm-tongue," Katie said, shaking her head. "I'm croggled, too."

The trio turned to her. "What's Swarm?" they asked.

"Old changeling language, back when my hive was still standing," Katie answered with a sigh. "I hardly speak it anymore, due to nobody understanding it unless I translate." She shook her head, and turned to Flash. "But you said… the nobles said… we can't understand love?" she hedged.

Flash nodded sourly. "And hearing them say that, even in the back of my head, bothers me greatly…" he muttered in reply.

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"Just so I understand the situation perfectly clear," Celestia interjected, raising a hoof to signal a halt to the tirade, "you're saying the diplomats who came here have indiscriminately used the foul power you say they wield in the past?"

Duke Blueblood nodded. "Yes! A power most foul, that none should ever wield! The-th-th-the red-eyed pegasus, he… he came upon geas magic!" he gabbled, causing the nobles to trade incredulous looks.

"But he had no horn on his head!" Fancypants said, wide-eyed. "How could he have used the geas magic? It would have required a functioning horn to use, no?"

Discord waved the red flag, absolutely eating this up. Duke Blueblood nodded frantically, almost like a puppet on a string. "It matters not; he still knows how to use the magic, and could have imparted that knowledge onto the unicorns who accompanied him!" the Duke replied, causing the nobility to mutter once more.

Fancypants' brow furrowed. "Did… did you take too much whiskey before bed?" he hedged. That earned him a slap across the face from the Duke, causing him to stagger back and rub his cheek.

"It does not matter what habits I partake in before bed! The matter is strictly private!" the Duke barked. "What matters is that the Fantasians have forbidden magic! We should eradicate it!"

"But how can you eradicate forbidden magic, while also sparing the wielders of it?" Luna proposed, wondering where the Duke would take his tirade now.

"You sever the horns, quite simply. You ensure they do not regrow, or teach their forbidden arts to the next generation of impressionable young foals. Simply put: banishment to the moon would suffice," the Duke replied, keeping his gaze on Fancypants in case he tried speaking out of turn again. Discord conjured a sheaf of papers, and floated the stack over the nobles' heads and right to the podium where the Princesses sat. When Celestia looked at him, he winked slyly, and raised the white flag.

Celestia tucked the papers out of sight for now, to peruse at a later time. Duke Blueblood made to continue, whirling around to face the Princesses just as their gaze returned to him. "But… the Elements of Harmony are on Fantasia at the moment," Celestia said with a frown. "And I don't think the bearers would readily perform wanton banishment over there."

"At least without fully understanding the situation first and foremost," Luna agreed with a nod.

"But the bearers probably do understand how dire the situation is now!" Duke Blueblood argued. "They've spent enough time in that hovel of a planet to understand enough to warrant banishment of those brutes!"

The Princesses traded looks again. Cadence spoke up, "But as far as we can tell… as far as we know, contact with Fantasia was nonexistent until the barrier broke. How can you be so sure they understand the full scope of the situation already?"

"Because they will have been raised in nobility, or are following those of noble blood!" the Duke argued.

… technically true, Cadence had to admit, albeit loosely. Still, she held her tongue, wondering just how much of the news regarding Equestria Duke Blueblood selectively skipped over to accommodate his worldview. Luna wasn't so quiet, "And how does being noble correlate to being able to use the Elements of Harmony, exactly?"

"Because only nobles and those who follow their ideals can embody the core concepts of Harmony," Duke Blueblood said, a trifle smugly. "Laughter does not correlate to throwing countless parties, but should instead be made to lighten spirits in a more dignified manner; Loyalty should not be between ponies, but rather for the nation; Honesty can only be wielded by those pure of blood, for they always tell the truth; Generosity should only be applied when nobles give commoners rewards; Kindness is exercised when nobles deign fit to treat their subjects as well as they deserve. Magic is derived from those of purest blood, fit only to be wielded by those with horns."

… and now he had lost the ball. Fantastic. The Princesses frowned, though somehow, the Duke failed to notice this. Sadly, many of the nobles seemed to agree with the Duke, nodding in assent to his ridiculous proclamation. Celestia rose from her seat and banged her hoof on the podium she sat behind. "I do believe we can call a thirty-minute recess here," she said. "Cool ourselves off, gather our wits, and perhaps some horse sense, and then we can reconvene afterwards. Cooler heads have prevailed before, and they will prevail again."

The nobles muttered, but didn't say anything against her judgment as they stood up to file out of the room in an orderly fashion. Once the doors closed behind them, Celestia slumped in her chair, and pulled out the sheaf of papers that had appeared before her. She turned to Discord, who grinned in her direction. "These papers had better be worth it… I'm still angry we couldn't find the pony who funded that boarding school we shut down," she groused, eyes narrowing. "Nor could we find the bastard who had sent the Fantasian diplomats to that hotel…"

Discord giggled and made the flags, the pirate hat, and the cutlass vanish. "But that's why you keep me around, isn't it—to clean the corners that even you can't reach, Your Sunshininess?" he chirped.

Celestia wearily nodded and began to peruse the dossier that had been plopped before her. At least the nobles weren't around to have heard her use cruder words than she would normally let slip out of her mouth. She carefully scanned the pages, and slowly, her pupils narrowed to vertical slits as her eyes shone a dangerous orange. The air in the room began to swelter, her pastel mane slowly reforging itself into brilliant flames as her magic began to shake the papers she beheld.

Cadence began to back away. "I… I don't like that look…" she muttered, with a nod of agreement from Luna.

Celestia shuffled the papers, careful to avoid setting them on fire. She continued reading, her expression a portrait of genuine rage as she beheld what she was looking at. She said nothing, flipping the pages once more to behold a receipt on the third page. Instead, she waved Luna over with a wing and showed her the parchment. "Read that to me," was Celestia's blunt order. Gone was her motherly tone; now, her voice was a growling contralto that threatened to incinerate those responsible for the slight before her.

"... a receipt of five hundred thousand bits, distributed evenly, amongst Chocolate Soufflé, Napkin, and Rusty Pan… for the rapine and murder of the 'common-born unicorn mares' and 'hippogryph foal' amongst the visiting Fantasians… which will sextuple if carried out successfully, and a war is sparked with Fantasia…" she intoned, eyes widening slowly as she read that off.

Celestia nodded, and lifted a hoof to gesture to the bottom of the receipt. "Now that," she ordered.

Luna paled upon reading a signature at the bottom of the sordid paper. "... I, Duke Aegis Aurum Blueblood, hereby sign this document to bind myself legally to this contract and to ensure my end of the bargain is carried out…" she said, pupils shaking as she beheld it. She turned to her exceptionally pissed off sister and asked, "But those three who ran the hotel… hadn't we banished them already? To different parts of Fantasia so that their schemes can never again come to fruition?"

Celestia nodded. "And the signature…" She flashed her horn to scan it. Faint traces of purplish magic wafted from the ink-bound signature that came complete with a hoofprint, sporting blue sparkles as her aura washed over it for a few seconds. Both auras faded from the signature, and her glare could have curdled milk a thousand miles off with her findings. "It scries as authentic. Which means he truly intended to incite war on ponies who, as you have told me, suffered greatly." Her eyes narrowed at this.

"A war with Fantasia is the last thing we need. I have seen Windwood's monstrous strength before and after she was possessed by Nightmares; a battle with her and her cohorts would end disastrously no matter who came out on top," Luna agreed, frowning.

Celestia twitched upon hearing 'Nightmares' leave Luna's mouth. "They're struggling with them over on Fantasia?" she asked.

Luna nodded. "Very worryingly so, and few know they're even out and about," she confirmed. "There are… alternate means of dispatching them, but it requires the aid of the wraithling they recruited and military precision and timing on her part."

Celestia sighed, and turned her attention to Discord, figuring she could press for more details on Fantasia's Nightmare problem at a more convenient time. "And how did you receive this?" she asked, waving the sheaf of papers around for a moment.

Discord smirked. "Prince Blueblood himself found them in the family vault when he went to update something, and turned those over to me for safekeeping before he departed for Fantasia. I just waited for the right moment to pass them to you, now that you have the trials for the staff of the boarding school underway," he said. "He might be a twit in his own right, but even he has hard lines he wouldn't cross, and he couldn't stand the thought that dear ol' dad might get away with it otherwise."

Celestia smiled, though it was very faint. At least somepony of the Blueblood clan was looking out for their foreign nationals after all, however much he disagreed with them on trivial matters. She went back to scowling a moment later, and flipped the page to peruse the damning document. She had time yet, before the nobles would return to cankle her feathers some more over other pointless trivialities, and they would be in for a very nasty surprise when they returned.

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Flash paled as what he said earlier suddenly came back to gobsmack him with the force of a runaway train. "... what if he was the one who…" he trailed off, eyes wide with horror and dread.

Natalie caught on, eyes also widening at first, before quickly narrowing. "Did you tell Celestia?" she asked quietly.

Flash Sentry nodded. "I made sure to, before we departed for here, but I only told her about his hissyfit because I didn't consider what he was ranting about sooner," he said simply. "Do you think she might be following through with—" Before he could finish the question, another plaid-colored portal opened up, and out came another pony with his mane smoking in places. It was a posh unicorn, with his hooves polished to a suspicious shine. Save for his very light gray coat and aging mane, beard, and choice of attire, he bore a marked resemblance to Prince Blueblood otherwise, if a bit thinner in the legs and portlier in his gut due to age.

Discord popped his head out of the portal again, grinning evilly. "Princess Celestia has just had evidence of this boorish sap colluding with a certain hotel that's been recently torn down plopped before her hooves. After, of course, I worked my chaos magic to make him do a few subtle slips of the tongue as he tried to pass his insane drivel off as actual, boring sanity," he said, looking pointedly at Natalie and Anna as he said that.

"Not only has he been banished, with his debt not falling on his son's withers, but now he can consider himself equina non grata to Equestria for the stunt he pulled on you guys. Feel free to do as you will with him and his boorishness." With that, he pulled his head back into the portal, which closed behind him. As he departed, sheafs of papers plopped on Lance's table as if from nowhere, and he frowned at what he beheld.

Anna teleported over to the newest bastard to grace the block, and lifted a flap of his suit to expose his cutie mark, which was a mountain of bits overlaid by a blue-and-purple family crest featuring a crowned unicorn's head. She retracted her claw, took a very few measured steps back, and shook her head, waiting for this sap to realize he was still alive before she did anything else.

Eventually, the boorish unicorn rose to stand, frowning as he lifted a hoof to put out the small fires in his otherwise well-kept mane. "It's going to take weeks of treatments to fix that…" he grumbled, steel gray eyes gravitating upwards for the moment, which prevented him from seeing what he was now surrounded by.

Blueblood trotted to the Crusaders' table, scowling. "Of course… father just had to ruin my day by showing up here. And here I was, hoping to get away from his insanity. I should have disowned him sooner," he muttered, shaking his head. "At least I'm repairing the damage he did with his blunder…"

The elder Blueblood looked around, scowling at all the changeling and gryphon faces that had now cast their eyes upon him in judgment. It wasn't long before the hissing began, followed in short order by the squawking of the gryphons as all of the soldiers understood what Discord had implied. The boorish bastard then whirled around to meet the face of one of the mares he had somewhat indirectly hurt through his little act of setting them up to stay at a now-infamous hotel for one night with them none the wiser.

Of course, a part of him now began to realize just how thoroughly screwed he was, but the rest of his inflated ego drowned it out to let his mouth begin flapping. "You," he growled, glaring at her as if he could hope to intimidate her. "You're the one who couldn't keep her filthy frumptious hooves to herself, defiling Princess Luna's wings like that in a public space! You're lucky she had the sense to tell you to step back, you wretched lowborn!"

The Crusaders watched the exchange, wondering when Anna would pull out the amount of arrows needed to turn the boorish stallion into a sea urchin. Yet she hadn't, opting instead to regard him with her own withering glare, silently waiting for him to further damn himself with his own words. He failed to disappoint, "You should have been violated and made to grovel before your betters for much longer; you should have been made to serve every whim with nothing more than a smile on your face. And yet, that stupid Captain Shining Amor had to put a stop to your rightful punishment. Him and his commonborn sentimentalities—those very values held by the lowest of the lowborn continue to damn Equestria as we speak!"

Katie snapped her wings open. But before she could move from her seat, a partially amputated wing spread across the table and tapped her on the snout, a silent command from her superior to order her to sit. She obeyed, watching out of the corner of her sockets as Natalie stood up, closed her wing, and marched to stand at Anna's side with a particularly grim expression.

Spike watched, a wry smile on his face. The Crusaders didn't need a rocket scientist to figure out what was on his mind, for his expression gave it away—'he's screwed.' Prince Blueblood more or less had the same expression, if a trifle smug as befitting a noble about to watch a thorough dressing down.

Lance and Matt were also watching with rapt attention, the former holding Maria in place so she wouldn't jump off and hurt herself in the process of scrabbling to the bastard. All the while, the soldiers around them continued to hiss and crow, the volume rising to a near-deafening din even as they saw that their superiors still had yet to speak to their newest quarry. Their Equestrian diplomats remained silent, yet for the most part they were scowling at the bastard who presently lacked a shovel to dig himself even faster than he was currently hurtling.

The boorish bastard then turned to Natalie, though he wasn't a dim enough bulb in the box to avoid noticing her wings and glowing mane. "Y-y-you're—?!" he stammered, eyes widening a bit before returning to their not-really-intimidating-to-military-commanders glare. "It matters not; you should have stopped your fellow lowborn from even approaching Princess Luna, you two-bit false alicorn whorse," he hissed, causing more than a few soldiers to gasp at what he said to Natalie, to her face. "You should have taken it like the good little bitch you are, yet you and your equally-unimportant companion failed to comply. You both failed to die accordingly. Have you two not been taught that you are lesser than your betters because of your social standing? Have you two no shame?!"

Natalie and Anna traded looks without moving their heads, then flicked their eyes back to the damned soul before them, a soul who from the looks of it had graduated from 'heading for the Iron Hold' to 'going splat on the bottom of the Aerie.' And at the rate he was going, he might transcend from that to 'being used as target practice for the ION Cannon' or 'being smited by Godcat' if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

Wood crept up Anna's sides from her shoulders and haunches, alongside vines that tangled around the masses to hold them together. The Crusaders watched as the wood flushed seamlessly over her scars, sprouting leaves that formed into fully jointed wooden wings that remained closed for now. Blueblood's smirk widened fractionally, yet he held his tongue—it would be better for the boorish bastard to continue digging his own trench, than for him to think that he had any help here at all.

Lance, however, wasn't so quiet. The sound of moving papers could be heard from his booth. "Well, well, well… he was in cahoots with those three stooges. Paid them a hefty sum of money just to violate, then attempt to murder two of my right hooves, and try to do likewise for my adopted daughter on the off-chance she might squeal. As it stands, that plan was so poorly thought out, my formerly geased self could run laps around it. What do you think, Matt—should we let the girls handle this?" Lance asked, his voice chillingly cold. The Crusaders tried to ignore what he said, but it was kind of hard to do so with the weight his words carried.

Shuffling papers resonated throughout the mess hall. "So, the stooges name dropped this wiseass… how do you pronounce that, Duke Aegis Aurum Blueblood? And the charges are… conspiring to commit treason to the crown, paying accomplices to carry out a crime in his stead because he was too good to get his own hooves dirty, trying to revoke our diplomatic immunity even though we hadn't really known we had it at the time, indirectly and directly sanctioning rape, murder, and racism against diplomats… hrm?" Papers shuffled again, and anyone who would have looked up at that moment would have seen that Matt's brow furrowed, with purple-black mist pooling from his eyes as he read the dossier.

"And a testimony of his own, written out, detailing a plan to remove the alicorn Princesses from their throne to install a racist unicorn king or queen in their place, or alicorn if they can make a naturally born-one, thereby cementing the nobility's rule… and barring that, kill any Fantasian diplomats to start a war with whatever military powers were present, with the intent to wipe them from existence and keep them from threatening the order he seeks to build…" The sound of papers plopping against the table echoed throughout the mess hall like a withering sanction. "Yeah, we should let the girls handle Aegis Blueblood this time around; they can take him," Matt answered grimly. "The Duke looks like he couldn't hold his own against Applejack, much less a pair of somewhat disabled alicorns."

"So that's the bad pony who told the other bad ponies to hurt mommy and Auntie Natalie? The one who wants to hurt the nice Princesses?" Maria asked, the frown audible in her voice. "Are they gonna kick his ass?"

"Yes, sweetie, they're gonna kick his ass," Lance reassured Maria. "Just sit tight and watch."

The boorish bastard lit his horn and procured an ornate sword from the ether with a purplish aura sporting blue sparkles, a hilt of gold and a blade of some kind of silver alloy inscribed with the same family crest as the one on his mark, surrounded by solar motifs. Having ignored Lance, Matt, and Maria's banter in favor of focusing on the wooden and organic wings and horns before him, and therefore having also ignored his own impending doom and damnation in the process, he steeled his resolve.

"Perhaps I should cut those wretched things off, remove both your wings and horns so you'll only be known as the lesser whorses you are! And once I am through here, I'll find my way back to Equestria and do the same for those commoner-coddling Princesses and install a proper unicorn ruler to the throne!" he proclaimed, leaping towards Anna and Natalie with his blade poised to strike. As soon as his hooves hit the tile, he swung his blade, aiming for the younger Lieutenant-General standing before him.

Anna simply reached up and grabbed the blade with her barky claw, stopping its swing mere inches from her horn, a look of complete disinterest on her face and without batting an eye. The blade did not even penetrate the wood by an inch, leaving only a thin gash on an otherwise perfectly sanded surface. She wrenched it free from his magic without ever lighting her horn, twirled it around with her raised claw, and swung as soon as the hilt went into her grip—all before the boorish bastard could have the sense to back off. The ornate engravings on the blade lit up with power as she swung, causing the blade to glow white-hot as she made her retaliation quickly known.

Silence fell among the soldiers as the boorish unicorn found his own severed horn falling from his head, clattering to the floor with a series of pings that might as well have been deafening in the disquieting tranquility. "A blade for cutting off horns, enchanted to make sure they don't grow back, huh," Anna said, shaking her head as she regarded the sword without ever looking at the now horrified face of her so-called adversary.

She went on, "It would prove awfully convenient to silence your victims with this thing, and y'know, I witnessed a similar thing in Greenwood when I was younger, only it didn't quite end in death. I wonder why Celestia let you keep this sword…" She turned to Natalie, lowering the blade to the floor for a moment. "What if we smelt it down and had it reforged into something more… useful around here?"

"We'd have to disenchant it first, but I'll see what the soldiers can come up with," Natalie answered, her gaze still pointed at the blubbering idiot who had been seconds away from fully crippling her comrade. "As it stands, I'd wager this moron has had some more hefty charges we don't know about levied against him to effectively go from a cushy life to hornless at our hooves."

"Y-y-you… you took away the only thing that made me a proper unicorn stallion!" the boorish bastard howled, starting to back away before Anna spread her wooden wings and willed her vines to grab and root him to the spot by his front legs. He pulled and pulled, but he wasn't going anywhere.

"The only thing? Do you want me to cut off the other thing you consider important, or do you want me to have one of my soldiers do it?" Anna asked, turning to regard the glowing blade as she ran her claws against its sharp edge, ignoring the paling face of what would quite possibly be the weakest opponent of her whole military career. She craned her neck to the Crusaders' table and asked, "Hey, Prince, do you want this thing?"

"You can keep it; it's a family heirloom that had been used to remove the horns of those my so-called father perceives to have wronged him if he thought he could get away with it," Prince Blueblood answered, shaking his head. "If he could, he would have used it on the maids, on mother, on some of the guards…" He shrugged. "I'm not surprised in the least by his foul behavior, considering I grew up with it. And honestly, I was expecting him to underestimate you two, considering you're both… somewhat disabled."

Anna nodded, and made the blade vanish back to the ether for now. She turned back to Blueblood's so-called father, her gaze still disinterested even as her vines began carving rashes into his fur. Then she looked around at all the soldiers and asked, "Who wants to take this hornless priss to the Iron Hold, and who wants to geld him while we're at it?" For a moment, she didn't receive an answer from the surrounding retinue, but rather from the idiot who thought it was a good idea to attack her on her home turf in front of innumerable witnesses.

"Y-you're among the worst of the worst, socializing with callously cold-blooded changelings and garishly gruesome gryphons! You have wood and other assorted plant matter on you, like some filthy commoner! You fight without dignity or honor, instead taking the first cheap shot that you can lay eyes on! Who are you?! What are you?!" the boorish bastard asked, still tugging to no avail. Anna regarded him, expression still somewhat disinterested even as her face darkened and her eyes glinted a dangerous shade of crimson.

"What am I?" Anna repeated, her voice cold. "What am I?" She barked out a mirthless laugh, one that sent shivers down the Crusaders' spines as soon as it began echoing in the mess hall. "What I am, currently… here on Fantasia, I'm so far ranked above you I could scrape you off of my bark without batting an eye. I could kill you, over and over, and none would have the heart to oppose me, save for the children behind me on a matter of principle. I could have you thrown to the wilds, in your current state, with absolutely none the wiser."

She did not lean into his face, drill into his soul with her gaze, or do anything of the sort. A dangerous, leonine growl began to resonate in her throat with the next words she had spoken, a predatory sound that only promised to rip and tear. "I could relegate you to a pathetic existence of suffering without end, keeping you alive for however long I wished so that you would cry out for death that wouldn't come. I could trap you in horrible ailments, each without any merciful cures. The remnants of your life would be spent toiling away desperately, trying to find anyone to help you, only to be turned away because you had the misfortune of trifling with me."

Throughout the tirade, Anna hadn't raised her voice beyond a chilling, damning monotone that carried across the mess hall with the eerie tranquility that a fatal sickness used to slaughter its victims with. Nor had her expression shifted in the slightest, save for her eyes moving to look into his. The most that moved besides her mouth and eyes were her wooden wings, shuddering slightly as the bastard struggled to get away from the vines attached to them.

"And you will know my name before you expire in obscurity, in sickness, in damnation, yet you will find the words unable to leave your cursed tongue, for you will regret this day that you have been banished from your homeland to be welcomed into a fate most horrible. You will know that you trifled not with a so-called 'lowborn false alicorn whorse' as you have so thoughtlessly perceived, but rather, a calamitous force that sows agony and ailments upon whoever crosses her."

"And as you lay, dying in debilitating madness and fear and solitude, you will understand that you dared to attack Lieutenant-General Anna Aria Windwood, fourth member of the Children of Catastrophe, the Venomous Tongue of Agonizing Ailments in her own home, with nobody to come to your aid. For you have committed a great and foul crime, one most terrible—using shady, illicit means to sour diplomatic relations before they could even form." Her damning gaze could have curdled milk at this, but she pressed on regardless.

"That was your first mistake; the second was assuming that your lackeys were actually competent. And you mistook me for one easily subjugated by said feckless, witless lackeys that you thought were smarter than you gave credit for. And even if I technically was successfully subjugated for just that one moment in time, on the grounds that they managed to restrain me while I was asleep, you had the unmitigated gall to assume they wouldn't be caught in the first place, and that the small contingent I had thought to bring in advance with me wouldn't notice something was up—your third error in judgment." At that one, Anna narrowed her eyes by the tiniest noticeable margin that she could manage, but the groveling bastard at her hooves somehow failed to notice this.

"And you so callously assumed that Shining Armor thought just like you did, and that Princess Celestia would just sit idly by and let your schemes continue unfolding, with both Princesses Luna and Cadence at her side. Mistake number four. And finally, wanting to start an interplanetary war with the full intent to eradicate all life here—its peoples, its cultures, its architecture—just so you can feel better about being a racist wannabe tin-pot tyrant complete with a puppet ruler to pass insane laws through, all because we just so happened to barge in to your Parliamentary meeting without understanding your decorum. That will be your last, and greatest mistake. I hope you can find the gumption to atone, but knowing your ilk… you probably won't until it is too late, and frankly, I do not care either way." She shook her head, and glanced around at the gathered soldiers, silently asking them: 'who wants to take him away?'

Every soldier in the mess hall raised their hooves and claws, metaphorically trampling over one another for the opportunity that had been presented to them. Blue Crow and Red Barrel surged forward from the throng, wicked grins on their beaks and talons gleaming as they raced to grab the bastard's withers in an ironclad, two-pronged grip. The boorish, hornless bastard had fear enter his eyes for the first time, and shouted as he struggled, "G-get away from me, filthy beasts! I'll have nothing to do with meat-eating flea-bitten mongrels! Somepony save me from these mindless brutes!" He spotted his son and shouted, "Prince Vladimir Polaris Blueblood! Save me, a-and I'll make you the heir to my vast fortune! I-I'll have you marry the best pureblood mare the nobles can offer! I-I can give you anything!"

Prince Blueblood shook his head, eating up the schadenfreude with delectable glee. "No can do; you got yourself into this mess, and you got caught. I was waiting for you to slip up, and now I get to watch the consequences of your vile actions. Besides, I hardly want anything to do with your blood money," he said disapprovingly, still wearing his crap-eating smirk as he watched his father's fate loom behind him. "Auntie Celestia treated me better than you ever did."

"Oh? What's the matter, tough guy?" Blue Crow taunted, his eyes gleaming maliciously as his face darkened, as if he were about ready to rip Aegis Blueblood apart with his bare claws. As he tightened his grip firmly enough to draw blood, Rose Windmill and Golden Chalice moved to flank him and Red Barrel. The hornless bastard turned to look at him with wide and terrified eyes, and Blue Crow's damning smirk only widened. "You don't look like the type to handle a mare who isn't of the legal age of consent in these parts; what makes you think we'll ease up on you because of what you had indirectly done?"

"Such crime-enablers like you only deserve to be tossed from the highest gangplank in the skies," Red Barrel intoned, her serval's tail flagging as her expression turned equally as evil as that of Blue Crow's. The Crusaders shuddered; the First Unified Army was scary when they wanted to be, and this was the first time they had well and truly seen their vicious side. Not even Stern Lecture warranted this level of cold, calculating calamity upon her withers, and that was a testament to how low her crimes ranked on the ladder in comparison to that of Aegis Blueblood's. "You don't deserve dignity, death, or even a trial by combat—you had proven yourself unworthy of those things the instant you called forth that horn-severing blade."

Golden Chalice seized a hind leg before it could lash out, keeping a firm grip with her yellow warbler talons, and she hissed with her white tiger's tail swishing, "Look at you, a haughty wretch who deserves only to have his legacy reduced to nothing. It seems as if you've finally met your match; perhaps the direct and indirect victims of your schemes can rest now, knowing you'll never darken another crook's hooves with your blood money ever again."

Rose Windmill grabbed the other hind leg, her caracal's tail also flagging as she spoke while her red crossbill talons tightened their hold. "It's just like we heard and saw—you're nothing but a coward, hiding behind your wealth and fancy blades. You can't even fight worth a damn, if a mare leagues younger than you can give you a final, well-deserved 'howdy do' to your horn without even trying." Blue Crow and Red Barrel moved to seize the already-secured front hooves, and between the four of them and his hornlessness, there was no hope of escape for the sad sack. Anna released her hold on the bastard, allowing him to be carted away as he shouted racist invectives upon deaf ears.

"Wow. What a stupid pony," Scootaloo said, amazed at how quickly and efficiently Anna had knocked the bastard down a peg. "Not only stupid because he thought he could get away with his crimes, but because he thought he could outclass a Lietenant-General in combat."

"Sounds like the type to run the school that foalsitter wanted to ship me to," Sweetie agreed, frowning at the thought. "She did mention a headmaster with noble lineage."

"Well, his bits and fancy title don't mean pigs' feet out here, and that ain't saying nothing about how badly he sucks at fighting," Apple Bloom said, with much nodding from the rest of the table. "We could run laps around him even without our new magitek whatchamacallits, and he didn't look like he really heard her so much as he heard his own panic. Although… the military's soldiers are meaner than manticores during hunting season when they want to be."

"I would be meaner than a manticore too, if I found out the nobles of the country I was born in wanted to hurt anyone that way," Sweetie replied, shaking her head. She turned to Prince Blueblood, frowning. "Are there any other nobles in Equestria like that?"

Prince Blueblood nodded sadly. "Though, they're careful enough to never say it out loud, in public, with enemies literally everywhere they turn," he answered bitterly. "They'd be jailed or worse if they let slip any of their endgame plans to someone who could do something about it."

Sweetie nodded; she went back to looking over the almost-completed report, a little too eager to forget what she had just witnessed as soon as possible. Her friends mimicked the motion, trading notes amongst themselves before long. Even then, she realized, when she had foals of her own: she might regale them with the tale of how Blueblood's genetic donor got the dressing down of his life.

Pinkie jolted, shifting through many facial expressions in the span of a few seconds, all of them varying shades of disgusted. Her tail straightened up, her hooves launched her into the air, her mane shivered as if it were cold, and her eyes bugged out while her tongue stuck out. The hat launched off of her head and span around in the air with a flourish, then plonked back down between her ears crookedly. Afterwards, she landed on her hooves and sighed. "Well… we found our doozy…" she grumbled, ears pinning back. "At least it's been sorted out…" She turned to Blueblood. "Lemme guess: he hurt you too, didn't he?" Blueblood silently nodded, which the Crusaders ignored as they began scribbling notes again.

Katie glanced up from her seat, noticing the somewhat unfocused looks of her charges. She turned to her superiors, then Blueblood. "I think you scared the kids again," she said bluntly. "You'd better fix it before Applejack wallops you." At that, Anna and Natalie flinched with their ears pinning back to their heads, and they trotted over to the table to sort that out. Blueblood nodded, and went to help as well, seeing as he was already at the scene of the crime.

It would take a bit more convincing than they expected to calm the children down afterwards.