• Member Since 21st Apr, 2020
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Dragon-In-Black


The UFO chaser but a Dragon.

Comments ( 62 )

The sad part about all of this? They only said that because she was a Princess. Twilight had not earned her wings then, it would take a few months before that happened. They did not even know Cadance as well as Twilight did. Spike did know her so she thought that he would have some common sense with her.

How would she know that?

Shining Armor was angry with Twilight and explained what the situation was. He was practising for the wedding, patrolling Canterlot and the castle because of the threat that had been sent by an outside source and several other things regarding the wedding and the royal guards. The spell was used to take ”away” the headaches.

Wait, is there even a spell for that?

They fought and fought but it seems to be futile. Princess Celestia had been knocked out by the Changeling Queen. Twilight had been fueled by anger at that. How could the sun princess be so incompetent? She had the magic of the sun and she did not use it on the Changeling Queen? Perhaps the Princess was getting lazy from all the cake-eating.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t celestia stronger than twilight?

For the next few months, Twilight was miserable. Yes, she was at fault for giving an accusation with no apparent proof, but should they still not have believed her? She would expect Celestia to, considering she is the aunt of Cadance. She must have been too focused on her cakes to notice anything.

She held a grudge for that long without talking about it?

”Are you okay? I know this is not appropriate but I am concerned for your well-being.” The unicorn said. Twilight only looked at her as if she was a stranger. She was as well, Twilight had never seen her before so why did she felt like she needed to answer the mare? Why did she feel like doing anything with this mare? Twilight shrugged at the mare.

Is this a trick?

Sunset Shimmer continued to listen but felt angry at this Shining Armor. Kicking out your younger sister from a wedding?

Why?

”What if I told you that you can be a princess still under my rule?” Sunset said, her voice holding a sense of authority and excitement. He could have Twilight be a princess and Sunset herself would be the Queen of Equestria.

Is there a difference?

”Tell me about whatever it is you are planning.” Twilight said, her voice holding eagerness of knowing what the plan entails, the destruction that it could bring giving the right time and place. Eager to sell her friends out, eager to force them to watch the destruction of Equestria, the nation they so dearly loved. The nation Twilight once loved and was proud to belong to...

But Fate has other decisions.

What does that mean?

The one Queen Sunset Shimmer just told her sounded so much better. It sounded like a place where no creature would have to worry about being betrayed or worried over the fact that false wordy will fill a creature. But Twilight did know that Sunset had not told her everything. And for that, Twilight will always respect her. If you tell some creature what you are going to do. They will mock you and tell you that it is impossible, that you cannot do it. What Twilight and Sunset Shimmer are planning is big and it is frightening to think about.

Wait, what is sunset planning to do to twilight?

Twilight knee where this was going. She had seen how Blueblood was and she would rather not see an idiot like that again. But she understood Sunset in this. If she had been used like that, she would also use arrogance to make ponies stay away from her.

Is that what she thinks?

great story can't wait for more. also totally agree with the fact that tia eats to much cake

10928409
No, only this. It is Chazkopa’s story.

10928658
Sorry, it was not my best work.

He could have Twilight be a princess and Sunset herself would be the Queen of Equestria.

She, not he.

Twilight knee where this was going

knew

He then good me that I was no longer is the best mare and that I shouldn’t come to the wedding at all.

You mean told, and remove is.

Sweet chapter. After that done, I won't asked you for a request story.

Twilight saw rainbow swirls and it was making her feel the start of a headache. She hoped that Sunset Shimmer knew what she was doing. She did not want to end up in a different dimension and get arrested for something stupid.

Is this foreshadowing something?

Here he believed that Sunset Shimmer was a horrible person but here this girl comes, telling him her life story about how she was betrayed. Twilight’s friends were way worse.

That’s actually debatable.

”Hello, Snips, this is Twilight Sparkle.” The lavender skinned girl looked over to Snips and felt a little surprise in seeing somepony she recognized from back home. Had he travelled over here? But that was not possible! Unless ...

Did he?

How did she complete the spell? She is in no mindset for the key part. Friendship. She really shouldn't be an alicorn by that means.

And Cadance. I work have said no wedding till they make up

10937292
I learned the hard way to not do what you just did.

I wonder if Twilight realizes that it looks like Spike does believe her but is unable to do anything due to peer pressure pretty much or something?

10937643
I don’t think so.

Since the next chapter will be the last one, I speculate Sunset & her crew plan to visit Equestria to confront Sparkle's friends & family for their misconduct yes? Why does Flash believe it's a prank?

10938178
When does he say he thinks it’s a prank? I may have missed that.

Awesome.

“Celestia, so long and no see. I have missed your pointless lessons

You mean 'long time and no see'

Celestai

It's Celestia

Spike’s purple scales were turning darker to the point where they were black and his spikes turned orange

You forgot to added his wings.

She had not expected this but t was beautiful of her Queen to do so

You missing with it.

What happened with the other races and kingdoms?!

And why are you doing this "Demon" gimmick again?


One of these days. They all gonna regret turning themselves into demons. When a certain Someone or a Faction wants to slaughtered them all, because they are demonic monsters, and abominations.

10977100
Did you not read the lengthy explanation? I am pretty sure it says: Request idea: Chazkopa.

What was the point in rewriting the story if there were more questions in this one then the last one?

10977109
Because Chazkopa had requested from BBBHuey on DeviantArt to make this into a comic book which he did and it was almost entirely different from the one that I wrote.

10977100
Did you just notice it was rewritten? Because I didn’t see you in the comments for a while.

10977108

Yeah so?

10977114

I was commenting other stories, or doing something at home. But, I thought this is another version of that "Demon Empire" with Sunset and Twilight.


Plus, it DIDN'T say this is a rewrite, okay.

10977113
Do you mind explaining how?

10977139

Thanks.


10977133

Okay. I should have explained it better. But, now I know that it was Chazkopa's request for this story to be made. Got it.

Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Sep 14th, 2021

10977153

I just don't like demons. For obvious reasons. ( Except for the ones in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss. Other then that. Rip and Tear, and For the Emperor, purge them in holy fire!!!!! )

10977143
How it was almost entirely different.

Comment posted by Pete100 deleted Sep 14th, 2021

10977161
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think anyone does.

10977133

“Please! Princess Cadenza, my friends and I did wrong, but we did not know!” Fluttershy cried, but the Cadance she knew was gone; the pony was not there anymore. The other four ponies called for Fluttershy as they knew they would be punished severely.

Midnight Sparkle laughed at her foolish attempts to persuade Cadenza. But she still wanted to be as fair as possible: Fluttershy would simply be doing time in the dungeons for a very long time while the other four she was unsure of. Twilight thought about her friends, and then she realized something, and she felt shocked.

You did not add the part that 'But her plea is ignored as she is taken away to join the others as they are to be converted as well. But not before Sunset told the mane five that she had ordered her army to bring their families so that she could turn them into demons. Horrified with a shriek, Rarity pleads with Spike not to capture them. But Spike refused to listen to her, and he told Rarity that he had given up his old crush on her for his new crush on EQG Sweetie Belle, who's now a demon, and he also said he regrets not believing Twilight about the fake Cadance.'

Here's the music that describes Spike, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadance joining Sunset to be with Twilight.

10977233
It became too wordy, I tried different things to get it to work but I am sorry to say it didn't. It would not have made a lick of difference. The results would have been in theory: the same.

10977243
You are right. Thank you for my request story. I like that Twilight had talked to Sweetie Belle about Spike.

By the way, what did you think of the music that describes that Spike, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadance joined Sunset to be with Twilight?. It's called Samurai Warriors 5 - Nagashino (Oda) OST ~SW5 Mix~ EXTENDED.

10977248
I believe that the song is absolutely awesome!

10977251
I'm glad you like it.

Speaking of which, since you won't do the sequel of Consequences of Betrayal and Retribution. Is it all right that can I asked someone to do the sequel if you don't mind?.

10977257
I have absolutely no problems with this. Good luck my friend!

10977269
I might asked Timeman202 or someone else to do sequel request story of Consequences of Betrayal and Retribution.

10977291
That would be interesting. There are a lot of things you could do with a story like this.

While it was mentioned on what they plan to do with Luna, we end up not seeing what exactly happened to her afterwards, which is odd.

10978345
Honestly, a lot of things in this story is odd.

10977269

Snips and Snails turned into demons with armour all over them. The armour covered their chest and stomach. In the middle, it held Sunset’s cutie mark which showed their loyalty. They looked at each other and then looked behind, the dates that they brought, Applebloom and Scootaloo had dresses that now resembled a noble family, the dresses were made from gold and they did not look remotely fake.

It's armor, not armour.

10979083
That can actually depend on what dialect you have, in the Celtic and English isles we say and write Armour. But I have heard that Americans (and others) spell it like Armor. So I won’t be changing this one. Sorry.

10979144
That's all right. I like that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were accepted as Snips and Snails' girlfriends.

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