A priceless painting has been stolen from the royal palace, and it'll take Canterlot's finest to retrieve it and bring the thief to justice.
Unfortunately, Prince Blueblood's on the case.
Cover art from the gallery of 90Sigma. Proofread by Infernus Noctis and MrNumbers.
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I very much like this version of Fleur. I like the whole thing, but she stands out like an unexpected nail in a floorboard. Except in a good way.
10434350
Fleur's got heaps of potential as a background pony. Making her Celestia's own hired bastard as well as an early foil for Blueblood seemed deid fitting for this piece. Glad you approve of her, and hope the rest satisfies!
10434356
It does! I can't help but read Blueblood with Hugh Laurie's voice, so you've caught the cadence of his various toffs right there.
10434365
Excellent to ken Hugh Laurie's toffs manifested themselves! 'Bertie Wooster, but more of an arsehole' and 'Prince George without Blackadder's coaching' were pretty much the vibes I was going for with Blueblood.
Oh. And this is the piece about to get stolen? Well, if we're lucky, this won't end in half of Canterlot up in flames.
Got to love how Blueblood happily volunteers the security flaws with barely any prodding.
I mean, he's not wrong.
Fleur as Equestria's spymistress. I quite like the idea.
This is an exquisite simile.
Generally because they failed to recognize them as such. Especially the peril.
Especially the peril.
According to Churchill, that's one of the most dangerous ways to fight an unarmed opponent. Even if he isn't Red Mage Statscowski.
Given the current time frame, she's not wrong either. They just don't end the way anyone expected.
Different borough than the giant mutant turtles, though. Terribly territorial creatures, which makes them all the more invaluable when giant Things with far too many tentacles make themselves known.
In any case, this looks like it's going to be truly delightful. Eagerly looking forward to more.
I can't help but wonder if the painting wasn't painted by Luna. The stylized L is one hint Celestia's reaction after its stolen is another
More security flaws are fixed after something happens than are ever fixed before
10434416
Few ponies have ever accused the line of Platinum of an excess of perspicacity in the face of risk. Once the first few wasted their evenings trying to explain a word with that many syllables, the rest knew not to bother.
Links to 8-Bit Theater will always go appreciated.
Thank you! I hope the rest this week satisfies.
10434422
Good deduction. Luna's the artist, and that's precisely the reason behind Celestia's reaction.
I am so down for everything in this story... a heist/detective story, set prior to the show with the Canterlot cast... this is my jam.
So looking forward to more!
10434510
Glad you approve, and more's a'coming! Though considering our protagonist, I feel honour-bound to curb any expectations that anything like competent heisting and detecting will be going down. At his end at least.
Blueblood trying to be a detective... now this I must see!
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'Trying' may well be an exceedingly wise choice of verbs there, I shan't lie.
10434538 I'm getting 'Jacques Clouseau' vibes, only much more arrogant.
Wonderful. I quite like this version of Fleur.
10434615
Glad you approve of her!
10434620
Much obliged!
See, this is what I like in my prose. Little turns of phrase that add to the character and show where their priorities are, making what would've been the boring parts interesting. (I'm fond of characters saying "less bad" rather than "better" if the situation warrants it.)
10434643
Glad you approve! These wee turns of phrase and comments are wonderful fun to include, and they lend themselves excellently to a first-person narrative like this - an actual character chatting about all this and adding that vital spice, directly to the reader, could be expected to insert these sorts of details where a third-person narrative would flounder.
stares Freaking Blueblood, you twit.
...OK how dare you make him a goober like myself.
stares increasing
:(
Nope, I take it back. Fleur is my favorite now.
Oh God, he's truly a special sort.
This is awesome! Dry wit is great as well. I'm looking forward to more!
"night tapped me on my withers and meaningfully coughed"
That was my favorite line.
This is a good beginning to a fantasy-style heist story. I liked the way you wrote Spike.
While I would love to assume that the protagonist’s sesquipedalian loquaciousness is merely an affectation, I find myself inexorably driven to the less charitable conclusion that, at least for this realization of the character, the object of obfuscation is not the stupidity, but rather, the person.
And now he’s basically abducting Twilight Sparkle. And calling her his sidekick.
... I’m going to need a soda, a bowl of popcorn, and a very sturdy bomb shelter.
I'm getting the impression this is Teenage Twilight, judging by her speech and Spike not being an infant.
I find it funny that Blueblood has a positive opinion of her. All the nobles are usually torn between fear and jealousy of Twilight, but Blueblood just decides she's a nerd and that Cadance vouches for her, and that's good enough for him. For all his numerous and hilarious faults, Blueblood at least stands apart from the rest of the nobility.
Also love that, despite little being outright said, it's obvious why the painting is important to Celestia. You really feel for her with the line about the light in her eyes.
10434679
They say to write what you know, and I dredged my own knowledge of art critique very deep to do Blueblood justice.
Put it to him in those exact terms, and he'd agree with you and appreciate your perspicacity.
Glad you like it! There's more to come.
10434877
Slipping in these lines into Blueblood's narration was a good part of the joy of writing this. I'm riffing off of P. G. Wodehouse a lot for this, and his Jeeves and Wooster stories have similar little lines and lovely ways of describing events.
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Blueblood can certainly talk a lot, and in a suitably ornate way as well. If only he had the faintest idea what he was talking about as well, he'd be all set.
I'm sure his conscription of Twilight can only end marvellously for everyone involved.
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Yep, this is Twilight still ensconced in Canterlot, prior to her time in Ponyville. Future chapters should clarify exactly how far off Ponyville is, but it's not too far.
Definitely good enough for him at this stage. Blueblood as he's written here would be exceedingly hard to make jealous - he's got such an iron-clad self-regard and self-confidence that Twilight representing any threat to his position would never cross his mind, even if that were the case.
Glad that came through! Blueblood may lack the knowledge or general acuity to read much into those details, but he can still react to them on a surface level, and readers tend to be good at joining dots.
I usually associate "sanguine" with the color of blood specifically, and so thought Blueblood was being just right enough to be so very, very wrong by naming himself "Blue Red".
Come on, Twilight. Nicotine will hardly harm a creature who treats volcanic fumes the same way you do the smell of wildflowers.
I suppose we should be grateful that Blueblood isn't one for comic books.
Good to see Twilight didn't forget the second half of "trust, but verify."
There's enough irony in this statement for half a skyscraper.
The news cycle has mutated over the years, but the core remains the same.
Now, now, Blue, there's no call for that kind of language. He doesn't have a waterspout; he's clearly a grotesque.
Yeah, then ponies might instead mistake you for A. K. Yearling. Who would probably be similarly disappointed by the place being too light and airy for a proper hive of scum and villainy.
I'm not sure what I love more, Twilight getting to be the big sibling in a game of toy soldiers or Spike the pool hustler. Which I imagine comes easily when you own the only set of thumbs in the building.
Ah, there's the other half.
And... Well, Blueblood accomplished his goal. He's found both the Mockingbird and her hideout. But the question of "Now what?" lingers over him like the Sword of Damocles, and he's gone and dismissed his detail mare. (Of course, there's still that tracking spell...) Eagerly looking forward to seeing what happens from here.
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After spending a full week arguing with half a dozen people about how portraying every single pony with a noble title as a greedy, short-sighted, princess-hating hive mind roadblock to everything good and wholesome, is neither particular interesting nor as realistic as some may think... it's nice to see an approach not quite so one-sided.
A very hilarious story here (featuring everypony's favorite royal punchbag
)
Was sooo glad Twilight did some fact-checking regarding Blueblood's *adventure* mission, plus good use of that tracking spell. Also seeing her & Spike just chilling out at The Seahorse while Blueblood was getting grilled (or dunked as the case may be😂) was just priceless!
Till the next dropkicking err I mean adventurous tale of Blueblood!
10435519
Hah, that'd have been fun, and perfectly fitting for Blueblood - getting onto the right track, and then whirling into a perfectly avoidable crash regardless. Not intended, though, alas. I've always associated sanguine with blood itself rather than the colour, in light of 'sanguine humours' and suchlike.
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As far as Twilight's concerned, as the pony who lives in close proximity to Spike, the fewer interesting things his digestion has to work with, the better.
She'd probably go so far as to call it a disappointing tabula rasa of a place, and then have her umpteenth argument with her editor about what that exactly means.
No false modesty here, they're both pretty excellent. Though my slight preference goes to Twilight playing with soldiers and laying out historical battles. Both educational and bloodthirsty fun!
Glad to induce anticipation!
10435565
Glad to oblige on that front! It does seem a bit unrealistic to portray the nobility as a pure hostile monolith in stories in like these. Even if they're mostly approaching Twilight and the princesses in the name of pure self-interest, you'd think that most of them would do so by currying favour, subtly sucking up and getting in their good graces in the hope of favours and friendly contact, or even just realising that they lose nothing through civility to the powers-that-be.
In this case, and in normal circumstances back in the palace, Blueblood's sufficiently secure in himself and loyal to his auntie that it wouldn't even occur to him to be especially hostile to her student. Patrician aloofness, at worst; blithely forgetting she even exists in the main.
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Glad you like it so far! Twilight having a far happier time of it than Blueblood at the bar was great fun to write.
The next and last chapter featuring Blueblood's misfortunes in Manehattan should be out tomorrow!
Was it Luna? I bet it was Luna.
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Mere circumstantial evidence. I don't see how you could divine that conclusion with any surety. Regardless, honour prohibits me from confirming.
Heck yes
Hmm...
Hmmmmm...
I was about to ask if one could really be that daft...but then I realized it's Blueblood--yes, he definitely is that daft.
Well, you did prompt for one, but she for some reason never responded. Funny that, eh chap?
Oh, I like sassy Fleur. That needs to keep being a thing from here on.
Well, at least he's not heartless.
As we've already established earlier, Shining--yes, he is actually that daft.
Sounds like we'd need a whole other fic to relate the details of that particular adventure.
Well, on the upside, at least he and Dragon Lord Ember would have something they could chat over a few more years down the line. Right before she punches his snout in, because that's obviously the only way such a meeting could inevitably end.
I'll be sure to have ten bits standing at the ready once Spike is inevitably proven completely correct then.
I'm just now realizing this is NOT actually a one-shot like I first thought. So much the better.
Either the noun or the adjective is inverted, much like the frown that once defiled my countenance.
Out of curiosity, did you draw from other sources for the invective, or does that sort of verbal acumen come naturally?
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Ordinarily, a winning personality would make up for any degree of daftness, but on character creation, Blueblood opted to make both Intelligence and Charisma his dump stats. I've not got a good feeling about his Wisdom either.
For all his faults, he does love his Auntie. He'd be hard to work with as a protagonist if he didn't have that and a couple of other virtues.
Three-parter in all! Tomorrow'll bring the conclusion to Blueblood's (mis)adventures. Glad you've been enjoying it so far.
10435930
The overall style's my stab at Wodehousian, but a lot of the invective is very much drawn from the old boys' weekly stories penned by Charles Hamilton. 'Frabjous thump' is a direct lift, and whatever other blandishments Blueblood heaps on the ponies around him almost certainly have their origin there as well. They seem to fit him nicely.
I mean, she'd be doing a lot of ponies a favor if she did, and got this whole affair ended before it began.
Oh good, Twilight's already got him figured out. That'll help make things at least a little easier for her.
Well...he's not wrong...just not in the way he thinks.
Okay, but as soon as you're done laughing at him behind his back, do come back so to gather even more material so to laugh at him again later.
I wonder how long it took Spike to stop laughing at Blueblood until he could compose himself long enough to send that letter.
All said, this has been a great day for Spike, hasn't? Free entertainment wherever he goes all day!
...ew.
If you're thinking the cold water will clear his head, then I'm sorry to disappoint, it doesn't appear it gets any "clearer" than this.
I suppose that's going to be the closest to a compliment Blueblood's going to get this whole story.
Shall I count the ways?
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He's one of those fairly easy ponies to figure out as well. Just assume he'll go for the least optimal and common-sensical route, and then take whatever pains you please to try and fail to dissuade him.
I've always liked Spike when he's acting the role of a sardonic chorus. Turns out when you stick him in a story alongside Prince Blueblood, he gets umpteen chances to act on that.
Aristocratic pedigrees are dreadful things, and not to be pursued even once.
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I mean, the fact that the results of such pedigree resulted in Blueblood ought to be motive enough to avoid it. Clearly, little of anything actually good will come of it.
10435693
It's the sheer lack of effort that gets me more than anything. It's like slapping a title on a pony, other than princess, gives writers carte blanche to not have to try to make them interesting anymore. And audiences will buy any and all negative qualities, no matter no little sense they make, how contradictory they are, especially in the context of MLP where it's shown pretty much everyone outright worships Celestia. Noble ponies will do everything to get more power... except anything positive or smart. It's baffling.
Do you know how many times I've come across a pony noble trying to grab power with the justification of then being in a better position to serve his or her princess? Never. Literally never. Not even that being only partly true. Pride, being chosen, being considered worthy, that's never a motivation for pony nobles, only self-destructive backstabbing contempt for their rulers that would make a Skaven blush.
/sigh
So, I really like how Blue loves his Auntie. For all his many faults, he cares a great deal for his family.
And he's dumb, in a weird way. Actually, and this may sound crazy... he reminds me of Pinkie Pie. It's not that he can't make connections in his brain, he can, they're just nonsensical to everyone else. Now it remains to be seen if he can also have flashes of chaotic insight.
It's good to read this interpretation, in any case. I'm right now stuck on my own second Blueblood chapter, and while the story itself is not-safe-for-work, his current situation is one of of a misguided, innocent romantic ideal more than anything, brought up with the wrong person. So, I'm grateful for this inspiration.
10436475
The nobles in This Platinum Crown are probably more what you're looking for.
I was kind of surprised Twilight seems so at ease off in Manehatten with effectively no supervision. But I guess even without knowing much about friendship she's still ok at social interaction, and Celestia must have given her a reason to feel things are under control.
I wonder why Mockingbird would grab Blueblood at all. I guess she thinks she can extract more value from kidnapping him? Or maybe she's taking an opportunity to gloat or humiliate him; she does target nobles after all.
Some ponies can just be so *ungracious* when their betters try to improve them.
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I'm not sure what I love more, Twilight getting to be the big sibling in a game of toy soldiers or Spike the pool hustler. Which I imagine comes easily when you own the only set of thumbs in the building.
Depends if there are any Unicorns in the building and how fine their ability to manipulate things with their magic is. I bet Rarity could give Spike a run for his money. (Fanfic notion: Spike and Rarity as a team of wandering pool hustlers. Discuss).
10436475
It's a curious thing. For every Backstabby McSneersalot, you'd also expect there to be another noble who's of diligent assistance to the Princesses and generally lives up to a familial tradition of royal service. As well as another noble like Blueblood, who just wants to live beautifully and unburdened by the weight of the world. And those two probably wouldn't invite Backstabby to their parties if they could help it. A cad like him would just rather lower the tone, you know?
Glad to provide it! Giving him a portrayal that stayed true to his canon prattishness, explored new and exciting facets of that prattishness, and which still equipped him with sympathetic motives and impulses appealed greatly, and it's nice to ken I'm in good company on that front.
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Twilight's okay at social interaction, even at this stage in her life, and a lot better informed about and able to navigate Manehattan than certain other ponies in her company. Besides, confidence comes easily while you've somepony like Blueblood to compare your own competence against.
Today's chapter should shed light on what the Mockingbird intends with Blueblood.
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If the peasantry didn't want to help fuel the scientific and arcane enquiries of their betters, well, they should have had the sense to not be born peasants. Beginner's mistake, really.
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What discussion is there to be had about pure perfection?
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I mean, Anenome did point out he's got a cute face and a firm haunch....
*is beaten with rolled up newspapers*
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The Mockingbird's method of flirting may need work, but you can't deny it gets results.
If only because he'll refuse to pose for the cockatrice. Most inconsiderate.
"This is the Lockpicking Librarian, and today we're going to break into an art thief's secret lair using the spell that Moondancer and I made."
Ah. It was the sewer.
She can detect magic by scent? Fascinating.
This would be a refrain through Twilight's after-, during-, and occasional before-action reports.
By all rights, they shouldn't be there, but you can't argue with results, no matter how much you may want to.
Understatement of the millennium.
Definitely one of the best explanation for Blueblood's actions at the Gala I've seen. It really was for the best, but still, poor Rarity. (Though I'd expect Twilight to mention the nature of the creature under all the hype at some point... though by the same token, I'd expect her to, for example, tell Applejack that the Gala already had a caterer.)
And I do hope Fleur put a tracker on the Mockingbird that isn't easily detected or dispelled. Otherwise those two could be locked in their merry chase for years to come.
In any case, a fantastic adventure from start to finish. Thank you for it.
To be fair, as Walt Williams put it, "anything is possible when you're too naïve to realize you're screwed".
An excellent story, even if it constantly reminded me of how awful I am with character voice. It must've been a lot of work to keep Blueblood clueless enough to be charming in a point-and-laugh sort of way, but not so clueless as to be annoying.
Quite the exciting/hilarious tussle between Twilight/Spike VS Mockingbird, with a floppy Blueblood for good measure!
Also Spike was right about her base of operations, well played!
Course the topper has to be Blueblood getting his just desserts at the end there, priceless!
Thanks for such a fun & enjoyable story!
10437305
You say that as if it would be a bad thing.
10437305
The basic fact of existing in Equestria means that pony art galleries have learned to apply magical tests for 'bona-fide statue or cockatrice victim?' early and often. Discovering the fact only after the statuary's been hanging around for a while is a headache no-one needs.
More a 'emotional self-mastery' sort of heavy breathing than otherwise, but who'd put it past her?
Natural selection has its views on the line of Platinum. The line of Platinum generally responds by giving natural selection a look of patrician bemusement and then putting it in a headlock.
Glad you liked it, Fan! It was great fun to write and provide.
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The trick there, I think, was to make sure the situations Blueblood found himself always had a way of pricking at that cluelessness, whether that's in the form of a character echoing the reader's own presumed sentiments (Fleur, Spike, etc), or by dumping the consequences of said cluelessness on his head, good and hard (getting dipped into the longliner, being kidnapped for ransom, etc). That, and giving his rare decent qualities the chance to shine through, once in a blue moon. Helps keep things palatable for readers, I reckon.
Thank you for your comments throughout, and I'm glad you liked it!
10437327
Whoever the yellow speaker here is, Blueblood approves of the cut of their jib.
10437357
Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it! It wouldn't have seemed like a proper outing for Blueblood if there hadn't been a climactic tussle in which he got to occasionally distract the antagonist at great cost to his own dignity.
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Fleur's got more than one brain cell to rub together. With any luck on her part, an especially if she reviewed Twilight's field report, she'd have thought of it and slapped on a tracking spell.
That said, the Mockingbird's also got a plural of brain cells, and has Twilight's scheme fresh in mind. If she was lucky, she'd try and get anything of the sort detected and dispelled. Fleur'd have a bit of a race on her hooves to try and stop that.
Ooh...bet there'd be a strong temptation (ultimately repressed but there still nonetheless) to respond back to that letter with a simple note saying "you can keep him."
We'll start the bidding at one bit! Any takers?
...Anyone?
...no? Well, all right then...
Well, better Celestia than Fleur at least. Fleur's reaction would probably be one big happy grin...up until she realizes Celestia will probably order her to resolve the matter anyway at which point it'll turn to begrudging disappointment.
Oh sure, you say that now, but unlike you, Bluey, I'm not an idiot. I knew exactly what Twilight's scheme was almost from the start, and you're probably not going to think it that flattering here soon.
Ten bits to Spike! Seriously, Mockingbird, couldn't you have at least tried to not be so cliche?
...aaaaaaand he's still not put two with two on that, hasn't he?
Well, I'm sure the fact that he really is that idiotic probably helped to sell it.
The monologuing didn't run on for quite long enough then, huh?
Ha! Now I'm never not going to think that every time I see a picture of The Thinker or a parody of it.
And I daresay that they haven't.
Could you be any less subtle about that, Celestia?
Well, that explains Rarity...though honestly he's doing a Rarity no small favor in doing so, really.
All in all, that was a very fun little yarn to read, and I'm glad I did so. I very nearly didn't because I had first found it late in the evening when I really should be going to bed and I don't like cluttering up my Read it Later because fics have a habit of...ending up there forever...but I'm glad I did anyway, as it was definitely worth it.
Oh, this is brilliant.
Especially the third consecutive dunking, which somehow caught me just as off-guard as it must have Blueblood.
And Spike continues to steal the show from the sidelines.
But what does the Mockingbird see in old Bluey here?
10435519
Sanguine has a number of definitions. To quote Firefly's Zoe,
Sewers. Spike freaking called it!
Oh, Blueblood. Never change.
Clearly, Sparkle has been paying attention in politics as well as in class.
That's... actually entirely fair. Point to Blueblood, I suppose.
Rarity would never know what hit her.
It was good seeing the Mockingbird take an interest in the next generation's criminal potential.
A shame that redemption didn't take.
As for adventure, I bet Sparkle's mother would love to hear all about this last one.