Como Salsa para los Tacos: Chapulin II
Admiral Biscuit
At first some of the other workers at Taco Bell had been wary around Chapulin, but by the end of her first week most of them had warmed up to her. Gómez started calling her Cri-Cri, and that nickname stuck.
“It’s time to learn to make food,” Gómez told her one morning after she’d clocked in for her shift. “Not just for yourself, but for customers.”
Chapulin grinned and started wagging her tail. This was what she’d come for, and she’d proven herself on the cash registers and the drive-through and unloading the food truck and of course cleaning.
“First thing is that you always have to wear gloves on the food line.”
“Gloves? Those are for people. I use magic. I don’t need—”
Gómez stuck a latex glove over her horn, and she shivered at the unexpected touch. “There you go.”
She couldn’t see it. The brim of her hat obscured it, but she could kind of feel it was there. It was a dumb rule, right up there with needing shoes.
Which she’d already had to replace: the brass didn’t have any traction on the slippery tile floors. It wasn’t good for her hooves to get re-shod too often, so after her second day, she’d mail-ordered a set of hoof boots to fit over her shoes. Those hadn’t been cheap, $92 per boot plus shipping, but Easyboot Clouds were the only ones she could get quickly in a pony size. Plus, they claimed that they were good for hard surfaces.
Gómez took a few pictures of her with his phone, then took the glove back off her horn. “You don’t really need that.”
Chapulin stuck her tongue out at him. “Are you going to help me to make tacos?”
“Have you watched all the training videos?”
She nodded. There were a lot of them, and she’d stayed late after several shifts to see them all, sometimes more than once just to make sure she understood.
“Make me a burrito supreme.”
Watching the training videos wasn’t the same as actually doing it. She knew it was a ten-inch tortilla, cooked for five seconds per side on the tortilla warmer. And then refried beans, but there were two different scoops in the bean bin. “Is it the red scoop or the green one?”
“Red.”
“And then the red sauce.”
Gómez nodded.
Seasoned beef was easy; there was only one size scoop in that. And then a single trigger-pull of sour cream, small handfuls of lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and onions, all of that was straightforward.
Until it was time to fold it. Watching the video wasn’t the same as doing it herself; Gómez showed her and then unfolded it to let her try.
On the third attempt, he considered it a success, and she got to fold it into the wrapper which she also got wrong the first time.
The whole afternoon, she struggled on the line while Gómez helped her and encouraged her, reminding her of food cooking times and ingredients or which wrapper to use.
Things in bowls were the easiest to make, as long as she remembered what went in them. There wasn’t any folding or rolling or cutting involved. Hard-shell tacos were easy, too; she just had to be careful not to break them when she wrapped them.
It wasn’t easy to tell that she was getting quicker during her shift. The food orders never ceased, but Gómez wasn’t having to help her out as much, and by the time they were well into Fourthmeal, he wasn’t helping her at all. She didn’t need help any more.
•••
That night she was too tired to write in her journal. She got out of her Uber and staggered up to her apartment, peeled off her Easyboots and flopped down on her bed for a short rest.
She woke up in the middle of the night, uncomfortably sweaty in her uniform clothes. Chapulin undressed herself and tossed the clothes into a pile on the floor, then fell back asleep.
•••
The next morning, she was stiff and sore and her coat was clumped and matted. She staggered to the shower and as the hot water rinsed the dried sweat off her, she started to feel like a proper pony again.
Her apartment had a laundry in the basement, which was a perk she’d never thought she’d use. A week’s worth of Taco Bell clothes—minus the hat, which couldn’t be washed in a machine—went in, and she ate breakfast while watching her clothes spin round and round in the machine.
The soap she used had a lavender scent, which wasn’t powerful enough to mask the Taco Bell smell in her clothes.
She didn’t watch her clothes in the dryer; instead she wrote in her notebook. She’d already written down all the food preparation instructions as she’d learned them from the computer training modules, but now that she’d done it for herself, she could get more specific with tips and tricks that she’d learned on the job.
When she was back upstairs with a basketful of fresh fluffy clothes, she went into her office and scanned the new pages into the computer, then sent them off via e-mail.
I hadn't thought about it until now, but the finer points of wrapping fast food items, especially the shapes involved on the Taco Bell menu, aren't unlike folding napkins into origami swans at high-end restaurants. Except you're expected to crank a lot more of them on an hourly basis.
Also, I do have to appreciate phrases like "by the time they were well into Fourthmeal" that literally cannot be written outside of very specific circumstances.
Fourthmeal huh? College was a long time ago.
Is she getting sick?
10454156
From what I’ve seen on YT videos and IRL, they’re actually designed to be folded as easily and efficiently as possible, for both volume and the potentially limited skillset of the workers . . . a lot of them are printed for multiple products, and you’ve got to have them oriented in the right direction.
There are so many wonderful advertising phrases you can work into the right circumstance. As a mechanic, we use a lot of them to describe cars, to be honest.
10454349
Same here. Not even in this century, in fact.
10454387
Nope, just tired from a long day at Taco Bell. Cooking’s a whole different matter than cleaning or stocking or taking orders at the register.
It occurs to me that they could probably just BUY A FRANCHISE. Of course, this is probably cheaper + this way THEY will be in control.
Have to wonder "Just who is bankrolling this?"
I really want a picture of a glove on a pony's horn, now. That sounds absolutely adorable.
10454156
You've never been to a Chipotle and watched them struggle to fold and keep it folded after asking for extra sour cream or something? I bet they hate people who ask for extra fillings portions. Remember to tip.
Add vinegar to the washer, kills the fast food scent.
...That's weird, but I'm unable to argue with that kind of logic.
Speaking of brass horse shoes:
A disco once made the mistake of playing "Stamp on the Ground" while a group of heavy earth pony stallions were dancing...
I'm pretty sure several ponies imported washing machines simply to look at them spinning.
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
10455299
The glove on the horn was a joke.
Cri-Cri was unspeakably adorable.
Thank you for sharing more taco espionage.
10454509
Maybe, but negotiations when it comes to food exports could be difficult. Or foreign entities opening a franchise. This way, they’ve side-stepped that problem.
Well, if Starlight Glimmer is involved, odds are Twilight knows, and if Twilight knows, so does the Crown.
Ponies don’t have pockets, but the operation’s got deep pockets.
10454696
Sadly, Derpibooru let me down on that. But, YouTube didn’t, as long as you substitute “ears” for “horn.”
10454782
I’ve been to Chipolte once, It was food and I didn’t die after eating it, so win?
In all seriousness, though, remember to tip.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/11/21/2201619.png
10455283
That might work.
Although with my water, that would also dissolve all the minerals, for better or worse. . . .
10455299
“Neigh, Twilight, we must raise the sun ourselves.” Luna floated a pan-holder over to Twilight. “We found these in the kitchen. We understand that the sun is hot, so we must be cautious to avoid burns. Slide this over your horn.”
--self-referential source
The resultant celebration logged 4.8 on the Richter scale. Luckily, Earth Ponies are strong, and were able to climb free of the rubble.
It is kinda mesmerizing. . . .
Thank you!
10455470
Or was it?
(it was)
10455869
Of course she was; she’s a pony.
You’re welcome!
10455299
Or something.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/7/7/1195499/large.png
10456050
Except for beef, they can probably get everything in EQ + better quality, cheaper & fresher.
Tricksy ponies! And here I thought it was just an innocent fast-food job! They're gathering intel!
"Gómez stuck a latex glove over her horn"
:D
...Though, I don't know, is that actually in compliance? Maybe they should use two, for the plural. :D
"Gómez took a few pictures of her with his phone, then took the glove back off her horn."
Hah, oh. :D
Thanks for writing. :)
10454696
10456050
If hair nets were required, would ponies have to wear a full-body fishnet jumpsuit?
10456083
It’s a pony-sized jacuzzi!
Just get out before the spin cycle.
10456202
Yeah.
And depending on your headcanon, the beef too.
10456211
Cute, innocent, and stealing our trade secrets. That’s bad . . . but it’s hard to stay mad at them.
10456618
Here we run into the manual and intended purpose . . . would a one-handed person be required to wear a pair of gloves on their one hand, or jus a single glove?
The rules never considered unicorns, and the instragram’s worth it.
10457071
Research suggests that equines don’t shed as much as humans (except in the spring), but rules weren’t made for equines, so yeah, potentially. Company-provided, of course (by law), Chapaulin struggles into her food preparation Tyvek suit before making questionable (and fur-free) tacos for the masses.
10457889
Hah! Well, sure, if you're going to interpret things sensibly... :)
:D
:)
10457893
Mind you, then the PR people might have a slight problem with customers wondering why the person preparing their food seemed to need a hazmat suit to do it. :D
10458229
You gotta comply with the rules
Funnily enough, that very example is a plot point in an upcoming story.
10459448
:D
Oh, hah, well, I'll look forward to seeing whatever that is, then. :D
10460798
It’s in my ‘to get to it when I get to it’ pile, lol.
Here’s a snippet of the section in question:
10460951
Heh, no problem; I've a lot of other horsewords lined up to read already, and am not in urgent need of more. :D
re the snippet:
Oh, interesting. :D
...And pretty curiosity-building, but, well, as said, we both have other things to do right now. :D
Thanks, though. :)
10460997
It’s going to be an interesting story, in some ways a spiritual successor to Sam and Rose, and in most other ways not.
I’ve got a great mental picture of Moria, and I’ve just got to build the rest of the story around that. Maybe next week I’ll have some time to poke at it--it’s towards the top of fics I’m currently working on.
10462526
:)
[checks]
Ah, looks like I haven't gotten to those stories so far. Sounds like this new one would be more different than similar, at least in some areas, anyway, though. :D
Ah, sorry, who or what is Moria? Should I know at this point?
But glad you've got that picture, and good luck with the building, whenever you get to it. :)
10462821
Yeah, it’s different in a lot of ways, but some of the theming is essentially the same.
No, I guess not--I thought that snippet of text had her name in it, but it doesn’t, lol. She’s the one talking to Connor.
Thanks!
10463368
Ah.
Ah, heh, thanks. :D
:)
10454509
My headcanon is that some Equestrian billionaire really likes Taco Bell.
10487285
Better than a billionaire (when it comes to resources); it’s either a Princess or a majority of ponies and the Equestrian government actually listens to its citizens and puts effort into making them happy . . . I’ll let you choose.
10457893
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/8/12/2116442.png
10508755
Ponies, I feel, don’t use hair nets (or if they do, it’s mane only, maybe tail).
On the plus side, equines don’t shed like other kinds of animals do . . . except in the spring, anyway.
10517478
That's fair. I just remember thinking about it after reading Sky Sweeper and that offhand comment jogged my memory.
In any case I'm wondering where this is going to lead (also if there are prickly lawsuits involved).
10518178
Eventually to ponies having their own Taco Bells . . . and as for lawsuits, I don’t think that there’s be much traction on a trade secrets lawsuit (although that could depend on what Grace does, and if they have rank-and-file employees at the store sign NDAs (which I doubt); if ponies actually build duplicate stores and use the logos and whatnot, they’d have a great shot at a trademark lawsuit. Although, as with some countries here on Earth, there might be nothing that Taco Bell could actually do about trademark infringement--like, if it weren’t a crime in Equestria, what are they going to do about it?
While it might be funny to us how ponies are trying to steal the mass-production secrets of tacos while they can just buy a cookbook,it might very well be that some pony clans fought a series of long and bloody wars over a stolen pie recipe or something.
10678708
Wasn’t there an actual canon reference to a war over a recipe, or is that just something I read on FimFic? (sometimes it’s hard to remember)
Anyway, yeah, a little light espionage never hurt anyone, except maybe Taco Bell when they try to open a franchise in Equestria and discover there’s already a knockoff.
[And speaking of which, there was really a rogue Burger King once]
Okay, now I'm caught up.
Bless you Gómez. Patience in training.
11283644
He’s a good dude. And he probably is having fun watching a pony learn to make tacos--that would certainly spice up a shift.