XXI - The World
A battered, bald and prematurely aged Alicorn stepped up to the podium. Despite her withered appearance, she conducted herself with a poise that projected her authority with effortless grace.
"Visiting dignitaries, my name is Princess Flurry Heart, and it is my sincere pleasure to welcome all of you to the first chairing of the Global Congress. Our world has seen much turmoil over the past year, yet we must have hope for the future. Our young, and the young of our young, must see and know they have a world to look forward to, rather than a black hole to be dreaded.
The ceasefire between the Griffon Empire and Equestria is but the first step in this process." Flurry nodded towards the assembled Griffon delegates, a cluster of grim-looking bashaws. "The loss of your Royal Household is undoubtedly a... shock, but I am sure you will take this opportunity to lead your nation into a new light."
The bashaws merely snarled in response. Across the hall, the Hippogriff Chieftain shot them a murderous look.
"I do not see why we should attend a forum populated by these brutish oppressors. I am here merely to have the needs of my people given a voice."
"And I fail to see why we should consort with the murderers of our Emperor and these lesser beings." The leader of the bashaws, a giant with pitch-black feathers and glittering amber eyes shot back. "No doubt Equestria would have us all become like them, abandoning our ancient traditions in favour of their own. I think not."
"That's enough, thank you." Flurry Heart raised her voice before an argument could erupt. "You will not denigrate each other in this forum. My aim is to mediate a peaceful solution to this conflict and secure justice for all."
"Oh, is it?" The bashaw shot back, voice dripping with malice. "This war is not over. Not until we have secured retribution for the severing of our royal bloodline, and consolidated our new territory."
"I don't think so." Now it was Flurry Heart's turn to raise her hackles. "You and your soldiers will leave Equestria within the next month, or there will be consequences."
The bashaws roared in indignation as their leader raised a claw in triumph. "You see? As then, as ever, Equestrian! Your pacifism is little more than a self-righteous front for your own ambition!"
"We are creatures of peace, but do not mistake that for weakness." Flurry Heart shot back. "Your nation is in no position to further wage this war. We are offering you a chance to leave without further bloodshed. You would be well advised to take it."
"Too generous by far." The Chieftain butted in, a harsh quality to his voice. "These tyrants have enslaved my people for years. I will not return to them without our freedom and recompense."
"Your people may soon find their labours greater than ever should you continue to speak to me like that, you filthy - "
"Enough!" Dragon Lord Ember and Flurry Heart both bellowed in unison; both exchanging looks of surprise before Flurry Heart continued. "I must confess, I find the Griffon's treatment of your kind intolerable. But I cannot allow it to stand in the way of a peace agreement. I'm sorry."
The Chieftain scowled and threw his hooves into the air. "I should have expected nothing less."
"Before we continue, it is my intention to claim, as I am entitled to by right of blood, the throne of Equestria." Two well-groomed mares stepped up behind Flurry Heart, one of them clutching a satin pillow on which rested a golden tiara inlaid with a large diamond heart. "Ordinarily, I would have sought a formal coronation ceremony - but I thought it better to do it here, so that any who wish to challenge my divine right to rule have the chance."
Not a soul spoke up. One of the Griffon bashaws opened his beak as if to sneer, but quailed beneath Flurry Heart's burning glare.
"Very well." She raised a hoof, and one of the attendants stepped forwards, lifting the crown from the pillow and resting it gently between her horn. Her wings flew outwards as the pair stepped back and stooped into a deep bow, murmuring the same thing.
"Behold, Princess Flurry Heart."
Luster had almost forgotten the familiar marble spires and staircases of Canterlot, the beautiful way they came together to form the lines and halls of the palace she had called home for so many years. Returning now, in this moment of silence, offered an uncomfortable space for reflection.
Her past mentor seemed etched into the very halls as she passed through them, and there were few spots where she found herself able to stand and not recall a vivid memory of Princess Twilight, either discussing a finer point of her magical studies or giving a lecture on the importance of friendship.
And what had it been all for, really? To train her, rear her for the throne like a crown princess. The same way Princess Celestia had done for her. Luster had never given the prospect serious consideration before it had been too late, yet even now, as she stood in the shadow of her departed teacher, she couldn't imagine anything less appealing. Of course, had things turned out differently, it would almost certainly have come to pass; who could turn down such an offer?
What would have become of her? As she studied the shattered remains of the stained-glass window of Princess Twilight and her friends wielding the Elements of Harmony, various possibilities fluttered through her mind, but none of them attracted her. In each, she was no longer her own mare, but an institution; something everypony depended upon, and could never be anything but.
Absent-mindedly, as she found herself trailing through the empty palace halls, she wondered what kind of Princess Flurry Heart would be. She had been raised to rule by her parents since birth, of course. She would make an excellent Princess, at least for now. But after siding with the Griffons during the war... even Luster had her doubts. A troubling but reliable feeling told her that these troubling times were far from over.
Eventually, inevitably, she found herself back in her old bedroom. To her surprise, it had been left abandoned since she had fled, though every drawer and contained had been busted open, their contents strewn out across the floor by somepony clearly desperate to track her down. As she sifted through the waste, her breath caught in her throat as she noticed an unmistakable sheet of paper she had once thought lost.
Raising it to eye level, her heart clenched as she read the words she'd long since forgotten.
Dear Diary
I did it!
My mommy just finished talking to Chance seller Chancellor Quill, and he says Princess Twilight is going to accept me into her school for Gifted Unicorns!
I'm soooo happy I could just burst oh my goodness aaaaaaaaa but daddy says I shouldn't be too excited because it's a lot of hard work and I'll have to put a lot of effort in but I don't care! I'll do whatever I have to because it means I get to become a super powerful unicorn and learn lots of magic spells, just like Princess Twilight and Gusty the Great and Starswirl the Bearded!
I can't wait to tell all the other foals at school! My mommy asked me if I'll miss my friends, and I said yes, but I want to go to Princess Twilight's school more than anything. I'm sure I'll make lots of new friends there, and maybe even one day I can become a big important pony like Princess Twilight!
I'll write more soon, but I have to pack. I'm so excited!
Yours Truly,
Luster Dawn, 7 years old.
At the bottom of the page was a crude drawing of her as a young filly, jumping in delight before a even cruder picture of Princess Twilight, the kind a filly who had seen her only a few times on TV or a newspaper might have drawn.
And yet, less than two years from that day, she had been pulled from her classes and entered into a program under the personal eye of the Princess. There had been others, but from even that elite crop she had quickly outshined the competition and been made the royal protégé. She had been so happy that day, she had fainted - but by then, she had been well past diary-writing age.
Back then, it had all been so simple. Even without a clear vision for what laid beyond her studies, the personal protégé of the Princess was virtually guaranteed a position of power and prestige in Canterlot for the rest of her days. Now, what laid ahead was uncertain. A small part of her wished nothing more than to return to anonymity of her days in the Griffon Empire - but with no Royal Household to synthesize drugs for, she doubted her services would be as welcome.
Perhaps a librarian, maybe a researcher. Something quiet and low-profile like that. Notoriety would hound her, of course, but as long as she kept her head down and didn't engage with the media, the public would forget quickly. She hoped. If they didn't... who knows? Maybe a life in the woods. Living in a log cabin, tending her own farm... well, there were worse fates.
She hadn't attempted to contact her parents, or anypony else she knew. She had mulled over visiting Starlight Glimmer, but the prospect of attempting to explain her actions to her former teacher filled her with a deep sense of shame. There was also the risk of discovering that somepony she knew hadn't survived the events of the past year. If she discovered that she was responsible for one more innocent death, she feared the guilt might just rip her apart.
Letting the letter slip from her magical aura and float to the floor, she silently left her old room and closed the door silently behind her. There was nothing in there she wanted.
Every eye in the hall was filled with fear as they fixed upon the tall, domineering figure that took the stand, her glittering blood-red eyes defying any and all challengers to her authority. Even Flurry Heart felt the need to stoop slightly in deference to this being that radiated total power.
"I am Cozy Glow. I am the mare who killed Gallus, Morning Star, and the warmongering Royal Family of the Griffon Empire." The hall was silent as she continued, not even the boldest of the Griffons daring to respond. "You are, I take it, accustomed to seeing Alicorns as the ruling elite of this land. Rest assured, I have no such designs on power."
Behind her, Flurry Heart let out a tiny sigh of relief. Cozy continued as if she hadn't heard.
"Despite this, I do not intend to withdraw from this world and allow the strong to once again brutalize the weak. Those who defy this new order will face the same fate as those before them who believed the world to be their playground. There will be no more wars of conquest. There will be no more murder of innocent civilians. There will be no more slavery. These are not requests. They are demands. They are not demands on behalf of Equestria. They are demands on my behalf."
"What is this?" One of the Griffons spoke up at last, not quite meeting her gaze. "You slaughtered our national household to the last soul, and now you intend to order us around? You are so bold as to believe you can test the might of the Griffon Empire?"
"I have tested your might, and found you lacking!" Cozy barked the response, her voice seeming to shake the walls around them. "I cut the throat of the Equestrian and Griffonian war machines in their sleep, and will do so as many times as it takes!"
"Then tell us, Cozy Glow. What demands do you intend to make of us?"
"You will release the Hippogriffs from bondage and withdraw your troops from Equestria. By the rising of the next new moon, any occupier who remains on your order or who holds the slave-leash of a Hippogriff will not see the birth of the next sun. Go, tell your troops they are to lay their lives upon your nation's altar. See how they respond."
The bashaw glanced sideways at his comrades, his uneasy expression matching theirs. Across the room, the Hippogriff Chieftain smirked and mouthed an obscenity towards them, causing him to flush red. "This is an outrage! You are favouring your own nation over ours, and siding with your kind against us!"
"I'm sure it seems that way to you. But rest assured, the same fate will befall every Equestrian soldier who does not leave your land by the same time." Flurry Heart raised her head in surprise at that, but dared not speak. "I also understand Equestria intends to annex the Crystal Empire. This, too, cannot be."
"What?" Flurry Heart rose to her hooves, a mix of confusion and anger on her face. "Who - what do you mean?"
"The Crystal Ponies have the right to exist as a separate nation, free of Equestrian influence." Cozy responded curtly. "They do not desire this annexation. You will leave them to reorganize themselves, free from foreign influence."
"But... but I am the Princess of the Crystal Empire!" Flurry Heart retorted, cheeks glowing red. "They wish to be ruled by their Princess! You can't do this!"
"Then return to the north, and rule your kingdom, Princess!" Cozy Glow shot back, an edge to her voice. "But know this, I will not tolerate either Equestria or the Crystal Empire being ruled by the same ruler. You will choose, one or the other."
Flurry Heart looked as if she had been forced to swallow a bag of rusty nails, but there was no doubt as to which kingdom she would rather rule.
"And you will not move on this?"
"For too long, the Crystal Ponies have been ruled by Equestrian royalty. It has caused much of the division that led up to this conflict. Forgive me, Princess, but it sounds like your ascension to the throne of Equestria was because you believed this land would not tolerate being ruled by the Princess of the Crystal Empire."
"The throne is my birthright - "
"As is the throne of the Crystal Empire. So choose, Princess. Choose one, and one only."
The smirks of the Griffons were now unbearable as Flurry Heart hung her head. "I... I will need to speak to my advisors before I decide."
"I don't doubt it." Cozy Glow returned her gaze to the hall at large and took a deep breath. "Know my name, everycreature, and know that the tyrants and slavemasters amongst you will lie easy in their beds no longer." She glanced down at she thick stack of paper before her. "That is all."
As she stepped down from the podium, Flurry Heart retook the stand, a thunderous look on her face.
Luster was exploring the Canterlot tower when she heard the fluttering of wings in the background. She had been expecting it, yet even still it sent a chill down her spine.
"Took your time, Discord."
Discord didn't smile, merely stared down at her with an unforgiving expression that defied description.
"You betrayed my trust. I should have known your feelings would get the better of you." His voice trembled with barely suppressed rage. "I did not imagine for one moment, when Princess Twilight approached me with her idea, that this could ever come to pass. I would have killed the foal if I had. You have empowered a monster who once sought to destroy this land with the powers of a thousand Princesses. You have killed us."
Luster tilted her head to one side, as if considering the words. "If you say so."
"And yet, you joke about it." Discord sounded incredulous. "I can't believe Princess Twilight ever saw anything in you."
"Anything important to say, or did you just want to insult me?"
"Not to say." Discord landed in front of her, paw and claw clenched. "Your actions are unforgiveable. There is only one recourse."
Luster nodded. She knew she had no chance against Discord, but she wasn't going down without a fight.
"Fine. You want to settle this so badly?"
Luster dug her hooves into the ground and lowered her centre of mass slightly, horn burning bright.
"Let's dance."
The first strike came from Discord and almost finished her in one, a gust of purple flame that flew from his palm and scorched her mane before she could redirect it back at its caster. Discord swung his arms to the side, dispelling the flames before crouching slightly and leaping forwards.
Luster had anticipated the move and leaped to the side, firing a series of spells into Discord's side, causing him to yelp and collapse, more out of surprise than pain. In an instant, she felt a familiar sensation grip her, one she had experienced over a year ago when Discord had forced every muscle in her body to seize up - but this time she was prepared, and threw off the curse before it could bite into her.
"No new tricks, Discord?"
The draconequus laughed in response. "My, my, my. Princess Twilight's star pupil doesn't disappoint. Fool you twice, shame on you, I suppose."
Without warning, a chunk of rock was torn from the floor and sent hurtling towards her. Luster blew it to pieces before it could strike her, then focused her magic on the remaining shards and sent them flying back towards Discord, who melted them into fragments of magma before they could reach him.
Seizing the advantage, Luster followed up with a series of magical blasts, each one powerful enough to kill a grown Yak. Two of them struck Discord in the chest, and as he doubled over, another struck him in the head. As he collapsed in a roar of agony, with a wave of his hand he produced a great breeze that would have blown Luster off the tower and sent her plummeting to her death far below, had she not quickly welded her hooves to the ground.
For the next few moments, the pair of them remained locked in place, each trying not to succumb to the wounds inflicted by each other. As the temporal hurricane slowly faded, Luster was the first to recover by a hair's breadth, and quickly capitalized on her opportunity by tearing two chunks of stone from the walls and tossing them at Discord, who shattered them to pieces just in time.
"You really think you can beat me?! The Lord of Chaos, who has lived in this land since before your ancestors were but a glimmer in the stars? You - I don't think so!"
Discord shot out a palm as Luster's horn began to glow and sent her spinning to the floor, slamming painfully into the stone railing. Before she could scramble to her hooves, he was on her once again, his claw wrapped tightly around her throat.
"You have no idea the imbalance your actions have bought upon this land. For that, you must pay."
Luster couldn't have fought him off if she'd had the strength of ten stallions. As her vision slowly faded, she forced herself to look upwards, taking in the beauty of the night sky one last time...
Then let out a gasp of terror as the force from her throat was torn away, sucking in a lungful of air that threatened to split her windpipe in two. Gasping and wheezing, she clambered to her hooves to see Discord pinned beneath her saviour, a lilac Alicorn with curly turquoise hair and hellfire in her eyes.
"Luster!" Cozy allowed herself a moment's glance over her shoulder before she returned her attention to Discord. "Are you okay?"
Luster coughed several times before replying, throat still tight and painfully constricted. "Yes... Yes, I'm fine." Her vision swam and spots flared and burst before her eyes as she swayed on the spot. Cozy snarled and turned back to Discord.
"What were you doing to her?!"
Discord growled in response. "I was paying her back for her treachery. Now I see I should have started with you."
"Seeking easier prey?" Disgust dripped from every word that left Cozy's mouth. "I should have expected nothing less from the likes of you."
"Well, well, well. Look who's talking." Discord glanced up at Luster. "You see? As soon as she has this kind of power, she makes haste to remove any challenge to her authority!"
"Please." Luster slowly paced over to Cozy, careful not to trip as her vision continued to wobble. Laying a hoof on Cozy's shoulder, she gave her a light tug. "He's beaten. Let's go."
Cozy didn't move. Luster frowned, then gave her another tug. "Cozy?"
"None..." Cozy whispered the word, then her face hardened. "You're right. Without you... there is no power that can challenge me."
Cozy closed her eyes and opened them to reveal two balls of glowing white light. Her horn began to glitter as thin tendrils of rainbow light began to grow from the tip and wrap themselves around it, burning with a multicolour intensity that seemed to awaken genuine fear in the defeated draconequus.
"No... no, wait! Not again!"
A victorious smile split Cozy's face in two.
"Goodbye, Discord."
With his last motion, Discord leapt to his feet and threw himself snarling at the Alicorn, but he was too late. Luster was forced to avert her gaze at the brightness of the rainbow lightshow that seemed to consume the entire tower before fading away. When it had gone, all that was left was a pearl-white marble statue of the Icon of Chaos, frozen forever in a snarl of pure hatred and fear.
Cozy sighed and lowered her horn. Glancing back at Luster, a look of concern filled her features. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"
"No... I mean, I'm a little shaken. But I'll be fine." Luster was unable to meet her gaze, instead staring transfixed at the frozen statue in front of her, filled with a strangely hollow sense of melancholy. "I... I lied to him. I said I'd return the magic, but instead, it ended up dooming him."
"Equestria will be better off without unpredictable tricksters like this. His meddling was what broke us apart - what caused all of this." There was a note of grim satisfaction in Cozy's voice that Luster just didn't like. "Celestia knew this better than Princess Twilight. Doubtless, he wished that magic to be returned so he would have free reign to rampage across Equestria as he pleased. But in the end, his arrogance was his undoing."
"Or maybe he thought that magic shouldn't be in the hooves of a single pony."
If Cozy recognized the jab, she did not acknowledge it. "It doesn't matter what his reasons were. I am the custodian of the bell's magic now, and I will use it for the betterment of Equestria - whatever it may take."
Luster nodded, unsurprised. "And I suppose Equestria won't have much of a say in the matter?"
"I am no tyrant. I won't interfere with the right of those to do as they please - as long as they do not seek to undermine the harmony we all share." Cozy ruffled her wings, staring down at Luster accusingly. "Look around you. You live in a world at peace. Your future, and the future of your descendants and their descendants to come is secure. All from the order on the earth below you to the celestial motions above is assured. Without a Princess, Equestria would fall to ruin once more. I will not let that happen. No matter what."
Luster took a single step back, feeling the stinging of tears begin to form in her eyes. She took one last look, searching for that scared filly she had once known amidst the stony features of the Alicorn before her, but there was nothing to be found. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, anything, but words failed her for the final time.
Cozy Glow was gone.
The mountaintop calls out for you,
Those who have courage to seek,
Should peril nor darkness disturb you,
You may find destiny atop its peak.
And for those who turn their backs to destiny,
Scorn flighty dreams of power and fame,
Know that the world will one day pass beneath you,
Yet the mountain will remember your name.
Cozy didn't remember where she had first heard the poem, but it had always been a favourite of her grandfather's, the last pony before Luster to have ever shown her unqualified compassion and kindness. Reciting the words now, at the top of a perilous mountain, was, in some small part, her way of paying homage to his legacy. A bitter tear formed in her eye, rolling down her cheek before freezing against her coat.
"If only you could see me now, Gramps. Top of the world."
Beneath her laid her dominion, Equestria. A land now at harmony, once and forever. Yet despite her striving, the final, inner peace was yet to be won.
"You two have been quiet, haven't you?"
No response. Cozy sighed, then probed deeper. It took her only a few minutes to locate the last, feeble traces of the proud Changeling Queen.
Chrysalis roared and spat obscenities at her as Cozy calmly tore the last dregs of her spirit free from her, allowing her to dissolve into the harsh winds that buffeted the mountain peak. It took only a little longer to find the demon.
Tirek cried for mercy, but was similarly ignored, and Cozy watched with fascination as the demon unravelled before her into nothingness, then vanished. It was less than a death; there was so little of them left, they could not be said to die in the first place.
At last, she was alone. She took a deep breath as she watched the burning sun fall over the crimson horizon, heralding the dawn of the first quiet night in living memory.
The End
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Payback time
Well done.
Well I think it’s safe to say that there isn’t going to be another war anytime soon.
A few loose ends, but still a good read.
Well... Shoot. That's a fitting ending, but still quite a downer. Nevertheless it was a great ride through and through. Great job with this one!
Well, that was quite a journey. This end was simultaneously satisfying and unsatisfying, probably by design.
I'm glad that Flurry got her UN thing together at the end. It was probably the best idea she had throughout this story. Sadly, the circumstances of her initial ruler-ship was not very fortunate, but now she has a chance to prove her worth, although I do wonder who will lead either the Crystal Empire or Equestria depending on which nation she chooses.
Cozy seems to have changed a lot under the short time she got the bell's powers. I can't help but wonder if magical influence has anything to do with it as she seems to talk differently at times as well. I also think this is likely because of the way you described her petrifying Discord with the rainbow effect. One would think that a dark magical artifact like the bell would not have that sort of effect. Either way, her end is quite tragic, simultaneously losing her childhood and herself for the task she brought upon herself. I wish that she could just give it to Luster and try to live a normal life.
Speaking of Discord, its nice to see him get some comeuppance for essentially being the main cause of everything bad to have happened in this story. Without him, Cozy may very well be living a normal happy life by now.
I have no idea what Luster will do now. In a sense, she has succeeded in the task that Twilight gave her. Cozy has no desire to take over Equestria anymore, even with all that power, but her impulsive nature rubbed off on Cozy too much leaving her lost. I am dissapointed that she never found out who "Grogar" actually was and how she never got the chance to explain exactly how Twilight died.
There are a lot of unanswered questions in general, like what happened to the Main 5 and Starlight, where were other key characters through all this and more. I'm also sad that Tirek and Chrysalis were disposed of just like that.
Overall, this was a great story. Very dark and unexpected, and I don't normally like such dark fics.
Weren't they ruled by a queen?
They grow up so fast...
I don't even know why Twilight thought to approach him, but Discord is being quite the hypocrite here, as usual.
Oh, man, Discord complaining about someone abusing her power? That's rich coming from him.
A fitting punishment for a Treacherous weasel like Discord. The Crystal Empire is no longer part of Equestria but it’s own nation and Flurry is ruling it. I say this story may be dark and gruesome but, it shows some creativity on showing that even heroes can go bad.
Oh shut up Discord, you have no right to talk about Cozy.
11063799
After all her failures to protect Equestria and The Crystal Empire from mad creatures, is she really the right person for the job?
11063797
Not me. The UN is one of the most widely criticized and doubted intuitions on the planet. Cozy Glow might or may not be a good deterrent, but she can't be everywhere. And this version's leader is Flurry Heart, who's basically spent the duration of this story proving herself both spineless and toothless.
Plus, given how corrupt the Griffons are, it's inevitable they are going to continue their abuse somewhere else.
I don't foresee much good arising from this state of affairs. Basically at best, they will wind up limiting the scoop of their wars, and even that assumes that the threat of Cozy Glow coming down on someone to be comparable to a nuke. A theory that has yet to be tested (to say the least).
Plus all of this assumes that those involved maintain not only the best of intentions, but the best judgment (including Cozy Glow herself) which is a different can of worms altogether.
11063797
You don't know how the UN works at all. The UN doesn't have a standing army, it has contributed personnel and equipment. Any member states (ie. the USA) that contributes personnel and equipment can withdraw said personnel and equipment at any given time for any given reason.
That said, this is a rather predictable story with no payoff. Cozy is released, undermines everyone again, only this time she wins, the end. The hows and whys flat out don't matter because everyone is an idiotball for Cozy to kick around. Manipulating a whole school? Sure. Manipulating multiple nations to simultaneously invade and occupy each other? Thats just like manipulating a school!
Did ANYONE seriously think Discord was going to lay a finger on Cozy? Or actually kill Luster? Really?
11073632
As Wild Stallions points out, the world is fucked. Everyone is fated to die horribly in the upcoming war(s), Cozy is a sociopath who doesn't actually care if everyone kills each other and Luster is... well. Shallow plot device or poorly written Mary Sue. Take your pick.
11075930
It is worth noting this isn't cannon, and Cozy Glow has actually been rather well behaved in this story. Plus this doesn't really come across as a scheme that she could convincingly put together. That being said, it's a pretty messed up situation in general.
Did I think he would try? Absolutely. But once Cozy Glow got magic it was inevitable that the writer was going to have her win. Anything else would have come across as cheep subversion at that point.
11076029
What does canon or Cozy being well behaved have to do with anything?
Cheap subversion? Subversion of what? Cozy just installed herself as god. There’s nothing to subvert, she is the system.
11076206
Well for one thing, she just took out Discord. She has no reason to play nice at this point, yet she continues to do so. This isn't your typical megalomaniacal behavior.
It's possible she's playing around to gain greater influence, but even so, there's not much she can accomplish by doing so, unless she's hoping to ascend to the throne of one of the pony kingdoms, which you'd think someone would mention if it actually happened in story.
11076350
Cozy taking out Discord with the bell is canon.
She did ascend the throne. She said she won’t change the alicorns can rule and there’s only 2 alicorns alive. One of which is about to be invaded by Equestria and/or angry griffins and the other being Cozy.
11076400
With the help of two other villains, and only by syphoning his magic. Never in a straight fight.
If I missed Cozy Glow saying only Alicorns should rule ponies, that would pretty ominous.
But what she actually said, was that she would not allow the same leader to be in charge of both countries.
I have my fair share of problems with this ending. In my case, it boils down to poor policy, more than Cozy Glow being fundamentally untrustworthy.
In this story at least, Cozy comes across as a more put together leader than any of the other characters.
It doesn't mean that their wagering the world's collective foreign policy on her being perfection, isn't a pretty extreme gamble, especially given her history.
11088523
I would like to know that too. Is this going anywhere or it is just being dark for the sake of being dark? From the comments i have seen on this and on the sequel, we do not even know what happened to the majority of the characters at the end.
Read this a couple weeks ago but I'm only commenting now since it took me a while to put together my thoughts on it.
I definitely enjoyed this fic. Maybe not for the reasons you tried to make it enjoyable, as some kind of high stakes, international thriller. More like as a passenger on a rollercoaster that was put together with as little concern for safety as possible. This fic was quite the wild ride, and I was sad to get off.
I introduced a friend to this fic a couple days ago, and she only got halfway through before she abandoned it and got me to tell her what happened. She was disappointed that you didnt go all in on the Cozy Glow story you pivoted away from, and I sort of was too. But when I was actually knee-deep in the fic, I didn't mind so much. I kept reading, and just accepted the new direction you were taking the story. I can't imagine many other writers coming up with these kinds of ideas and then actually following through on them, so I have to give credit where credit is due. You really made something unique here that I don't think I'm gonna see anywhere else.
All that said, I think you really could have done some things better. Perhaps Twilight's death scene could have been more climactic, perhaps the dramatic shift in tone could have been segued to earlier, perhaps characters could have been less ooc (seriously, you gotta work on that last one). There could have been a lot of things that, if tweaked just so, would have noticeably improved the reading experience of the fic. But honestly, I don't really care about any of that.
At the end of the day, you've made something that stands out, brings interesting and unique ideas, and follows through on them as far as they'll go, and I think you should be commended for that. Regardless of what anyone else says, I think you've made something worthwhile. Keep writing new stuff. You can only get better from here.
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Thanks, I appreciate the sentiment. I agree with a lot of what you said, too.
The big shift in focus of the story was supposed to be a sudden plot twist, which is why I tried to make it fairly sudden, though I also understand how it could turn off some writers who had expected a fairly straightforward redemption story instead of a war drama.
Regarding characters being OOC, I wanted to portray Twilight (who absolutely is out of character, I won't deny it) as being impacted by her decades of rule, struggling with leadership and become more prone to black-and-white thinking and morality as a result of it. She doesn't really care about Cozy, all she cares about is that Luster succeeds in her studies and proves herself a worthy heir. To that end, she could justify anything Discord proposes - who I admit is the most indefensibly out of character of the bunch, sometimes merely as a way of pushing the story forwards.
And the ending, of course, was not exactly a happy one. But that's more to my own taste, a stereotypical happy-ever-after would have felt jarringly out of place with everything that had just happened.
I hope to improve my writing in my new story, and I'll keep it much smaller-scale too, letting me focus more on the dynamics between the Dazzlings, which was easily the most neglected aspect of their appearance in the movies. Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and for recommending to your friend, and thanks for the appreciation. It's always great to hear someone enjoys what I've written.
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I can actually understand why Twilight Sparkle is like in this. The show always played on either black-and-white morality or twisted some gray moralities to make it look like it is black-and-white. So it is kinda expected.
I honestly believe Discord is totally in-character in this. The only difference is your story does not sugarcoat his actions. He was always shown to be sadistic and hypocritical in the canon.
Luster Dawn's reaction to Cozy at the very end, especially when she says that line, really seems to mirror Twilight's attitude. Cozy Glow did a great job. She learned a lot about the value of friendship, harmony, and other ponies, and she takes upon herself the horrendously difficult task of protecting peace and harmony within the world from now until eternity. She knows what price must be paid for peace, and she doesn't hesitate to pay it.
This is immense character growth from where she started, and instead of Luster being very proud of Cozy becoming the guardian of harmony, she shuns her. This is unbelievably hypocritical, and kind of comes out the left field. Seriously, Luster was willing to do anything for Cozy just a chapter ago, and now that Cozy has reached her full potential she just dumps her? She's too blind to go past the logic of "killing bad, Cozy killed some dudes, thus Cozy bad"? Did she completely miss the context where the people Cozy killed murdered hundreds of thousands of innocents? Wtf.