• Member Since 8th Feb, 2020
  • offline last seen Sep 21st, 2023

Vartil-Shadowalker


I write to let my active imagination out, but I'm learning as I go.

Comments ( 94 )

The fanfic is ok the only disappointing part is the lack of reaction luna give i mean come on have u seen krampus he is nightmare fuel but im happy someone doing a horror displace fanfic u don't get a lot of horror displace fanfic

There is already a storie with this title.

10419606
Well I figured Luna's seen worse in nightmares, and no one actually knows how long she's been fighting nightmares and if she can defeat them in the dream realm then she'd have no problem defeating one in the real world

10419608
Then the name shall be changed my good sir

10419620
Ok i see your point thx for the explanation 😋

10419608
The name has been changed, hopefully it is a better title

I didn't mind the name i was just informing but since you took your time to change it, thank you my good sir.

This shows promise. I like it

10419727
Hopefully I don't disappoint I plan to be four chapters in before I make it available for crossovers, if anyone wants to crossover with it

This seems pretty good

looks like a good read.

Now this is interesting because I was thinking of doing something similar, but with one of the old gods from H.P Lovecraft's stories. Also Krampus has always been a being that I've loved the idea of because it's much more likely to straighten out naughty kids than just saying that they'll get coal.

But what will you do, Krampus, when faced with something even you can't understand...?

Nicely done.

10419834
Depends on if you need something, or if you want to help others.

I really really like this

I figured I'd put a spin on things I'm tired of the cliché nightmare moon, it's supposed to be an alternate universe, why can't Celestia be the one to be banished? So we get this

Well done my friend! You've made yet another amazing chapter for an amazing story!

Amazing I wander what abilities this krampus will have. :moustache:

10421196
Well high and long jumps and being able to control toys and ribbons are three for now, I plan to give more if his powers away next chapter.

`talk with thine sister` should be talk with Mine sister.

10421264
Will fix it, old english is very hard to understand and write

10420403
I, can tell naughty from nice, blizzards are my harald and shadow, the toys are my army. So ask yourself...is being bad really a good way to face me...rahahahaha

`Thy name is Krampus,` should be mine name or my name, im not sure

10421272
Will fix thank you, the next chapter is going to take place closer to the shows actual time but still before it so this will be (for now) the last chapter with old Equish, until Celestia/Daybreaker returns

10421269
And when your toys lie broken and turned to ashes, Krampus, what will you do then? For you truly are Harmonies' Shadow. Whereas I am it's Nightmare.

I want to do a crossover now, XD

10421298
XD I plan to have Krampus make his token next chapter, what is your story, because I am very intrigued

10421311
Less of a story, more of a being. Pinkamena. But not just Cupcakes. Smile HD is in there too. She's an anti-hero now. Either way, try 'The Super Duper Awesome Life of the Party Pony"; 'The Black Moon Howls'; and 'DisHarmony: Genesis.'

10421316
Will do and I look forward to doing a crossover when I can

A bit rushed in my opinion. It could use some work. Perhaps slow down the pace a bit and stretch the chapters out. You could have done something where Celestia is initially open to inviting Krampus in to her castle and then you could use a few servants and other characters to establish both the character of Krampus and use Celestia viewing things from an outside perspective where she doesn't get the whole story to drive her to that final daybreaker moment. What I'm saying is this felt rushed and I think there were a few ways to fix it.

10421445
This is why I'm writing this story, to help me get better with writing and I always look forward to hearing what people think or how I could do better so this way I can learn

10421451
That's great. Anyways I hope to see your writing improve with future chapters. I am enjoying this story despite my criticism. Criticism I will continue to throw at you as the story goes on.

10421456
I expect nothing less, if I don't receive criticism how am I supposed to grow? Hopefully you continue to enjoy the story

Great work keep it up

10422523
Will do, I plan the next can to be out tomorrow but I feel it's a little rushed right now so I'm going to tweak it a bit more and see if I can get it paces correctly

Bravo my good man a truly wonderful chapter. Cant wait to see what happens next :moustache:

This is so good! I wish I could write like you can. Keep up the great work!

10424620
Don't worry about being as good as me, I'm still learning, and I just write what comes to my mind and focus my imagination into creating the scene but I can never write it as well as my imagination puts it all I can do is try. That's all any of us can do is try and sooner or later we get better at what were trying

I love the concept that Krampus can turn ponies into toys:pinkiesmile::trixieshiftleft:

The fight scene really fit the theme of who Krampus is pretty well. No punches thrown despite Krampus' strength, just a lot of holiday themed attacks.

There was an oddly high amount of stuffing dudes in sacks, though. Gave me serious Bloodborne flashbacks. Where are you taking those guys, Krampy? Yahar'gul?:raritywink:

"Nopony would ever do such evil, this is the work of Grogar if I had to hazard a guess."

If it was Grogar, they would be alredy dead

" Celestia fell victim to the shadows, and fell into darkness didn't she? " I asked knowing the answer.

Oh don't try to sell that and scapegoat the magic.
She obviously was racist before with "all ponies are good and can't be evil but not other races" and become even more after Sombra

This was an excellent chapter with a well chosen song. Keep up the good work, my friend!

Excellent work and a I like filly cadence She so cute is she Pegasus before she became a Alicorn

10425144
No she's a unicorn, I thought I put that in the chapter but I could be wrong

10424744
Not a sack his wicker basket, and maybe I'll start next chapter with where he takes them

This was a massive improvement. The multiple points of view helped with exposition and context so that is amazing. The extra detail is always good. I liked the fight scene and how it worked off of the original krampus format of this slow unstoppable force and it's minions. The only complaint I have is that there are some double words and some grammar errors but that's just part of getting better at writing. Can't wait for the next chapter.

10425157
I think they're referring to the extended canon continuity of G4 itself. One of the books (yes, there are gen 4 chapter books) has Cadance tell Twilight her life story and she specifically mentions that she was born a pegasus, and she ascended to alicornhood after reversing a love stealing spell that had been cast by Prismia, a pony enchantress. Another book confirms this as it reiterates that she was a pegasus as a young filly.

Nothing wrong with your version of things, as you already have made this a significant AU.

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