• Member Since 29th Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen May 14th, 2023

Itztli FP


Mexicano (ajua) y un gran fanático de MLP

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Comet Dust is an orphan rejected by his companions and most of the ponies just because his appearance. Without friends and only one pony who really cares him, he decided to spend his time alone, far away from other ponies. What happen when someday, a pony decided to adopt him. How will he adjust to his new life? Will he understand the importance of friendship? What adventures waits for him in his new home in Ponyville?

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 60 )

Good beginning can't wait for the next chapter

Comment posted by Itztli FP deleted Sep 5th, 2020

Good chapter can't wait for the next chapter

For being so smart, Twilight is so ignorant...I mean come on, she knew he had a bad history with other kids, his first day of school he comes home shy and bruised and doesn't wanna talk about it/deflects. It pretty much screams bullies.

Are you still working on this story, Itztli FP?

10549955
Yes, I'm still working on it. I just uploaded a new chapter. I hope you like it.
Sorry I did´t answered sooner, I've been a little busy, but I'm actually working on the next chapter.

How long will it be before Comet starts calling Twilight ‘mom’?

Comment posted by Pony addiction deleted Dec 16th, 2020

I deleted my previous comment because I thought I was wrong, but I wasn't. You really need a editor,

“Oh, don’t worry, she will come back in a few days. She went to his family farm, a problem with parasprites if I remember. But she wasn’t the only one, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy also left. They went to Cloudsdale to visit Fluttershy’s parents, they’ll will be back for tomorrow”. She said finishing coumb the easiest hair of Comet.

There are a LOT of spelling mistakes and other errors I can't think remember the name of

Congratulations, you are the first person to make me want to kill a pony, not even Diamond Tiara or Spoiled Milk/Rich could do that.

10584098
Yeah, I know. Actually, English it is not my native language, it is Spanish, the original language the fanfic is wrote. I made the traslating myself, and I know it is not the best, I still have a lot to learn.
I hope my errors didn't make it too confusing. I'll do my best to improve my English.

10584242
I´m not very sure if that´s a good or a bad thing, but thank you. It means that I´m doing something right.

10585149
Thank you. I'm glad you liked my work.

But, not many ponies of your age cold carry so many objects

Could carry

10585726
That was a missclick, I have "could carry" on the paper. :v

I honestly hope his old parents (if you can even call them that) don’t find out about him. Especially with him being Twilights kid.

10601100
I haven´t decided that yet, but I've been thinking about it. We are going to have to find it out in the sext chapters.
Thanks for comment.

Oh no. The train has stopped. Also nice to see him talk to Cary and the violin sounds nice.

10627869
I'm glad you liked it. Thaks for the comment and the suport

Who do you think Comet will have a crush on?

Twilight had taken the bait. She believed every word Comet said; too easy. He, much to his regret, decided that would be a better explanation than saying that other foals hit him or harassed him at school. He repeated over and over to him that all was worthy if Twilight was happy believing in a lie than disappointed and sad with the truth, encouraging him to continue it. But for how much longer?

When is Comet gonna grow a pair and show rumble and his gang why he is Twilight Sparkles son

You seriously need a editor

After large minutes of unworthy searching, Cheerilee went back to the classroom. Fearing for his students’ safety, maybe something dangerous was outside, she finished the classes for that day and walked with the foals to the town again. Then she had to do the unpleasant and horrible duty to tell Comet´s mother the bad news, something nopony wanted to do never in its life.

These are small things that break the flow for me, I'm not qualified for the editor role, at least not yet

10696861
I already thought about that, but if I tell you I would made a spoiler

10697518
Sorry, I made my best to check my grammar, but I sill missing some things. I know I need an editor, the problem is I don't know anyone who can made that job.

Not too far away from him, a "fully" was really happy to see him again.

Filly

Nice. Can’t wait to see what he does.

nice to see this back.

10768627
Sorry for the delay, I've been a little busy lately

10769565
its all good. life happens right.

ooooooh boy. things are gonna get dicey.

Welp, now Twilight is gonna think she failed as a mother so hard when she finds out about this.

He might get a little power hungry unless he knows how to control himself

Keep up the good work

10869333
Well, she did. She saw his mood and personality shift after he started school. Yet she never had the gumption to investigate his school, talk to the teachers, or even bother to look into it at all.

And this went on for months, and a good parent who loves and knows their kids would see that something is wrong and narrow it down to the fact that they dread going to school and start looking into why there. Twilight did none of that.

Chapter 3. Mane problems.
After spend the resto of the morning buying at Ponyville’s Market,with a hidden Comet every time they got close to a stand, although, not as nervous as before, they made a little stop at Sugarcube Corner to rest a little bit, eat something and, perhaps, dink a milkshake.
Twilight was amazed with Comet’s magic ability. Although his short age, he could easily carry several of the bags and boxes they carried with theirselves, some quite heavy, just with the force of his horn. Remembering Cary told her that Comet had learned by himself.

extra o, what you have writin is a bit jarring and i think would flow better writtin as (with comet hiding every time they got close to a stand),you misspelled (drink),Did you mean young age? What are u saying??
sorry if this came of as bossy i dont normally do grammer correction comments so i might be coming of as bossy

Feel like Twilight gives into easily... The kid is 6 years old ..... And he is turning into a super villain....


But good Story, but hope it's gonna turned out for the better, before he becomes a villain

Awesome story and I like how you add it that affection of love he was looking for

Awesome work here I can't wait to see what you do next

Keep up the good work I like this and I think your character is great I hope he stops him self soon before he can't stop him self

10964338
It´s not problem, I know my English is not the best. Spanish is actually my native language and there are some phrases that maybe doesn´t exist in English, like Young age, is a literal traduccion of "joven edad" "corta edad" o "temprana edad". I´ll thank you if you help me with my grammar

11016884
Thaks a lot. I've been very busy lately, but I hope I could finish the next chapter soon.

I like Comet like this. He's a fighter.

11077451
Yeah, he´s a fighter, but sometimes is good to have some backing

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