- Member Since 14th Aug, 2020
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
WriterStorm PenKey
New to the brony fandom and love the Anon-a-Miss storylines and love the Sunlight ship
WriterStorm PenKey
Joined 14th Aug, 2020 ·
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Sequels1
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WriterStorm PenKey · 4k words · 3 26 · 307 views
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Why give the characters from our world made-up names?
10445205
well the two characters from the real world are represented as me and my former friend and cheyanne is me and that is my real name to lol sorry about that i didn't know if you guys knew that lol but it's okay thanks and this story is my first story ever posted on this site so enjoy and there are more chapter to come i hope you've enjoy the read
10445649
Former? Did somthing happend?
Sorry for bad inglish
10538288
We got into a big fight and well it's all in the story of how we're former friend from chapter 1-final but it's the character is a version of her in this story she's the one that looks nervous on my cover art i actually drew that lol plus I'm making a sequel of it a part two so stay tuned for that
10538293
Ok thank for claearin that up
Sorry for bad inglish
10538499
Thanks sorry for the miscommunication about that the fanfic itself is a story of the representation of me and my former friend who has the same name and the name of the other person is the representation of me which is Cheyanne and the former friend is halie hopefully I clear that up and I will be doing more and possibly doing a sequel to this fanfic a part 2
Alright, so there's really no easy way to put this, but what really needs work, for a start, would be the sentence construction and the punctuation. There are points in the story where I'm not sure what's going on and it's quite messy. Might I suggest an editor for future stories? Or maybe Grammarly or something, at the very least. That could help with making it easier to read.
Storyline wise, I think it's a bit fast. You should slow down to allow more development first, as a suggestion, so that you can flesh out the characters more. This story has already been completed, so I guess there's not much more to be done for it, except to maybe go back and add in the necessary punctuation and better sentences.
So alright, I shall look forward to improvement, be it this story or future ones!
10549456
Okay Thanks, I’ll try my best to find an editor for this story and thanks for the constructive criticism too I appreciate it, and my story is a little fast is because I wanted to have the relationship between the two characters to be instantly so thanks for that.
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
10550336
I don’t even know why it has that many I mean this was my first fanfic I ever wrote so but it’s not that bad it has a good plot and background I don’t know why people are like that but it’s really good and thanks for the comment about the characters names but they are a representation of me and my former friend so yeah thanks for asking
10538293
Kinda funny... as Cheyanne's birthday... is also mine. Though I was born literally three and a half months earlier than I should have been.
10552088
the character Cheyanne is a depiction of me in this story
Funny story that’s really my birthday also