• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen February 11th

MagnetBolt


E

This story is a sequel to Ask Not the Sparrow


This story is set in the same AU as Ask Not The Sparrow - if you haven't read that, it's fine, but be aware that most characters have been swapped with their closest counterparts.


Ponyville Days is the biggest event of the season, or at least it will be once Rarity gets her hooves on it. She's invited a special guest to town, one who has a certain amount of history with one of her friends. Will things go as planned, or will it all end in disaster?

Since it's been at least a week since the last disaster, most ponies are already placing bets on which half of town gets destroyed.


A big thanks to all my readers. This one took a surprising amount of time to write, even though I had the whole idea in my head start to finish almost from the get-go. Some scenes just didn't want to come together, and it took a while to polish them. I hope you enjoy, and I've already got another story planned out for this continuity.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 28 )

I do love the touch of Pinkie using her parents' diction at times. She's the Ponyville homebody, after all. It follows that she'd be the one with an accent that the rest of the town doesn't have.

The filly shushed her. “Can you move? You’re standing in my light.”

"Do not disturb my circles," said the young Twilimedes.
:rainbowlaugh: And then they're actually circles.

“It’s where they send most recruits,” Chrysalis said. “They’re keeping Equestria safe from the Empire.”

Oh. Oh, that's very different from baseline. :twilightoops: And it may just answer a question hanging over the whole story: If this is what this timeline's Chrysalis is like, what's the nature of its Cadence?

In all, a wonderful read. It feels like an episode of the show, and I mean that in the best way. Thank you for it. Here's hoping you explore this setting more in the future.

10408091

If this is what this timeline's Chrysalis is like, what's the nature of its Cadence?

Who do you think is running the Empire?

Okay, now this was an unexpected but completely delightful little story!

10408156
Cadance as Sombra's hot, evil daughter? I like the idea. :duck:

You're back! And with a fun slice-of-life piece about hard work, love, and grape jelly.

The series of flashbacks are adorable! I love the insight into Twilight’s character - while she was intelligent as a filly, she still had the “adults can do anything” optimism. The end of the last flashback confused me, though; it was never mentioned that Chrysalis was transformed in that scene.

Unfortunately, I liked this less than Ask Not the Sparrow. While that fanfic gave us insight into all of the leads, we don’t learn much about Rarity in Love Bites. Also, why does Rarity deliver the exposition at the beginning if she’s new to Ponyville?

"Chrysalis wasn’t the Queen of Love for a reason, after all."
"Chrysalis wasn’t the Queen of Love for no reason, after all."?

"how completely the other ingredients recommended"
...Was "recommended" indeed the word you wanted there? Possibly this is a usage I'm not familiar with, but I'm not understanding it here.

"I don’t have a Feather Fall spell prepared!"
Huh, some potential interesting implications for the way unicorn magic works here...
Also curious why Twilight didn't think of telekinesis at first... Hm.

Very nice. :) And interesting! Thanks for writing. :)
...Also, I appear to not be following you. Well, let's fix that. :D

(...Though I do wonder: what did Twilight use her third wish for, if anything?)

Not much I can say other than excellent job on this sequel story. As with the last story, the exchanges are very well done and, despite the details that make this an alternate universe, it still has most of the characters largely in character. Very good wrap-up too. Yeah, I LOVE how, in this universe, Chrysalis is at least pragmatic enough to know she can get a lot more love (and, thus, maintain her strength much longer) by being benevolent. Unfortunately, the trade-off is that, at least in Twilight's fillyhood, Equestria was at war with the Crystal Empire. Obviously the war got resolved by the time Twilight and her future friends were adults (otherwise, the Mane Six's SECOND major adventure would have been just days after stopping Daybreaker and would have involved going behind enemy lines to the Crystal Empire). And the bits of backstory between Chrysalis and Twilight as a filly were a wonderful detail (as was the fact that Twilight's wishes in those days involved helping others). And, yeah, I can see where Twilight might want so much for this to go well that she would, unintentionally, go to the same extreme that the Crusaders did in "Hearts and Hooves Day" (i.e. taking the stuff about "liquid love" a little too seriously).

All in all, really wonderful work on this and I am definitely going to be looking forward to more of this universe.

10409213
Equestria was at war with the Crystal Empire
Evil Candace Vs Shining

“Didn’t she tell you?” Chrysalis asked. “I’m her fairy godmother!”

Yes, yes! (I love this joke with Chrysalis)

This was great! Nice to see how Twilight slots into sort-of Rarity's role in this universe, by opening a magic shop. Chrysalis and her changelings as "fairies" is also a great concept. Looking forward to more!

When you feel safe,
when you feel warm,
that's when I rise,
That's when I come.
Gliding the mists,
hardly a sound.
Bringing the kiss,
evil's abound.
In the dead of night...
Love Bites.

Sorry. Anytime I see a fic with a title that reminds me of a metal song, I can't help myself. Nice fic!

10408211
And of course she is going to fall for the heroic captain of the guards guardpony Shining Armor.

the only question is what role Flash Sentry (Ah-ah! Savior of the universe!) will have in the story. :pinkiehappy:

Nice Au, I hope you write more.

and those rumors are untrue, I stopped experimenting with necromancy after the Mayor had a long talk with me and made me pay all those fines

:rainbowderp: I don't suppose we might ever see this story, maybe? Pretty please?

“Didn’t she tell you?” Chrysalis asked. “I’m her fairy godmother!”

:pinkiegasp:

“So why did she decide on Ponyville?” Rarity asked.

“She found out Appleoosa didn’t have a town library.”

:rainbowlaugh: That is so our Bookhorse :twilightsmile:

10408091 Given that the Empire has been an issue since before Twilight was a little filly, I suspect the problem is an immortal (or undead) Sombra (granted, Cadance might still be part of the Empire as well ....)

“Myself excluded, I hope,” Chrysalis said. “I’d like to think I’m a very well-behaved monster.”

This is a very interesting line for Chrysalis to speak after showing up in disguise.

“If you were an exotic bird she’d already be here trying to flirt with you,” Rainbow said.
“Maybe next time,” Chrysalis said.

Another great line, since the others think maybe next time Fluttershy will talk to her but Chrysalis means maybe next time she visits Fluttershy it will be as an exotic bird.

“Didn’t she tell you?” Chrysalis asked. “I’m her fairy godmother!”
Well, her true form has the wings for it.

Really there's a lot of great dialogue here, too much to quote it all, and it's a well-crafted alternate universe. It makes me want to see more of this universe, but what we've got stands well.

What a cute little story! I would certainly like to see more stories in this little AU of yours. I liked Twilight’s relationship with Chrysalis. The idea that she and the Changelings are like classical fairies isn’t done as often in fandom or the show, even though they’re named after a type of fae.
Also, I liked how Twilight knows what Chrysalis really look like, but cares for her anyway. Great job.

I absolutely adore this AU. :rainbowlaugh:

D'awwww, that was cute. And intriguing, gotta read more about this AU.

Well, I loved this. :heart: Another delightful romp through a different, yet familiar cast of ponies. The relationship and history between Chrysalis and Twilight was downright adorable...BUT WHAT'S TWILIGHT'S LAST WISH? Chrysalis rejected her attempt, that means she still has one left!

Perhaps she is saving it for once she's a little older, and that Fairy Godmother might become something more.:heart:



And I'm going wildly into headcanon territory, but for Chrysalis and Cadence(?) to switch places here... makes a lot of sense. Righteous though she might be, Luna is still princess of the night, with perhaps some affinity for secrets and shadows. In her centuries she may have found the changelings hiding in plain sight, and so made friends of potential enemies. At the same time, being less for court politics and 'discovery of talent' than canon Celestia, Cadence's lineage/power may have slipped her notice, letting the pink filly find a more malign master with a fondness for crystals.

DF

I love this story. :heart:

And so many references! My favorite is probably Twilight "Do not disturb my circles" Sparkle, with "No soup for you!" as a close second.

“No, of course not. But it was much different from giving a lonely foal a new pet, or a magical night ruling Equestria alongside Princess Luna.” She’d found giving foals some idea of what they might want helped them decide more quickly.

[/@zb]

The more I read about this AU, the more I want to read more. These are some delightful takes on alternate versions of the main characters, and I'm having a lot of fun wondering how other cast members might turn out.

Hmm. Chrysalis is already taking Cadence's role, so this would imply that Cadence takes her role -- but this line-

“It’s where they send most recruits,” Chrysalis said. “They’re keeping Equestria safe from the Empire.”

-also suggests interesting things about this universe's Cadence.

But who else? If this is about pair switches, I could see interesting things done with Tirek and Scorpan, or Stygian and Starswirl.

“And today I made you cover for one of my mistakes,” Twilight said. “Sorry.”

Technically it was Rarity's idea. Just saying. I am curious as to who Luna's student is though.

Excellent story, great romance and I love how utterly different yet incredible faithful twilight is. Just something I don't get is how Pinkie has changed. She has the fewer lines of all the characters and they have so... much nothing. Is she now taciturn? But that role seems to be taken by another of her sisters. Is she like a non-depressed deflated pinkie? What is her cutie mark/special talent? Is she a rock farmer? And Applejack is a cafe owner, based on apples right?

Sequel, please.

Chrysalis flapped her massive, feathered wings

So... is this version of Chrysalis an alicorn?

I just finished a reread, and I wanted to comment again because I really am impressed by how well you balance keeping the characters feeling familiar while putting new twists on them. I especially like Twilight here, because it really does feel like a logical path for her to follow in a setting where she doesn't become a princess' student.

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