Episode 1: Arrival
The Friendship Express skidded to a halt in the train station. Once it stopped moving, it’s passenger car doors opened and let it’s passengers disembark. Among these passengers was a hot pink mare in a gray leather overcoat and carrying saddlebags. She stepped off the train, walked past the ticket booth, and out into town. She looked around, and then summoned a brochure out of her bag with her magic. She gave it a look over, and then looked around again. She smiled. “Well. This is the place. This is Ponyville.” She gave off a content sigh as she continued looking around. Everywhere she looked, she could see Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns going about their business, and living in harmony with each other. The mare smiled. “Looks like mom and dad weren’t kidding when they said this place had all three subspecies of ponies living here in harmony. Although...” She looked off in the distance...to see a massive crystal castle standing over the town. “They never mentioned a giant castle made of crystals being part of town.” She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the brochure again. She didn’t see a giant crystal castle anywhere on the town map. “Hm. Must be a recent addition.” She shrugged and put the brochure back in her saddlebag. “Gotta get an up-to-date town map. In the meantime, I should get to my new house and start unpacking. And make sure nothing got destroyed in shipping...oh dear Celestia...MY INSTRUMENTS!” On that note. The mare took off in a full gallop into town.
A few minutes later, she reached the front door of her new home and stopped. She looked at the number on the door. She smiled. “453 Pony Street. This is it. Oh please don’t let anything be broken.” She reached out with her magic to open the door, but stopped and actually fell back a little ways when a giant monster landed on the roof and let out a loud roar. She looked up to see the monster staring right at her. “WHAT THE?!” The monster roared again, causing all nearby ponies to flee in terror. The Mare just stood up and looked the monster right in the eye. “Oh no you don’t! I didn’t spend hours on a train just to become homeless!” She charged up her horn and with one burst of magic, sent the monster rocketing into the sky, far FAR away from the town. The Mare smiled at her handiwork. “That was close.” She returned to her door and went to open it, before stopping again when she got the feeling she was being watched. She turned around to see seven ponies staring at her, jaws ajar. The Mare looked around nervously. Trying to find words. Finally the words came out. “Uh...that...that wasn’t your guys’ monster...pet, was it?”
The white unicorn shook her head. “No. Not at all darling, we were trying to run it out of town.”
The blue rainbow maned Pegasus nodded. “But then we turn the corner and see you blast it into Tartarus!”
The Mare smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Yeah. Well...I did just move here. I’m not really keen on losing my house on the first—oof!” That was as far as the Mare got before she was tackled to the ground by the pink earth pony, who was beaming at her.
“YOU’RE NEW THIS IS AMAZING WELCOME TO PONYVILLE I’M PINKIE PIE WHAT’S YOUR NAME YOU WANT A TOUR I CAN SHOW YOU AROUND FIRST I GOTTA PLAN A WELCOME PARTY FOR YOU I’LL INVITE EVERYPONY AND YOU’LL MAKE LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS AND THIS IS SO EXCITING I GOTTA GO THANK YOU FOR HELPING RUN THAT MONSTER OUT OF TOWN SEE YA LATER!” Before the Mare knew what was happening, the pink earth pony, who was called pinkie pie? She didn’t quite catch that. The pink earth pony mare bounced off her and disappeared at lightning speed.
The Mare twitched, trying to regain control of her body from the shock. “Uh...Anypony else’s ears ringing after that concert?” She asked dazedly.
She heard chuckling before an orange hoof entered her vision. She took it and was helped back onto her hooves by another Earth Pony. Who gave her a warm smile. “That’s just Pinkie Pie sugarcube. The resident Party Planner AND one mare welcome committee of Ponyville.”
The Mare nodded as she shook off any remaining daze. “So her tackling me to the ground and nearly deafening me was the welcome wagon...okey dokey.”
That got a chuckle out of the group. The white unicorn nodded. “Please forgive her for tackling you. She just gets excited like that.”
The Mare nodded. “Well, she managed to NOT break any bones so...I’ll look past it.”
Everypony chuckled at that. The light pink unicorn smiled. “Good. She doesn’t mean any harm. She just wants to make sure everypony smiles.”
The Mare nodded. “I can tell.”
The lavender unicorn nodded. “Yeah. Anyway. Thank you for helping with the monster. We do appreciate it.”
The Mare nodded. “No problem. Uh...that’s not a common occurrence around here...is it?”
The white unicorn chuckled. “Do not worry darling, the creatures of the Everfree Forest typically stick to the Forest itself.”
The Mare sighed in relief and nodded. “Oh Thank Elysium. I was afraid I just moved into Tartarus’s playground.”
That got a chuckle out of everyone. “You actually just moved into its front yard. Still safer though.” Commented the rainbow maned Pegasus.
The Mare nodded. “Well. We’ll see.” She glanced at her door, which STILL hadn’t been opened yet. “Anywho. I should probably go in and start unpacking. It was really nice to meet you all. I guess I’ll see you all at the party?” She saw everypony nod. She nodded back. “Great. See you then.”
Everypony smiled and waved back. “See you then.” They all recited.
The Mare nodded and turned to finally enter her new home. She took a glance back to see the group of mares leaving, but her eyes widened as she caught sight of the lavender unicorn’s side. The Mare saw that she had WINGS. She let out a quiet gasp. Sweet Honey! She’s got them too! The Mare quickly entered her home and shut the door. She breathed heavily before sighing. “I thought I was the only one.” She shook her head clear. “No. No she can’t possibly have them. It was probably the daze of being tackled unexpectedly. Yeah. It must’ve been that.” She breathed in, and out. “Next time you see her, she’s either going to have wings, or a horn. Not both.”
With that. She nodded and went to open a box, only for the box she was going to open to EXPLODE and the pink earth pony from before landed on her hooves. “Hiya new friend!”
The Mare stumbled back on her rump in shock. “What the?! Why...but you...how...what?!” Her brain struggled to think right as Pinkie chuckled.
“I just came to tell you to get to Sugarcube Corner, go out the front door, turn left and walk til you see the gingerbread looking house. That’s Sugarcube Corner. Anywho. See ya when I come getcha for the party!” With that, Pinkie bounced out the door and closed it behind her.
The Mare stared at the door, not knowing what the hay just happened. “I...I...” She sighed. “I hope there’s someone I can talk to about that Pinkie.” She shook her head as she stood up again. She sighed in relief. “Thank Elysium I hadn’t taken off my coat yet. My secret would’ve been out like that.”
“SECRET? What secret?” The Mare jumped in surprise as Pinkie popped out of a flower pot. She watched as Pinkie landed on the floor.
The Mare’s eye twitched. “But you...I just...HOW DID YOU EVEN FIT IN THERE?!”
Pinkie chuckled. And proceeded to ignore the Mare’s question. “You got a secret? What is it? I can totally keep it for you. What is it?”
The Mare shook her head and smiled nervously. “Secret? What secret? I don’t have a secret. Why are we talking about secrets?”
Pinkie gave the Mare a hard stare. Nopony moved for what seemed like hours, then, Pinkie smiled. “Okey doki Loki. But I got my eye on you. No mystery shall go unsolved with Pinkamena Diane Pie!” With that, Pinkie bounced out the door, again. And closed it behind her. Again.
The Mare immediately used her magic to LOCK the door behind her. And sighed in relief. “Phew. That was way too close.” She walked to inspect the flowerpot that Pinkie had popped out of. She peered in and saw that the pot WASN’T able to fit a pony. “Yep. Definitely asking about that mare. So far she’s fit into a box, and a flowerpot, and I HAVEN’T seen her enter. At all.” She sighed and shook her head. “Just focus on unpacking. You’ll have plenty of time to question that mare now that you’re living in her town.” With that, the Mare started unpacking...trying to decide whether to fear the welcome party or not.
To be continued.
WHOO! Sure is GREAT to be back!
After being bitten by the shipping bug of other fandoms, I.E. Lumity from The Owl House, MLP has managed to draw me BACK and inspire this brand new story! ENJOY!
leave a comment with theories, predictions, or things you want to see happen in this series. I'm open to suggestions. 
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Most curious. Even more curious is that we don't know our protagonist's name yet.
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don't worry. I won't pull a The Mandolorian and keep the name hidden the entire first season. her name should be known by the end of the third chapter at the absolute latest.😊
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Speaking of names, is your username pronounced Command Red, or Commander Ed?
Commander Red. I'm considering changing it to something else if that's possible.
EDIT
Now I'm Captain Cosmos. Much better.
I think this story has a very good premise, with a new character moving into Ponyville. From what I can remember, the only move-in we ever got a good look into from the show was that of Twilight; pretty much every Ponyville resident we know the names of was already established, so I'm happy to see a story like this.
I also liked the inclusion of the Mane Six welcoming this mare. It was super sweet of them to do that!
Another strength of this chapter is the surprises. Most notably for me, the monster. Surprises are good to include because it's a great way to keep people reading. I sure paid more attention to the story after these.
I also find the story to be enticing to read more of because we don't seem to know yet how our protagonist became an alicorn. Mysteries galore, even if, per the tags, it's not really a mystery story!
As for where improvements could be made, I do think the chapter could have been more descriptive and slower-paced at times, and could have used more spaces in between text. For the beginning, this could have worked better:
I figured a written example would be a much better tool than simply stating what could be improved! I hope I helped!
Overall, this story does look promising and I am looking forward to reading the rest!
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Thank you for your kind words.
Yeah, I will admit that looking back it is a little fast paced. hopefully I slowed down a bit in subsequent chapters.
No, her Welcome Wagon's in the shop.
So far so good! Can't wait to read further chapters and find out her name! This'll be exciting
Interesting start
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Thanks!
Great start so far!
Even better!!!
10814572
Enjoy the story!
10814572
i know right i am on my second time reading this
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How do you like the story?
... Celestia, I'm stupid for putting off reading this for so long.
Now I just have... Um... ~270k words to read to catch up to the latest chapter of Season 2. Wish me luck, ponies.
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It’ll be even more words because I’m gonna post the last chapter of Season 2 today. :)
Hope you enjoy the story!
Oosh. Not the best start. An O.C. with wings and a horn tends to be a MAJOR turn-off for a lot of people because it tends to indicate a badly written Mary Sue type character. Just letting you know, not insulting the work. I will continue onward and see where this leads.