2: Does Whatever A Spider Can
The rest of the day passed by pretty quickly, with the tour taking them through most of the labs in the building. Granted there were a few they couldn't get into that were part of the [CLASSIFIED] projects, but overall they still saw plenty of cool stuff. Frankly the Nanofiber lab and the Robotics lab were some of the highlights for Twilight, along with the Genetics lab.
But eventually the tour had to end and Twilight found herself on a bus heading home.
Or she would've had her stomach not decided she was going to stop and get a double bacon cheeseburger with lettuce, onion, no mayo, no mustard, no tomato, and extra pickles. Plus a side of fries and a strawberry milkshake.[1]
Though to be fair she did skip out on breakfast that morning, so she couldn't blame her stomach.
So instead of a bus she ended up taking the subway home, thankfully finding a car that wasn't too full of people. As it was there were only three people. Two of them were a mother and daughter with blond hair and yellow eyes, the mother having eyes that seemed to look in two different directions at once. The mother was talking on a phone to someone (judging by the smile on her face and the words used she guessed either her boyfriend or her husband) and the kid was reading a comic book. The third was an elderly man with hair that was light gray to almost white, a bushy mustache in the same color, and a pair of glasses. He looked at the kid, smiled and said "Try and be careful with that comic, kiddo. It's a first-edition."
The little girl nodded and replied "Got it, Mister Lee."[2]
Twilight couldn't help but smile at that. Nice to see there are at least some nice people in this city.
She was jarred out of her musing by the screeching of the train's brakes as it came to a stop, which for some reason sounded louder than normal. "They should really get that checked," she muttered.
Once she was back on the surface she walked the last few blocks to her apartment, fighting against the knot forming in her stomach as she walked inside the building, as well as a feeling a bit lightheaded. "Ugh... why did I get the double cheeseburger," she groaned.
A slightly pessimistic voice in her head whispered Maybe it was the spider bite.
Don't be ridiculous. I've been bitten by spiders before and it never made me feel the least bit queasy.
True, but those were just common house spiders. That spider wasn't exactly normal. It could've been an experiment that got out of its cage, having been genetically modified or exposed to unholy levels of radiation. And if it bit you, then-
She hit herself on the side of the head. Oh, shut up! It's nothing major. I will go to bed early, and tomorrow morning I'll wake up and everything will be fine. Nothing weird is going to happen to me!
The moment she walked into the apartment she immediately heard a baby laughing. Seeing Cadance in the kitchen cooking something she smiled and asked "What's Flurry Heart watching that's got her so happy?"
Cadance smiled and replied "Gravity Falls."
"Good choice."
"Well, Spike was the one who put it on." She then looked at Twilight and asked "You feeling okay? You look a little pale."
Twilight couldn't comment on that since she didn't have a mirror on hand, but she replied "I think I ate something I shouldn't have."
Cadance walked over and placed a hand on Twilight's forehead. "Ouch. You're running a slight fever."
"I'm fine." Looking around she asked "Where's Shining?"
Cadance sighed sadly. "Working late tonight. Apparently they got a new lead that might help them figure out the identity of the Storm King."
That got Twilight's attention, since it was arguably one of the Manehattan Police Department's biggest cases.
The Storm King was arguably one of the biggest organized crime leaders in the city, with a serious foothold in drug trading, racketeering, illegal arms dealing, money laundering, the list went on. The only thing he didn't seem to deal in was human trafficking or prostitution. But regardless he was ruthless, efficient, and very good at hiding his tracks. The only reason the MPD even got his alias was because one of his goons actually cooperated and told them what he knew (which wasn't much but it was enough to break up a drug deal.)
Two days later that goon was found dead in his cell, poisoned.
Ever since then the MPD has been working overtime, chasing every tip and lead that they managed to snag. But the Storm King remained ever elusive. "So he's gonna be pulling an all-nighter?"
"Unfortunately." Deciding to change the subject, Cadance asked "You sure you don't wanna take some medicine?"
The thought of it was enough to almost make Twilight hurl right then and there. Especially because Cadance and Shining Armor always bought the cherry flavored NyQuil, which never agreed with Twilight's stomach or taste buds. "Cadance, it's probably just a stomach bug. A good night's sleep and I'll be perfectly fine tomorrow morning."
She looked like she wanted to argue, before saying "Alright, you win. Just as long as you actually go to bed and don't pull another all-nighter of your own."
Rolling her eyes, Twilight said "Don't worry, Cadance. I'm going straight to bed."
"Okay then. Good night."
Pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge, she said "Night, Cadance."
She downed the bottle of water before she exited the kitchen. She stepped into the living room-
-and had to clamp a hand over her mouth to stop from cursing as a sharp, searing pain erupted in the bottom of her foot. She looked down and immediately saw the culprit; a bright red LEGO brick. "Spike, did you spill your LEGOs again?"
"Ehehehe. I'd be lying if I said 'No.'"
She looked to see her ten year old little brother, wearing a green tee-shirt and purple cargo shorts. His emerald green hair was in its usual mohawk, which matched his emerald green eyes. He smiled bashfully and said "Sorry about that. I was carrying one of my creations out here to work on it, and Flurry Heart threw her bottle and... well..."
She looked and saw that the whole floor was actually covered in red LEGO bricks, along with a few yellow and some black ones. Some were by themselves, others were clumped into various shapes and sizes, and in the middle of it all was a half full baby bottle. Twilight looked over into the living room, seeing Flurry Heart trying to look as innocent as possible with those sky blue eyes of her. Smirking, Twilight picked up the bottle and handing it down to her before ruffling her purple and blue hair and saying "Wow. For barely a year old she's got a mean throwing arm."
"Why do I get the feeling when she starts going to school she's going to be a total tomboy?"
"Don't let Cadance her you say that." She looked over at the dining room table, noticing what looked like the remains of a bird's talons on a bunch of black and red-orange bricks LEGO bricks formed like a volcano. "So, what movie monster are you trying to recreate in LEGO?"
Spike smiled. "Rodan."
"Which era?"
"Monsterverse. Already got the right paints for when I got the thing put together." He looked over at Flurry Heart and added "Assuming a certain someone doesn't nail him again with a ballistic baby bottle."
Flurry Heart's response was to stick her tongue out playfully at Spike, earning a giggle from Twilight and an eyeroll from Spike. "Cheeky little brat," Spike muttered.
"You probably shouldn't have taught her that."
"I didn't. Shining did."
"Suuure. Well, have fun."
"Can do."
After a quick shower and changing into some night clothes, Twilight collapsed on her bed. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel a lot better.
Or you could wake up tomorrow with four additional limbs, eight eyes, and poisonous fangs that-
Whatever her imaginary voice was about to say faded out as sleep overtook her.
And the spider's venom that had been slowly spreading through her system began to change her...
Meanwhile, in a shady apartment, a man was have a video chat with his boss on his laptop. "So Boss, how's it going?"
"Very good, Stinger," his boss replied. "I just managed to secure another contract to construct a block of luxury condos over in Chinatown. The deal went down for several million, and the stock for my company has raised several points."
"Well congrats," the man named Stinger replied. "But I get the feeling that ain't why you called me on the encrypted line."
"Too true, my friend. I have a... problem, that needs taken care of."
Stinger smirked. "We talking a 'persuade this guy' problem, or a 'take him out of the picture' problem?"
"The latter, unfortunately. A certain Police Lieutenant is becoming a bit of an... annoyance, if you will. While the biggest majority of the Police in this city can be bribed, bought, or coerced into seeing things from my point of view, he absolutely refuses to. And sadly, he's starting to get a following among his fellow officers."
"Sounds less like an annoyance and more like a major thorn in your side, boss."
"To each their own, Stinger. I believe he needs to be made an example of, to remind the MPD and the mayor who really owns this city. Can I trust you to do that?"
"Have I ever let you down before?"
The man on the other end laughed. "Of course not. I'll be sure to send you your payment in the usual manner."
"Good. Any specific way you want Mister Goody Two-Shoes taken out?"
"Surprise me. Those who dare stand against the King-"
"-shall face the wrath of the Storm," Stinger finished, ending the video call.
And as he walked away past the window, on his right bicep was a tattoo; a scorpion of a sickly green color...
Twilight groaned when she felt the sunlight hit her face. "One of these days I'm going to remember to close the blinds before I go to sleep."
She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, noticing that she was no longer feeling queasy or light-headed. "Well, I feel better. Now to just get changed and... And..."
As she finished her stretch her eyes had happened to stumble upon the full length mirror in her room, and what she saw in her reflection shocked her.
Cadance had always joked and said that she was too skinny, with Shining even adding that she had noodle arms. And the other girls at school all loved to make jokes at the fact that she was a bit short for her age by a few inches.
But now?
Seemingly overnight she had put on a significant amount of muscle. Not enough to be considered a bodybuilder, but enough to look like she regularly attended a gym (which she didn't) or that she was on a steroid regimen (which she didn't and never would.)[3] Hell, she'd even grown a few inches overnight, which made her realize she was now actually a bit tall for her age.
And then she noticed another surprise; she wasn't wearing her glasses, and yet she could see perfectly fine. She quickly grabbed her glasses off of her nightstand and put them off, finding that the glasses blurred up her vision. She repeatedly took them off and on, but the effect was still the same; she didn't need her glasses anymore. "That's weird."
She immediately pinched herself, which confirmed that she wasn't dreaming and all of this was real. "Okay, what the heck? I thought puberty was just supposed to be raging hormones and pimples? Not sudden growth spurts, muscle growth, and perfected eyesight. Unless..."
Her mind flash-backed to yesterday, and the strange looking spider that had bit her at DisCorp. Her hand subconsciously touched the spot it bit her on her neck, feeling the scab over the puncture wound. "No. No, it couldn't be. That's something that only works in comic books."
There was a knock on the door. "Twilight. Are you awake?"
Putting those thoughts in the back of her mind she replied "Yeah, Cadance. I just woke up."
The door opened a crack and Cadance poked her head in. "Well, you seemed to be doing better."
"Yeah. I feel better than ever, actually."
"And I see you finally decided to try out those contact lenses I got for you a month ago."
She was momentarily confused, before she remembered she wasn't wearing her glasses. "Yeah. Figured I'd try something new." She smiled and added "Who knows? Maybe if I like them enough, I'll wear them to school."
"Atta girl. Anyway, I figured I'd check on how you were doing since you slept in till 10."
Surprised, Twilight looked at her phone and said "Wow. Okay, give me a few minutes to get changed and I'll be down for breakfast."
"Better hurry. Shining made pancakes before he left this morning, and you know how much Spike loves them."
Twilight rolled her eyes and said "I'll be down in a few minutes."
Once Cadance was out, Twilight took a deep breath. "Okay, breathe Twilight," she whispered to herself. "Everything's fine. You just, had a growth spurt and your eyes spontaneously corrected themselves. Nothing is wrong."
She moved to her closet to get changed out of her nightclothes, managing to open the door...
...but with a metallic screech she tore the door knob off, the object sticking to the palm of her hand like she'd put superglue on it. Looking at it she said "I take it back. I need to get to my lab to figure out what's going on." Looking at the door knob stuck to her palm, and sighed. "After I make a quick trip to the Hardware Store."
After managing to get the door knob to stop sticking to her palm, brush her teeth and eat some breakfast without any more incidents (though she would be needing a new toothbrush) she fixed her closet door knob and then headed for her lab.
Though calling it a lab was a bit of a stretch.
In truth, her lab was really an abandoned warehouse in an equally abandoned junkyard. She'd discovered it when she had been searching for parts for one of her new gadgets, and had been surprised to find the place still had power. And surprisingly enough, it actually had some old scientific equipment that was still in pretty good condition. Granted, it was a bit out of date and the repairs she did involved A LOT of duct tape, but they still worked. Mostly.[4]
One such device that mostly worked was a DNA analyzer that could scan a blood sample and give a readout of all sorts of things.
And hopefully it would be able to tell Twilight what the hell that spider-bite did to her.
After submitting the sample the computer began to run its scans, which according to its status bar would take roughly 30 to 45 minutes. So while she waited for that to happen, Twilight decided to do a few tests to see what other changes had occurred because of the spider bite.
She found that she was now able to adhere herself to walls, the door knob being a bit of a hint at that. But surprisingly it wasn't limited to her hands. Her feet, despite being inside her sneakers, could cling to the walls of the warehouse just as much as her hands. She actually managed to climb all the way up to the ceiling, surprising herself as she was usually afraid of heights.
However, she quickly found that if she lost focus for too long, she'd unstick and fall. Fortunately, she had managed to save herself from serious injury by grabbing a nearby hanging chain and swinging from it like Tarzan.
Though she did still get a bit of a jolt when she swung into the wall opposite.
Once she recovered from that, she looked on her phone and found that some spiders could actually lift up to 170x their own weight. Assuming that now applied to her, she should be a lot stronger.
So she tested that, by lifting up an old dryer that someone had shoved several car motors inside. It had to weigh roughly about one hundred pounds at least.
She lifted it up like it was nothing, and then threw it all the way across the warehouse, hearing a satisfying CRASH!! as it slammed against the far wall.
Twilight looked at her hands after that, surprised and shocked at these new developments. "I was wrong. It was that spider. But what the hell did they do to that spider that could've done all this to me?"
At that moment a computerized BEEP! and Twilight rushed to the Analyzer to see the results. "Okay, let's see what we got." She began reading the results and listing them off out loud. "Doesn't look like the changes to my DNA is gonna turn me into some sort of half-human, half-spider monster. But the changes are a permanent part of my DNA. Enhanced strength, reflexes, adhesion abilities; knew those already. Moderate Healing Factor? Really hope I never have to find out HOW moderate that is." She squinted at one in particular. "Precognitive radar sense? What does that-"
At that moment she felt a slight buzzing in her head, and almost immediately her head turned to the side and her hand seemed to move on its own.
By the time she registered what had happened, the remains of a horsefly were found squished between her forefinger and her thumb. "Huh. Guess that's what it meant." She quickly wiped the remains off of her fingers and looked back to the computer. "Anything else?"
Before she could read it again the information on the computer screen began to distort and buzz, before the whole screen went blank. "UGH, COME ON," she growled, slamming her hand against the side. "I JUST FIXED THIS THING!"
The only response she got was a few sparks from the machine, an acrid smell and some black smoke coming from behind one of the panels. She groaned, grabbing a fire extinguisher. Once she popped open the panel and blasted out the flames, she sighed. "Great. There goes that machine."
Once she was certain that the analyzer wasn't going to burst into flames and explode, Twilight sat down on a folding chair and digested all the information. "Okay, I have superpowers now," she said aloud. "That's... obvious. I'm stronger, faster, more agile, and I can stick to walls."
She paused and asked herself "So, what am I going to do with them?"
She really didn't want to tell DisCorp or anyone in the scientific community about this. After all, she'd probably end up on some operating table getting dissected or vivisected so they could try and fined a way to replicate what happened to her. Of course that's assuming she didn't end up getting captured and taken in by the government and forced to become some sort of government bio-weapon.
She thought about her situation and how it felt like something out of one of Spike's comic books. Most of the characters that went through something like this usually ended up putting on a costume and becoming a superhero to fight crime.
But honestly...
"That's ridiculous," she told herself. "I'm no superhero. I'm nowhere near brave enough, or crazy enough to do something like this. Frankly if I tried to do something like that I'd be-"
BZZT! BZZT!
Her monologue was interrupted by her cell phone ringing, which was showing that Shining Armor was calling her. Answering it quickly she said "Hey BBBFF. What's up?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just got on lunch and I figured I'd call my favorite sister."
"I'm your only sister, knucklehead."
There was a laugh on the other end, and Shining replied "Which automatically makes you my favorite."
She rolled her eyes at his corny Dad-joke. "Is there any specific reason you wanted to call me?"
"Actually, yeah. My lunch break is good for an hour and I'm just a few blocks away from Mom and Dad. I was thinking of dropping by and saying Hi, and I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"
She thought about it for a moment before she replied "I'm only a few blocks out myself. I'll meet you there."
"Cool. See you later, sis."
"See you later, bro."
"Oh, and be sure you pick up some flowers."
She smiled sadly. "I got it. I know how Mom likes her lilies."
Once she hung up she grabbed her backpack and slipped out of the warehouse, keying in her phone the location of the nearest flower shop. Looking at the rapidly clouding sky, she said "I really hope it doesn't rain. I don't have an umbrella."
Meanwhile, Lieutenant Shining Armor of the Manehattan Police Department casually drove down the street, his radio not picking up any chatter. A bit happy at this, he continued driving towards where his parents were...
...unaware of the man discreetly tailing him driving an unassuming black car...
[1] Am I the only one who's really hungry for a burger right now? It can't just be me.
[2] Hope you guys don't mind the Stan Lee cameo.
Rest In Peace, Stan Lee. Excelsior! 
(Please note that the author was not crying when he wrote out this cameo. He was sweating through his eyes. Really.)
[3] Don't do drugs, kids. It NEVER ends well. Ever.
[4] It may be a bit much to believe, but considering all the weird science crap Sci-Twi has in the canon movies and shorts, as well as the fact that she made a robotic dog to be puppy Spike's girlfriend, I think we can let this one slide.
Okay, so quick note. A writer on this site named Flufux has their own Spider-Girl story
. I haven't read it in a while (and in fact I actually need to catch up with it sometime since I'm kind of behind on it.) so I kinda forgot that they put in their notes that they were planning on having the Storm King be their Kingpin Expy in their story. Oops.
For the record, I never intended to steal their idea. I only used the Storm King in this situation because I already have plans for King Sombra and I didn't feel like using an OC (frankly cause I already have plenty of those lined up for future villains.) But yeah, they technically came up with the idea first. So credit goes to them for the idea.
This chapter covers Twilight getting her powers, her doing a few tests to see what happens, and the Storm King sending one of his best hitmen to take care of a problem. I think you guys can connect the lines on where this is going from here.
So yeah, be forewarned, the next few chapters are going to get a bit tragic. Get your tissues ready.
But before you do that, I feel like asking you guys: "What is your favorite Spider-Man movie?" Please leave your answer in the comments below.
Until then, Equestrian Defender, out.
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Uh-oh...
Favorite Spider-Man movie overall: Into the Spider-verse
Favorite live-action movie: Far From Home
So, I see Twilight isn't motivated by selfishness or revenge like Peter is. I'm guessing whatever ends up happening to Shining Armor is going to motivate her into a life of superheroism. Also, I can't fault her reasoning for not wanting to be a superhero. I'd probably feel the same way if something like this happened to me.
By the way, last chapter, you mentioned something about Flash being a hero in his own right in this story. I know you can't give me details, but I'm assuming that he has a superhero origin story of his own that you will later reveal.
Favorite spider man movie is into the spider verse for obvious reasons, then I’d probably say homecoming or far from home for my favorite live action film. But I’m curious, a lot of people’s depictions of spidey’s strength differs. In the comics it says he can lift 10 tons but multiple times he has gone to lift as much as over 50 tons. Not to mention the disparity in strength between the three live action spider men. So how strong is twilight in your story? Will she get stronger as she grows with age and experience?
Well...she's taking this really well. Not much panic. I like it.
Wow she's really taking this in stride which frankly doesn't make much sense especially since this is Twilight we're talking about. Maybe if Superheroes were already a common occurrence i could understand her reaction, or lack thereof, but since you established that real life Superheroes are not really known of at this point her not freaking out doesn't make much sense.
That said I can appreciate the desire to just move the origin story along as quickly as possible so we can just get to Spider-Girl already.
knew it, you're killing shining off.
Oh my gosh! You're featured again!
Let’s see, my favorite Spider-Man movie would probably be a toss up between Into the Spider-verse and Far From Home.
As for the chapter. Loved the Stan Lee cameo. Miss him a lot. But nice to see him appear in a great work like this. I also noticed Derpy and Dinky too.
The glasses scene with Twilight was a good touch, straight from the origin movie. Though if Cadance discovers Twilight isn’t actually wearing contacts, by perhaps discovering the contacts she bought for her, then that might mean Twi has some explaining to do.
I have a very bad feeling for Shining Armor.
Sounds a bit like George of the Jungle too.
hear
on
So Twilight has started to discover her powers. And we’ve met this universe’s Scorpion - who seems to have set his sights on Twilight’s older brother. I’m not looking forward to that, but I realize that it has to happen this way. Sadly, it’s another factor in Spider-man’s origins - tragedy.
On a brighter note, I liked your portrayal of Spike as a monster movie fan, and Flurry Heart is just adorable.
The Stan Lee cameo was a nice scene, too. I actually heard the man’s voice in my head when I read his line.
If I had to give a favorite Spider-man movie, there’s the obvious Into the Spider-Verse, but if it’s just live-action, I honestly have to say Homecoming. I know most people have said Far from Home, but this one was Tom Holland’s first solo outing as Spidey, and the MCU’s take on the Vulture is still one of my favorite villains in the series, due in no small part to Michael Keaton’s performance.
Well, it’s about time for the next stage in Spider-Twi’s origin story, so I’d better prepare myself.
Oh, and BTW, I am always hungry for a burger.
Well my movies are..... more or less the same as the majority here. Into The Spider-Verse and Far From Home. They're just so good!
Also.... uh oh.
Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. I absolutely loved Twilight's "family moments" (ESPECIALLY the "sibling banter" with both Spike AND Shining) as well as the cameo with Muffins and Dinky (partially for the use of the characters themselves and partially because that was a great homage to "Stan Lee cameos") and the fact that Twilight is actually taking this recent spider-bite calmly (for her). And, yeah, the downside to being one of the few cops in the city who is both competent AND honest is that it paints a pretty big target on your back from pretty dangerous individuals.
And, yeah, it's pretty clear that this "Stinger" is going to be a Composite Character of the crook that killed Uncle Ben and of the Scorpion (and I wouldn't be surprised if "Stinger" ends up gaining super-powers from one of Discord's experiments once Spider-Girl makes herself enough of a threat to the Storm King's operations [though when that happens, I could see Spider-Girl commenting that "The ONLY good thing about you having superhuman strength, speed and durability is that I don't have to hold back."]).
I'm also going to guess that the human counterparts to either the Diamond Dogs or Garble and his pals are going to be in this as a trio of small-time crooks that Spider-Girl busts about two or three times during the summer (and twice more after summer is over) before they end up becoming test subjects for Discord and gaining super-powers to fight Spider-Girl. I'm not going to ask which trio though because I KNOW that would be spoilers.
And I'm also going to guess that Spike will eventually gain some small degree of superhuman strength (though NOT as much as Twilight), superhuman durability (at a greater level than Twilight's) and flame breath as his mutant abilities and, for some reason, I keep visualizing Flash as the grandson of Captain America (who disappeared shortly before the end of World War Two and won't resurface until at least two years after Spider-Girl's debut). Mostly because I keep visualizing Flash MAGNUS (who at least some believe to be an ancestor of Flash SENTRY) as a great Captain America Expy (especially with the indestructible shield, the trained soldier deal and the "having vanished a long time ago" deal), but acknowledge that I'm probably wrong for thinking the latter.
But, anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.
One should always have an Stan Lee cameo in a Marvel story.
10451958
Honestly being selfish doesn't really fit into Twilight's character. Revenge, on the other hand? Don't count that out just yet.
And yeah, I can't fault her reasoning either. And I'M the guy who wrote this. But fate sadly has other plans for her.
No spoilers, but yes.
10451964
I looked it up on google and it did say that some spiders are able to lift up to 170 times their body weight. So putting that into perspective, a 250 pound man with Spider-Man powers would possibly be able to lift up to 42,500 pounds, which translates into 21 and a quarter Tons.
However, in the comics and other sources, Spider-Man has actually been shown to push himself even further, lifting up objects and machines that weigh so much more. His most famous example is in The Amazing Spider-Man #31-33, AKA the story arc "If This Be My Destiny...!", where he ends up pinned under a heavy machine that according to the comic weighs roughly as much as a 1965 locomotive, putting it at roughly 130 tons, or 260,000 pounds!
Essentially, Spider-Man's strength is on a sliding metric. Depending on the situation or how far he pushes himself, the only real limit his strength has is how much stress his body can handle.
Not answering the first question, but yes she will get stronger with age and experience.
10451978
10451995
See, that's kind of the thing I noticed. The big huge freakouts that most people associate with Twilight Sparkle really only occur with the Pony version. Human Twilight has surprisingly few of these. (This'll actually be brought up later when the Human and Pony Twilights meet, and I give my best explanations as to WHY that is.)
And to be honest, in the Sam Raimi and Marc Webb films both versions of Peter Parker didn't really freak out or panic when their powers developed (nor did the original comic version come to think of it.) Honestly the only character who ever seemed to freak out when they discovered their spider powers was Miles in Into The Spider-Verse. Hell, even Flash Sentry in my other Spider-Man story didn't freak out when his powers manifested.
So it really didn't feel necessary.
10452125
I miss him too dude.
And Derpy and Dinky will be appearing again later. Trust me.
It'll be shown she's already taken care of that in the next chapter.
No comment.
10452201
Sad but true. Tragedy and superhero origins more often than not go hand in hand.
Thank you.
I tried my best with it. It honestly felt wrong to not have a Stan Lee cameo in this, since he's always gone on record and said that Spider-Man was one of his favorites.
10452358
You know I can't comment on those without giving away major spoilers. But I will say you're close to some of my future plans.
10452455
Amen.
10452535
I meant petty revenge like the kind that you wish you can give to that kid from school who keeps bullying you.
10452535
I chalk this up the fact that she has less screen time and isn't the main character.
That said I'm not saying she needs to have an epic freak out, just to react to things with more than just a casual "I guess I have superpowers now... neat". If you make a character too unflappable they just end up coming across as incredibly dull and bland which funny enough was a problem both Raimi and Webb films had (and Peter in general now that I think about it). It's also why spider-verse is so great because Miles is actually allowed to have a personality beyond quips and angst.
As for it not being a problem in your last story, it's probably because you didn't open with the origin so it was easier to overlook the lack of a personality because Flash already had interesting things happening around him to cover up how bland he was. Here all we have to focus on is Twilight so it sticks out a lot more.
10452547
I feel as if Twilight's reaction is a lot more nuanced than that. I think It's more like "Why do I have superpowers now, and what the heck am I supposed to do with them? Well, I guess I can try being a superhero. No, that's stupid! I'm not enough of a hero to be a superhero, which brings me right back to square one. Ugh!
"
10452554
Haha yeah I think its more of a writing issue, what you wrote there gives her alot more personality than in the actual story where she comes across as calm and calculated instead of like a real person or even as Twilight.
A DNA sequencer does not tell you if you have super powers.
Spider man is broken in that at a minimum he is stronger than captain America and can lift upwards of 10 tonnes with ease, when I say with ease I mean 'so broken it's not even funny'.
However I eagerly await the next chapter, regardless of my complaints.
10452561
Okay, I read over Twilight reacting to her superpowers over again, and the only differences between what I wrote and what E.D. wrote are that what I wrote had fewer words, details, and interruptions from the stuff happening outside of Twilight's head.
10452546
Oh. That makes sense.
10452547
I'd actually chalk it up to the fact that she actually went to a normal high school instead of being the personal student of Princess Celestia, as well as the fact that she didn't isolate herself in a tower with hundreds of books, and her only "friend" was Spike. Human Twilight has a relatively normal life, goes to a normal high school (well a Prep School but still) and lives with her family (presumably. We never find out if Twilight Velvet and Night Light are there in EQG canon.) So in essence, she had a normal life whilst Pony Twilight did not.
She'll get plenty of angst, trust me.
10452581
What does a normal education even look like by pony standards?
Also, Friendship is Magic did have scenes of Twilight in a relatively normal classroom environment. Granted, she didn't seem keen on interacting with the other students, and the other students seemed content with leaving her be. Then again, the educational system in our world (at least here in the States) practically forces introverted students to interact with other kids, for better or worse. If the educational system in the EG universe is anything like ours, human Twilight would be much less socially isolated than pony Twilight. 
10452620
You'd think a world that runs on positive emotions and rainbows would be more likely have an educational system that discourages academically motivated, self-imposed isolation than ours would be, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
10452578
Less is more. Lots of fanfictions tend to overexplain things instead of just letting the character's actions speak for themselves. Basically instead of stating Twilght is nervous or anxious just have her act nervous or anxious. Injecting a little personality into the dialogue can go a long way.
10452581
I would disagree, she was placed in a highly competitive school environment where her scholastic achievements only served to make her peers reject her causing her to isolate herself from others as much as possible. Pony Twilight chose to isolate herself while Human Twilight was forced into it. Pony Twi at least had Spike to keep her grounded but Human Twilight's Spike couldn't really do that.
10452596
That was kinda the point I was trying to make.
Honestly, my one friend and I had a whole PM conversation where we talked about whether or not Pony Twilight's extreme studying habits were healthy for her in the long run (I had asked about it for a plot point in my story) and he said this:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that could almost never happen in the Human World (real life or Equestria Girls) because any teacher worth their salt would see stuff like this and immediately send that student to the Guidance Counselor, who would more than likely recommend that student see a therapist. And considering that the Human Cadance seems to be the equivalent of a school Guidance Counselor (and possible legal guardian since we don't know whether or not Night Light and Twilight Velvet exist in Equestria Girls canon) she would've probably stopped it before it even happened.
Where as with Pony Twilight... Did none of her teachers, even Princess Celestia herself, see her behavior as the slightest bit troubling? Because if almost tearing apart a town because she might have one tardy assignment is "normal" in Equestria, I'm so glad I went to public school in the Human World.
10452625
Yeah, I just updated that comment. Might wanna reread that. Sorry!
10452628
umm... yes? That was kind of the whole reason she got sent to Ponyville in the first place, yeah Nightmare Moon, but also to help break her free of such unhealthy habits.
10452626
What dialogue? Twilight's reaction is basically a long series of incredibly detailed introspections punctuated by external interruptions, which by the way is pretty similar to how I would process something like this.
10452634
I think the point E.D. was trying to make is that Celestia should have picked up on this BEFORE Twilight grew into a full grown mare.
That Stan Lee cameo though.
RIP Stan, hard to believe someone who made one(if not some) of the most long-lasting franchises ever passed away.
Shining Armor gotta watch out there.
10452639
And its a really bland uninteresting way to go about doing it is all I'm saying.
But it doesn't matter because if the goal is to just get through the origin as quickly as possible I don't mind how it was handled here. I was just pointing out that it could have been better.
10452647
She was the lone ruler of Equestria I think she can be forgiven for not noticing the problem sooner. Its not uncommon for parents to be blind to their children's shortcomings after all.
People need to remember that these things are only obvious to the audience because they get emphasized for us. In real life it wouldn't be as obvious because people have their own problems to worry about.
10452634
From what we were lead to believe back in Season 1, she has been staying at the School for Gifted Unicorns since she was a filly. While we're never given an exact age, I'm just gonna guess she's... 10 years old. By the time she's moving to Ponyville she's an adult, I'm guessing in her early 20s (since again, they never give us an age.) That means there's been 10+ years AT LEAST, where she's been in classes and in front of her teachers. 10+ years of isolating herself from her peers and pushing her mind and possibly her body to their limits, just to get an A+ on all of her assignments.
So my question is, in the 10+ years (I'm guessing, so just roll with it) why hasn't Celestia, her teachers, or anypony in the school tried to do anything to break her habits? Why hasn't anypony sent her to a guidance counselor so they can explain why and how her studying habits are actually very very bad for her? Why hasn't Celestia, to name a few ideas to get her to socialize and make possible friends:
In fact the more I view this whole situation, the only person to try and break Twilight out of these habits was Spike. The adolescent dragon/little brother who's much younger than EVERYPONY at the school, actually has more common sense than them. What. The. Hell?
10452634
10452628
I just remembered something. "Celestial Guidance" mentioned that Celestia knew that Twilight's single-minded focus on book learning was becoming a huge problem for her but that she indulged Twilight for longer than she should have because she was worried of all the ways that pushing Twilight out of her comfort zone could go totally wrong or make Twilight unhappy.
(long pause)
I am suddenly realizing how totally wrong I might have been when I ruled out the possibility of Twilight have some form of autism spectrum.
I am also starting to see why a world that runs on happiness and rainbows would have so few safeguards against unhealthy obsessions.
10452654
He will be missed.
But his legend lives on forever in his stories and characters.
10452666
10452665
Because Twilight isn't the center of the universe, its not everyone else's job to police her behavior. Maybe in an ideal world this would happen but real life is rarely perfect.
10452659
She was also apparently Twilight's caretaker when she was at her school, and mentor. Which meant that she'd probably be spending a lot of time with said unicorn filly.
Last I checked, Twilight is not Celestia's daughter. (At least I hope not.)
And even if that was the case, as she grew older Celestia would've noticed and actually done something. My parents and teachers didn't notice I had Autism until I was thirteen-fifteen years old, and they called the school guidance counselor, and I got the help I needed. Try again.
Fair enough for the audience part. But teachers and guidance counselors are usually professionals who are TRAINED to see this kinda stuff. Unless her teachers and guidance counselors were really bad at their jobs, as she grew older someone would've seen something and acted on it.
10452685
They also have to deal with more than 1 kid at a time so unless the student asks for help or the problem is impossible to ignore they won't know to take action. A drop of grades is usually the first warning sign they look for and I doubt Twilight had that problem.
10452694
Okay, fair enough.
Though you'd think they'd pay extra attention to Twilight's grades, health, and mental state considering she is the personal student of Princess Celestia herself.
10452704
I mean season 1 Twilight was a bit of a bitch but she didn't come across as having any serious issues beyond that.
10452712
Then Season 2 came along, and we see she was kinda
10452671
Hey, E.D. Remember what I said about a world running on happiness and rainbows having few safeguards against unhealthy obsessions? Would it be reasonable to assume that a world like Equestria would be conducive to the development of unhealthy happiness even at the expense of healthy misery? Let me explain.
Even though I was only recently diagnosed with autism, I did spend a lot of time reading up on the subject before my diagnosis, and the one advice that stood out to me from parenting books for kids with autism is that parents should gently push their children out of their comfort zones because it forces them to learn to adapt. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm certain that getting pushed out of one's comfort zone is a very long, uncomfortable, and frustrating process (I know that's definitely true for me), especially on the short-run, but on the long run, it ends up making life more enjoyable or at least more tolerable.
The show seems to suggest that Celestia avoided doing this until it was absolutely necessary, and by that point, it became significantly harder for Twilight to learn to adapt. Thankfully, even with that major handicap, Twilight managed to learn to adapt and overcome her weaknesses. That gives me hope that maybe I can do the same.
After reading over everything I just wrote, I think I am starting to understand why so many ponies in the show seem insane.
10452722
It was true for me too, Princess. Pushing me out of my comfort zone was the equivalent of getting teeth pulled for everyone involved. But eventually I started to get the message and now life is a lot better for me.
I know you can do the same, Princess. I have faith in you.
And that's kind of my problem. Celestia knew something was going on, but chose to wait until the last minute to actually do something.. That is never a good idea. If you see something is wrong or not right, the first thing you should do is take care of it, and not debate on it.
Frankly all that does is make me think Celestia did this:
Hyperbole, but you get my point.
Honestly, and this is just my opinion here, I think there are plenty of ponies in Equestria who need to seek therapy. Pony Twilight is at the top of the list.
10452736
I think this problem of not noticing Twilight's problems is similar to what happened with how Tia didn't noticed Luna's suffering in time either(till it bit her in the flank as Nightmare Moon).
That's.. kind of terrifying in a way actually.
10452736
Now that I think about it, making foolish, often extreme decisions in the name of maintaining peace and happiness or avoiding pain and misery seems to be a recurring problem in the show. I mean, the most memorable examples that come to mind are Our Town and the kirin, but I'm sure there are more if we really look.
10452753
Which makes me really thankful that Celestia didn't start heaping Princess duties and responsiblities on Twilight right from the start. Otherwise, Midnight Sparkle could've possibly showed up in Pony Form.
10452982
I'm too scared to look.
10454587
Nightmare Moon is probably be eating popcorn while within Luna's mind and watching the chaos happen if Midnight Sparkle happened.
10454597
That's would be hilarious.