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Princess Twilight Sparkle is at the top of the world with everything she's ever wanted... So what is that sickening feeling in her chest? And why does her reflection look so horrid?
This story was written under an hour in the Quills and Sofa's Speedwriting Group, for contest 58: Pride.
Big thanks to Seer, Dawn, Wish, Snow Quill, and Bill for their prereading of the story!
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Very interesting. I wonder what happened? Why this happened? Nice work.
10399473
Oh Twilight died. Looking in her reflection, she got closer and closer to death's door, until her final gaze into herself on the crystal floor sent her through it. I'm very happy you enjoyed!
Interesting premise. I think you did pretty well with it.
10399648
Thank you!
Definitely your best piece of work to date in my opinion Ruby!
I think you nail balancing subtlety with emotional punch really well on this one. The relationship is very compelling, as is the progression of Twilight's decline and all together this makes for a very compelling read.
Really good stuff! Keep up the great work! :)
10399680
Thank you, Seer! I know you loved it when it was in the contest, and I'm glad the feeling carried over until now! I know it's a bit of a head-scratcher and the trail of its intent might be really faint, but you caught it and for that, I'm very thankful!
Whoa! What kind of mirror was Twilight looking at...and what did that collar come from?
10399473 echoes what I thought when the first scene wrapped up. The summary made me think that this was going to be about gender dysphoria and while you said 10399487 this, I can't see how my first impression holds up, regardless of the author's note. Instead, I'm much more reminded of some sort of bizarre wasting disease, though one that would be magical in nature here.
10400255
In truth, the allegory's really faint. This can make the story either hit really hard or whiff and be pretentious because of that. However, the meaning behind it was this Even if you have everything in the world that you could want, it won't stop underlying problems with yourself, like gender dysphoria for instance, from taking control once again. That even if you're at the top of the world, that your mental illness can claw at you, and wrap these claws around you and drag you back down. In Twilight's case, lethally so. Every time she looked at her image, it got worse, and in this way, can be like dysphoria without treatment, or depression without treatment either, and how the world sort of greys when looking at it through the lens of either. Now if that was like, "Oh, but you could've said that more clearly." I would agree 1000%, but I wrote it in an hour, so these sort of underdevelopments are natural. It was so well received at the contest (getting 3 1st place votes, the most of the votes), and my peers told me it was incredible, so I just put it up without anything more.
Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it, and I'm very grateful you read it!
10400886
Well, I did enjoy it enough to upvote. The allegory does make more sense now. I just think that expanding the fimfic version would have definitely improved it, since even though it’s well written it does feel incomplete.
I know thar Twilight died at the end of the story, but I feel like there's still room for a sequel to be written, somehow. Perhaps she wakes up in hospital with the shackles on her legs and the ring around her neck connected to a computer to register her vitals or something, then she and the doctors have to work out what happened. It would be an interesting way to expand on the existing story. Even if you don't write a sequel, though, it's an interesting little tale.
Not gonna lie, at first I thought that this was about abuse, because AJ didn't take Twilight serious, but after reading your comments, what you said makes more sense