Confession
The party went on past lunchtime and well into the afternoon. A crystal pony who I assumed was one of the servants dropped by a few times with trays of fresh food for the ponies and even some gems for Spike, and Pinkie produced a few games and a photo camera from somewhere. I got to know the girls a little better; they turned out to be everything I’d imagined them to be and so much more, and apparently they liked me too, just like Spike had promised! Though none of them had verbalized their willingness to allow me to feed on them, they had shared plenty of love with me through hugs and games and singing, and, for the first time in my life, I was completely sated!
I had said it before, but looking at my new friends, I couldn’t stress it enough: this was a dream come true!
If only other changelings could see it that way…
Unfortunately, that was too much to hope for. Though a sporadic individual drone might be willing to consider the benefits of sharing love over stealing it, I doubted that there would be more than a hoofful of them, and they wouldn’t be likely to dare to attempt it lest they suffer the backlash of the rest of the hive. No doubt would the punishment promised to me for doing what I’d done serve as an additional discouragement to any drones who might otherwise be willing to try a different approach to feeding!
Could I have sought out any such changelings while still in the hive and gotten them to escape with me? No, I realized. I’d spent plenty of time trying to make friends there; had there been any willing to try friendship, I would have found them, or they would have heard about me and sought me out! But what if someling had wanted friends but hadn’t dared to admit it? There had to be some way to reach out to them! Had I tried hard enough?
And what about Chrysalis? I knew that hoping for forgiveness from her was futile, but what if I could prove the strength of shared love to her? Would she realize her mistake if she knew that the love of friendship could feed the whole hive many times over? Would she reconsider her stance, for the hive’s sake if not for my own?
Probably not. I’d had more than my fair share of contact with her when receiving punishment for whatever I’d done wrong at some point. I still remembered the bloodthirsty glint in her eyes and her sneer of pleasure and deranged laughter whenever I’d cry out in pain, the sight of venom she would drool unaware and let drip into pools of my blood on the floor, her satisfied chitter as Pharynx or whichever other nearby drone would drag my broken, half-unconscious body away… The wounds had healed, the pain had stopped, but the memories of how she’d enjoyed watching me suffer… they weren’t going to fade so easily!
No, I reminded myself, I could never expect Chrysalis to accept the way of sharing love, even if every single drone in the world did! She would sooner annihilate the entirety of our kind than accept friendship!
I took some comfort in knowing that her days of torturing me were over; I was safe here, surrounded by friends and protected by the Princess of Love. If there was still hope for me to fully heal and recover from my old life, it would happen here! But what if Chrysalis found me one day? Would Cadance and Shining Armor’s power be enough to shield me from her? Would my friends be able to save me? Would I have made a difference to anypony or anyling by then?
“Why the long face, sugarcube?” Applejack’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Yeah, don’t be such a party-pooper!” Pinkie joined in. “C’mon, let’s turn that frown upside-down!”
“Thanks, Pinkie, I appreciate your effort, I really do! It’s just…”
“Yes?”
I sighed. “Seeing all this-” I gestured to the cakes and balloons, and the flowers, and the crystal ponies out in the streets, “-I couldn’t help but think how wonderful ponies’ lives are, and how I wish I could have had even a tiny fraction of it… before…”
“No problemo! We just have to party extra hard to make it up for what you’ve missed!”
“Hey, why don’t you come visit us in Ponyville sometime?” Spike interjected.
“I’d like that too,” Starlight told him, “but would it be safe? I don’t want to force Thorax to be in disguise for the entire duration of his visit, but I can’t promise that Ponyville would welcome a friendly changeling even with all of us vouching for him!”
“Then we’ll have to make them understand!” Rainbow exclaimed. “Who’s up for the challenge?”
“Ooh! Me! Me! Mememememememe!” Pinke accepted, waving her hooves around. “Count me in! Let’s find Thorax some friends!”
“An’ a mighty challenge that’ll be,” Applejack shrugged, then smiled. “Boy, we’ll have our work cut out for us! An’ burst mah pumpkins if Ah can’t handle hard work!”
“Why, of course, dear!” Rarity agreed. “We’ll make sure that you get the most fabulous welcome that you’ll never forget!”
“I hope you don’t mind staying here in the meantime?” Fluttershy asked. “I’d hate to make you think we don’t want you there!”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I reassured her. “I’ll need some time to get used to being around ponies anyway!”
“Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t visit Ponyville in disguise at any time if you feel like it!” Spike added.
“Then it’s settled,” Twilight said. “Thorax, we’ll do everything we can to make Ponyville a safe haven for you!”
Tears of joy seeping from my eyes spoke more than words ever could, and so did my excited leaping… good thing that Starlight had been quick with her magic to grab a sculpture I’d accidentally collided with and tipped over! It would have broken for sure!
Soon it was time for them to return to Ponyville. Twilight went to say goodbye to the Prince and Princess and their filly, and Starlight caught Sunburst with a few parting words on the way out of the castle.
I was about to say goodbye too when Spike came up with an idea.
“Want to escort us to the train station?” he asked.
“Sure… if it’s okay with everypony else.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t want to intrude-”
“Nonsense! You’re our friend! And haven’t we just promised to you that you’ll always be welcome among us?”
I couldn’t deny that.
“Oh, and Cadance has informed her subjects about you,” Twilight added. “You can go out in public undisguised and nothing will happen to you!”
“And if somepony does give you trouble, you don’t have to put up with it!” Spike said. “Cadance and Shining Armor will protect you!”
“I’m not so sure about Shining Armor,” I said. “He still doesn’t seem to trust me.”
“Okay, it might take him a little to warm up to you, but I’m sure he’ll get there. But you can trust Cadance!”
“And Sunburst!” Starlight added.
“And if nothing else works, come to us and we’ll sort it out!” Rainbow offered.
“I’ll try to not let it come to that,” I said, “but thanks!”
“WAIT!” Pinkie exclaimed. “We didn’t even take a group photo!”
The others agreed and gathered up in front of the heart-shaped relic under the castle, putting me in the middle to pose with them. Twilight went to get Cadance and Shining Armor, and though the prince had apparently and unsurprisingly excused himself from the ordeal, the Princesses were back with Sunburst and little Flurry in tow. Pinkie halted a random crystal pony passing by to snap the photo so no one from our group would have to be excluded from it. Cadance and Sunburst then said goodbye to the girls again and took Flurry back inside, and I escorted the ponies and Spike to the train station. It was located on the outskirts of the city, but the walk there turned out to be shorter than I’d expected. Had I simply lost track of time in the company of my friends? It was such a pleasure to be around them!
I’d taken Twilight’s advice and gone into the streets in my own form. As she’d claimed, nopony caused a scene because of a changeling among them, which was a relief as much as it was strange to be undisguised in public without getting chased or having things thrown at me. But, as I’d expected, it was still a long way from being welcome: some ponies flinched at the sight of me, some openly stared, some mumbled to themselves or whispered to whoever stood near them… pretty much the same responses to my presence this morning in the castle. Obviously the ponies didn’t like me, they didn’t want me here, they might have even wondered why I’d been allowed to stay, but at least they seemed to trust the Princess enough to keep their objections to themselves. Were they simply afraid of punishment? No, I scolded myself, this wasn’t the hive; Princess Cadance wouldn’t exact the kind of punishment I was painfully familiar with, the kind of punishment to be truly feared! She would go for something much milder if she couldn’t think of another option!
Shining Armor, though…
He would be stricter than his wife - a military leader such as himself would have to be - and I had no doubt that his disciplinary methods would be felt, at varying degrees depending on the severity of the transgression maybe, but somehow I still found it hard to imagine that he would reach Chrysalis’ levels of delivering pain. Maybe, if he were really furious, he would get to what might be considered a mild punishment by hive standards…
Either way, I didn’t want to find out.
But we were almost at the train station by now, and my attention was returning to my friends. They were still talking cheerfully, and none of them was showing signs of having noticed that I’d gone silent. Maybe they assumed that I preferred to say little? I’d noticed that Fluttershy rarely spoke, and even when she did, she avoided raising her voice even when the others would fail to notice her. Was I getting the same treatment? Not that I had a problem with it; it was way better than getting mocked or beaten up, and anyway, I didn’t feel the need to be the center of attention like Pinkie or Rainbow! Not that there was anything wrong with being the center of attention, if that was what they liked.
“Oh! Almost forgot!” Spike exclaimed when we stepped onto the platform. “I didn’t give you our addresses!”
“Addresses?”
“You know, the thing you write on the envelope of a letter?”
“Right, sorry! I’m just… overwhelmed, I guess… with all the new things I saw in these couple of days… I’m not normally this stupid… well, I hope I’m not…”
“Hey, it’s alright! It’s a lot to take in all at once! You’ll get the hang of it!” He took a pencil and a piece of parchment from his backpack and started writing.
I waited patiently for him to finish. Behind him, Twilight and Starlight were discussing something, Fluttershy way playing with a small sheep that had wandered onto the platform, and Applejack stood there and watched, then turned to me and snickered.
“...and there, finished!” Spike offered the parchment to me, attempting to stifle a chuckle of his own.
“Thanks,” I said accepting the parchment and wondering what was so funny, when movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. “Um, what are you doing?”
Rarity flinched and withdrew a yellowish ribbon - no, what was it called? Measuring tape?
Rainbow burst into laughter.
“My sincere condolences, Thorax,” she said, not really trying to compose herself. “You’re about to be cursed with a fifty-seven-hours-long fitting session!”
“...what?”
“You can’t rush perfection, Rainbow!” Rarity protested. “Don’t listen to her, Thorax, dear, I think you’ll look positively dashing in a tuxedo!”
I tilted my head. Why would I need a tuxedo? What was a tuxedo, anyway?
“An’ whaddya think he’ll pay ya with?” Applejack joined in. “Ah reckon he ain’t got no money!”
Ya reckon right, Applejack, I thought.
“Pfft! It would be a gift!” Rarity pouted.
“Ooh, just like the dresses you made for our first Gala,” Fluttershy said. “I’m sure whatever you make for Thorax will be just as lovely!”
Dresses? Oh, right! Rarity had mentioned her dressmaking business!
“So, a tuxedo is a clothing item, right?” I asked. “You don’t have to do that, Rarity! I couldn’t ask that of you! I appreciate the gesture, but really, it’s too much!”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” she smiled. “You make it sound like a dreadful chore, but making new designs is what I live for! Though, I’ve never made an outfit for a changeling before - not counting Chrysalis’ wedding dress, of course, but she was disguised at the time and I thought I was making it for Cadance - so it might take a teeniest tiniest bit longer than usual because I’ll have to adjust the pattern… I do hope that won’t be a problem?”
“I’m not going to talk you out of it, am I?”
“Of course you won’t! My mind is made up!”
I sighed. “I don’t want to be a burden, but if you insist…”
“It’s settled then! I’m going to make you something and I just know you’re going to love it!”
The train arrived, and the ponies and Spike got on board. They waved me goodbye, I waved back, and when they were out of sight, I flew back to the castle. I didn’t want to take the streets yet. Someday, hopefully soon, I would, but I wasn’t yet comfortable with facing the ponies undisguised on my own. A disguise would have helped, but I’d already decided to resort to it as little as possible now that I was allowed to be here.
I landed at the base of the castle and went inside. Shining Armor was waiting in the hallway at the top of the stairs, fully armored up.
“I was wondering when you’d come back,” he said sternly. “Ready to talk now?”
Talk? I was momentarily confused, but then I remembered that he’d expressed the intention to discuss something with me immediately after Princess Cadance had accepted me as her subject.
“Yes,” I said. “What about?”
“Come,” he commanded, ignoring my question.
He led me down a series of hallways to a part of the castle I hadn’t been in before. No servants were here, only a few Royal Guards patrolling about, and a pair of them guarding one of the doors. Shining approached the said door, opened it, and motioned me to get in.
I did. He followed and closed the door behind us.
There were shelves and cabinets along the walls of the room, except where the window was. The shelves were filled with books and scrolls, but I noticed a few other objects here and there as well, such as old helmets and spearheads. A crest shaped like Shining’s cutie mark decorated the far wall, and a few spears and halberds were positioned at each side of it. A desk stood in the middle of the room, with quills, a stack of parchment, a small flag, and a statuette of what I took to be a distinguished military figure on top of it. One big chair was behind the desk, and two smaller ones were on the side.
This had to be Shining Armor’s headquarters! Office? Base of operations? What was the correct term?
“Sit,” he barked, placing one of the smaller chairs directly across the table from the big one, then marched around and sat in the said big chair.
I obeyed cautiously. What was he going to do now? Issue orders, presumably, but would that be all? Would he question me about my intentions too? It made sense that he would! Would he be satisfied with my answers?
Uh-oh. Was he planning to force answers out of me? I intended to give him the full truth either way, but would he believe me? Had I underestimated him before? Would he press on with everything he had until he forced me to tell whatever he wanted to hear, no matter how false in reality, because I would be in so much pain by then that I wouldn’t care what I said as long as saying it would allow me to catch a break?
Suddenly I realized that I half expected chains to sprout from my chair and grip me firmly in place, subdued at the Captain’s mercy to do to me whatever he wanted; but nothing happened. It still could, though! And I had no doubt that his repertoire of spells was well up to the task of dealing with whatever he believed I might do!
He stared at me in an uncomfortable silence. I cowered a little. Bit my lip. Let out a whimper. Looked at him pleadingly while trying not to look at him at all, lest I look at him the wrong way. Shivered.
“So,” he finally spoke, the tone of his voice about as warm as my brother’s had been when he learned I’d been expelled from military training. “‘Thorax’, right? You stated that as your name?”
“Yes,” I replied. How I had managed to utter a coherent sound at that moment, I would never know!
“What is your business here?”
“I came here looking for friendship-”
“You said that already! Why are you really here?”
“It’s the truth! I have no foul intentions if that’s what you’re thinking!”
“Suppose you are telling the truth, why the Crystal Empire? Why not somewhere else?”
“Because this is where I ended up… I have been attempting to make friends throughout Equestria, but something always happened that forced me to leave the town I was in and try my luck in the next one!”
“And I’m supposed to believe that you couldn’t find a single friend in the whole vast kingdom of Equestria and then just happened to stumble upon one in the out-of-the-way place governed by the very couple whose wedding your armies disrupted not that long ago?”
I didn’t know what to tell him. As unlikely as it sounded, that was the whole truth, but how would I get him to believe it?
“What’s Chrysalis planning this time?” He rose onto his hooves and got in my face. I flinched.
“I don’t know!” I squeaked.
“But she is planning something!”
“She…” I braced myself for whatever was coming. “She might be…”
“Spill it!”
“I don’t know any details! I just overheard a group of changelings discuss her orders to regroup and prepare for a new mission! But it was vague, and I got the impression that even the leader of that group didn’t know what this new mission was!”
“Where was this? In the hive?”
“No, in a cave in the wastelands north of Manehattan and some other big city…”
“When?”
“I don’t know! It was some time before I came here, but how long, I couldn’t tell for sure! But I don’t think you’ll find them there anymore… they mentioned something about going elsewhere to rendezvous with other soldiers - I forgot where exactly - and that might not have even been the final destination-”
“Is there anything useful you know about that?”
“Um… nothing I can think of right now…”
He subjected me to another glare that could melt rocks.
“Please believe me…” I whispered, unsure that it wouldn’t only make things worse for me.
“Fine,” he snorted after a moment. “What do you know about the incidents in Canterlot and Manehattan?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re saying that you don’t know that a changeling was revealed and chased in Canterlot a little less than a year ago and that a whole network of infiltrators was exposed and cleaned up in Manehattan?”
“Well, that changeling in Canterlot was me-”
“Lies! He was captured and is refusing to talk! What were his orders?”
So Rascal was still alive, apparently. I was somewhat relieved for not having sent him to his death - though that could still happen, especially if Chrysalis’ soldiers got to him - but also glad that it hadn’t been me.
“You misunderstood. I was revealed in Canterlot, I was chased through the city, and I fell down the cliff, but Rascal was one of the changelings sent to kill me or to drag me to the hive to get punished for leaving, and the only reason why I survived the subsequent encounter with him is because I managed to bite him and my venom rendered him unconscious. I was even hiding in a nearby bush when the Royal Guards collected him.”
“Then how do you explain his injuries?”
“Timberwolf attack the day before. I was there too, and I’m pretty sure the rest of Rascal’s team got eaten.”
“But you survived,” he sneered. “Lucky you.”
“I got thrown into a ravine and managed to escape with only minor injuries.”
“Hm. It could have happened, I’ll give you that much, even if it does sound unlikely,” he shrugged. “What about Manehattan?”
“The infiltrators? I know there are a lot of them throughout the world, not just Equestria, but I can’t give you any names or locations. I’ve never had a clearance level high enough to know such things.”
“But you do know that infiltrators exist.”
“The whole hive knows. It’s not a secret that we do it, but not everyling knows the specific details. I assume it’s similar with your Royal Guard: an average pony would know that they exist, but not which guard is stationed where and under what orders, maybe not even if the said average pony is a relative of a Royal Guard member. It does work like that, doesn’t it?”
“And why would I tell you?”
“No reason at all!” I squeaked again. “Forget I asked!”
He frowned.
“Okay, so you were in Canterlot and on the East Neighagaran Plateau, possibly near Starlight’s old village. Where else?”
I proceeded to recount the events from my journey and the places I’d visited: buffalo territory, Braeburn’s town, which I knew now was called Appleloosa, the Everfree Forest, Ponyville, Manehattan. Shining interrupted me every now and then, requesting details and clarifications, making occasional comments, and writing things down on a piece of parchment. His distrust of me was still obvious, but, much to my relief, he never resorted to inflicting pain, and hardly even raised his voice for a long while. If I didn’t know what I would have to tell him soon, I’d probably think I was winning him over - not quite there completely, but probably on the right path!
But I had yet to confess to a horrible act I’d committed, which was bound to undo all the progress I might have made in my favor in his eyes, and there was no escaping it.
“You don’t know the name of that place?” he asked when I got to the relevant part of my tale.
“I’m afraid not,” I said. “I wish I did, though…”
He raised an eyebrow. I took a deep breath. Here goes…
“I didn’t stay there long enough to find out.” I sighed and hung my head. “I have a confession to make, and you’re going to hate me.”
“As if I don’t hate you already?”
Fair enough. “I was so hungry by then that I didn’t know what I was doing… A mare was walking in the street, and I… I…”
“You what?” he asked impatiently.
“I lost control… I attacked her and fed on her… I didn’t want to, but-”
He wasn’t listening anymore. He blasted me off the chair, and before I knew it, he was on top of me, horn at the ready to deliver the worst of Tartarus on me, and the look in his scowling eyes was not far behind.
“You fed on an innocent pony?” he roared.
“I wish I hadn’t - I stopped myself as soon as I realized what I was doing - got out of there - wanted to punish myself-”
I might as well have told him that I’d killed Chrysalis; he didn’t seem to care. He blasted me again, and this time it was as painful as the worst of Chrysalis’ torture spells! I cried out, knowing fully well that I deserved it and so much worse, and he kept the spell going for what seemed like forever, for as long as there was breath in me to keep screaming.
I’d expected to faint from that blast, if not die, but it had barely stunned me. It had, however, left me gasping for breath while Shining, still standing over me, opened a drawer and took shackles from it. He wasted no time in chaining me up, then he levitated me, wrapped a loop of the chains around my wings, and stormed out of the room with me in his magical grip while I was still trying to recover from the painful ordeal.
He marched through the castle hallways and then through the streets, not caring about the gasps and stares that the puny changeling in his tow drew from nearby ponies. I looked around dejectedly; how was I supposed to earn their trust after this? Would I ever?
Eventually we arrived at a building on the outer limits of the city. It wasn’t labelled, and the style of architecture matched that of the other buildings here, but the thick bars on every window and the abundance of guards were all I needed to figure out its purpose.
A guard opened the doors as soon as he saw us, and Shining gave him a curt nod and proceeded downstairs. There, he threw me into an empty cell, locked me in, and cast a spell on the bars. A guard approached in the meantime.
“He assaulted and drained a pony,” Shining told him, “admitted to skulking around throughout Equestria, including Canterlot, Ponyville, and Manehattan, and he’s wanted in Appleloosa under charges of apple theft.”
“Understood, Sir!” the guard saluted.
I wanted to say something, to explain myself, to deny those accusations, but it wouldn’t have done me any good. Shining had already left, and the guard didn’t look like he would be willing to hear me out, let alone believe my side of the story.
I tried to touch the bars, wanting to lean on them and let out a defeated sigh even though I knew it would hardly make me feel any better. I tried to touch the bars, but as soon as my hoof got close to them, a magical surge blasted me once again, this time coming from the bars themselves.
I yelped as the surge hit me and launched me into the far wall. I was momentarily stunned, and then I tried to get up from the floor. The world was spinning, and the chains around my legs weren’t making it any easier to stand up.
The guard was laughing.
“Oh, that was good,” he said. “I heard about that spell from the guards who work in prisons that get changelings regularly, but I’ve never seen it myself! And those must be the shackles that fry you if you attempt anything funny, too! They said these two things keeps you pests in check better than anything else they’ve ever tried, and now I can see why!” He motioned with his wing. “C’mon, do it again! Or at least try shapeshifting!”
No thanks, I thought; I’d been blasted plenty enough times today already! I didn’t think that he really expected me to obey, and either way, he got serious again pretty quickly. I wondered again if there was a point in trying to talk to him, but decided against it. And what was I going to say, anyway? That I was innocent? He had to have heard that story from most, if not all, prisoners who had ever had the honor of spending some of their time here! Besides, I wasn’t innocent, and I had no right to claim otherwise!
I just wished that somepony would still be willing to befriend me despite knowing the horrors I’d committed, but didn’t think there was a chance for that anymore.
Crestfallen, I slumped down onto the cold floor of my prison cell.
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Aww, poor Thorax...Shining how could you?! If you were starving and resorted to stealing food from a marketplace, would you expect to be chained and thrown into a castle dungeon?!
Invest in some burn cream Shinning cause your sorry flank's gonna need it when Twilight & Spike find out what you just did, especially Spike!
Oh man Things just escalated really quickly in the end Anyway in the beginning of the chapter it looks like everybody was enjoying thorax company Which that's pretty awesome and the main 6 and spike Will back him up if anything happens to him and Try to convince everybody that he is no threat but when They left As I said before things went down quickly shining armor was asking him questions about his quest and thorax even confessed of draining the love from that mysterious pony from Manehattan And I get it hes mad But it was a little too extreme what he did to him But I guess thorax Should have seen this coming Because it was his fault and he felt like he deserve it Can he get out of this situation I guess we'll find out next time
10445030
true But unfortunately it was a pony not an object but I really hope They will Find a way to forgive him somehow I really felt bad for him 😔
10445090
Yeah, I do feel really bad for him...poor Thorax, my heart is breaking for the little guy...
10445044
I know right not cool shining armor
10445092
Mine too 😭
10445103
Yeah...
Shining is gonna be sleeping on the couch for a long time if not worse when Cadence finds out! I'm surprised he even bothered saving Shining during the next story.
Hahaha whahuhuhut? HahahahaHahahaha
Shining must never want sex agene as Cadance is going to lop off his balls for this one.
I hope Cadance bites him in half. I know that it is somewhat different from the episode, where Shining straight up accepted him. It's a step too far in the "right" direction in the wrong again.
And now all I’m imagining Thorax in a dress. I doubt gender and gender roles are much of a concern to Changelings, anyway.