• Member Since 12th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Impossible Numbers


"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."

T

Toola Roola is a special pony, just like everypony else. She's learned that fighting with your friends doesn't mean you have to stop being friends. It just means you should let them win sometimes, otherwise it looks suspicious.

She didn't learn that from her parents, who have no time for her except by appointment. She didn't learn that from her best friend, who has too much time for her and spends most of it fighting anyway.

And she especially didn't learn that from her ancestral homeland: the distant, enchanted land of Skyra, whence her oddball uncle cometh, but which - in her entire life - she has never, ever seen for herself.

No, she learned it from a book. Princess Twilight SparkleTM's Journal of FriendshipTM, only $12.99 at your local tree-made, cloud-made, or conventionally built magical bookshop! Buy your way to a meaningfulTM, satisfyingTM relationshipTM now, whileTM stocksTM lastTM!TM

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

I promise to read this later, but I cannot resist mentioning that the title makes me think of this:

10399962

Huh. I didn't even think of that connection, and I've heard that song before. Good catch.

In this particular case, my actual inspiration was... nah, it'll be more fun to see if someone else gets it.

10399970
Ooh, then I'll keep away from the comments section until I read it to see if I can figure it out myself! :pinkiehappy:

Thumbs up for just the first paragraph of the description alone! :pinkiehappy:

Dont why i read it, but im glad i did. They way you wrote toola roola perspective is interesting in keeping things vague about certain things and open about others. I also liked how you used their daily schedules as a way to orient the reader into their normal life.

Problems, like paper-pushing ponies, got buried. The bigger the problem, the bigger the burial. Eventually, it’d muffle the screaming completely.

Alas, before the Guard had the chance to ask him for more specific landmarks, Leaper Con had – unwisely, as it turned out – tried to escape prison by flushing himself down the toilet. Like the late Leaper Con, the trail thereafter went cold. Unlike him, it did not make distressing bubbling noises as it did so.

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This was really sweet! Great job ^^ I wasn't QUITE sure how she managed to put out so many books in 'just a few days' but overall, it was sweet and fun.

Fun story. But I must raise an objection: Stephen is the fabulous sea serpent, not the sorrowful, alliteration be damned.

:rainbowderp: Wowsa... I wasn't expecting this to garner much interest, much less to get featured at all.

Thanks for all the comments, everyone, and I'm chuffed to think you all enjoyed it so much (especially given I wasn't exactly sure how it would go down, and certainly wasn't expecting this turnout for two very obscure characters).

Anyway, more individualized responses below, but that previous para captures the gist of my reaction.

10400227

Ha ha, oh me, it comes to something when you're getting props just for the opening paragraph... "and then there was some stuff after it, but that first paragraph! Wow!"

Now I'm waiting to get so good, someone will praise my choice of first word. And after that, the craftsmanship of my exquisitely perfect first letter. :rainbowwild:

10401249

Helping with keeping certain things vague was Uncle Gadda's characterization. I figured pretty early on that he was going to be one of those winking types where you're never sure if he's telling the truth or if he's just messing with you for the heck of it. That idea just struck an amused chord with me somehow.

10401257

And those were the dark jokes I let in. You wouldn't want to see what ended up on the cutting room floor. :pinkiecrazy:

10401327

Fair enough about the days thing. I was going for deliberately ridiculous there, but the fic is still largely grounded otherwise and I think that's overdoing it, so I've amended it to "weeks" and thrown in a paragraph about how they're all actually essentially the same book with tweaks (and still making tons of money for all that, because I am a keen observer of modern capitalism). :trollestia:

10401582

But I must raise an objection: Stephen is the fabulous sea serpent, not the sorrowful, alliteration be damned.

But the reason why he's sorrowful is because hardly anyone notices.

10402525
I actually forgot one.

It was going to be, in his own words, an existentialist fantasy of a runaway unicorn princess, searching for more unicorn princesses of her kind, then forcibly turned into an earth pony in order to escape the pegasus-led rebellion, the Ginger Ox faction, whereupon she would dwell on the horrors of not being able to cast magic anymore, and eventually would forget she ever could.

I know it's a reference, but still.
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10402525
Nice, so they basically invented a friendship version of Chicken Soup For The Soul XD I like it!

Sleeping with a nightlight is not needed, because shadowy evil monsters aren’t real and never have been.

Except the ones that absolutely are that the Princess of the Night created to punish herself. (On a related note, don't do that.)

And if she wasn’t prepared, the world of banking would eat ponies like her alive.

I wonder if they even notice the assumption there.

These days, anyone wanting to make it big would just go to Equestria before penning anything. Especially the crude political satirists, because Princess Celestia often sponsored them handsomely, and even gave them tips.

Headcanon wholly accepted. Celestia adores anypony who can look her in the eye without averting their own and begging forgiveness.

...and evil-yet-well-intentioned masterminds were foiled so often by the high command that they had their own Special Anti-villain Service.
This was news to Toola Roola.

Silly filly. Who does she think wrote the Friendship Journal?

There's something perfectly pony about IEDs made with Diet Coke and Mentos.

Coconut Cream said it was delicious but strangely slimy. What was in it?
Toola Roola said protein.

Now that's friendship.

Toola Roola considered inviting her to do some fishing after school, but then remembered fishing had been made illegal in Ponyville waters by one of Fluttershy’s local campaigns.

Hypocrite.

And the ultimate takeaway... :rainbowlaugh: To be fair, merchandising is the ultimate goal of the Journal of Friendship as well. Magnificent, heartfelt work from front to back. Thank you for it.

10404707

Except the ones that absolutely are that the Princess of the Night created to punish herself. (On a related note, don't do that.)

Alternatively:

"Kids! Don't try to bring eternal night into your home! Possible side effects include drowsiness, eye strain, loss of food supply, and eventual species extinction. (Always consult a doctor before attempting any nocturnal activities)."

Headcanon wholly accepted. Celestia adores anypony who can look her in the eye without averting their own and begging forgiveness.

I've always liked the idea that, of the two royal sisters, Celestia enjoys poking fun at herself the most often. There's the serious reason (it stops her getting too uptight, self-important, and possibly narcissistic over a thousand-year-rule) and the silly reason (she was born a prankster and reacts to having responsibility thrust upon her with absolutely no change to her core).

Silly filly. Who does she think wrote the Friendship Journal?

That's the Special Not-Really-A-Villain-If-You-Say-Sorry-Hard-Enough Services. It's like the difference between detention and remedial class: you're singled out and kept back out of normal time either way, but one of them's more because you're dumb than because you're bad. :trollestia:

There's something perfectly pony about IEDs made with Diet Coke and Mentos.

It was originally more genuinely threatening explosives, but I felt that wasn't striking the right tone and so changed it to something sillier. In general, I was all for the occasional dark joke to spice things up, but balancing the silly and the serious was an ongoing concern when I wrote this. Plus, it just wasn't as funny the other way.

Hypocrite.

I generally interpret that as a case of "Early Instalment Weirdness" (or else tofu fish, or something). If Fluttershy can later befriend Fuzzy Legs the spider - an invertebrate - then she can definitely befriend fish.

Then again, I can't talk, given what I do to the poor things in this fic.

And the ultimate takeaway... :rainbowlaugh:

Once Equestria was revealed as a capitalist society, there was no going back. :pinkiecrazy:

Incidentally, I really like 10402897's description of it as "a friendship version of Chicken Soup For The Soul". :rainbowlaugh:

Always a pleasure to see you again, FanOfMostEverything, and thanks for the lovely (and entertaining) response! A comment from you is like an official stamp of approval. May we cross paths again in the not-too-distant future.

Moved this from the "Everyone" ranking to the "Teen" ranking. I have been reminded that "Everyone", by the site's definition, requires a fic to contain only the kind of material suitable for the show. Some of the material used in this fic is heavier than that, so I'll acknowledge that and re-tag this one accordingly.

Delightful! :pinkiehappy:

IDK why I ended up putting this off for so long- I know you write amazing stories, and yet...
Well done, well done! This was labelled a comedy, and it was certainly funny, but it was also genuinely heartwarming!
Bravo!

10654751

Pleased to hear it. :twilightsmile: Looking back, this one definitely skewed away from the show's tone and style (some of the comedy is downright dark), so it was interesting to see if certain scenes would land regardless. Thank you for the encouraging comment! :scootangel:

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