You can’t always say what you want. You especially can’t once they’re gone. That’s how I view it, anyways.
But for now, it’s bye. Not a good one, though.
Chapters (1)
BootyPopperzZz
Joined 18th Apr, 2016 ·
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Sometimes we don't do things we want to do, so that others won't know we want to do them.
-Ivy, from "The Village"
That was pretty good! I liked it. Most stories have a hard time keeping a certain atmosphere through the whole story without wavering. This one kept the atmosphere so well I could feel the bitterness of the story.
Short and punchy in a way that is very effective, even though I'd admittedly want to know more about the characters. The sense of atmosphere and voice you craft for this character and his internal thoughts are the strongest part of the story.
11325164
I had originally given the characters names, and backstories as well, but ultimately I removed them from the story. The reason being that this story is actually rather personal to me, so, I wanted it written in a way that is ambiguous, or maybe relatable. I wrote this story after I had gotten back from that funeral, but it originally started off as a blog post, then a video for my channel, and finally I realized I really expressed the emotions I was feeling best through a story, like this. Flat out telling it didn’t have the same effect on the person listening either. I decided that this story was more for me, with the main character being, well, me, the Brother being my brother, and the deceased being my dad’s side grandmother, even though it was never explicitly stated in the story.
It’s a poor excuse to not flesh out what could have been characters in another story, or to expand with flashbacks and whatnot. In a weird way I do get satisfaction out of coming back and reading this, and feeling like I’m speaking to someone who was there. It’s oddly cathartic for something negative that happened in the past.
11325539
Those are pretty solid reasons and I think a more detailed version would have diverged more to being a separate story entirely than just a different draft. Either way they are good and you should write more.
11326024
I have been writing still, though it’s either A. Not something I have been happy enough with to put out, or B. It’s not pony related for the site. Though I do want to put some stuff out here. WFH has enabled me to just write in between making money and get more practice in.
11326215
I'll certainly be quick to jump if you do post anything here.