"What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!"

by Strawberry Sunrise

Restaurant Rendezvous

Now that Twilight wasn’t quite so tired, she was able to teleport again, and reached Ponyville in an instant. She went to the restaurant that she had dreamed about and ordered three hayburgers. She handed the money to the cashier, who said, “Sorry, you’re three bits short.” He handed her two hayburgers instead.

“But I’m sure I had enough money,” Twilight said. “I was going to buy six theatre tickets yesterday and I was only three bits short then. There’s no way three hayburgers cost as much as six theatre tickets.”

The cashier pointed at a sign, which said that hayburgers were now ten times as expensive as normal because hay was in short supply. Twilight sighed and took the two hayburgers and her change. Apparently her dream had not been prophetic. She ate the hayburgers sadly, then watched as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon entered the restaurant.

“Hey, you gave me that stupid book!” Diamond Tiara said. “You tricked me!”

“What?” Twilight said. “You must be thinking of somepony else.”

“No, it was definitely you who gave me the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson,” Diamond Tiara said. “I opened it to read it, but it said nothing but ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and nothing else in the entire book. Now I will never read anything you recommend to me ever again!”

“I’m sorry!” Twilight said. “Please give me another chance. I just needed the rope from you so that I could save Scootaloo!”

“Scootaloo was in trouble?” Silver Spoon asked. Though nopony else knew it, she secretly had a crush on Scootaloo. She was sad to hear that she had been in trouble. “Did you save her?”

“Yes,” Twilight said. “Er…well, no, actually, no, I didn’t. The other Cutie Mark Crusaders had already saved her first.”

“So you didn’t even need the rope?” Diamond Tiara said. “I want it back!”

“But I thought it was Applejack’s?” Twilight said.

“Oh, yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “Anyway, I threw that copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson into a well,” she said.

“That was you?” Twilight asked. She now realized that the copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson that the Diamond Dogs had given her and that she had back at the castle was in fact the same copy that she had started out with in the first place. Maybe the misprints might not be quite so widespread after all.

“Yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “It was bad.” Then she sighed. “I’m still mad that you tricked me, but you’ve given me good recommendations in the past. I guess I’ll give you another chance. Any good books that you know of?” She brushed her front hoof in front of her in a bashful way.

“Oh, well, let me think,” Twilight said. She raised her right hoof to her face in thought. Her left hoof still held her non-misprinted copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson.

While Twilight was thinking, Silver Spoon asked, “Can I see that book?”

“Um…okay,” Twilight asked. “But it just says ‘Sucker!’ on every page.” Silver Spoon took the book and looked. It did indeed say ‘Sucker!’ on every page, just as it had the night before. She gave it back.

“Have you considered ‘A History of Royals’ by Stalwart Prince?” Twilight asked Diamond Tiara.

“No, I hadn’t even thought of reading that book!” Diamond Tiara said. “I had never even heard of it before.”

“Well, I have a copy at the castle library,” Twilight said. “I could get it for you if you want.”

“Sure!” Diamond Tiara said. “It sounds like a good one.”

Twilight teleported to the library, making sure to bring her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson with her. She left the book in the library, grabbed the other book she had recommended to Diamond Tiara, and teleported back to the restaurant.

“Here you go!” Twilight said. She handed the book to Diamond Tiara. “Just make sure to bring it back to me when you’re done!”

Diamond Tiara skimmed through the book and smiled. “This book seems a lot better,” she said. “Thank you!”

“Don’t throw it in a well!” Twilight said, half-jokingly and yet very serious.

“I won’t!” Diamond Tiara said. She hesitated for a moment. “You know what, here, take this back,” she said. She gave the three bits she had taken earlier back to Twilight.

“Thank you!” Twlight said, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left.

“Yes!” Twilight thought. Now she had enough to get another hayburger. She went to the cashier and paid for a third hayburger. As she ate it, she remembered that she still needed to bring the rope back to Applejack.

Comments

[Godslittleprincess]

This story feels like it's just going around in circles.