The After Years

by thewaffler

Bonus Chapter: Sweet Apple Acres Commercials

Bonus Chapter: Sweet Apple Acres TV commercials

A green and an orange colt were having lunch the backyard of a suburban family home. They placed a couple of daisy sandwiches and two glasses of juice on the patio table.

The green one drank his beverage with the look of utter disgust. "This apple juice blows; I wish it wasn't forty percent juice."

Suddenly an old oil lamp parachuted into the backyard and one of the young colts rubbed it. Smoke and sparkles flew out of the lamp as the smoke took the form of a pony.

"IT'S CHROME GRILL, THE GENIE OF SWEET APPLE ACRES!!!" They yelled in unison.

The magic pony genie wiggled his snout and the boring juice disappeared and in its place was new apple juice along with a bushel of assorted apples, the freshest looking apples the likes of which Celestia has never seen.

"Yo, dawg, I heard you like apples, so I put apples in your apple juice."

"We love this great tasting juice." The colts once again said in unison as they each took a sip from their glasses.

An older green mare appeared walked into the yard. "And I love it because it's all natural and doesn't contain high fructose corn syrup."

The stallion genie turned to the children. "These Apples are grown in Sweet Apple Acres with no chemicals or any of that artifical s*BLEEP*t!"

"Thanks for making snack time fun. We love you Chrome Grill."

"I didn't make snack time fun, Sweet Apple Acres produce made it hella good. Each apple is packaged in airtight futuristic packaging to ensure peak freshness and teleported to your local grocery store. Chrome Grill loves you too, but I am needed elsewhere spread the joy of Sweet Apple Acres Apples and to put things inside of other things..."He gave a wink to the mare."...UP, UP AND AWAY!!!!" The genie got in his oil lamp and crashed through an unseen ceiling.

---

Later that night on a different TV set

A pegasus stallion was out drinking with his buddies and time seemed to slow down as the camera zoomed in on the pony. "These beers just don't do it for me, with the bitter taste, low alcohol volume and calories. I feel like I need to drink more to get drunk faster, if only there was a drink for guys like me."

"YOUR PRAYERS HAVE ANSWERED P*BLEEP*Y!!!" Yelled a disembodied voice.

"Whaa--" A lightning bolt flashed before him and transformed that stale ale into Sweet Apple Acres Hard Cider.

"Sweet Apple Acres Hard Cider, a drink that doesn't taste like sh*BLEEP*t, is low in calories, packed with flavor and loaded with so much alcohol, you'll be f*BLEEP*king fat bitches in no time, YOU MIGHT EVEN FIGHT A PONY OR TWO!!!"

The pegasus took a swig of the new drink. "Whoa!!!"

"DAMN, STRAIGHT!!! NOW AVAILABLE IN FORTY PERCENT ALCOHOL AND SIX PACK MINI KEGS!!!"

Disclaimer voice could be heard in the background. "Females pregnant or that may become pregnant should not drink Sweet Apple Acres Hard Cider. You should not drink Sweet Apple Acres Hard Cider if you are operating heavy machinery. Never drink near an open flame. Enjoy responsibly."

---

A/N: I have been drinking when I wrote this nonsense chapter and I thought it was funny at the time....I'm sorry.

Comments

[KARLOS1234IFY]

I feel tempted to buy some.

[thewaffler]

1523792
In Something More I hinted at Truffles and here I referred to it again.

[Sky Charmer]

I can't imagine what the reaction of the mare in the first commercial was when the genie winked at her. Hopefully the kids didn't understand what he meant.

[The_Mechanic]

Well horseapples. I can't find any in my neck of the Everfree forest. Eh.

[werebrony]

LOLZ a rapping gansta genie... ALMOST as good as Roid Rage

[cicakterbang91]

heheh... and here I thought you were gonna make a Panda Cheese reference...

[Riz]

1523810
Yay ! New chapters..

[Moonshine9012]

LOL, i must have moar

[GiantMako]

Xzibit would be proud, glad I finally made the time to read this waffler it's pretty good.

[thewaffler]

1709315
Most of time I get my best/worst ideas while I'm drunk, or really tired.

[thewaffler]

1805084

They went to Canterlot of visit a touring dragon doctor and they knew that much, but what they didn't know was that it was a luck dragon. In the show we only see European style dragons which are depicted as greedy, vain and destruction, I thought it would be a good idea to show a western style dragon (luck dragon) which represent good fortune, virtue and peace. They are also more serpent like and have a mixture of fur and scales.

Fleetwood is also the username of a friend of mine and I put his OC (who happens to be a used car salesman) in this fic as a joke.

[Frankie]

1807433
Okay. However, you are still in the five year portion. What is she doing there now?

[thewaffler]

1807454
In my universe she went to Canterlot and got work as a stage magician and there she hooked up with Blueblood, both being vain stuck up and egotistical with a hatred for Ponyville, they just cliched much to the annoyance of Blueblood's sister Cadence, who normally found love wonderful in all forms, but when those two are together the air almost reeks of arrogance.

[Frankie]

1807510 You have got to write that!

[thewaffler]

1808796
The flower Triple or Triplets are Lil, Rose and Daisy, it's a fan name given to that group of ponies from the episode: Bridle Gossip. In other episodes they tend to be the first to freak out.

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4eiqnGjUA1ruf44ao1_500.jpg

[Wildfire 36]

Status: Incomplete.
I'm waaaaaaaaaaiting...

[thewaffler]

2060508

I'm working on it. It'll be out before I collect social security.

In all seriousness, I am about 40% done and it's a long chapter by the way.

[Mad Hatter]

Oh man, 80 proof cider sounds so bucking good.

[DarkSonicTrail]

"Yo, dawg, I heard you like apples, so I put apples in your apple juice."

GG. Hands down.

[Inferno demon Dash]

Laughed my ass off on this, what the buck?!