The tale of Cursed Shadow the Unicorn who's released into the Wasteland not knowing the results of the war, lost and confused he must try to survive in this new harsh world and discover what happened to the land he once knew.
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QuickBladeCheckers
Joined 22nd Feb, 2012 ·
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Well this story's gonna get shot to hell.
Oh dear Celestia...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/136/232/incoming%20shitstorm.jpg
I swear to god if I see that quote again I'm going punch a hole through titanium.
Oh my god. Red-and-black OC. Has the Internet gone full potato?
Also, this gave me an amazing non-FOE story idea! Hell, this could get featured!
Yuck. I have a bad taste in my mouth after reading this.
i.imgur.com/Duuim.gif
1171648
Small consolation...
STOP! STOP RIGHT THERE! All of you that want to complain about the red and black OC, think for a second! Read the damn story first before you touch that thumb down!
I will read this story and judge it by the merits, not by the image.
I feel like this story... is overdone. It's written well, don't get me wrong, it's just feeling like this is something going through the motions of 'hero nearly dies, survives, goes on an adventure, saves the day', you understand?
Alright look, I'm feeling generous, so rather than just telling you it sucks and being on my way, I'm going to actually take the time to tell you what's wrong with this.
Grammatically you're pretty good, but there's a couple reoccurring mistakes.
-First of all, indent your paragraphs. I know not everyone does it, but dammit it's correct. Do it.
-Whenever you write dialog, the words after the quote don't count as a new sentence, meaning you don't have to capitalize the words. So instead of “There’s too many of them!” Shouted Quill it should be “There’s too many of them!” shouted Quill.
Story-wise, if cliches were water this fic would be Lake Michigan. Cursed Shadow? Urg, that name makes me cringe by how Mary Sue-ish it sounds. I don't care if he's not, readers WILL judge a book by its cover when browsing fanfiction, since so much of it is crap. Speaking of which, your cover image sucks. A word of advice, never use the pony creator for you cover image. It's a sign to readers that your story is bad. It's a somewhat unfair association, but it's there, so you have to accept it.
I encourage you to try writing something else. It really looks like you might have potential, but this is quite frankly just bad.
Red and Black OC, ughh
Welp, small consolation that I was write in the fact that this got shot to shit. Kinda feel bad for the author on this one. At least it didn't feel like giving a blowjob to an overly-hyper porcupine.
How to put this delicately...
The quality of the writing is decent.
The subject of the writing is OHGODWHYWOULDYOUDOTHATTHEHORRORMYEYESMYBEAUTIFULEYES
THANK YOU AUTHOR! Without this, I wouldn't have my super-sexy new story idea!
I didn't think it was that bad...
So is it OC's in general that all this fuss is about? (Still kinda new here)
1171760
I hope it involves RED AND BLACK
anongallery.org/img/2/0/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
1171774
Most OC's are fine. Many are loved. In fact, some of the most popular stories on this site are heavily OC-based.
Black and Red OC's, however...
It seems every twelve year old who wants to make a Pony chooses black coat, red mane and Vinyl's sunglasses. Extra points for Daemonic eyes.
Also, Alicorn OC's are 99% disaster prone. Avoid them like the plague.
1171783 Oh yes.
1171774 Red-and-black OCs are almost always appalling. Even more so if their names try to be dark and mysterious, like 'Cursed Shadow'. And if your OC is also an Element-wielding Alicorn, stand by.
1171801
Jinx
1171792
Whew! I was worried I'd have a 'storm' of my own to deal with (yes I made an OC).
I still am willing to give this story a chance though, I haven't read enough to make a like/dislike decision....
1171808 Damn you.
1171814
Ah-ah-ah! Jinxed, remember?
1171813
Personally, I'd recommend avoiding this one like the plague. Check out some of the other spin-offs like Project Horizons, Heroes, Operation: Flankorage, Pink Eyes, New Beginnings, the list goes on...
Kinda sad really. This author at least seems competent at the technical side of things. Lord knows I've seen far worse far too regularly to complain about that here. It's just the subject matter is so utterly clichéd and over-done. All it needs is for the OC to be able to turn into a Jet and it'd match some of the "highlights" I've seen recently on this site.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be a troll-fic.
1171783
Oh it does. And it'll be good
1171864
All we need is an Alicorn!
1171881
Oh there is one. Prepare yourself! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
1171905
Does it turn into a Jet like Rawhavoc does?
1171915
That might happen in the unreleased epilogue
Both Distrance and sierra_seven_ are here. Huh. Seems we love finding mary sue badfics, don't we?
Anyway, yeah, blatant Mary Sue red-and-black OC. At least it doesn't appear to be Alicorn... yet. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen written, but... there's just nothing I can say about it. I can't view anything past that OC.
Please, for your own sake, if you don't want the flak, scrap the OC and start with something that is not made of Mary-Sue cliche. The story doesn't seem too bad, but that OC is like a huge blot on the canvas of something that otherwise could be quite good.
1171941
I swear there's about a dozen of us who just stumble across these horrible, horrible OCs every time they pop up.
Ho boy, you should've been there in Rawhavoc's one.
Comments got nuked 3 times.
3 times
1171960
I would say good times, but then that would mean I enjoyed being in the same thread with rawhavoc.
1171960>>1171998 Unfortunately I got there late, and could only admire your handiwork. I love that guy
He murderers the English language and acts like nothing happened. Btw, did you see the YouTube video he made about you guys? 
1171960
Just looked at Rawhavoc's profile and newest story.
OH DEAR CELESTIA.
Why? Why does his alicorn OC turn into a jet?
And then his... 'reason' the dislikes are so high.
Ok, time to get some brain bleach.
1172038
No kidding? Are you sure your talking about rawhavoc and not Darkdrome7?
You know, you would think that the human race would actually learn once in a while, to not use FUCKING RED-AND-BLACK OC's? Well, it's not the worst that could happen. At least it's not an alicorn, with random clop scenes with Twilight Sparkle...
1172038
He made a YOUTUBE VIDEO ABOUT US?!?
I feel honoured.
Do you have a link, so that I may bask in it's glory?
1172044
Ouch, I probably should've warned you.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw2798.jpg
1172075
It's the mentality of every teenage Fimfiction writer to try to make
themselvestheir OC's aslame as fuckbadass and cool as possible. What are some cool colors? Red and black! Yeaaaah!1172062 Oh buck, my mistake. Yup, darkdrome made a vid about us fake bronies
Seriously, some people don't learn that love and tolerance doesn't mean we have to love and tolerate every story! Also, I might just follow rawhavoc so I can get to the party sooner next time 
1172082 Darkdrome did, not rawhavoc. My bad
1172038
Yeah, I saw the video.
It took me half an hour to try and figure out what he was trying to say, but god, that was hilarious. Apparently we are all 'anti-brony'.
1172100
No problem man. The Commander and I were actually debating whether or not to follow Raw for the same reason.
I think this was just before it got nuked for the second time
1172113 How dare we dislike his almighty OC. We must cower in fear, lest he turn the Elements of Darkness and Mystery upon us!
1172124 It's a shame talented authors spend their time writing appalling fics about their OCs. Such a waste. Obviously I'm not talking about raw!
1171960
Oh Rawhavoc... Those were goo- Wait, no. They were hilarious times, yes, but I also ran away screaming from his story after the first couple lines of dialogue.
1172100
LINK ME TO THIS GLORIOUS VIDEO
Also,
Plum, Sierra, 1172095
You guys may enjoy this one:
Fluttershy's Guardian
THE GUY'S CLOTHES CAN TAKE A BEATING!
Anyways, going back to the matter at hand, yep, red and black OC. I don't know what to say about it other than it reminds me of the time people thought my OC story pony was a red and black OC, and they also thought it was an alicorn.
I know how people are like when they see OC alicorns, but the red and black hair was kind of my fault. Thankfully, his coat isn't black because it didn't look right to me if it was black. So I made it a deep reddish-brown color. Then, I made my OC's true colors (literally and figmently [however you spell that damn word]), and, now, he is my profile picture. The only problem, his cutie mark is wrong. That is just his temporary cutie mark until my friend finishes his actual cutie mark so I can add it on with my crappy Photoshop skills.
Now, I shall notice I am rambling off... again... on something that does not pertain to the story that I am supposed to be discussing about.
Now, talking about the story, it was decent. Don't use the pony maker image as a cover art. I used crappy Photoshop skills to change mine a bit so it wasn't that. Try to avoid black and red OC's, especially if they have dark names like yours. Pretty decent story plot, and the grammar is good. Just try to change up the story a bit, the OC, and his name (or start a new story all together). After that, you should be fine. You have the potential, you just need to use it on the right stuff to avoid flames. That's all I have to say. Try to improve and keep up the good work.
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
1172131
There was an element of mystery as well?? Oh no.
You know, I'm starting to think that we should make a group for discussing/linking badfics or something. But that might go against the rules.
1172082
Here's the video.
1172167
I don't think there are any rules against such a group. Who shall be admin, though? That is the question.
ALSO
THANK YOU FOR THAT LINK!
*watches*
1172165
Ahah, nice to know I'm making a name for myself.
1172154
Kinda sad he didn't recognise the sarcasm
1172167
All of my wat
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw6117.jpg
Anyways, it's 4 am here. As much as I love to tear down R&B OC's, it'll have to wait until morning.
Well. Later in the morning, at least.
Reading Rawhavoc's story now.
It's... wow.
As for this one, I'm not seeing much originality or a very fleshed out protagonist. I know it's only the first chapter but this OC seems bad, I'm not gonna lie. On the bright side it's not painful to read.
Judgement reserved until further chapters are posted, but I would recommend taking this a different route.
1172154 Hahahahaha he though you guys meant that. That's cute
1172154
Dude, don't be bringing any possums to this badass cause he'll shoot the fuck out of them like a Green Beret.
(it was shit)
EDIT: This story is now a message board for discussing failed stories and authors.
1172167
Fun fact: My newfound pal coaxed the guy into making that video.
1172185 1172194 1172195
I know right? I feel bad for the kid now...
1172167 Is there supposed to be no audio for that video?
EDIT: Oh, wait! Never mind, I have my headphones plugged in.
But seriously. We should make a group for finding bad fanfics so we can discuss them and read hilarious comment threads