• Published 14th Aug 2020
  • 4,289 Views, 1,863 Comments

Interviews With Equestrians - Jmaster49



A look inside the hidden perspectives of the average pony by your average joe. Starting with the imprisonment of Cozy Glow, this pony sets out to expose the hidden problems of Equestria that its residents have a right to know.

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Subject 7: Diamonds and Lilies

“I...did. You must be Diamond Tiara,” I ventured a guess. The mare was nearly fully grown, and had a light shade of pink with a tiara on her head. Was this Spoiled Rich’s child? That begged the question: Just how old was the mother? I had kept this to myself, but Mrs. Rich looked rather fetching for someone her age. But enough about that. “I did speak to her, yes.”

“...What...did you say exactly? She doesn’t get visitors too often.” she asked out of concern, probably worried over what sort of things her mother had to say about her.

“Oh, we were just discussing the state of affairs in Ponyville, specifically the sort of schooling that’s going on.”

And yet, she didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. Persistent in getting more out of me, the young mare took a step closer, “Listen sir, I need to know every last detail. My mother has the tendency to say things she will eventually regret later in her life. I have to make sure she doesn’t do it again.”

“Well now, when you put it like that…” I had to come clean about everything we discussed. Honestly was the name of my game after all. “We also discussed someone named Cozy Gl--”

“Stop,” she interjected, “that’s...what I was looking for. Listen, Mr…?”

She was looking for my name, “Oh, Pale Vestige. But what made you come all the way out here?”

“In a nutshell, I want you to drop what you’re doing. This...case of yours.”

That was not what I had expected. But I wasn’t a stranger to resistance. “I...beg your pardon, Ms. Tiara? Why do you want me to cease? You were in her horseshoes at once point as well--maybe not on the same scale, but...”

“It’s...not that I disagree. But, well look around you sir. Everypony has their own sort of...what’s the word I’m looking for--stagnance. Everyone is stuck in their own little worlds and living happy as can be, but something like this? The moral complexities of this situation is just not something that the masses are ready for.”

It wasn’t good to discuss this outside, lest somepony hear. I decided to invite her inside my humble abode, “Hang on for a moment, this would be a conversation best held indoors. Would you mind coming in?”

“I don’t.”

I led her inside. My house was admittedly quite the mess. Files of papers all over the place. Some related to my work, some not. A recently purchased teapot--thanks to the influence of Cheerilee--was on my stove with several cups with experimental teabags placed in each one. My dinner table was the only relatively spotless area with one seat dedicated to little items such as my writing supplies and a clock I needed to fix.

Damn I’m a procrastinator.

“...You have an interesting home, sir.”

“HA!” I let out a hearty cackle as I closed the door behind us. There was no way that comment was sincere. Given that she lived in a mansion, I was prepared for all sorts of snide comments. “Don’t be afraid of calling me out. I need to get my things in order, I know. But so much of it is in my way. Anyhow, what were you saying?” I removed my vest and hat to place them on one of the chairs at the dinner table.

I took a seat in that same chair, and she sat opposite of me. “Alright, so essentially, I’d prefer it if you quit what you’re doing. Not everypony is going to agree. And the ones that don’t are gonna come after you...with everything they have.”

“I’ve been knocked down before, missy. When your line of work consists of attempting to defend even the most seemingly wretched individuals, you get used to the scrutiny. Don’t worry about me.”

“There’s more than that,” she blurted out, “I heard rumors that the ponies of Canterlot are starting to form their own group to counter what you’re trying to start.”

Ah, there it was. There was going to be some sort of backlash. I’m just glad it’s happened sooner than later. “...really?”

She nodded, “Mm-hmm. My mom said she heard it from some other fancy-schmancy folk who had visited Ponyville last week. If things keep going the way they are, it’s gonna be trouble. If you’re a friend of my mom’s, then I don’t want you to get hurt. She’d be crushed.”

Shocker. Spoiled Rich concerned about someone other than herself? I thought it was all a front. A ponysona if you will. Turns out those feelings were real. “...I am surprised to hear that. I thought she was--”

“Snobby? Obnoxious? Stubborn?” Diamond listed off multiple adjectives that could’ve been used to describe her mother. “Yeah, when I was little, for sure. Nowadays, she’s better. Takes more time to talk with me and lets me live my life the way I want now instead of the way she wants. But enough about that. I just want you to be aware of your actions, and the possible ramifications for them.”

“Don’t worry. My folks and I are ready to deal with anything that comes our way.”

She got up, and headed towards the door. “Well, I hope so. Like I said, I don’t disagree. I can’t imagine how Cozy Glow must’ve felt. What compelled her to do all of that. Maybe she suffered from a not-so-good mother like I did. I don’t know. But I’d like to…”

Not only was there opposition brewing, but she felt almost empathetic for that filly--well, given how many years have passed, Cozy Glow would actually be a mare now. Hot damn. That was not pleasant to imagine.

“One more thing, Ms. Tiara. Before you go: What’s your take on the world? What do you think of it?”

She was caught off-guard by the question. I could see it in the way her ears flicked. “I beg your pardon? The world? You mean, in general?”

“Yes. I want your stance on the world at large. It could be anything.”

After a moment or two, she sighed. “I guess since you were kind enough to explain what I wanted to hear, I can do that for you. Here goes: I think the whole idea that anypony can do anything is somewhat...annoying.”

“Would you mind elaborating?”

“Everyone talks about how we’re not put into a box when we’re born, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that’s sorta true. Everypony is born as either a unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony. That in itself is a box. What you’re born as dictates what abilities you’ll be able to learn and how useful you’ll be to those around you. Look at me, for example. I can’t fly or use magic spells because I'm an earth pony. That’s not to say I hate it. Not at all, it’s just...the way everyone talks about the Cutie Marks in particular has...well, I’m starting to see reality now.”

I had scribbled down a few of her key opinions, and looked up once she finished her explanation. “And that reality is?”

“Our Cutie Marks do put us in a box of sorts. Once we get them, there’s nothing we can do about them. They’re on our flanks forever. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing, though. That box has loads of different things we can do inside of it. Once again, take me for example: I figured that my tiara mark signified my superiority over others. But as I made friends and stood up to my mother, I realized it’s about how well I can lead others and keep things organized.”

“Exceptional…” I mumbled, my mouth agape which caused my pencil to drop to the floor. “And you came to this conclusion on your own?’

“Well...with the help of Silver Spoon, but yes. We realized that while we can’t truly be anything. we’re more than just one thing. But at the same time, I hope all the other young foals of today are being taught to be moderate in their passions. Because if you go too far in one direction, you’ll...well, you’ll end up like Cozy.”

Heavy hearted, but I couldn’t help but agree. Certain things weren’t entirely taught correctly, and maybe it was time for a bit of restructuring. In any case, I urged the young mare to stay calm, “Don’t worry. One day, I’m sure we’ll find out just what caused her to tick,” I opened the door for her so she could exit, “until then, you won’t hear a thing from me. The folks in Canterlot won’t cause any problems.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Well, I’m off, then. Oh, and if you need me for anything, come by Diamond’s Tiaras. It’s a jewelry store near the town square. We sell watches too.”

Cute pun, but I had no need for all of--wait, did she say watches? “I’ll consider it. Have a good evening.” Once she left, I closed the door and instantly bolted to the back of my house to my bedroom to dig for something from under my bed. “Where is it, where is it?” After some snooping, I grasped it with my teeth. A communication device meant to cover long distances through radio transmission.

Kids these days called them walkie-talkies, but that was pretty infantile for my tastes.

I turned it on with a press of a button, and spoke into it, “Alright, Corkscrew? You there, over?”

It would be a moment before I got a response. The young stallion’s familiar yawn hit my eardrums, “Ahhh...yeah, what’s going on, boss? We’re done for today aren’t we?”

“Of course. But listen, I need you to get me a ticket to Canterlot via train for tomorrow.”

“Why can’t you like...do it yourself, boss?”

“Because, CC. I’m going to be busy gathering up several items I need for my next investigative report tomorrow. The last thing I need is to forget to buy a train ticket. You know how I get with small details!”

I huffed. I lost a bit of my temper there due to anxiety. Corkscrew made a note of this, and started to laugh at my misfortune. “Ha-ha! Sure, boss. Just don’t do anything crazy. Quick Draw will tear you a new one if you do something crazy.”

I could feel my eyes rolling, “Just get it done. I have to prepare.”

“Whaddya goin’ to Canterlot for anyways?”

“An investigation, Cork! Didn’t I mention that?!”

“Yeah, but well--who are you investigating?”

“That’s...I’ll find out once I get there. Now just get it finished!”

“But I--”

I turned off the radio-based communication device and tossed it across the room. Next, I would start packing a suitcase full of essential items. A video camera, a tape recorder, extra notepads, extra pens, and another hat just in case.

“This...will work.”

The next morning, I met Corkscrew at the train station, without my usual vest and hat combination. The young pegasus waited patiently for me--bless his holy wings. “Yo, boss. I got it, right here.”

“Thanks, dear friend,” we did that newfangled sign of respect called a hoof-bump, and I took the ticket, “alright. To give a better explanation, I’m off to see what I can sniff out in Canterlot. Seems like I may encounter some hostile individuals there who don’t share the same opinion regarding this case.”

“Boss...is that a good idea?” He seemed to doubt me. I didn’t blame him for it. “Isn’t everyone kinda off-put by whether or not Cozy Glow should be set free?”

I put my hoof around his neck. “That’s the power of perspectives, dear son. Of course I’m not going to let them realize who I am. I’m going undercover as a spry reporter for the Canterlot newspaper,” I let him go, and stepped onto the loading platform to listen for the train’s arrival, “then, once I get a better understanding of their concerns, I’ll be able to move forward and address them with you both.”

“Alrighty, boss. I’m keeping the walkie-talkies on-hoof just in case you need us.”

“Thanks, old friend. I can count on you for anything.” Did he really prefer the street name of the device? Seriously? No matter. His efforts were appreciated all the same. The train arrived not long after, and I trotted on with my luggage. We waved at each other as it left the station.


This train ride was much more relaxing compared to the one to the Empire. Most of the ponies on board for Canterlot were civilized. Relaxed. Seemed simple enough. I would wait quietly, putting on the guise of an excited young stallion who had never been there before, overly enthused at the idea of meeting ponies who were far more wealthy and prestigious than I.

Now I realized how the average reporter felt.

After a long, bumpy ride up the side of its mountain, the train arrived in Canterlot. I exited carefully to avoid any accidental contact with these high-class ponies who were returning to their homes. So this is the home of the Alicorn princesses? Impressive. Building after building. The city was like a time capsule of sorts that preserved the essence of the old medieval age. Quite the sheer amount of white as well. The paths, while still grassy like Ponyville, were better trimmed and felt like velvet against the hooves to walk upon.

No wonder they loved it so much here. It was like a city for retirees.

My first objective was to find someone worth talking to. Or interviewing, rather. That’s when I noticed a large group of high-class ponies start to gather near the square. Was something going on? I just had to find out. So I did my best to peek over the crowd, but despite my efforts, I got nowhere.

Maybe someone could fill me in on just what was happening. I approached a gray unicorn stallion for answers, “Excuse me sir, would you mind explaining what’s going on?”

“Don’t you know? Fleur-de-Lis is about to make her first appearance of the month!”

Had to sell the act. I was a reporter who was on his first assignment. “Appearance? I mean, of course I know who she is. I just thought she fell out of style, years ago.”

“Nope, her beauty is eternal. You’d better get your camera ready for some good shots. She won’t be around for long. And I don’t think she’ll be taking questions.”

I took a look at the camera around my neck. I had no idea who this Fleur was. But it would be an interesting experience. Yes, it did seem rather superficial. But getting the opinion of a famous model would help paint a picture of what most were led to believe in this city.

“There she is!” A mare with a distinctive blue and white, toothpaste-like mane shouted.

I put a hoof over my eyelids. Camera flashes went off like violent strobe lights from all directions. My eyes were blinded just as much as my ears with the constant yelling.

“Fleur-de-Lis! Over here!”

“Madam Fleur! This way!”

“FDL! FDL! FDL!”

At last, I would lay eyes on just who they were shouting about. A rather thin, beautiful mare with a coat whiter than milk and a mane more sleek than silk strutted down the road to adoration of her numerous fans. I say ‘beautiful’ with massive air-quotes, though. Such a malnourished-looking, stick-like figure didn’t appeal to me. But to each pony their own. She was invaluable to my research, however. She likely knew the way this city operated better than its founders. Having her thoughts were one thing, but her knowledge was a stallion of a different color.

The mare simply walked along the path. Every once in a while, she would acknowledge a fan or two with a wave of her hoof, but kept silent the whole way through.

I decided to follow. Having stayed on this side of the path, it allowed me to watch her from afar. Gained a few tactical photos as well. Things looked like they were going my way until I smacked face-first into the side of a building.

“HAW--” I made an...odd noise of sorts when I slammed into it. Felt like a brick wall. Or a massive rock. Neither. As I rubbed my head, I looked up to see the massive penthouse building. This had to be where the model mare stayed. Newly erected for sure, having taken inspiration from Manehattan’s suites, but still had Canterlot’s medieval flair on the outside. Perfection. Turned out I was right on target.

When the model mare entered the building, I heard something along the lines of only allowing a certain amount of interviews today. Or maybe she said she was inviting everpony? I don’t know. My head still spun from that fall I took just moments ago. I shook my head and magically regained consciousness.

“Yoo-hoo, over here!”

I heard the mare call out to me. I looked around, and pointed a hoof at myself. “Me?”

“Of course, silly. Don’t you want to ask me some questions?” she said with a flip of her mane.

How trivial. I wasn’t at all impressed by the flimsy aesthetics of simple grooming. But of course, my own thoughts were irrelevant. I was a rookie looking for an opportunity to speak with the legendary Fleur. This was it. Even if it was likely out of pity for my small injury.

“Oh, yes ma’am!” I said with rather convincing enthusiasm while I ran up to her, “I have loads of different questions to ask.”

“Patience. You’ll get your turn once I’m done with the others. 25th floor, dear,” she winked at me and turned around. With a flick of her tail, the few other reporters she had allowed to come in with her rode the first elevator up. As they left, I noticed they were all unicorns. Hm.

In any case, I would take the next elevator of the penthouse. It was rather quiet here. I liked it that way. Fancy red carpeting followed by gold trim on the walls with lots of exotic plants around every corner. Not bad. I wish I had time to take a good look at them.

DING!

The elevator opened. Out came a pair of high-class unicorns who turned their nose up at the sight of me. Not very sporting, but I knew just how these types were. Judgy was far too light of a term to describe it.

I went in, and pressed the button for the floor that Fleur was on. 25? Pretty high, but it wasn’t exactly ridiculous. This place was new after all, so it couldn’t take that long, right?

Wrong.

Five whole minutes. Doesn’t sound that long on paper, but wow. You really get a sense of time when you’re standing idle in one spot with nothing to do but stare at lavish gold doors. I took a moment to review my notes, and with another DING!, the doors opened.

I exited. I took a look to the left and found a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on a door at the end of the hall. This had to be where Fleur stayed. I rushed over, and raised my hoof to knock, but I held back. I chose to show restraint, and wait as she said.

Another 20 minutes passed before a unicorn stallion left the room to head back to the elevators. Finally. I wasn’t sure what could keep him so long. Unless...no. I wasn’t going to think about that.

“Have a nice day!” She waved to the stallion that departed with an excited giggle, then she laid eyes on me. “Oh, you’re next,” Fleur looked at me with a rather unimpressed expression, “come on in, sir.”

“Thank you, madam,” her room was...new to say the least. Posters of herself all over, a massive vanity with dozens of different types of makeup to try, a silk bed that looked like it cost more than my house. What didn’t she have? “Wow...I’ve never seen this kind of stuff before!”

“I’m sure you haven’t,” she responded with a snappy pace, “So where do you want to begin?” She sat in her vanity chair and looked at me with patient eyes.

“Well, uh, what’s your opinion on the state of Canterlot and its relationship with the other cities? Do you have fans all over?”

“Mm, mostly in Canterlot, but I do have some fans in other places. It’s nice knowing how much everypony adores me.”

I started writing. As nonsense it may have sounded, this stuff could very well aid me in the future. “Even if it’s just for your looks?”

“Tch. It’s a matter of substance, dear boy,” she scoffed and turned around to face her mirror. “Unicorns have to exemplify grace and poise. We are the ones who founded the most illustrious city in Equestria after all.”

Hang on, unicorns in particular? Was there some sort of bias in this mare’s horn that I wasn’t aware of? Time to press the subject. “Oh, really? It’s kinda strange that you’d mention unicorns specifically. Any reason why?”

She ceased her application of painted chemicals to her muzzle, and got up. She took a few steps towards me, and stared me down with a cold set of eyes. “Promise you’ll keep this bit anonymous?”

“Absolutely, Ms. Fleur!” I took a step back. I always hated the way ponies would occasionally forget their sense of personal space.

“Good,” her expression softened, “anyhow. I believe that unicorns represent the highest beauty standards. The horns, the magic. It’s something that the other members of ponykind simply won’t get, dear.”

Now I was confused. Just how and why did she think that Earth ponies and pegasus ponies weren’t as beautiful? “Would you mind explaining in more detail?”

“Think about it. How many beauty magazines do you see for earth ponies and pegasi dear, hm?”

I actually did think about it for a moment. “Not much, I suppose. Compared to the unicorns anyway.”

“There you go. Now you understand. And just to be clear, I have nothing against the other races, dear. But they just simply don’t have the same...poise as we unicorns do. The pegasi control the weather, yes. But all that flying messes up your mane and uch! I don’t want to think about it.”

My thoughts dreaded her opinion on my own kind. Just how would she speak of earth ponies in the presence of one? “And the earth ponies?”

No hesitation. “They’re glorified farmers, dear. Always getting their hooves dirty with the jobs I would never dream of doing. But they’re far from graceful. Always covered in mud and dirty. Completely uncivilized.”

While I would’ve felt insulted, I respected her willingness to be honest right to my face. “Huh. Well if that’s how you--”

“I’m not finished.” But she didn’t stop there. She started to pace her room with several items caught in her pale pink magical aura through levitation. Now brushing her mane, tail, and doing her eyelash all at once. Organized. Not bad. “Without any sort of active magic, they can’t even perform basic tasks needed for maximum beauty.”

“Oh?”

“Well? Look at me.” She struck a pose while the levitated items continued to groom her, “I can take care of myself in dozens of ways without even trying. An earth pony simply can’t do that without magic. It’s unfortunate, but it’s how life is.”

Fascinating. Not in a good way. There were better things for everyone to worry about aside from their appearance. Still, I kept my personal thoughts out of the interview. The last thing I wanted to do was fly off the proverbial handle again. Not this time. “I see...so you think that earth ponies don’t matter as much as unicorns?”

By now, she had turned away from me. Her back facing towards me as I kept writing. “Now, now, I didn’t say that. Everypony’s lives are equal. But there are just...certain things that some ponies are born to do better than others. On average anyways. Tis also why the School for Gifted Unicorns exists. We simply have a better range of abilities to make use of to defend Equestria.”

Another detail I overlooked. How those in Canterlot thought of that school. “Oh?”

She stretched her legs and applied shiny horseshoes to each hoof, “Precisely. Teleportation, fire magic, explosion magic, transmutation spells. Earth ponies unfortunately can’t do what we have the potential to accomplish. For the safety of Equestria, we’re simply more valuable as--”

“SHATTER APART!”

Just then, we heard a wild screaming from outside. Both of us rushed to the nearby window to find something completely unexpected.

A blue stallion rode a spiral of ice into the sky around a massive Timberwolf. It was just far away enough in the forest at the bottom of the mountain to where it wasn’t a threat to Canterlot. But also just close enough to where we could spectate. The Timberwolf had been frozen solid and once the stallion reached the top of the wooden beast, and punched the top of its head. With a single strike of his hoof, the beast turned to nothing but frozen ash.

But the real kicker? He was an earth pony. No horn to cast the magic from what we could see.

“Well now...that was unexpected, wasn’t it?” I almost laughed.

Fleur-de-Lis simply shut her window in annoyance. “I said on average did I not? Not a true 100% generalization.”

I rolled my eyes and made a mental note of getting in touch with that earth pony cryomancer. He was an exceptionally rare case that I had to suss out later. But alas, now I would arrive at my big question.

Fleur went to her closet and started to try on different outfits. “Is there anything else? I have a lot of ponies to see, so if you could kindly hurry it up…”

“Alright, for my final question: What’s your opinion on the banishment of Cozy Glow?”

“She deserved it.”

I rubbed my hoof across my chin, “I see...and why is that?”

“She completely humiliated Chancellor Neighsay and defied his direction. Anypony who makes a fool out of him deserves imprisonment regardless of their age. That’s why she was put in Tartarus.”

Wait...Tartarus? I knew about the stone part, but that detail had not yet been revealed to me. How could I have missed it?! No. Now wasn’t the time to lose it. I had a ponysona to maintain. “But it’s been years since she was put away. Don’t you think she deserves a second chance?”

“No,” she replied with an even more annoyed tone. Guess she wasn’t into questions that had nothing to do with her. “Alright...you have five minutes left. Anything else you want to ask? Anything...related to me?”

She sashayed towards me, but I shook my head. I had exactly what I came here for. “Nope. Have a good day, madam. You look great!” And I hightailed it out of that room. On my way to the elevator, I noticed a line of unicorns outside of her door ready to interview her. Mostly stallions. Odd. But not my concern.

I left that stuffy penthouse and ran back to my suitcase that I had left in an alley behind Restaurant Row. Even these back streets were well kept with nicely cut grass and even some flowers blooming among them. Crazy how hard they worked to maintain their image here. Something neither Ponyville nor the Empire focused on.

In any case, I donned my standard vest and hat yet again. Now that I had a better idea where to go, my next target was the Chancellor of the Equestrian Education Administration. As he apparently had the closest contact to the filly before her banishment all those years ago.

“Heh.”

This’ll certainly be a lesson to remember.

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